This started off as a poor excuse to write some smut, however it seems to have taken on a life of its own and has the potential to be so much more than that now. I do hope you are all enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it! feel free to leave comments and such as I do love to hear from readers!

Lu

She did not awake again that night, giving him the impression that perhaps the drug was abating in her system. Sleep was not something that came back to him that night and so he lay there staring at the ceiling until the shadows began to shorten and the sun came up. The moment it was light enough, he grabbed one of the books from his side of the bed and tried to read. It was mostly a pointless endeavour, his mind was far too distracted by the woman who lay sleeping peacefully at his side.

He had been a fool to think he would be able to resist her, that his hands would have been enough. He wondered if she knew how beautiful she was. Likely that she did, why else would she be quite so talented at espionage. He didn't know a great deal about her missions or what she had done but he had heard she was quite the seductress and it was this skill that had helped her on more than one mission. Right now, with dishevelled hair and slightly parted lips, she looked like an ordinary woman adrift in another world. She shifted and he tore his gaze away, not wanting to be caught starring at her. He was already buried in his book when her eyes opened.

"Morning," she mumbled.

"Hello," he replied.

"You stayed."

"Of course I did," he replied, where else was he going to go? The couch? At least it was warm in bed, even if sleep had evaded him. He watched as she stretched and sat up, her limbs muscular and well-toned. She then got up out the bed, presumably to use the loo. He frowned when he spotted a scar on her lower abdomen, just above her left hip.

"How did you get that?" he asked, though he had the feeling he knew already.

Nat pressed her lips together before answering him, "You shot me."

He blinked. "I did?"

"Hold the thought," she said before nipping off to the bathroom. He was left thinking about when he might have shot her. He seemed to remember a warm climate and a cliff. Was there something to do with a car and an Iranian… He ran a hand over his face and pushed hair back from his eyes. By the time Natasha returned, he had remembered a few more details. "You were bringing an Iranian somewhere. He was important though I have no idea why."

"He was a nuclear engineer," she said.

"I don't know why I was sent after him," he said, looking up at her finally, "But I shot your tire out and you went off a cliff." She nodded to confirm he had it correct, "That should have been it but you dragged him out. I had to kill him so I went through you…" he said. That was all he had, there was no other attachment to the memory, it ended with them both shot.

"There's nothing to add," she said as she sat back down on the bed again, she propped herself up on the pillows and looked over at where he was, "It hurt, I have a nice scar." He gently ran his right hand over the mark and nodded. "I'm sorry," he said wistfully.

"We both know that it wasn't you who did it," she said, "Not really." He gave a rueful nod at that, not entirely convinced but not wanting to argue the point either.

"Is this the only time we met previously, before…" She opened her mouth to say something when the phone rang. He let out a sigh and scooted out of the bed, wondering who would be calling at this time and already knowing the answer. He picked up the receiver and muttered a tired, "Good Morning Sir."

"I take it you're alright?" came the dulcet tones of Nick Fury.

"Never better," he replied.

"And Romanov?"

"Fine, we're both fine," he replied, trying to suppress a yawn. He could almost hear the director smile at that and he resisted the urge to sigh.

"You're over half way through the initial period," Fury said, "Is this on speaker?"

James returned to the bedroom and pressed the speaker button, "You need to hear this apparently," he said, explaining it to her. She nodded and listened.

"The initial period is shorter than we first thought, according to the tests we ran; it should start to ease off after noon today." James felt a little better on hearing that, however there was another emotion that ran underneath it, which he was much less sure about. "That's the good news, the bad news is we think this is permanent," he said.

"What?" they both said in unison.

"We haven't yet managed to find an antidote to the drug they used, it seems as though it has altered Natasha's cortex and has her now fixated permanently, they're still working on it and it won't be as strong over the coming days but it will still be there." James exchanged a glance with Natasha and knew their faces mirrored each other. It meant there would have to be some permanent adjustments, more so than they thought there would be initially and he wasn't so sure how he felt about that. He would have to go and live on the base for a start. The flat wasn't all that much but it was home – more home than the base and besides, it was an escape! A place to come when everything on the base got too overwhelming; something he had found essential.

"We're still figuring out the details so you two worry about lying low for now," Fury said. He clicked off then, not waiting for a goodbye or an acknowledgement. James looked at Natasha again and saw the look of anguish on her face.

"How…" she whispered. He had no idea what to say to her, his own thoughts were as tumultuous as hers, of that he had no doubt.

"We'll figure it out," he said, not sure how that would work out.

"How? I cannot live like this forever James! I know you don't want to either!" she said. That stung a little more than he thought it should and he frowned.

"Don't speak for me Natasha, you're not hideous; far from it and I think we could adjust to it in time," he said, "Unless of course, you don't want to." He stopped, took a breath and let it out slowly. "It's going to take some thought." He knew that and he wasn't entirely sure how to proceed with it. She clearly needed something more than comforting words so he put his arm over her shoulder and gave her a sort of hug. He had never felt so awkward in his life; he was sure she was going to shove him off.

To his complete surprise, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let herself be hugged. For a moment he thought it was the drug in her system, however it was not followed up by any initiation of sexual contact. For a long while, he just held her there, close against him while he tried to figure out what they were going to do.