Y.
So you know those situations where you someone asks you something and you become lathered in fear, like when your mum would find out that you stole her lipstick and drew all over the wall and she charged downstairs and asked who did it. This was a situation
exactly like that, I have always found in this situation that I have one of two reactions, I either freeze up and have no excuses coming to my head or I freeze up and have a billion excuses coming to my head. Now you would think that the least favourable
one would be the no ideas, but no, my least favourite reaction is the billion ideas, because you end up something like this.
'I don't really, I mean, I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't mean to eat the celery, it was Maya.' I blabbed before Slumping and face palming my self, the hell was that Riley.
'Ok slow down first of all, you aren't in big trouble, I wouldn't put that stress on the baby.' Lucas jokes rubbing my small bump, well I mean I'm not in trouble but it would be nice to know it was because of me, smehhhhh Lucas.
'Also I don't like getting calls from cheese soufflés telling me he's tracked down your location. It's weird and intrusive.' Lucas scoffed moving his hand from my stomach to my dainty hand, I didn't even think about it but my hand just instinctively did.
I opened my mouth to tell Lucas that I saw him and what he had said but his fingers clamped my lips together, what a rude human like Come on, to show that I was clearly unamused I rolled my eyes while he giggled. I realise I was in no way supposed
to be angry considering I have been keeping a massive secret of mine from him, for many years now. To be fair though no one knows about it, like Maya kind of knows but otherwise no one.
'Princess can I talk for a little and then you talk.' Lucas calmly spoke staring straight into my doe eyes, practically hypnotising me on the spot, well played Lucas well played. A huff was the only approval I could muster at this point, I was never a
massive fan of talking about my problems and found it quite tiring, I mean it's good that I am so selfless but I wish I was better at pouring out my feelings.
'So, why would you not tell me about your anxiety and depression, I know you have a good reason but Riley it hurt that you didn't tell me. I wouldn't have judged or been pushy or anything like that and I could've helped you, I know That it was hard but
I truly thought that you trusted me enough. I don't know why or how this came about and even though right now I'm mad at you for not telling me I know that you have a reason, as I've said a thousands times, just know that I'm here for you.' He declared
his hand slowly moving from my hand to my face, I relished at his touch and fell into his embrace, The things this boy does to me. I gave him a goofy smile and shot my hand up, which earned a gorgeous giggle from Lucas, he nodded his head and said
yes Riley, indicating that I should talk.
'Ok, Lucas, me not telling you had nothing to do with not trusting you or not wanting to, my anxiety pretty much prevents me from doing it. Telling you stresses me out because it puts you in a position to judge, it also puts me in a highly vulnerable
position and you gain a massive power over me. My therapist says that most people who go around and talk about their anxiety openly, don't actually have anxiety, sure there are some cases where people can talk about it to whoever and over time you
get better but it's not easy to talk about. Also when I tell people it becomes this massive reality, it's not just me who knows and it's stuck inside me, it's everyone. When I feel a panic attack coming on I can't pretend it's fake or pretend it never
happens so my friends don't find out, it becomes a thing. My depression is something I deal with privately and I don't talk about it at all, it scares me a lot and I always feel so god damn tired, it's worried me the past couple of weeks that our
baby will develop this and I don't want our baby to be unhappy.' I sighed concluding my rant, the pain clenching in my chest didn't go unnoticed but it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be. I watched Lucas carefully wipe away the stray tears
that had floated down from his glad covered orbs, I wanted so bad to wipe them away but I couldn't in fear of movement hurting my chest.
'We are going to get through this together Riley, and we are going to be fine. Sure it's a challenge, but I believe we can do anything we want to, now can I have the Riley that believes in her friends so much.' Lucas questioned looking at my frail, panting
self. I was a massive mess right now, but Lucas still looked At me like I was his world, like I was his everything. Find yourself a guy that can look at you like that, because it makes you feel so god damn good.
'I lava you.' Lucas sung making me burst into a spontaneous fit of giggles. That song was probably an absolute favourite of mine, like come on, nothing goes past Disney.
'I thank the earth, sea and the sky up above-a. For sending me someone to lava.' I glanced up into his eyes and couldn't help but get lost once again.
CHEESESOUFFLECHEESEDSOUFFLECHEESesoufflecheesesouffLE
'Ok hi Riley welcome back. Are you guys ready to find out the gender of your baby?' Abbie asked with a wide grin on her face, I snickered considering that Lucas and I's face probably mimicked hers exactly. I was so excited to start picking out names,
colours, toys everything. Also I promised Lucas that we would tell all our families and friends that don't know, after the reveal. I tried not to dwell on that too much considering it would send me in an overwhelming heap of stress, at least I knew
Farkle and smackle would be ok with it. Maya and Zay were currently sitting in the car waiting on a text of the gender reveal. Being the amazing self named god parents that they are, they wanted nothing more then to have a toy buying competition.
