Fall 2016 - Winter 2017

Author's note : Trigger warning for alcohol addiction.

Kara woke up tired again. She hadn't been sleeping well for a few nights now. She kept having nightmare of Lilian Luthor asking her : "what are you to my daughter ?" while she was rotting in her Cadmus cell. When Kara had discovered that Lena's mother was behind Cadmus, she had worried even more for Lena's safety than she already was, which was an awful lot. Kara have tried to warn her friend but even if she had visited Lena as Supergirl to be taken more seriously (and how Kara Danvers, the rookie reporter, would posses such sensitive information anyway) it had been to no avail.

As Kara got out of bed and stretched, she hoped that with Lilian in jail now, this was her last sleepless night. It have been all Lena's doing. Again. Kara wished that her friend would stop acting on the sly, it was so dangerous ! Kara stopped counting the number of times she came close to a heart attack thinking about the situation her friend put herself in. It would be so much better if Lena could bring Supergirl in her suicidal plans, or at least, tell her dear friend Kara Danvers about them so the latter could convey the message. It's not every day you have a friend who's directly in touch with a superhero ! Why in Rao's name not take this incredible opportunity ?

However, as Kara was dressing herself, she decided that today was the day she would put her worries aside. With Lilian's arrest yesterday, Lena was finally safe so the Kryptonian could focus on the important matter at hand. She would stop by Lena's office this evening after work to thank her for her precious help stopping Cadmus. But really, it was to finally tell the CEO the truth. It was time for Lena to know that she was in love with her. Kara had always trusted Lena but now, nobody, even her family, could tell her that the CEO wasn't on her side. Lena had proven her worth again and again, and this time, Kara would too by being honest with her best ally and true friend.

Work had been quite exhausting for Kara today. Snapper spent the day barking order at her and he even made her re-do one of her papers three times. So, when it was time to leave work, she didn't wait a second more. She was eager to crash on her couch with some ice cream but she had to stop by Lena's office first.

When she entered the hallway leading to Lena's office, she saw the CEO's assistant tense behind her desk. It was true that Kara had a habit of barging in, but between illegal fights, dangerous gangs and Cadmus, she hadn't really had the time to knock on doors lately. This time, she would do this right, she thought. Politely and all.

-"Hi !" she said smiling brightly at the assistant. "I'm Ka..."

-"I know who you are" Jess interrupted her harshly. "And since Miss Luthor gave you a free pass to her office, why don't you just let yourself in like you usually do instead of bothering me ? I have work to do" she added, stapling documents with more force than necessary.

Kara thought better not to make any comment and turned to knock on the door of Lena's office. She heard Jess whisper "unbelievable" behind her before Lena's voice captured all of her attention : "come in !"

Kara entered the office. Lena was sitting at her desk, putting handwritten annotations on some sketches and blueprints. She looked up and greeted the Kryptonian with an enthusiastic "Kara !"

Upon seeing the CEO so stunning, smiling at her with that beautiful smile only meant for her, Kara told herself that it was indeed time she admit to her friend how she really felt. But that implied telling her about her secret identity first. Dating Kara meant dating Supergirl too. Even the most clueless person in the world would connect the dots eventually. Or run away before they do. Like that guy, whose nose she had broken by kissing him too hard. Or this girl who had ruined her French manicure on Kara's back in a moment of heated passion. If the Kryptonian wanted Lena to be a more important part of her life than she already was, the CEO needed to know the truth.

-"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit ?" Lena said, standing up and hugging Kara.

-"I, huh, wanted to thank you" Kara replied nervously, still trying to recover from the hug.

-"For what ?" Lena asked smiling.

-"Your help with Cadmus. You know, rending the isotope inert and saving all the aliens of the planet ? Kara answered, smiling too.

-"Oh that !" Lena said nervously and went to pour herself a glass of water to avoid looking at Kara. "I should have known Supergirl would told you about it" she continued, facing Kara and preparing herself for a lecture about how reckless she had been. Again.

-"Actually she didn't." Kara adjusted her glasses nervously. It was now or never, she thought. "Like I said, I wanted to thank you for saving all the aliens who have found refuge on Earth". Her mouth was suddenly so dry she had to pause. Then, taking a deep breath, she took her glasses off and added : "including me."

The noise of a broken glass woke Lena from her stunned state. She hadn't realized she had dropped her glass of water, so enraptured by Kara's blue eyes. The same blue as Supergirl's. The silence stretched and Kara couldn't take it anymore.

-"I should have told you sooner, I know but..."

