Another Life
Chapter 3
Kurt spent the remainder of the weekend shut away in his room, trying to convince himself that he hadn't completely lost it.
Monday morning dawned, and he decided that his only option was to go about his daily routine.
He met Rachel as she was on her way out the door.
"Give me 5 minutes and we can go to school together," he told her with a soft smile. He knew he had freaked her out Saturday, and felt like he needed to make it up to her.
"But we don't go to school together."
Kurt was incredulous. "You don't go to NYADA?"
She laughed gently. "No, you don't go to NYADA."
He felt like someone had punched him.
"Madam Tibideaux wouldn't let you audition again. She thought your first audition was too 'predictable, boring, and safe.' Her words, not mine." She held her hands up defensively.
Something dawned on him. "Do you remember what song I sang for my audition?"
"You sang The Music of the Night."
Of course. If he hadn't known Blaine, he never could have encouraged him to take a risk and sing Not the Boy Next Door instead.
"So if I don't go to NYADA, I go to…"
"NYU. Undecided major. I'm worried about you, Kurt."
He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about me. Have a fun day at school."
He watched her leave, then sat down and dialed his dad's phone number. He had been avoiding making this call, but he hoped his dad would help point him in the right direction.
"Hello?" Burt Hummel answered.
"Hi dad."
"Hey kiddo. What's going on? Don't you have class this morning?"
Shit. Excuse, excuse… "I'm not feeling very well."
"Uh oh. Is everything okay?"
"Not really." He desperately wanted to tell someone what he was going through. He would have to settle for vague wording. "I lost...something very important to me."
"Hey, you'll figure it out, buddy. You always do."
Burt's words reassured Kurt, as they always did.
"How are you, dad? How is-"
Kurt stopped abruptly. He hadn't thought...In this crazy, parallel universe, had Burt met Carole? And could it-no! Was it possible that in this world where he had not ever met Blaine, the series of events leading up to Finn's death had been altered? Could Finn still be alive? His heart was trying to escape his rib cage.
"H-how is the family?" He tried tentatively.
"Oh, we're doing pretty great. Carole just started a new job, and I'm so proud of her, Kurt."
A sigh of relief. His dad was still happy and in love with Carole. Burt went on. "We went to visit Finn yesterday."
Kurt yelped and dropped the phone. He felt his pulse pounding in his ears as he scrambled to pick it back up.
"Sorry, sorry, what were you saying?" His voice was barely a whisper.
"We left flowers at his grave and told him how much you miss him."
Kurt exhaled. "Oh." It had been crazy to hope, but still.
"Look, I know this time of year is hard for you. So close to the anniversary of his death. You just haven't been the same since. It has been hard on us all, but you grieved alone there in New York. I can't imagine what that must have been like. I still really think you should see someone about it."
He had stayed alone in New York when Finn died? He couldn't imagine it either. A memory came flooding back to him.
Suffocation. That's never what he imagined grieving would feel like. But here he was, the day after Finn's death, feeling like he was suffocating. The phone calls. The texts. The visitors. The funeral plans. It was all just too much. His dad and Carole hovered around in whatever room he was in, as if letting him out of their sight would make something happen to him, too. He kept trying to take deep breaths, but he didn't ever seem to be able to pull enough air into his lungs to be satisfied. He had the sudden urge to get out. And he knew exactly where he wanted to be: With Blaine.
The only problem was that he and Blaine were in a sort of weird limbo between their breakup and being back together. He had heard from Blaine once shortly after they found out the news. A text reading: "Devastated. Call me if you need ANYTHING. Love you. XO"
The ball was in Kurt's court. And he wanted to make a play.
An hour later, Kurt walked through the Andersons' front door. Blaine had mentioned that his parents were out for the night, and Kurt should let himself in.
"Up here!" Blaine called from his room. Kurt ran up the stairs, suddenly very anxious to see Blaine.
He walked in to Blaine's room and stopped in his tracks.
The Wicked soundtrack playing throughout the room. The sound of water running in the bathroom. The smell of lemon and ginger. A pile of vintage Vogue magazines on the bed. And Blaine setting out materials on the vanity.
"Blaine," Blaine turned around, smiling at the sight of Kurt standing in his doorway. "What is all of this?"
Blaine shrugged, a slight blush spreading across his face. "We start with facials, followed by a bubble bath. Then I thought we could end the night drinking your favorite tea and that caramel corn you love while we watch Moulin Rouge."
"I don't understand," Kurt's brow furrowed.
Blaine explained simply, "Those are all of the things that make you happy."
Understanding, Kurt felt love surge through his veins, and overwhelming emotion overtook him. He collapsed into Blaine's arms in tears. "And you," he whispered.
Blaine sniffed - he was a sympathy crier. "What?" He asked Kurt, squeezing him tightly.