Apparently it's this thing that sometimes happens, but not really, where the two potential god parents go around and buy as much toys as they can in an hour. Who ever buys the most toys, wins, with these winning rights you get to be "main godparent".
Zay claims that it's this massive deal and everyone does it, but Maya assured me he just saw it on Twitter, the only reason Maya actually agreed was so she could "pummel Zay".
Lucas and I nodded our heads in affirmation, quite enthusiastically might I add. Abbie placed the spawn on Satan, I mean gel, on my belly and began doing a few boring things. The adrenaline and anticipation was making it very hard to keep still, but being
the legend that I am I managed to make it through just Fine, well I mean I didn't roll off. Abbie walked out of the room and left us to discuss. I didn't know what we were discussing, I think that was code for "I forgot a couple of things brb". Anyway
I never pass up an opportunity to speak with Lucas so I was more than happy to have a discussion.
'So what do you want it to be.' I questioned peering over at Lucas, thanks to the pillow I could only see half of his glowing, somewhat angelic face.
'Uhh well I've always pictures you running around the Kitchenwith a little girl if I'm honest. So I guess that's what I want, but a boy would be spectacular as well. I could teach him footy, Farkle could teach him science, Cory could teach him history
and smackle could teach him to be reliable with the ladies.' Lucas spoke staring off into space, presumably getting lost in thought. EVerything he said just made me love him that little bit more. Like come on, it's in women's nature to be attracted
to a boy when he's talking about children, because we are supposed to like children, do you get me ?
'That sounds amazing, both of those worlds. What names of you had to choose right now.' I yelled catching him off guard, I laughed a little at his scared face, because it was cute.
'UGHH for a girl, Bentley. For a boy, Tyler.' He said with absolutely no hesitation. They were really nice names, I really like Tyler. Tyler is multi-sex in some ways as well so it could. Be for a girl, same as Bentley.
'I like those, I like those a lot.' Before Lucas even had the chance of respond, the door flung open revealing a very smiley Abbie. I giggled at her abruptness and sat up a little so I could see her. She was practically radiating energy and happy vibes
off her, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if she became a hippy.
'I am happy to tell you guys that you are having.'
Silence.
Suspense
' a girl yay ' she yelled really loudly. I turned to Lucas giving him a big squeeze and then giving Abbie a hug as well, I couldn't wait to have a little girl. Even though we are kind of trouble when we are teenagers, I can deal with that and it will
be such a fun adventure. I have always pictured me doing her makeup and colouring, telling her boys are icky, EVERYTIME I pictured a baby, I thought of a girl. With our age gap maybe we would be super close and get along, well let's hope I mean I've
had quite a lot of bad luck.
'We are gonna have a little girl.' Lucas whispered rubbing my small bump. I smiled back at him and the sound of a phone shutter click caught me off guard.
'Sorry it was just too cute to not snap a pic of. Oh and you had about 100 texts from Maya.' Abbie squealed walking back over to her clipboard. I quickly texted Maya and she replied within seconds with;
The race has begun.
Oh lord.
CHEESESOUFFLECHEESESOUFFLECHEESESOUFFLECHEESESOUFFLECHEESESOUFFLE
Lucas and I crept up the stairs, no one was going to be home tonight as far as I knew. I looked down at the mounds of pics stuff all stuffed into bags, Maya and Zay had really out done them selves with this toy race, and yes Maya won of course. Lucas
and I also went shopping for a few small things that we might forgot later on, in the heat of the pregnancy. I adored shopping for clothes and baby things, everything was just so god damn cute. I wanted to wear some of those clothes.
We strutted up to the door and swing it open with no hesitation, dumping the bags at the door not thinking of looking around I started marching to my room, I turned slowly and saw Lucas wasn't following me. I stopped briefly in confusion before craning
my neck back and coming face to face with rouble. There, sitting sternly on my couch, was Lucas' parents and my parents, holding up my pregnancy test, and my ultrasound picture.
I didn't miss the hints of happiness on my mums face, seeing all that pink stuff, she had always wanted a granddaughter to hand jewellery down to. Seeing that happiness I knew everything was going to be alright in the end. They wouldn't hate us, they
might put us in the real world so we learn a lesson, but they wouldn't disclose us from there house.
'So I think there is some explaining in order, parents.'