-"You're his cousin."

-"You mean Superman ? Uh, yes" Kara answered a little confused. She didn't expect Lena to ask that question above all the ones she usually got, like : "Really ?" or "can you fly right now ?". Even "I knew it !" would have make more sense to her.

-"That explains everything" Lena spoke again, her jaw clenching. "I thought it was just a coincidence that you showed up with him for that interview after the crash of the venture. It's all so clear now. You wanted to know if I was going to continue Lex's work by taking over Luthor Corp" the CEO finished, looking at Kara with hurt in her eyes.

-"What ? No ! Kara denied vehemently. "Wait, you knew about Clark ?" Now that Kara was thinking about it, that explained the verbal sparring between her cousin and her friend back then.

-"When I took over the company, I found some of Lex's stuff. Mostly notes but files too" Lena answered matter-of-factly. She walked to her desk, pullet a tissue from a box on her desk and started to wipe her wet feet angrily.

-"The interview was actually a good excuse to see you again ! I wasn't investigating you Lena !" Kara exclaimed astonished. Then, looking at the CEO with pleading eyes, she added, her voice soft again : "you know me, I trust you. I always have."

-"How come that you showed up just after the crash then ?" Lena replied angrily, crushing the now wet tissue in her right hand. "What about the 10 years that have passed ?"

-"I just learned that you were in National City the day of the crash !" Kara all but shouted. "I saw your interview on TV that night and that's why I came to see you with Clark the day after."

Lena snorted. "Yeah of course."

-"How was I supposed to know where you were all this time ? Kara asked, suddenly becoming angry too. "We lost contact shortly after I moved out to National city, remember ?"

-"Oh, so what you're saying is that you have super powers but you can't locate a lost friend ?" Lena laughed hollowly.

-"Lena I..."

-"It was Hell Kara !" Lena shouted suddenly at the verge of tears. "Every time we moved out, they kept finding us. It was a matter of days, a week if we were lucky. I thought this nightmare would stop when they arrested Lex but then, his trial started. It lasted months Kara ! Since people could not reach him, they would go after me. Insulting me, sending me death threats, even spitting on my face in the streets !" Tears were now falling from Lena's eyes. She shifted her gaze from Kara's and wiped her tears, blaming herself for her lack of composure. She looked at Kara again. "I could have use a superhero back then but you weren't there."

-"I'm so sorry Lena" Kara said softly. Seeing her friend so broken made her heart clench. She wanted to take Lena in her arms but she wasn't sure the gesture would be welcomed right now. All she had left was her words. "I swear if I could have helped you, I would have. I thought about finding you so much I lost count but it was too risky. We didn't know what Lex was capable of, if he still had contacts outside, how much did he know about Superman family so, I laid low so he wouldn't find about my existence." Then, looking straight into Lena's eyes to make sure the latter would believe her, Kara added : "that meant not seeing Kal-El nor using my powers for years and when I became Supergirl, things got, well, complicated." Loosing Astra was still a sensitive topic for the Kryptonian. That's why she kept it vague but maybe she would talk about it with Lena some day. If they ever talk again after this.

As the CEO wasn't responding, Kara felt the need to ask : "do you hate me ?"

-"No Kara, I don't hate you" Lena's soft response came. If there was someone the brunette hated right now, it was herself. She hated coming from a family that kept on ruining everything and she hated her heart for loving Supergirl. Why she couldn't have fallen for anyone else ? No, in Lena Luthor's life, the girl next door had to turn out to be an alien and mostly, National City's superhero. Of course. Nothing could ever be simple in her life.

-"I think I just need some time and space to process all of this" she added, hoping Kara wouldn't take it too badly.

Even though the reporter never ever imagined that the revelation of her secret identity would go that way, she could still understand that it needed some time to adjust to. It was indeed a big deal so if Lena needed time and space it didn't mean necessarily that their friendship was over. Yet, Kara couldn't help feeling disappointed and sad. So, she directed a quick "of course" at Lena with an awkward smile and raised her hand to do her usual nervous tic only to remember that she had taken off her glasses earlier. She reached for them in her blazer's pocket, put them on, said a swift "goodbye" to the CEO without looking at her, and left the room before even hearing if Lena had answered her or not.