Kurt held on as if his life depended on it. "And you. You make me happy." He could finally breathe.
"Kurt! Kurt! Are you still there?" Burt asked.
"I'm here. I think I'm going to go lay down."
"Okay, kiddo. I'll talk to you soon."
"Love you, dad."
"Love you too."
That evening, Rachel peeked her head into Kurt's bedroom.
"Everything all right? I'm going out with Sam, Artie, Brittany, and Tina."
"You are? And you didn't invite me?" He held his hand to his heart, pretending to be offended.
Rachel looked stunned. "I'm sorry. You never go out with us, so I just assumed…"
I don't? Kurt thought to himself. "I'd love to join you." He could see Rachel try to wipe the surprise off of her face.
He jumped up and searched for what he thought would be the perfect outfit, but couldn't find it.
"Rach, have you seen my turquoise paisley jacket?"
She laughed. "Funny, Kurt. You would never wear anything that bold!"
Kurt frowned, and looked through the multitude of dark, plain clothes in his closet. It was quickly becoming clear to him that he was very out of touch with alternate reality Kurt.
He ended up deciding on an outfit, and 30 minutes later, he found himself and Rachel walking up to an unfamiliar dueling piano bar.
Kurt breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his friends sitting around a booth. It was comforting, to know that they were still there for him when everything else was flipped on its head.
He was determined not to let any of them see that something crazy was going on with him - he had freaked Rachel out enough as it was. So he swallowed a gasp when Brittany kissed Artie, held his tongue when Tina talked about how she hadn't gotten into Brown, and hid his shock and sadness when Sam talked about how he was just visiting town and had never pursued his modeling dream. But he was unable to hold in his horror when Brittany announced "Guess what? Santana is pregnant."
His body involuntarily jumped up from his seat and he slammed his hands down on the table, causing the glasses to rattle. "WHAT?!"
Five sets of wide eyes turned to look at him.
He sat back down quickly and tried to cover. "Sorry. Something I saw on the TV just now…" He mumbled.
A second of silence passed before Tina spoke up.
"She's really pregnant, Brittany?"
"With whose baby?" Kurt asked, mind still reeling.
"Very funny, Kurt. Her husband's, of course."
"Maybe a baby will soften her ice cold heart," Artie offered.
"Yeah," Brittany responded. "She and Karofsky are so excited about it."
Oh God. Kurt's head spun. He needed to get some fresh air.
He excused himself, ignoring the weird looks he attracted from his friends, and went to stand out in front of the building.
Once outside, he took a few slow breaths, trying to make sense of it all. Santana was married to Karofsky. She must not have ever come out, and she and Karofsky continued their sham of a relationship into marriage. Could his and Blaine's relationship have inspired Santana to come out and start dating Brittany? This was all such a mess. He wanted so badly for things to go back to normal.
The door opened and he turned around to see Brittany coming to join him.
"Hey, alternate universe Kurt." She said with a knowing smile.
"Ummm...what?" He laughed nervously.
She put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't think I can't tell. I'm a genius, remember? I'm studying the mathematics behind parallel universes right now."
"How convenient. Sit down." He patted the curb next to him. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off of him. However weird this scenario with Brittany was, he had someone he could talk to about what was happening.
"Alternate universe Kurt looks sad. What did alternate universe Kurt leave behind?"
"Everything," Kurt lamented.
"What's different about this world?" She urged.
"As far as I can tell, the difference is that I never met Blaine."
"Who is Blaine?"
"He is my heart and my soul. The greatest person I know. And I don't know him in this life." His voice caught.
"Everything will be all right. I have a feeling you will find him," she squeezed his arm. She jerked her head up toward a sign on the front of the building.
Kurt's breath caught in his throat. The poster advertised for Thursday night's show. Musical guest Blaine Anderson.
"That's him, isn't it?" Brittany grinned. Kurt nodded, unable to believe his luck. He knew where he would be Thursday evening.
"I don't think it's a coincidence," she said, reading his mind. "So...what is Alternate Universe Brittany like? Still a genius?"
He chuckled. "Yes. She's great. Happy." Kurt wrapped an arm around Brittany's shoulders. "She's dating Santana."
Brittany sighed. "It sounds like a great world."
"You have no idea."
Later that night, Kurt shrugged out of his sweater and climbed into bed. Why was everything so fucked up? That was the lesson, wasn't it? That without Blaine in his life, everything else went to shit. He grabbed the pillow next to him and pressed it to his face, muffling a scream. Blaine's pillow. He breathed in the scent of the fabric, but only smelled his own detergent. Frustrated, he threw the pillow to the ground. It may have only been a couple of days, but he missed Blaine so intensely. His body ached for its companion. They hadn't gone a night without each other since Blaine had moved out to New York with him. He thought back to their first night together in the loft.
