Another Life

Chapter 5

Blaine had always been a star. The biggest. The brightest. This version of him, sans Kurt, just seemed to be a little bigger and a little brighter.

The morning after seeing Blaine play, Kurt couldn't stop pacing his room. He didn't think he had ever paced so much in his life. Agonizing thoughts chased each other around in his head.

He was the one who needed Blaine. Blaine had never needed him. He was holding Blaine back from his destiny. This Blaine was better off without ever meeting Kurt. He would keep it that way.

But...

But.

Was his Blaine better off without him too? Now that he had seen what Blaine could be (a locally loved singer/pianist and budding movie star), he wasn't sure he could go back to watching Blaine not live up to it.

His heart was tearing slowly inside his chest. Even entertaining the thought of leaving Blaine caused unbearable pain.

For the first time, he actually wished he had classes to go to to take his mind off of things.

Sighing, he flopped down on his stomach on the couch and cracked the lid of his laptop.

His finger hovered over the "B" key. He remembered what happened the last time he searched for Blaine on Facebook. He hadn't even gotten past his cover photo before having to stop.

Sebastian. He wondered how Sebastian played into this Blaine's life. He hadn't seen him at the bar last night, but he and Blaine looked to happy together in the picture. It was possible that they were just good friends, he supposed. After all, if it hadn't been for Kurt and the unfortunate rock salt slushie incident, Blaine and Sebastian might be friends in his regular life.

His fingers finished typing out "Blaine Anderson" and he was suddenly cringing at the picture in question. He scrolled further down the page. Most of the posts were people sending their congratulations on being cast in the movie, but a few were pictures that Blaine was tagged in. In almost all of the pictures, Blaine had his arm around a different guy. Kurt could only think of one word that described Blaine as he was portrayed on his Facebook page. Douchebag. And Kurt did not like using words that perpetuated gender stereotypes, but there was no other way to describe how he came across.

One picture wasn't like the others, and this is what caught Kurt's attention. The picture showed Blaine kneeling down in front of a little girl who looked to be about 4 years old. He was holding out his guitar and letting her strum the strings. She had a look of wonderment on her face, and he beamed at her, all inhibitions and walls gone. The caption was written by the little girl's father, thanking Blaine for taking the time out of his day to talk to his daughter after she had seen him perform in the park.

This was the Blaine he knew. There may have been Sebastian, and big breaks, and multiple different men, and overall douchiness, but it was beyond comforting to see Blaine as Kurt knew him.

He was jerked from his research by a knock on the door. He glanced at the oversized, industrial clock on the wall. Tina and Artie were supposed to come over at 12 to work on a new film of Artie's, but it was only 11:15. It was just like Tina to be obscenely early.

"Come in, Tina!" He called.

When she didn't come in, he hauled himself off the couch heavily and went to let her in.

"Didn't you hear me?" He said, opening the door. "I said come in."

"Okay." Someone who was definitely NOT Tina spoke. Blaine Anderson was pushing past him to enter his apartment. Blaine Anderson was strutting through his loft. Blaine Anderson was making himself comfortable on a barstool while he was still standing dumbly in the doorway.

"Huuuuuuuuh...what are you doing here?" Kurt asked when he began regaining control of his brain. He slid the door closed again and walked cautiously toward the island.

Blaine's cocky smile froze in place. He seemed to be warring internally. Kurt softened his own face in hopes that he looked unintimidating. Blaine seemed to find comfort in Kurt's look, his eyes softening a bit too. "I came to see you," Blaine said quietly. The cool facade completely dissolved and a shy smile replaced the cocky one. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Yesterday was kind of…"

"Magical," Kurt finished, stepping closer. Blaine rewarded him with a dazzling grin. Kurt spoke again, still barely coherent. "Um...how did you find me?"

He immediately regretted asking that question. The coolness returned to Blaine as he threw up his guard again. "I recognized the girl you were with yesterday from glee club and happen to know someone who knew her in high school. No big deal" He waved a hand nonchalantly.

Kurt's eyes were bugging out of his head. "It sure sounds like you put a lot of effort into finding me." Stupid, stupid, stupid! He berated himself for saying all the wrong things.

Blaine backed away slightly, heat rising in his face, but kept his cool. He twirled a ring around his finger absently. "I thought it might be worth it." He looked up and Kurt thought he saw a flicker of fear in Blaine's eyes. "Is it worth it?"

Kurt gulped, taking another step forward so that he was almost standing between Blaine's knees. He nodded.

"I'm Blaine," he announced in a rough voice. He held out his hand. Kurt took it and felt the familiar tingle of Blaine's touch. He wondered if the other man could feel it too.

"Kurt."

"Kurt. Who are you?" It was almost a whisper. Kurt was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question, but before he could consider it any longer, Blaine reached out and grabbed the ends of the scarf that was tied around his neck. Kurt let his eyes dart up toward the sky and thanked the fates that he had purchased new scarves for other Kurt's collection.

Blaine pulled him forward until his perfect face was unbearably close. Kurt could see the vein at his temple pulsing. He swallowed dryly in anticipation.

