Another Life

Chapter 4

Each morning, Kurt woke up hopeful. His eyes flew open and he searched his room for any difference, any indication that things had changed back. And each morning, he woke up alone and disappointed.

It felt almost robotic, the way he went through the motions: getting dressed, doing his hair (he couldn't bear the way this Kurt had apparently been wearing it), sitting through awfully boring prerequisite classes for his undetermined major (he decided that when things switched back, other Kurt would not be very happy if he had been kicked out of NYU for not attending classes), pretending to enjoy Rachel's exceptionally mediocre cooking (which he hadn't had to do in quite a while since Blaine usually cooked for them), and trying to keep his mind busy during his down time.

On the sixth day of his new life, Kurt's sense of excitement nearly drowned out his disappointment at waking up alone again. Today was Thursday. Today he would see Blaine.

He was jittery with anticipation. The coffee aimed for his favorite I Love NYC mug (a gift from his dad after his first visit to New York) nearly splattered all over the counter. He breathed deeply and attempted to steady his shaking hands. He had no idea what he would say to Blaine - after all, what do you say to someone who doesn't have the slightest clue who you are but is your soulmate in another life?

The sound of a throat clearing startled him, causing him to actually spill the coffee over the counter this time.

He spluttered, flustered. "Rachel! What are you still doing here? I thought you had early classes on Thursdays?"

"Good morning, Kurt. I think it's time you and I have a little talk." Kurt mopped up the spilled liquid without removing his eyes from her. He hadn't noticed at first glance, but she sat on the couch, back straight, ankles crossed, and next to her was a posterboard that read "INTERVENTION."

Kurt internally rolled his eyes and approached her. This just screamed Rachel.

"This is an intervention," she announced proudly.

"I can see that," he shifted his gaze pointedly to the poster she had made. "Also, can you even do an intervention with one person?"

"Yes, well, our other friends blew me off and told me I was crazy."

They have a point, he thought.

"Anyway, I am here today because I love you and I care about you and I want you to get the help you need."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Please, Kurt."

Inhale strength. Exhale insanity. He appeased her. "Help with what?"

"Your depression," Rachel said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Oh shit. "I'm not depressed, Rachel."

"They always get defensive during an intervention," she muttered under her breath. Then louder, "There's no need for denial, Kurt. I'm your best friend. You can be open and honest with me. I've watched you over the past week. You're acting erratically. You spend a lot of time in bed. You hardly make it to your classes. You're not you. What's going on?" She probed.

"I don't think you're ready for open and honest. Just let it go. I'll be fine." He started to turn away, but she caught his forearm in her small hand.

"Please tell me," she begged. "You can trust me." The pleading look in her eyes was what got him. It was the look she wore any time she was hurting, or watching a friend hurt. It was the look she wore when she begged him to let her curl up in bed with him after Finn died so that neither of them would have to be alone.

He perched himself next to her on the couch. "Fine. But you're going to think I've lost it."

"I already think that."

He told her everything. He told her about the wish, about Blaine, about his old life. To his surprise, she listened to him talk without opening her mouth once.

"...So that's why I've been acting differently," he concluded.

Rachel forced her widened eyes to blink. "I-I don't even kn-know where to start. So many questions."

"Pick one," he steeled himself.

She obviously couldn't. "How could you wish something like that? What are you going to do? What are you going to say-"

His sharp laugh cut her off. He was amazed that she seemed to believe him. Then he slumped back against the couch.

"I honestly couldn't even tell you what I was thinking. I was just so secretly afraid that I was holding myself back because of this relationship. Now I realize that's bullshit. Hindsight and all…"

"So what will you do when you see him?"

Kurt sighed. "I have no clue. Every scenario I can think of involves me seriously creeping him out. I think...I think that I need to start by just seeing him. If he's happy, maybe there's no point." He frowned at this realization.

"Don't say that. If you're meant to be together in one world, how could you be meant to be apart in another?"

"I don't know. I can't picture a life in which Blaine is happy without me, and I'm happy without him. I mean, look at the Kurt you know! He might not realize how miserable he is, but there is so much he's missing! God, this sounds so pathetic. Like I need a man to be happy. But it's not just any man, it's the man. It's Blaine. And we make each other better. At least, now I'm positive that he makes me better."

