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"Madalina wait up a moment." Paul spoke from behind me after I left the tent.
I waited til Paul was standing in front of me, "Yes Paul?"
"Let me walk you back to your trailer." His gray hair shined in the moonlight giving a slight hypnotic effect.
"That is alright you do not need too." Nervously smiling.
"I know but I want too." He flashed his perfect grin and my stomach felt funny.
Hoping the night would hide my blush I only nodded and we walked on.
"That was pretty brave what you did back there. You've got guts."
"I was just helping someone in need. I am not brave." Somberly responding to his praises.
"Why do you sell yourself short?" Paul stopped walking questioning me.
My head flooded with memories of me cowering behind my papa and momma. When the Gestapo came for us I did not speak up like Petras. I did not speak up when I was separated from my papa, my grandparents, or my cousins. I clung to my momma for dear life in the camps after that. I did not help those sentenced to death by the gas chambers. I was not Eliezer or Petras, I did not fight. Not even when I saw them dying.
No. I was not brave.
"Madalina?" Paul's voice brought me back to reality.
Coughing nervously I replied, "What you call 'selling myself short', maybe I call modesty." A small smile appeared on my face as I tried to make a joke to distract him.
Paul started to chuckle, "Point taken, I guess you are just going to have to get used to us praising you." He beamed and I was sure my blush was up to my ears by now.
"You are very cheeky Paul." Musing as we reached my trailer steps.
As a response he bowed to me and giggles escaped past my lips, "It's what I do love." That smile never left his face. I never wanted it too. It was so beautiful to look at.
Bending down I retrieved my pad and pen I had hastily dropped when I led Jimmy to Dot and Bette. Standing up straight again something caught my eye by the tall brushes of weeds over by some of the other tents.
He was there and when I blinked he was gone.
"What is it?" Paul asked looking over to where I was staring.
"I...I thought I saw a clown? I guess I am more tired than I thought." Shaking my head chalking it up to my long day.
"Goodnight Paul, sleep well." Giving him a warm smile which he returned,
"And to you as well Madalina." I gave him one last glance before I stepping inside my trailer. I set my pad and pen down on the table and locked my door before settling into bed wishing for a few hours of sleep.
No matter how little sleep I have always gotten my body had been programmed from years at the camp to get up early. When I awoke the next morning I looked at my seneliai's pocket watch. Six thirty am, so I had slept for about five and a half hours. Not the worst I had ever gotten so it was not that bad.
Rising from bed I took a quick shower, put my dark brown wavy hair in a bun and dressed in one of my old ¾'s dresses taking care to make sure it covered my tattoo then put on Miss Ethel's apron. Before I walked out the door I grabbed one of my smaller note pads, a pencil, and my measuring tape hoping I could take down some of the others measurements for future use.
Tucking them into one of the apron pockets I set out for the outdoor cooking area ready to earn my keep.
The sun was just being to rise giving me enough light to make breakfast for everyone. Yesterday Eve had showed me where everything was, how much we had, and how to work the stove and oven because she did the cooking as well.
Wanting to do something simple I decided to make blueberry pancakes, although I was a bit weary about it. I was so used to frying the pancakes we made at home only a few times did I use the stove top to make them.
I hoped for the best as I started to mix the ingredients together in a large bowl while I let the stove warm up. As I let the first pancake cook I gathered plates, knives and forks to set the tables.
Inspecting the first pancake it did not appear half bad.
Thirty five minutes later I placed the last of my pancakes on a second plate. I hoped fifty would be enough for everyone.
"So it's you who is making that heavenly smell that's making its way around the camp."
"Hello Miss Ethel, how are you this morning?" Inquiring with a grin.
"Better now that I have some delicious looking pancakes to eat. Did you make those all?" She asked and I nodded.
"Do you think it will be enough?" Slightly panicked there would not be enough.
"Oh I reckon it's enough, let me go round everyone up to eat."
As she left to gather everyone I made a quick, rather large batch of scrambled eggs for everyone as well. By the time everyone had shown up the eggs and pancakes were waiting to be eaten. While I added eggs, flour, and blueberries to the grocery list.
"Oh my liebe, you made this for us?" Elsa exclaimed as she walked in with Ma Petite.
"Well yes Miss Elsa I thought that was part of my job?" Confused that I had already done something wrong.
"No, no, no my liebe you did everything right. Thank you for breakfast." She smiled as we all sat down at different tables.
"Miss Elsa if it is alright with you I would like to go around and start taking measurements from the performers for future use?" Asking as I started serving Ma Petite.
"Yes my sweet that would be perfectly fine, now let us eat." She commanded.
After breakfast I started with Ma Petite and Eve and slowly worked my way around the camp. By the time I had reached Dot and Bette I was nearly done, towing a bag of various items of clothing that needed to be mended along with me.
I found them sitting outside their tent, "Hello girls." Greeting them with a smile.
"Hi Lina." Bette responded with a smile.
"Hello." Dot answered. She was still stoic but after last night I could see some of the ice starting to melt away.
"Elsa mentioned that you both needed a new dress or two is it alright if I take your measurements to make some clothes?" Asking them.