Soft, cool lips pressed against Kurt's, and it was as if a thousand pounds of tension had been lifted. He realized that for all intents and purposes, this was their first kiss. He wondered what it was like for Blaine. He wondered if Blaine also felt like he was walking on air, if he, too, felt like he was meant to be there, kissing him.

Blaine's tongue prodded at Kurt's mouth, begging entry, which Kurt allowed instantly. Their tongues swirled together in a flurry of excitement. Kurt rested his hand on Blaine's neck and jaw, rubbing his thumb over the spot behind Blaine's ear that never failed to make him purr. And purr he did. He walked his fingers down Kurt's chest and began to undo the buttons at the top of his shirt, breathing heavily into Kurt's mouth all the while.

Kurt's skin burned where Blaine touched him, leaving him wanting more and more. He pulled Blaine's v-neck henley off hurriedly, hand wandering to his collarbone.

As Kurt lightly brushed along the line he knew drove Blaine crazy, he heard the other man's breathing hitch. He lowered his lips to the place he had been caressing, sucking lightly at the sensitive skin there.

Blaine's hands clenched fistfuls of Kurt's hair.

"Ah! How...how did you know?" A hand trailed down Kurt's neck and landed to rest on his bare, porcelain chest. The cold metal of a ring shocked Kurt, and he looked down.

Time stopped for a moment. It was the ring. His father's ring. The missing link to his real life that he had been searching for. His hand grasped Blaine's wrist and held up his hand in front of his face.

"Where did you get this?"

Blaine looked shocked, probably caught off guard by the abrupt change of direction.

"A pawn shop in Ohio." He reached forward in an attempt to resume the kiss, but Kurt pulled away. His head was clear now, and he realized how crazy this all was.

"Come on," Blaine stretched his hand toward the button on Kurt's jeans.

"I'm sorry, Blaine, I can't." He bit his lip. A quick flash of rejection, then Blaine pulled back and stood up. It was clear that being asked to stop was not something that happened often. His instinct to protect Blaine's feelings kicked in.

"It's just...we just met?" Kurt phrased it like a question, because it was such a strange thing to say to someone he had known for years.

"It's all right. I have somewhere to be anyway." Blaine lazily shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Please stay."

"I shouldn't."

"Then let's go get lunch."

"I said I have somewhere to be," Blaine sounded annoyed.

"Okay," Kurt sighed, resigned. "It was great to see you."

Blaine laughed and gave him one last conflicted look before walking out the door, as unexpectedly as he had entered.

"So he just left?!" Rachel shrieked.

"Ugh, cool it a little, would you? My shattered eardrum is still recovering from the last time you used that tone! Yes, he just left. One second, I was contemplating if I should break up with my Blaine, then the next, new Blaine was bursting through our door. Before I knew it, we were having the most inspired make-out session, and then, yes. He just left." Kurt massaged his temples. This roller coaster ride was giving him a headache.

"However much he blew it off, he put in the effort to find you. You had such an intense connection. Maybe it just scares him."

"That's exactly what I'm thinking. He's hiding behind hookups so he doesn't have to face his feelings."

"Well, then there's only one thing for you to do."

"What's that?"

"It's your turn to go find him."

Luckily, Kurt had seen on Blaine's Facebook page that he was going to be playing a gig at a local coffee shop the next evening. He'd had a late class that night, but showed up just as the set was over and Blaine was standing to sling his guitar over his shoulder and thank everyone. He locked eyes with Kurt the second he walked in the door, but then averted his gaze and didn't look back at him again.

Kurt sighed. Maybe this wouldn't be as simple as he had originally thought.

Blaine walked toward the back, Kurt following close behind.

"Blaine!" he called, clearly within earshot, but the man he was in pursuit of did not acknowledge him.

Blaine disappeared through the back door. Kurt intended to follow, but a tall figure blocked the way.

Sebastian.

"Hi there. Aren't you a pretty thing? A little feminine for my taste, but yummy just the same."

Kurt ignored him. "I need to speak with Blaine."

Sebastian smirked. "Oh, it makes sense now. You're totally his type. Let me guess. You hooked up with him and now you want to see him again."

Kurt's unwanted blush gave him away. "That's none of your business."

"I'm his best friend. It's all my business. That's it, isn't it? Well, sorry to burst your pretty little bubble, but Blaine never fucks the same person twice. You can leave now."

Kurt felt horrified, then angry. He threw his hands up in aggravation. "How can every version of you be so infuriating? Get out of my way" He pushed Sebastian out of the way and opened the back door.

Blaine was leaning against the wall of the neighboring building with his arm around a tall, thin man who had his face buried in Blaine's neck, kissing him.

"Blaine." When he saw Kurt, he frowned. Then his look turned to one of betrayal. He threw an accusatory glare at Sebastian.

"Sorry, man! He's pushy...I can definitely see the appeal."

Kurt disregarded Sebastian. "Blaine. Would you like to get coffee with me?"

He barked out a laugh. "I'm a little busy right now," he looked pointedly at the man who was still going to town on his neck, seemingly unnoticing Blaine's lack of attention.

"Tomorrow, then. I'll be here in the morning. Join me if you can."

