More heartbreak

Evan woke up and felt the blanket around him. He smiled and wondered where it came from. He closed his eyes again and pulled it tighter around him, yawning contently. He started to wonder how Ienzo was doing.

Ienzo's screaming had died down and he was now sobbing softly. His eyes burned and his throat was dry, but the pain he was feeling in his heart was worse than anything else he had felt before.

Evan kept the blanket around his shoulders and walked to Ienzo's room. He could hear the sobbing on the other side of the door and he knocked gently. "Ienzo? Are you alright?" He asked quietly, concerned.

Ienzo sat up when hearing Evan's voice at the door. He slowly shuffled from the bed to the door, opening it. "...Evan..." He looked up at him after opening the door, his eyes still red from crying so hard, his clothes damp from the tears running down his cheeks and neck.

Evan saw Ienzo's face and sighed sadly. "What's wrong?" He reached a hand out for Ienzo shyly. "Did something happen?"

"Myde... I think... what I said to him made him leave. It's all my fault!" Ienzo cried. "The strangest thing though... is that I don't exactly feel regret. It hurts so much inside, but I feel a strange satisfaction and relief along with it. I really don't know what to do..."

Evan nodded. "That means it was the right thing for you I think..." He sighed, not liking to see Ienzo so upset, but was happy to think that he was free for himself now too... "Are you going to be ok?" He asked, snuggling into the blanket though he still had no idea Ienzo was the one that had given it to him.

"I'm not sure." Ienzo paused. "Could you possibly... just stay for awhile?" He asked, tugging on Evan's arm, urging him to come inside. Ienzo normally liked to deal with his problems alone, not wanting to open up and share his feelings with anyone else. But he had worked along side Evan for most of his life and he trusted him, he knew Evan was the one person who would never lie to or betray him.

Evan nodded and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. "Yeah...I'd be happy to stay..." He smiled slightly and gave Ienzo a hug. "Just tell me what's got you so hurt..." He whispered. His actions were somewhat flirtatious for his normal standards, but could have been seen simply as being a good friend.

Ienzo sat back on the bed, hugging a pillow to himself. "Have you ever thought that we're too logical about things sometimes?" He asked, referring to all the apprentices including him and Evan. "I feel like I let that side of me destroy my relationship with Myde... because I just couldn't let my mind believe that I loved him, while I was still confused about how it was possible to love him after he had only just met." Ienzo sighed, still trying to hold back a few tears. "I told myself I wanted to be more carefree, but when I try to, it's so hard. I always feel more comfortable staying in this logical state of mind, it makes me feel safe."

Evan sighed. "Ienzo...that's your personality you shouldn't change that for anyone...It makes you...well you." He scratched his head and pushed his long dirty blond hair from his face. "I mean would you try to change your name because someone you loved didn't like it?"

"It just seems like if I stay the way I am, no one will ever want me..." Ienzo replied sadly, wiping away the tears from his eyes again.

Evan sighed. "Ienzo...that's...not true...at all." He looked down and felt something inside him break. "There's someone that loves you just the way you are..."

"I can only hope that you're right..." Ienzo said tiredly as he leaned over against Evan, he closed his eyes after feeling a bit light-headed and faint from crying so hard previously. He felt too stressed now to go back and get any work done, he just wanted to pass out so he wouldn't have to think about Myde anymore.

Evan wrapped his arms around Ienzo and held him gently. He couldn't really find a way to reasonably say how he felt about his friend and figured it would be a bad time what with his recent break-up with Myde. He sighed quietly and nuzzled up to him.

Ienzo's thoughts began to clear, leaving him calm and relaxed as he was starting to fall asleep.

Evan smiled and kept Ienzo in his arms as he sat on the bed. He thought he would stay until his friend was ready to wake up again. He gave a gentle kiss on the man's forehead and sighed.

Ienzo slowly slumped over in Evan's arms as he had gotten too comfortable and couldn't stop himself from falling asleep, though he smiled slightly before drifting away into his dreams when feeling Evan kiss his forehead.

Evan smiled and cradled Ienzo gently in his arms and laid down. "I hope you don't mind this..." He whispered "But I don't want to let you go yet..." He felt his face redden slightly and tried to hide it.

After hour of crying Myde laid in bed as he longed to hold Ienzo, but all he could hold was his pillow, he then got up, he want to know why Ienzo made him feel like this, so he left to go to the lab where Ienzo worked

Ienzo turned in his sleep, laying an arm over Evan who was next to him. He suddenly noticed this and opened his eyes in surprise. "Evan! Your still here? I thought you would have already left by now..." Ienzo blushed slightly while taking his arm away.

Evan shook his head and smiled. "No...I…wanted to stay here...I can go if you want me to though." He sighed and started to stand up.

"No!" Ienzo shouted then looked a little embarrassed. "I just... wasn't expecting you to stay, that's all..." He looked away, hiding the side of his face that was visible to Evan under his hair.

