Chapter 9

A/N: Some of Lexa's background will be revealed but not all secrets. :)

Lexa waited outside the classroom. She checked her watch, Clarke's class was about to end soon. Dressed in her casual skinny jeans and a top that suited her fit frame, her back was resting on the wall as her eyes glanced at the door every other moment. Her face appeared calm but on the inside she was going through a whirlwind of emotions. It had been a while since she had allowed her heart to beat for someone else. She hated being this way. Most of her past life, she had gone through things, which no human being should go through. And she had found it easier to just shut it off. Anya had tried her best to be there for Lexa and make it little easier for her. Anya.. As Lexa thought about Anya's words, she closed her eyes. Smiling face of Costia popped inside her head like it was there all the time. And of course it was. It was Lexa's first and only love. But more than that she was her best friend, her confidant. It was impossible to separate them. Anya used to tease her all the time about their teenage love but even Anya knew that it was so much more. Costia was Lexa's and vice versa. Simple as that. Every thing Lexa did or heard or saw or found out, she wanted to share with her. Her parents often wondered how bubbly and adventurous Lexa was so in tune with shy and timid Costia. From Lexa's perspective, it was just magic. It wasn't like they never had fights, but their fights lasted an hour at most. Before they knew they were giggling about the stupidity of their quarrel and how they were sorry. Things changed quickly though and drastically. Lexa had never imagined the possibility of losing Costia. So when it happened, she couldn't comprehend the loss. How it was possible that the one person you cherish the most in this world is taken away from you. Lexa was always mature for her age but her loss made her even more self aware and closed off. She had lost the one person who knew her, truly knew her in this entire world. People around you share your grief when such tragedy happens. People give their condolences, try to help you get through the day but it doesn't last. As if Anya could read her mind, she was always there for Lexa through every rough moment. Lexa was ever so grateful of her friend. Anya had been more than her friend. She was her family.

A tear rolled down her cheeks as Lexa's mind wandered through painful memories. But Lexa had decided that she was done letting her life dictated by the events she had no control over. She was going to listen to Anya. She was going to take a chance. So when she saw the professor leave, followed by a bundle of shiny, blonde hair, she wiped any remnants of tears from her cheek and strode forward.

"Hi.." Lexa almost sounded scared. She cleared her throat and tried again.. "Hi.."

Clarke looked at her and took a second to say Hi back. As she gazed over the face of Lexa, she somehow had a feeling that something was not right. She quickly smiled in the hope that the action will reassure Lexa a little. "umm Hi Lexa.."

"Can we talk?"

Clarke nodded. She could easily feel her heart beating faster. She prayed to whatever deity that was currently looking over the two of them that things won't go downhill from this moment. Clarke couldn't entertain the thought of not having Lexa in her life so she decided she was going to get through whatever Lexa had to say. Maybe Lexa just wanted to be friends. The idea was painful but better than not having Lexa in her life at all. She mustered up whatever courage she could and pointed Lexa in the direction they could go for a walk. As they both reached near the school ground, there was a walking track around the far end of the ground. There were tress on both sides of the path, covering the top and providing shade. Clarke could feel the stillness in atmosphere. There was no wind, only a small rustling sound of the leaves. She could only hear the noise of her heartbeats as she waited for Lexa to speak.

"I.. I am really sorry Clarke.. "

Clarke's heartbeats doubled. She breathed slowly and whispered, "umm about what?"

"about.. about the kiss.." A painful shiver went through Clarke's spine. She just looked down, kept walking and nodded.

"You regret it?" Clarke wondered. The hurt was so evident in her voice that Lexa almost cursed herself at how she failed at expressing herself. She quickly amended.

"No.. No.. I mean.. kissing you and ignoring you like that. I mean I didn't ignore.. I didn't want to.. I just needed some time." Lexa rambled out whatever she could.

Clarke just nodded and looked ahead at particularly no one.

Lexa waited for a moment, took a breath and looked at Clarke. "You are mad.."

Clarke looked back in those piercing green eyes and smiled a little. "No.. not mad.. just confused. I mean it was you who kissed me and then pretended like I didn't exist"

Clarke hadn't intended for her words to come out like that but they did and Lexa flinched. Clarke stopped and sighed. "I can clearly see that you have a lot on your mind Lex. I just want you to know that I am here for you, in whatever capacity you want me to. Just don't shut me out." and then she smiled at Lexa. Lexa was captivated by that smile to her core and then Lexa knew she was in trouble. She took Clarke's hand in her hand and smiled.

"I will try Clarke. And I kissed you because.."

"I am awesome?" Clarke cut off Lexa and laughed. Trying to lighten the mood.

Lexa laughed with her. And she chose this moment to tell Clarke what she felt about the blonde. "yes you are and you are…. gorgeous, like you take my breath away every time I look at you. You make my heart beat like I wonder if I am having a heart attack. Your smile is so infectious that you make my every worry disappear and make me smile with you. You are so considerate and understanding of others that my heart fills to the brink with the admiration. And what you did for me and my grandma, I.. I have no words."

At this point Lexa felt she had poured out every thought she had without any filter and she feared it was too much at this point in their friendship or relationship or whatever the hell it was. She looked up at Clarke to see her reaction and she saw Clarke teary eyed and biting her lip.

"Umm sorry.. I shouldn't.." Lexa tried to mend whatever damage she thought she might have caused.

"No Lexa… I am glad you did." Clarke hugged Lexa and whispered. "I like you too"

Clarke had about four page full of things she wanted to say to Lexa but this wasn't the time. She didn't want to overwhelm the already trembling girl by professing her undying love to this angel. She would do it one day of course. This was just a start. Lexa hugged her tighter as she heard what the blonde said. They remained like that for a few moments. Feeling lighter as they broke the embrace. Clarke suggested they both go watch Octavia's soccer match and Lexa happily agreed. They both walked to the stands, hand in hand.

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. Please share your thoughts. :)