It hurt, so much.

In the end he did find someone else. He has a girlfriend. She's so pretty, and nice. I ran into her when buying more alcohol. She's so nice too. I just can't believe he moved on.

So fast.

It's been, what? 2-3 months?

I'm not recovering, but I guess he's doing way better without me. I like it that way. I like that he's happy. I like that he has someone that makes him feel better.

,but it hurts

It hurts knowing I was the one holding him down. That he wasn't actually the one for me. I love him so much. I thought he loved me too, but I guess things don't always go my way, haha.

After the break up, I couldn't get myself back on my feet.

I dropped out, failing my brother.

I've locked myself in my house, living off alcohol and pizza.

,But I end up throwing up everything so I've been losing weight.

I feel so broken. I'm so weak, I keep complaining, talking about dying, but I'm too much of a pussy to actually take action. I need to do something.

After hours of thinking, I've decided to end it tonight.

It's better doing it early then planning it later, and having to live on this unfair no-good planet.

I want to be free. I want this weight on my shoulders to be gone. Before you say anything about me being selfish, I already got that.

It's selfish, but who will really care, later?

Nii-san doesn't, he has his loving wife, his child. He's doing great. He doesn't even call me anymore to check up. It's like he has forgotten me. I'm ok with that.

Usagi-san. I can't bring myself to leave him, but he has left me already. He has moved on. He doesn't need me. I'm just waiting for him to tell me he doesn't want her, he wants me, but that's too good to be true.

Later that night,

I got my rope, I can't believe I'm doing this.

Will anyone even find me?

I already wrote my suicide note. It was short, but it's not like I really needed to say anything. Anyone who read it would've forgot it the next day. No point in putting work into it.

I want someone to find me.

Why? Why do I have to be like this?

I called Usagi-san,

I doubt he will answer, he probably deleted my nu-

In one ring, he answered

"Hello, Misaki? Are you ok?"

Why do you have to still remember me?
Why do you act so nice to me?

"Usagi-san.."

"Misaki? What's wrong? You never call me. I'm going to come over, I'm free right now. Let's talk, please."

"N-no, I.. uh.."

please don't see me like this

"I wanted to say.. I love you.. and I always will."

Then I hung up.

I hope he doesn't come to me.

I don't want him to see this disgusting body hanging from the ceiling.

I jumped on my chair.

I tied the rope around the hook on the roof.

Wrapped the rope around my neck and tied a knot,

and stood there.

I couldn't do it. It hurt. I didn't want to leave everyone, but I knew it was best. No one would care if I left. The earth wouldn't stop moving. People wouldn't stop going to work. Kids wouldn't stop going to school. I never had a impact on this damned world. No one would care if I left.

I kicked the chair back and hung myself.

I started crying, hard.

It hurt, so much.

My vision turned blurry. I knew I was finally free.

Then, I saw my door slam open.

And it all went black.