Fuck. He'd never considered that the roles could be reversed. He'd never thought that maybe he was the one holding Blaine back. Blaine had always asserted that he belonged with Kurt. There was no way Kurt could be keeping him from his potential, right? He felt sick again.

Rachel rubbed his back in consolation. "There's no way to know until you see him. But from what you've told me, there's no doubt in my mind that your Blaine feels the same way about you. Listen," she took one of his hands into both of hers. "The Kurt I know wouldn't let this throw him. It sounds like that Kurt and you are very similar in that respect. He's very much like you at the core, you know. More than you realize. Life has just beaten him down over and over, and he's sick of forcing himself back up. You're much more vibrant and full of life. It's truly beautiful. I'm going to miss it when you go."

"If I have anything to say about it, I'll make sure this Kurt gets his happily ever after too."

A few moments passed without either of them talking.

"I can't believe Kurt 2.0 is engaged. You know I'm a sucker for a good proposal story. Tell me all about the proposal!"

So he did. He told her all about the breakup and their tentative relationship, and how though Kurt hadn't been surprised that Blaine was proposing, he was awestruck by the proposal itself. He recalled the masses of show choir singers lining the halls of Dalton Academy, coming together to create the perfect moment, and the earth-shattering speech Blaine gave him. He told her how when it was over, there was no doubt left in his mind that "Yes" was the right answer.

What he didn't tell her was how after, Blaine had slipped him a piece of paper with an address on it and whispered that he would meet up with Kurt in an hour. How Burt had driven him to the hotel that Blaine had reserved for them and told Kurt (with a wink) not to do anything he wouldn't do. How Kurt scrambled around to make everything perfect before Blaine arrived an hour later.

Kurt stood nervously as he listened to the click of the key card in the door. He was now second guessing his move to surprise Blaine like this. What if it wasn't what he wanted at all? But his nerves melted away the second he saw Blaine's gorgeous face light up with surprise and excitement. Without missing a beat, Blaine crossed the room and threw himself into Kurt's arms. Kurt let his eyes drift shut. He breathed in Blaine's clean, soapy scent.

"What is all this?" Blaine spoke, referring to the rose petals, chocolate covered strawberries, and champagne in the room.

"I convinced the staff to give us the honeymoon package," Kurt smirked. "You always make such grand romantic gestures, and I wanted to return the favor."

Blaine finally pulled away and sat on the bed, dragging Kurt down next to him.

"You know I don't expect anything…"

Kurt nodded. A moment passed as they looked into each other's loving eyes without speaking.

Blaine broke the silence with his hesitant voice. "I half-thought you were going to say no to my proposal."

"I half-thought I would, too," Kurt admitted.

"What swayed your decision?" the way that Blaine was looking at him was so intense that he nearly shuddered.

"You did. You always do."

Blaine leaned forward to capture his lips in a tender kiss. "I love you so much, Kurt."

"I am constantly blown away by the depth of my feelings for you. I can't imagine being engaged-" he jumped excitedly at the word, "-to anyone else. I am so looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you."

Blaine attempted to kiss him again, but he held onto his shoulders and kept him at arm's length.

"Thank you for your unwavering faith in us. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for everything you are and everything you make me." He glanced at his left hand. "You gave me this beautiful ring to symbolize our love and commitment. To me, it means that my heart, body, and soul belong to you exclusively." His hand left Blaine's shoulder to dig around in his pocket. "If you'll accept it, I would like you to wear this so that you have a tangible representation of our love." He held out a thick, brushed silver band outlined by two thin strips of shining gold.

Blaine's hand flew to cover his heart. "You didn't have to...how long have you had this?"

"Since shortly after I met you, actually." He ignored Blaine's gasp. "My dad must have seen something in the way I talked about you and gave it to me when he realized I'd met the love of my life. It's the ring my mom gave him on their wedding day. I intended to save it for our wedding, but this ring feels so insanely good on me, and I want you to have one too." He stopped, noticing the dumbfounded look on Blaine's face. He shyly pulled his hand back toward his lap, feeling a blush creep across his chest and neck. Maybe Blaine didn't want it after all. "You don't have to wear it now if you don't want to-" Blaine made a grab for the ring and slid it on his left fourth finger in one fluid motion. Suddenly, he was tackling Kurt onto his back and covering his face in kisses. Kurt felt hot tears dropping onto his forehead.

