Not the kitchen again! ... or how Bruce manages to speed up the onset of Tony's inevitable mental breakdown
The next incident in the kitchen had been entirely unexpected, preventable and would have been labelled an overreaction if they weren't completely and totally terrified of the reaction of a certain green comrade of theirs.
The kitchen had been fully repaired since the last incident with Thor and there had been nothing wrong for a while which had allowed the Avengers to relax again, thinking that maybe they were all going to be ok and live harmoniously with the kitchen remaining intact. They should have known that the instant they even began to think like that that something would go wrong somehow or other but they were attempting to be optimistic, Pepper had gotten fed up of the cynicism from the team and had ordered a weekly optimism day under fear of telling Fury to assign them a live-in babysitter for their troubles.
It hadn't gone down well to say the least but they were all too aware that Pepper would carry out her threats if pushed and so dealt with it. On the plus side, there had been less Hulk outs recently so they wondered if there was any correlation.
Anyway, the peace and quiet had lulled them into a false sense of security, so much so that when they heard the crashing and banging coming from the kitchen, they jumped out of their skins before checking to see where Thor was.
He looked innocent when all eyes turned to him and found him sat innocuously on the couch. Even though they wouldn't put it past him to be able to do so, they figured that this wasn't the result of him and so headed to the kitchen with caution, armed as they had been last time with Thor having picked up Mjolnir from where it had been resting on top of Tony's magazines to annoy him. How Clint had tricked Thor into doing that, they didn't know and they were a little scared to find out. Tony had just sulked, too proud to actually ask Thor to remove his hammer as the thunderer still found it very amusing that none of the Avengers seemed to be able to lift it themselves.
When they realised that the only person who was not present at that very moment was Bruce, well, they proceeded with even more caution and hoped that the Hulk was feeling in a good mood today. They were surprised, however, when they entered the kitchen to find a partially naked Bruce sat in the middle of a mostly destroyed kitchen, not even the sink had escaped this time and was in several pieces, one of which was embedded into the ceiling. No one asked.
Bruce looked sheepish when he saw his fellow Avengers and they were pretty confident that it wasn't even his state of undress that had gotten him so embarrassed this time, although it seemed to play some part. Steve tossed him a blanket from the back of the couch to protect his modesty so that they could get to the bottom of what on earth had happened and implement a strategy to prevent the reoccurrence of such an event in the future. In short terms, basically work out what made the Hulk angry and make sure it never happened again.
Bruce shifted awkwardly under their gazes and tried to look anywhere but meet their eyes under the pretense of surveying the damage that had been caused presumably by his large green alter ego. The others weren't going to let it go that easily, however and kept up with the stares until Bruce finally cracked and started talking.
"So you know that Pepper had implemented this optimism thing so that we are all more positive and less cynical all of the time because she was fed up of being surrounded by negativity?"
At the nods he continued.
"Well it turns out that the Other Guy isn't really that positive of a person and he was starting to get annoyed by all the positive stuff but he didn't want to upset Pepper. I've been trying to find extra ways to de-stress and I've found that one thing that really helps is a good cup of tea."
Tony interrupted at that point. He had never been known for his patience or his subtlety, a fact which he displayed well with his next sentence.
"Ok, ok, we get it. Hulk is a negative person. How does this end up with my kitchen ruined AGAIN and you without your trousers?"
"We ran out of tea," was Bruce's plain response.
Silence greeted his statement in which he began to shuffle awkwardly from foot to foot, uncomfortable under all the attention.
"So..." Tony began. "Let me get this straight. You hulked out because there was no more tea left?"
"Um... yes?"
Tony seemed to be unable to form words, his mouth opening and closing frantically but no sounds emerging, making him look very much like a fish. He then groaned and stomped off muttering something about calling Pepper and picking a new kitchen.
Pepper had not been impressed when she had found out about the destruction of yet another kitchen and she began to wonder what she had done to deserve this as she begun yet another round of phone calls to see who would be able to come and refit the kitchen again as soon as possible. Maybe it would just be easier for Tony to buy a kitchen business if things continued at this rate, she thought.
Pepper also changed her mind on Optimism Mondays. If it prevented another Hulk out and the ensuing damage and chaos that ultimately she had to fix, well, she could deal with the startling levels of negativity and doom and gloom. Anything that meant less paperwork...
A monthly bulk order of tea was placed as well to ensure that there would never be a tea shortage in the tower again and the other Avengers resumed a long forgotten search for a person who was brave enough to give anger management classes to a man whose alter ego was the Hulk. Needless to say they weren't counting their chickens but they figured it was worth a try for the sake of Tony's sanity and the safety of his Tower and its occupants.
Hope you liked it. I could see Pepper getting fed up of negativity and issues that all of the Avengers have and trying to make them be positive and the Hulk not being impressed with that. Please review! Unbeta'd so sorry for any and all mistakes (I type this so often I should just make it my signature or something!).