They hadn't spoken in two weeks. Lena kept replaying their last exchange in her head, regretting every word she had thrown at her friend. The CEO knew that Kara never reconnected with her to investigate her, she was not like that. She had trusted Lena since the beginning and she actually was the only person Lena knew that didn't resent her for her last name. It seemed that the news was just too much to take. It brought a lot of awful memories that Lena thought she had moved on from and she lashed out on the only person present in the room. It wasn't really about Kara being Supergirl or an alien for that matter. It's one thing to be pro-alien but totally another to be in love with the cousin of the man who ruined your life. Even if Superman wasn't responsible of Lex's madness, seeing his face always reminded Lena of the worst time of her life, and Kara and him were close. So dating Kara would mean seeing the man more often which would remind her constantly of her twisted family : a crazy brother and her mother who tried to kill her future girlfriend. Well, now it was sure she won't be with all that Lena had said to her but still, that was the real reason she freaked out when her friend told her about her secret identity.

Lena interrupted her train of thought to go to her private bathroom in her office. She tried to fix her appearance but every morning it became more and more difficult. The incoming trial of her mother had brought her mind back to that awful period during Lex's trial. Journalists had spent the last week asking her constantly if she supported her mother views on Aliens and if L Corp was involved in the Cadmus project, exactly like all those years ago with Lex and Luthor Corp. This time however, now that she was the CEO of L Corp, she had taken action. She had declared publicly that she will testify against her mother to prove that her company had nothing to do with the anti-Aliens terrorist group. After that, the media hype had died down a little. But not enough to prevent Lena from having nightmares about Lex's trial and to get rid of the guilt she couldn't help but feel for her mother's situation. Even if the CEO repeated to herself that she did the right thing by turning her mother in, she couldn't stop feeling guilty. Lilian was the only family she had left after all. That was why Lena had visited her mother in jail yesterday. To try to talk some sense into her, to see if there was some humanity left within the woman, but like the time she did it with Lex, she got out of the parlor feeling even worse than before. All that reminded of her family was gone.

Lena washed her face with cold water and started to apply her makeup. She noticed that her hand trembled more lately. Probably the result of her alcohol consumption. It seemed that the bad memories came back with the bad habits too. She had survived the media nightmare of Lex's trial by drowning herself in studies by day and in alcohol by night. Then, when she took over Luthor Corp, she stopped drinking except for that one glass of red wine on Thanksgiving but her resolve seemed to leave her every time Kara did. The CEO swallowed a pill of aspirin and finished applying her lipstick. Since Lena had started spiralling down after Kara's last visit, Jess had taken upon herself to come earlier at work and take a tour of her boss office, picking the empty bottles of alcohol in front of a passed out Lena on her desk and deposing a jug of water with an aspirin pill on the glass table. Lena finds it very telling (and depressing) to know that the only thing she had really accomplished with success in her life was the choice of her personal assistant. She sighed and went to sit behind her desk, ready to face another day.

Speaking of Jess, the assistant was going on with her routine, taking appointments, opening and organizing the mail until she heard footstep from the end of the hallway. She tensed instantly. Those footstep were too fast and heavy to announce a friendly visit. She had actually heard them before. The blonde tornado was coming back. Jess stood up, fists clenched hard, ready to face the threat. Her boss may had given the reporter a free pass to her office, but Jess wasn't going to let the rude tornado get away without a good scolding form her part. She had no real proof that the blonde was responsible for the CEO recent miserable state but she would stake her own life on it. She could feel it. Good thing Jess wasn't the gambling type because to her surprise, a tall brunette with short hair turned the corner.

-"Is this Lena Luthor's office ?" the woman asked Jess, pointing at the wooden double door.

-"And who do I introduce ?" the assistant replied slowly knowing that the rude visitor was in a rush. That was her special treatment for people who didn't say "hello".

-"FBI" the woman answered impatiently, showing her badge into Jess's face. The assistant just had the time to read the word "Danvers" before the agent walked past her and entered the office.

-"You can't..." the assistant started to say when the door was shut in her face. "This family should come with a warning" she muttered angrily as she sat behind her desk again.

At the sound of her office door being slammed, Lena jumped from her seat (and out of her skin to be honest).

-"Agent Danvers ?" the CEO asked, disappointment clear in her voice. For a second, she had believe that it was Kara coming to see her.

-"I need to speak to you" a very angry Alex Danvers said, pointing at Lena with her index finger.

Lena motioned at Alex to sit on her couch but the agent declined her offer with a swift : "I will keep this short". The CEO didn't have time to say anything as the DEO agent spoke again:

-"I don't know really what there is between you and Kara or what there was back in High School but you need to fix this situation now !"

Lena tried to ask the agent to elaborate but she was cut off again before even formulating one word.