"This means so much to me, Kurt, I can't even begin to put it into words. I promise I will do everything in my power to honor Elizabeth Hummel by being the best husband I can possibly be."

His words choked up Kurt too. "I know you will. Why do you think I said yes?"

The loving looks they exchanged spoke louder than words, but another emotion was coming to the surface. Wanting.

"Come on. Let's go try out that jacuzzi tub in the bathroom."

They popped the bottle of champagne and brought glasses with them as they sank into the warm water. It wasn't long before the glasses of champagne were forgotten, though, and Kurt climbed into Blaine's lap, straddling his trim waist.

Their kisses were slow and methodical, tongues tasting every last inch of each other. When it came to each other's bodies, the two men were never sated. And though they had just promised each other forever, they couldn't imagine wanting each other and loving each other more than they did in that moment.

Blaine's nails scratched lightly at Kurt's scalp. Kurt's arms wrapped around Blaine's neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Their bodies pressed together without a millimeter separating any part of them. Kurt ran his fingers along the skin near Blaine's collarbone, eliciting a low growl from deep within Blaine. In return, Blaine kissed down Kurt's neck, sucking lightly at his pulse point, causing him to moan in pleasure. Kurt was grinding down into him now, their hard-ons growing along with their desire.

Blaine's finger traveled down Kurt's back and found his opening. Kurt yelped at the contact. His hole was suddenly full, and he opened to accommodate the welcome intrusion. He lived for the feeling he experienced when Blaine brushed over his most sensitive spot. Kurt rocked into Blaine's hand over and over, whispering little "fucks" every time.

"I want to make love to you," Kurt whispered unevenly.

Blaine nodded, removed his fingers from Kurt, and tried to move from under him, misunderstanding.

"No," Kurt pushed him back down. Blaine's eyes searched his questioningly. He would do anything Kurt asked him to do without hesitation. But he was going to need him to be a little more specific. "I don't want you to bottom. But I want to make love to you," Kurt explained, positioning himself over Blaine's cock, and pressing down lightly.

"Oh!" Blaine realized Kurt wanted to ride him. "Oh. Shit. Oh god. Okay." He swallowed hard. This had only happened in his fantasies so far.

Kurt smiled before reclaiming Blaine's lips. Blaine's fingers were gripping his hips so hard he might have bruises tomorrow, but he couldn't care less. He pushed down gently onto Blaine's cock, and took in a sharp breath. He rested his forehead against Blaine's, staring deeply into his eyes. He couldn't imagine ever trusting another soul enough to let down all his guards like this and hand himself completely over to his instincts. If anything was certain, it was that Blaine was it for him.

He began moving slowly. Blaine watched him, totally enthralled.

"Jesus, Kurt, I won't last long," he groaned. "That's so good…"

Kurt maintained his slow pace, savoring every second, and memorizing the feel of Blaine inside of him. Being in control was definitely a turn-on. Blaine was meeting each of his downward motions with a thrust of his own.

Kurt felt it building inside of him. "I love you m-more than - ah! - anything," he said hoarsely.

Blaine's frantic pants met his ears. "I'm-oh my god-"

Kurt thrust harder, forcing Blaine's cock to brush against him in that spot, which sent him spiraling out of control. He came into the water.

"I love you Kurt!" Blaine yelled, thrusting once more, and coming hard.

Blaine pulled Kurt down on top of him without pulling out. Their hearts pounded against one another as their breathing slowed. When he could finally move again, Blaine brushed damp hair out of Kurt's eyes. "You are everything I'll ever need."

When Kurt and Rachel arrived to the piano bar, Blaine was already playing.

Kurt's heart stuttered when he saw the beautiful man singing along to an acoustic version of Super Bass. Top 40. Classic Blaine. He felt a pull originating from somewhere in his chest that seemed to be leading him directly toward Blaine. Rachel trailed along behind him as he steered them to one of the tables closest to the piano and sat down with an enraptured look on his face. Where they were seated, if Blaine looked up from his piano, his eyes would land on Kurt and Rachel.