"I'm not sure what I have going on tomorrow." He looked around nonchalantly.

Kurt was shooting that pleading, "trust me" look in Blaine's direction. Something in Blaine's expression changed momentarily. Kurt stared back for a minute before turning on his heel to leave.

He heard muffled voices through the door that he let slam shut behind him.

"Is that the one?"

"The very same…"

Kurt was sitting at the coffee shop where he was supposed to meet Blaine. He had been sitting. For an hour.

He should have known Blaine wouldn't show. It would have been way too easy. Blaine was obviously having some sort of internal struggle. One second he let Kurt see him open and vulnerable, and the next, he was acting completely closed off and like he couldn't be bothered to care about anything. He could only imagine what was going on inside of Blaine's head.

Kurt sighed, collected his items, and headed out to walk to the train.

Around the corner, he came to an abrupt stop when he found himself face-to-face with Blaine's car. Or...at least...the car his Blaine had. And...he peeked into the window, trying without success to be inconspicuous...sure enough, someone was sitting inside, gripping the steering wheel.

Kurt tapped on the window. Blaine's head turned slightly to the side. When he saw that it was Kurt, he turned back straight ahead. A second later, Kurt heard the click of the automatic locks.

He opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat. Blaine still didn't look at him.

"You're here."

A nod.

"But you didn't come in.

Head shake.

Kurt didn't press the issue. They sat in silence for a few moments before Kurt reached into his messenger bag and offered the contents to Blaine.

"I got you a muffin. I actually bought you a coffee too, but I drank that while I was waiting, so…"

Blaine released his fingers from their death grip on the steering wheel and took the muffin, still without looking at Kurt. He seemed to think about it for a second before he set down the muffin. He squeezed his eyes together and tilted his head back against the headrest.

"God, this is exactly why I couldn't come in."

"Because you are offended by people buying you muffins?" Kurt jabbed.

He finally let his gaze fall on Kurt. His eyes were burning with frustration and confusion. "Because you're the kind of person who buys guys muffins and coffee without them asking. Because you're too kind and too innocent."

"You didn't think I was too innocent at my apartment the other day."

Blaine ignored this and continued. "You're probably the kind of guy who wants a long-term relationship and to fall in love. And I can't give you that."

"What if all I'm looking for is to go on a date and get to know you?"

"I don't date."

"You don't date? Or you don't want to date?"

"Is there a difference? All guys want is sex, anyway, and I'm more than willing to give that up without all of the nonsense."

Kurt shot him a look that told Blaine he could see straight through all of his shit.

Blaine didn't respond. He resumed his rigid posture and blasé expression.

"Let's go take a walk around the park," Kurt offered. Blaine's mouth popped open slightly, as if he were surprised Kurt was still pursuing this after what he had said. "We don't have to call it a date. We don't even have to talk if you don't want to."

To his surprise Blaine agreed.

As they walked, Kurt began asking questions. Of course, he knew most of the answers before they could leave Blaine's lips. (What's your favorite movie? (Casablanca.) Do you have any siblings? (One, Cooper.) What's your favorite color? (Navy.))

But some answers surprised him. (If you could be anything other than an actor/musician, what would you be? (Music Therapist.) Do you like children? (No.))

At first, Blaine seemed uncomfortable and answered with terse, single-word answers. But as they went on, Kurt could see Blaine visibly loosening up, and beginning to actually have fun.

"I can't believe you were in glee club too! I remember your friend from competitions, but not you. There's no way. I wouldn't have forgotten someone like you."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?" He reached out automatically to put one of Blaine's out-of-control curls back in place, but pulled his hand back when he realized what he was doing.

Blaine brushed it off. "Hey, you should sing with me at one of my gigs." He seemed to realize he had just broken one of his rules and had offered to make plans for the future, so he changed the subject immediately. "Look at that woman pushing her cats in the double stroller. What do you think her story is?"

Kurt's heart leapt. This was one of his and Blaine's favorite pastimes. He resisted the urge to reach over and grab his hand.

"It's tragic. Her family was killed in a horrific golf cart incident, and now she hoards animals and treats them like her children. She enjoys reading raunchy romance novels and making homemade hand soaps."

"Don't forget the fact that she has no less than 3 restraining orders against her by Oprah, Steve Harvey, and Dr. Phil."

"Which are also the names of her 3 favorite cats."

Blaine's carefree smile was contagious. Kurt loved knowing he could make this side of Blaine shine through. As they neared his car again, Kurt held out his hand.

"Phone," he commanded. When Blaine hesitated, Kurt prodded. "I'm not going to run away with it. I just want to give you my number."

Blaine complied. When Kurt had stored his number in the phone, he returned it to Blaine's outstretched hand. Their fingers brushed upon the exchange, causing a chill to run through Kurt's body.

"If you want to do this again sometime, just give me a call. I'd love to go on another not-date with you."

He was not used to Blaine being speechless; he was usually so chatty. It was actually kind of fun being the one taking the lead, as Blaine had done when he and Kurt first got together in their other life together.

Blaine still hadn't responded, so Kurt waved and went on his way, hoping beyond hope that he would get a call soon.