-"I know Kara told you that she is Supergirl and that you didn't take the news very well, considering your recent radio silence" Alex said more calmly. She was still standing in front of the CEO's desk with her hands on her hips though, silently convening to Lena that she better had a good explanation for hurting her sister.

-"Well, you must admit that you don't learn that kind of news every day" Lena replied sarcastically. In her defense, it was 10 in the morning and she hadn't done any work yet, so her patience was kind of limited. Not to mention that she didn't like how the agent was staring her down right now.

-"I know it's not easy information but you have to give her an answer" Alex went on unfazed. She hadn't came here to play a duel of wits. Kara had supported her when she had came out and when Maggie had rejected her the first time so now, it was her turn to return the favor.

-"Either you're OK with it or you're not. But shutting her off with no explanation ? It's really hurting her."

-"I'm sorry, I have a lot going on right now with my mother's trial and honestly, I don't know really what to tell her, I just..." Lena tried to explain herself but her mind was still blurry from last night hangover and the aspirin hadn't had time to kick in yet.

-"I couldn't care less about your family issues right now ! Alex shouted exasperated. Every time she witnessed her sister turning down a donut or a slice of pizza, she felt more and more desperate. She had to fix this situation or die trying.

-"Sorry" Alex spoke again, more calmly this time. "What I mean is that, you can't let her down, like that. I don't know how much she told you about her life except the fact that she's Supergirl but, she had been abandoned enough already by people she cared about."

-"Not really" Lena answered, now more awake. The agent outburst had helped her focus on the conversation but it was the words "hurting her" that really sobered up. "When she told me that she is Supergirl I'm afraid I didn't really let her speak" she continued sighting. She hadn't stopped regretting her reaction since that evening two weeks ago.

Alex knew that in order to convince the Luthor to speak to Kara, she had to provide the CEO with some background. Despite her shiny smile and attitude, her sister had been through a lot and some behaviors were triggering. Alex knew that Lena hadn't wanted to hurt Kara on purpose, so she was going to give the CEO the chance (and tools) to set things right.

-"When her planet Krypton was dying, her parents sent her away so she could survive but they didn't accompany her. They chose to die with their home. Then, Kara's space trip didn't go exactly as planned so when she came to Earth, her cousin was just starting this new important job and saving people as Superman. So, even though he was the only other surviving member of her family, he couldn't take care of Kara and left her to live with us"

Alex wondered if she had to tell Lena about the whole thing with Astra too. How Kara was so happy to reunite with her aunt to finally lose her again. The DEO agent decided it wasn't her story to tell so she just said :

-"People keep leaving her Lena, don't do the same please. I don't ask you to force yourself to stay her friend if you don't want to anymore but to at least, let her down easy, give her some closure."

-"I... I didn't know about all that" the CEO managed to say. There was so much she didn't know about Kara. The girl had always been so vague about her past when they were in high school. Now Lena understood why, and it only make her want to know more and mostly, to hear it directly from Kara.

-"Thanks for telling me" Lena assured Alex firmly. "I will talk to her, promise."

At that, the agent visibly relaxed. It seemed that she had what she had came for. "I'll leave you to your work" she said to Lena and went to open the door. Just before opening it though, she paused and faced the CEO again.

-"Oh, I almost forgot. If you tell anyone about Kara being Supergirl, I swear to God I will make your a life a living Hell until you wish you had died in the crash of the Venture."

Lena just nodded yes and then, the agent was gone. Lena had a lot of threats thrown at her in her life, but this was the first time she believed one to be feasible. She sighed and reached for a bottle of vodka and a glass in the bottom drawer of her desk. It wasn't her favorite drink but it was the only one that didn't leave a very recognizable alcoholic breath after and she couldn't have that for her professional meetings. As she started to open the bottle, she thought back to what Kara's sister had told her.

What was she doing ? After Lex went crazy in Metropolis and her life turned into a living hell, Kara had been there for her. She wrote to Lena until she couldn't anymore because Lilian had sent her daughter in a boarding school and made sure, with the director help, that no correspondence could be send to or received by Lena. And now she was hurting Kara by giving her silent treatment because she was too weak to leave the past behind. She had spent the last couple of weeks trying to salvage the last two things left from her childhood, her family's name and her mother's love, to finally realize that the former brought her nothing but problems and that the latter only existed in her dreams. Kara was still here. She was actually the only one that stayed until Lena shut her down.

The CEO screwed the cap back, stood up and dumped the bottle in the trash. It was time to clean up the mess she had made.