Blaine grinned at the "Welcome Home" banner strung across Kurt's - correction - their room.
"It does feel like home, now that we're together, doesn't it?"
Kurt intertwined his fingers with Blaine's and led him to the bed. "I'm so glad you're finally here. It feels like my life is just beginning."
Blaine's eyes flared with love and lust. Their lips met, moving against each other slowly, savoring every moment. Blaine ran his top teeth along Kurt's bottom lip, causing Kurt to groan and arch his back. No matter how much of Blaine he had, he could never have enough.
Blaine pushed Kurt backward so he was sitting up against the headboard, and straddled his waist. Their hard-ons strained against one another desperately.
"Why are you still wearing clothes?" Kurt muttered into Blaine's mouth. Blaine lifted his arms, and Kurt reached up, pulling the shirt over his head. The view of his shirtless fiancé was enough to make his cock throb. He couldn't wait a second longer to feel Blaine's skin against his own. Moments later, the rest of the clothing separating the boys had vanished.
Kurt's hungry mouth found Blaine's collarbone - his weakness. His tongue teased along the length of his chest, finally resting just below Blaine's neck and sucking the sensitive skin there. Blaine had thrown his head back and was emitting tiny whines, grinding his hips down into Kurt.
Kurt's hands roamed over Blaine's defined back.
"You are so sexy," he whispered as he found Blaine's mouth again.
"You think I'm sexy now?" Blaine responded, causing Kurt to shiver with anticipation.
Blaine planted kisses from Kurt's mouth, down his neck, to his torso, and finally down to the spot Kurt longed for him to find.
"Oh hell," Kurt's hands flew to tangle in Blaine's hair. He was right - nothing was sexier than watching Blaine go down on him. Blaine let out a hum of pleasure when Kurt tugged a handful of his hair and then pushed his head back down. He loved watching Kurt lose himself to his primal instincts like this.
Blaine felt Kurt's thigh pushing against his bicep, and instantly understood what he wanted. He spread Kurt's legs wide and lifted his head to look straight into Kurt's eyes, which were squinted in frustration at the lack of Blaine's mouth on his cock.
Blaine raised his finger to his mouth and sucked, before lowering it to Kurt's hole. He teased the opening slowly, making Kurt squirm.
"Now, Blaine," Kurt demanded.
All at once, Blaine closed his mouth again around his cock, and inserted his finger into Kurt.
"Shit. Fuck!" Kurt was only half aware of Blaine grinning against his dick. He knew that one of the things that turned him on beyond belief was Kurt's was his dirty mouth in the bedroom.
Blaine slowly introduced a second finger, then a third. Kurt didn't protest - he only ground down into Blaine.
"No...Blaine...you have to - mmmm - stop. Get inside me. Now."
Without hesitation, Blaine pulled off Kurt and sat back on his heels.
"Turn around and hold the headboard." Commanded Blaine.
Kurt obeyed immediately, kneeling with his ass in the air and bracing himself. He heard Blaine spreading lube on himself before he felt him come up from behind and grab his hips.
The two murmured each other's names simultaneously as Blaine entered Kurt.
"Mmm, God, Kurt. You feel so good." Blaine stilled and waited for Kurt's signal to keep going. Kurt bit his lip as he adjusted to Blaine's size. He pulled his hips forward slightly to tell Blaine to start moving.
"Oh...fuck...me…" Kurt moaned.
"As you wish," Blaine leaned forward and wrapped one arm around Kurt's waist, the other grabbing his cock. His strokes matched his thrusts, and he was placing kisses against Kurt's back. Kurt was hardly able to hold himself together.
"Oh my God. Oh. My. God!" He felt himself tightening, and knew he wouldn't last much longer. "I'm so..." He panted. The muscles in his arms and shoulders tensed as he gripped the headboard with all of his strength, letting his head dip.
"I know, baby," Blaine told him. "Me too. You're so fucking hot like this."
The words put Kurt over the edge. He yelled out as he came, Blaine following seconds later with a cry. He continued to place fleeting kisses on Kurt's back, which was now glistening with sweat. Kurt managed to peel his fingers off of the headboard, dying to get his hands on Blaine.
Grabbing a towel from the nightstand, Blaine gingerly pulled out, and the two collapsed onto the bed. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and looked into his eyes.
"Are you okay? Was that too-?" Blaine began.
Kurt silenced him with a quick kiss. "More than okay. You make me feel like a sex addict," He said. "I wish I could do this every minute of every day for the rest of forever."
Blaine laughed. "Lucky for you, starting today, you have me every day for the rest of forever."
Kurt sighed, instinctively reaching out to Blaine's side of the bed. When he found nothing there, he pulled his knees to his chest, closed his eyes, and tried to do anything he could to ignore the emptiness and loneliness in his chest.