Blaine looked amazing. Different, but still amazing. He wore a dark gray v-neck t-shirt under a light gray unbuttoned cardigan that was pushed halfway up his forearms. His dark curls were loose and wild beneath a light gray knit beanie, and he sported large, thick-framed glasses.

Lord help me, Kurt thought. Hipster Blaine. Helloooo, new fantasy.

He couldn't tear his eyes away. The first time Blaine looked up, his eyes widened slightly in surprise at Kurt's gaze on him. He gave a small smile, then looked back down.

The second time Blaine looked up, his eyes lingered for a few seconds longer. Kurt could feel Blaine's studying his face. He blushed slightly, and felt a little jumpy. What if this Blaine didn't like the way he looked? Blaine gave him a quick wink, assuring him otherwise.

"It's no wonder you like him," Rachel said. "He's cute!"

"He's so damn sexy," Kurt muttered quietly. He took a sip of his virgin Bloody Mary and forced his gaze to shift to Rachel.

"Kurt!" Rachel sounded scandalized.

Kurt shrugged. "He's my fiance."

"No, he's not."

Kurt turned his attention back to the pianist. How strange this feeling was, to watch the one person who he knew better than anyone and realize he didn't know the first thing about him. He couldn't wrap his mind around how he knew every intricacy of Blaine's life and personality, yet this person in front of him had no clue who he was. More than ever, he longed to go back home to his real life. Since he apparently had no control over that, though, he resigned himself to living in the moment. Maybe it was possible for him to connect with this Blaine, after all.

"Thank you all for coming out tonight. I hope you're enjoying the show!" The audience cheered heartily. "I'm surprising myself by playing this next song, since I don't even like Katy Perry. But I'm feeling a compulsion to play it tonight." He cleared his throat.

As he tapped out the first few notes of the all-too-familiar song, Kurt made an awkward squeak, and leaned forward in his seat, mesmerized by the musician in front of him. He knew he was being a little aggressive with his stares, but he couldn't help it. This song had been with them through so much. It was only natural it would find them here too.

Blaine looked up for the third time, eyes finding Kurt's effortlessly. This time, he didn't look away. Kurt blushed at how intimate it felt, being sung to in a room full of strangers. it seemed as though Blaine's soul was speaking directly to his. He had watched Blaine play and sing hundreds of times before, but this felt like it was the first time again.

It is for him, he reminded himself. It wasn't the only time since he'd found himself in this predicament that he'd had to remind himself that Blaine didn't know him. It was taking all of the strength he had to physically restrain himself from running up to the piano and engulfing Blaine in his arms.

Blaine's voice smoothly skated over the notes of the final bridge, sending chills down Kurt's spine. He couldn't help but to think that this was the same Blaine he knew and loved. At the same time, it all felt new and exciting. He couldn't wait to talk to Blaine when his set was over. He still had no idea what he would say, but he was now sure that it would be as easy as it always was between them.

Blaine played through the rest of his songs with an increasing sense of urgency. Kurt wondered if he was as anxious to connect as he was. Finally, Blaine stood from his bench and spoke to the audience.

"You all have been such an amazing crowd for the past year, which makes it very difficult for me to announce that next Thursday will be my last night playing here." The audience's reaction was not disappointing. It was clear that Blaine had loyal fans here who had grown to love watching him play. "But...I've just been offered a role in a new film. I got my big break! I can't tell you what movie it is, but let's just say it'll be filming right here in New York City!"

Before he fully realized what was happening, Kurt's chest constricted, and he struggled to breathe evenly. He was finding it hard to concentrate on a single thought. He's happy, he kept thinking. He's successful. He's better off.

This is what he wanted, isn't it? All he ever wanted was for Blaine to be happy.

Rachel's hand was on his arm. "We agreed. You said you'd leave it alone if he was happy."

Kurt nodded woodenly. He couldn't believe he had let himself hope again, only to have it crushed. Again. Rachel hugged him consolingly.

The fourth time Blaine looked up, the man he was searching for was gone.