Evan smiled happily and wrapped his arms around Ienzo again, snuggling his face against the man's neck. "Ienzo..." He muttered quietly before turning red with embarrassment

Ienzo smiled slightly, both shy and happy. He wasn't sure what to say without sounding stupid so he stayed silent, just running his fingers in Evan's hair.

Evan shyly turned his head toward Ienzo as he felt the man's hands in his hair and smiled. He slowly leaned forward and kissed him, his face going red again as he quickly looked away.

After getting to the lad Myde walked around slowly opening door till he found the room where Ienzo was in, when he opened the door to Ienzos room he saw him just being kissed by another man

"I-Ienzy!?...How could you!?" Myde shouted as he started to cry again, he wanted to run away or to attack the man Ienzo was with but he was just to shocked at what he was seeing

Larene looked in shock as she saw what happened when Myde found out about Ienzo and Evan's affair.
I need some fresh air... she thought, but then looked back at poor Myde crying and with a huff, she walked straight up to Ienzo and said softly, but harshly, 'Would you like it if Myde had kissed another guy in front of you? Or are you happy now that you have broken his heart?'

Ienzo looked up in shock to not only see Myde standing before him, but also Larene. "M-Myde?! Larene?! I..." He stuttered nervously, but began thinking to himself about what he had said in the cafe. "Well, I told Myde that I wasn't sure if I really loved him, it was all going too fast and I wasn't sure what I was feeling! I wanted to take it slow and just think of him as a friend for a while, but as soon as I told him that, he left without even saying a word to me!" Ienzo couldn't hold back the tears he had previously cried for Myde. "I thought Myde had left me for good! I had no idea that he would want me back! It's not like anyone would ever want to be with me forever anyway..."

Larene crossed her arms and began tutting a little, and muttered, 'He might have been in a bad mood, or something that he had to leave so soon'
She then unravelled her arms and revealed a Kleenex Tissue and handed it over to both Myde and Ienzo, and then looked back to Myde and asked, 'Myde, do you love Ienzo? And why did you leave Ienzo in the cafe?'

Taking a tissue Myde nodded
"Yes I love Ienzo, but when he told me he just wanted to be friend it really up set me and that why I left him at the cafe" Myde sobbed wiping his eyes

Evan saw the look Ienzo got when he saw Myde. It was the look he wished he would receive, one that said 'love' on it. "I think I should go…" He said as he slipped out of Ienzo's arms and ran out. He went into his own room and sat down at his desk, trying to take his mind off everything by working on his experiments, writing theories and hypotheses onto a notepad with his ice blue pen.

Larene then stopped crossing her arms and looking back at Ienzo, she said softly, understanding the situation, 'Ienzo, do you love Myde?'

"I... I already told you! Myde, I'm sorry if you can't accept me the way I am, but I can't continue pretending for you! I know you love me, but no matter what anyone tells me, no matter what I feel inside, I just can't believe until my mind understands! I don't exactly believe in things like 'love at first sight' because they have no logical explanation! I... need time..." Ienzo quieted down after his outburst, still crying. "Evan..." He whispered to himself, feeling even worse than before now that he had not only broken Myde's heart.

Myde lean ageists the wall behind him and sided to the floor
"Ienzo stop following your mind for once please, just this once follow you heart" Myde said holding his knees to his chest

Ienzo knew that Myde was the type to jump into things following only his heart, but he was offended that Myde could never accept his logical ways even though Ienzo had accepted his carefree ways. "You see, that's why you found me here with Evan! He can accept my mind and we think alike! Unlike you... you could NEVER accept me the way I am! You keep saying you love me, but that means you should love all of me, not just pick out certain things you like from the things you dislike!" Ienzo's mind was beginning to cloud, his emotions torn between love, hate, and regret.

"So that's why you're doing this, you think I don't love you for who you are?" Myde asked getting up with a bit of rage in his voice
"I love you Ienzo because of who you are, there is nothing I dislike about you...but if you can't see that then maybe loving you was the worst thing I have ever done in my life" Myde and with that ran out of the room but then stopped and started to cry again

"Maybe your right..." Ienzo whispered as Myde left. He knew that Evan was most likely saying the same thing about him, .that loving him was the worst thing he had done. Ienzo always believed he was flawed, therefore no one could ever love him... at least, not for long. Myde and Evan just helped to prove his painful theory.

Myde sat in the hallway crying, he was confused, upset and full of rage, all he wanted was to have Ienzo sit next to him and tell him he loved him

"IENZO!...I still love you!" Myde shouted even though it was Ienzo that made him feel like this

Evan looked at his papers once he realized how much time had gone by. He didn't know what he was writing this whole time but all that was there was 'Evan and Ienzo' scribbled over and over again. He couldn't get his friend out of his head. Upset by this he pushed away from his desk and laid on the bed. He didn't cry, no, instead he just lay there confused and dazed as he stared at the ceiling. Part of him wanted to storm back to that room and make Myde leave, while another hoped Ienzo and Myde would get back together.

