Hello again. I would like to thank rainystv for the review. You know if I continue like this I'm on my way to finishing this story today. Hm, that's a scary thought.

Anyway another chapter, I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

Castiel had spent the months after his discovery that Dean didn't feel for him the way he felt for the other man doing very little. He had sat at his window and stared out of it, watching the world go by, but he refused to join it. No matter what Anna said or did he would not leave that room. He didn't want to remember anything more, and at times he even wished he had died. That they hadn't pulled him out of the ocean and worked so hard to save his life. Though he knew that was wrong. These people had given what they could to help him. But right now he didn't want to help himself. He needed to grieve the loss of a love he had never had. It was a strange situation to be in, in fact. But that was just the way it was.

But slowly he started to realise he was being a fool and as such he started to live once more, though he didn't go to the beach again. He didn't want to remember anything else. It hurt too much. And so he lived, he spent time with Anna and talked to the people who came into the clinic. He smiled and was polite, but Anna could tell he was still breaking inside, she didn't know what to do.

And then one night, a week before the anniversary of him waking up in this place he shot up in his bed gasping for breath. Because he remembered everything, he knew everything. And he knew he had failed. He had to fix it, and he had to do it now. With that he sprang out of bed and grabbed his stuff, spinning round trying to find something to put it in. He needed to go, he had to see Dean. Because he had remembered that Dean was his best friend and that he was his world. And he had remembered that Dean needed him, he needed him so much and Castiel had left him. He had left him on his own for almost a year. And that wasn't right. He had to go and find him right now. Because Castiel Novak had remembered who he was and what his purpose in this world was, which was to be at Dean Winchesters side, no matter what.

He finally stuffed his things into a trash bag, it would do and it would hold it. But then he was confronted with his next problem, he needed transportation. He needed to get to California, to get to Dean. And to do that he needed a car. Looking round the room he found there was nothing to help him there, except, yes, his eyes lit up when he spied his phone. Grabbing it he called Anna, she could help he was sure.

"Castiel?" Anna said down the phone with a groggy voice as he had just woken her.

"I need your car." Castiel stated without preamble, he needed to go now.

"what? Why?" She asked completely confused but at least she was waking up.

"I need to find Dean. Please, I remember everything Anna and he needs me." Castiel begged down the phone making Anna sit up straight. Well she certainty wasn't going to argue with him if he had finally come to his senses and decided to go find his friends and family, but did he really need to leave at 3.30 in the morning?

"Castiel, its still night. I'll come over in the morning and we can go then." She said in a reassuringly voice.

"No, I need to leave now Anna." Castiel stated, he was desperate, he had left Dean too long. He needed to see him, be with him, and he needed it now.

"Okay." Anna replied when she realised she wasn't going to talk any sense into this man. With that she pulled her self out of her bed and went and grabbed some clothes as she spoke once more. "I'll come get you. Where are we going?"

"Stanford." Castiel replied and hung up the phone so she could get ready quicker, with that and a quick glance around the room Castiel was out the door and waiting impatiently on the curb for Anna to drive up.

They arrived at the apartment that Castiel remembered as being his and Deans early afternoon. Before Anna had even shut off the engine Castiel was out of the car and bounding up the steps. He was going to see Dean soon, and he could apologise for leaving him for so long. But when he hit the buzzer for there apartment a strange voice he didn't know answered.

"Hello." The voice said, Castiel just hoped it was some friend of Dean's, though hopefully not too close a friend.

"Hello, I'm looking for Dean Winchester." he said with confidence, surely Dean would be here.

"Sorry mate, no one of that name here." The disembodied voice replied before he heard the connection cut off.

Dean wasn't there, he had gone. Where was he? How could he be with him if he wasn't here? Castiel sat down on the steps pain coursing through him. He was too late. Dean was gone.

Anna who had been sitting in the car, not wanting to intrude on the reunion watched in horror as Castiel sank down. Jumping out of the car she raced to his side and pulled him up.

"He's not here Anna, why isn't he here?" Castiel asked turning to her with such pain in his eyes her heart was breaking.

"I don't know Castiel, is there anyone else we can ask?" She said guiding him back to the car. At her words Castiel spurn round and grabbed her shoulders.

"Sam, his brother will know." With that Castiel jumped back into the car, ready and waiting for her to drive, though she had no idea where it was she was going.

Castiel directed her to the home of Sam Winchester, but when he got out it was to find the same process being repeated. Sam no longer lived where Castiel had known him to. He had no idea what to do. The Winchesters were nowhere to be found in this town. But Castiel needed Dean, and he knew, deep down, that Dean needed him as well.

Anna pulled into a motel and got them a room for the evening. Castiel's frantic behaviour had abated, but he had been very quite on the drive out of town. Too quite, she had no idea what to do now.

Once she got them both into the room she turned to Castiel with a frown.

"What now?" She asked.

At that Castiel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, he had been stupid and impulsive to start this journey without trying to find the Winchesters first, though he knew they both had the ability to disappear if they wished. For all he knew they were on one of there road trips. But he was out of that town now, and he wasn't going back. He should probably go and see Gabriel, but he didn't want to drag Anna on that massive journey, it wasn't fair on her.

"Now I go home." He said with a smile to her. And at the back of his mind the thought sprung up that Gabriel might well know where Dean was.

"Okay, we'll start in the morning." Anna said with a smile glad that Castiel seem more his normal calm self.

"You do not need to come with me Anna, it is a long way." Castiel replied gently.

"Don't be stupid Castiel, I'm coming. I want to see you reunited with your family." She responded with a shake of her head at him. Did he really think she would leave him now? When he was so close to finding his home?

"Very well, we'll start in the morning." Castiel agreed and with that the two settled down for the night in the road side motel.