Ienzo stopped crying, he was just sitting there now. He was too angry, guilty, confused, and tired to cry anymore. At that moment he almost felt it would be better to become a heartless like those he had been studying, they were able to hide in the darkness, simply uncaring shadows of hearts used to be. He felt so light-headed and dizzy, his thoughts swarmed into a mass of nothing. Ienzo considered overdosing on random chemicals before, suicide was always a bittersweet option of escape from a cruel, painful world.

Larene looked at Evan and Myde bitterly while Evan scribbled his and Ienzo's name on the table with a heart shape around it, and getting really annoyed, since Evan did not look even the slightest bit sad for Myde, she said, 'I don't believe this! Do you know what you are doing with Myde? Eh? You've hurt his feelings enough... but I can't stop love no matter what shape its in. You better be ashamed of yourselves... I can't take any more of this junk!' She stormed outside, feeling really peeved about how Evan behaved, and thought to herself, Oh he's gonna get boxed next time he doesn't listen to me... Poor Myde must be feeling suicidal because of two stupid lovebirds... Ienzo should have said earlier that he was in another relationship to Myde, maybe to stop all this drama happening...

She got her coat but before she could even get near the door she spotted Myde clenching his fists and sitting on the floor, and crouching down beside him, she said softly, 'Judging by your face you feel suicidal, but listen, before you start doing any of that crap, I just want to let you know that there are so many other guys in the world that you can get together with, you just have to find the perfect man if you want, so stop wasting your time on Ienzo for the moment, he's too busy in another relationship... There's more to life than love, that's something I've known for too long...' Seeing that Myde didn't budge, she just hugged him and before she left the house, she said, 'Probably with luck I can make a plan to make Ienzo yours again!' She then wrote on a post-it saying, 'Gone to the Library, be back in about 3 hours' Before she left she stopped and smiled at Myde before she opened the door and waltzed right outside.

Myde looked up at Larene still crying
"But I don't want anyone else I want Ienzo now leave me alone" Myde sobbed getting up and running away

Seeing as how Myde and Larene had finally left, it made the pressure on him a bit more bearable than before. Still, he couldn't help but to feel guilty for ruining everybody's lives that night. Larene was obviously pissed at him; Myde would most likely never forgive him or even trust him ever again, but Evan... Evan was his friend for years before he had every known anyone else, this upset him the most, knowing that he would probably lose his closet friend over something so simple, so stupid of him to do. Love wasn't an easy thing to understand, explain, or even control, so he couldn't exactly blame Evan, but he could definitely blame himself.

He found himself walking over to Evan's room, his eyes to the floor, unable to face his friend now. "Evan..." His voice was cracking; he was scared to approach him any further. "I'm sorry... I'm so stupid..." Ienzo was slightly numb inside, wishing so hard to be able to detach himself from emotion.

Larene looked up at the bookshelves in dismay, feeling anger, confusion and peeved, but whenever she picks a book from this sanctuary, she feels inner peace within herself and thought quietly, I was so stupid to even say something... I always screw up at everything and a tear dropped quietly, knowing that she had always been a reaper of ruining things, and silently continued reading.

She began wishing that she'd never stepped foot in others lives, and getting the yellow pages, her expression became more bubbly than depressed and began to look for other jobs so that she may find an apartment far away from the city or towns. The countryside cottage was always her dream house, and she always borrowed books mainly about people who got what they wished, and she closed her eyes silently and remembered what her older sister used to say to her...

Larene then felt the slightest bit tired and dozed off on the table, and began to sleep deeply on the library's couch on the very edge of the library walls, where nobody would lurk around and settled there. If they all hate me, then why did I even come there? I better leave that house before I cause another screw up...
She thought in her sleep, drooping her head off the table, I'll only come back for my dessert book and my locket. They wouldn't care, just like everyone else.. I've been abandoned too many times, so maybe its time I abandoned my all time dreams, and life itself... Its better in the world if everyone didn't keep on at arguments and conflicts and just get along all together, but this world is never going to change, so what's the point of living if everyone around you despises everyone?
When she thought about how Ashley kindly let her in and how everyone has been to her and sighing sleepily she thought, I hope that they are ok right now...

Evan heard Ienzo and felt a smile. He had come for him... "Ienzo...I'm sorry, for everything." He said, half confused about why he was apologizing. "I don't want you upset...I want to see that smile of yours everyday. So please...don't be sad, ok?"

Ienzo looked up; a bit confused himself about why Evan was apologizing when it was clearly his own fault. "But it's my fault every hates me now. I've made so many mistakes in just a few days because I couldn't think straight, and now I don't know how to correct those mistakes without causing more anger and sadness." Odd, after the fight he had just been through, he held a small bit of anger towards Myde, but when he came to talk to Evan, it felt like it had never happened. He still felt comfortable being able to talk to him like before.