"Don't you need a pattern to make clothes?" Bette inquired.
Shaking my head, "I do not need patterns, I make most of my clothes just by sight." I chuckled, "It is very useful."
Dot and Bette glanced at each other and it appeared that they seemed to be in some silent communication. After a minute they agreed and I followed them into their tent.
As I begun to take my measurements Dot spoke to me, "Why did you save that man when he clearly did not deserve to be saved?"
"Because even though he was a filthy šikna his blood did not belong on your hands; on our hands." Responding as I jotted down their waist size.
"But wouldn't his death served as justice for all those things he said and did?" Bette asked.
"Sometimes justice is not always black and white, sometimes it is complicated, sometimes it does not always happen." Sighing in depression, "In all honesty ladies I did not want to see anymore death. I have had my fill of it back home in Europe and I came to America to make a fresh start and escape death. Death brings many friends with him and none of them good." Seriously telling them.
"How much death have you known?" Dot honestly asked me.
I paused, "Enough to last me lifetimes. That is what happens when you are a Jew in a Nazi occupied Europe."
"I will trying and go into town today after my chores and buy some fabric to start making a dress. You two have a lovely afternoon." Changing the subject as I gathered my things and left.
Later in the early afternoon after getting Miss Elsa's permission I sought out Jimmy.
"Jimmy I understand you are going into town." Confirming with him rather than asking the question.
"Yeah leaving soon, why?" He questioned.
"Well I need to go to town too and I was wondering if I could catch a ride on your bike?" Eyeing his motorcycle. I had seen them, but I had never ridden on one before.
He leaned against his trailer and stared at me, suspicious no doubt, "What do you need in town?"
"Miss Elsa wants me to put up some new flyers advertising the twins and I need to go and buy fabric. Dot and Bette need some clothes made along with some of the other members. I just need a ride there I can walk back." Grinning at him hoping he would take me.
There was a pause, "If I double check with Elsa is she going to confirm what you just told me?" Questioning in distrust.
I do not blame him for being uneasy but the implication still stung a bit nonetheless.
"I would not lie to you." Earnestly replying, "But I understand where your wariness is coming from. How about this, you go check with Miss Elsa and I will run back to my trailer and get my bag."
Jimmy took a moment to think it over and nodded. I took off in a jog back to my trailer to retrieve my shoulder bag and the large canvas bag I had put away for special outings. I had hoped it would be able to hold everything I needed.
By the time I got back Jimmy was standing by his motorcycle.
"Are you ready?" I beamed at him.
"Why do you smile so much?"
"Why not?" Answering in a simple reply.
"Come on." He commanded and got on his bike. Biting my lip I sat down behind him.
"You may want to hold on!" He shouted as he started up his bike.
"To what?" I asked but he dd not answer only took off causing me to grab onto his waist for dear life.
I did not know what I was more nervous about, riding a motorcycle for the first time. Or this being the closest I had ever been to a man.
The faster he went the tighter I held on and the more I blushed and the more I felt Jimmy laughing at me.
Yet after a few minutes it did not seem so scary anymore. The open road looked welcoming. It looked freeing and beautiful.
With shaking hands I slowly loosened my grip around Jimmy's waist til my hands were at my sides. My arms tremored as I cautiously raised them into the air feeling the wind bet against them.
My hair was down and my waves were whipping through the wind. I felt wild almost.
Grinning I started to laugh as I kept my arms out in the wind.
A bird. I was a bird feeling a freedom I had never known.
"Having fun?" Jimmy mused.
"This is amazing." I laughed. I closed my eyes and let the wind take me. I let myself feel wild and free.
Jimmy dropped me off in the middle of town.
"Thank you for the ride Jimmy." I said getting off the bike, disappointed that the ride was over.
"No problem. I got things to do in town so I won't be far if you run into any trouble. You sure you don't want a ride back?" His demeanor seemed to changed, his mood appeared lightened towards me now.
"No thank you I like to walk." Giving out a chuckle.
He nodded before starting up his bike and driving off into the other parts of town.
It took me twenty minutes to post all of the flyers Miss Elsa had given me, after I was satisfied with their placing I headed off to the local tailors shop. But before I could enter I tripped on my shoelace and almost fell onto the ground. Bending down to retie it my eye caught something in the garbage bin.
Getting up I carefully took the discarded newspaper out of the bin and studied the front page.
"Local Detective Missing As of This Morning. Police On the Case and Looking For Any Suspects."
Under the headline was the photo of the same man I encountered last night.
It is not a simple coincidence that after he leaves the camp he goes missing. Making sure no one was around I quickly folded the newspaper intent on reading it further later.
Upon entering the shop a bell dinged notifying the owner who was sitting behind a counter. The owner was an older man, with balding grey hair looking to be around fifty or sixty. I gave him a smile and went on to search for fabric.
After a few minutes I had found a lovely lilac and canary yellow color that I thought would look wonderful on Bette and Dot, a simple white, and basic black just to cover the necessities.
Walking up to the counter I being speaking with the owner, "Hello, do you think I could get twelve yards of the canary yellow, the lilac, the white and the black?" Asking him.
He nodded and gave a small smile to which I returned. He got up and walked up from behind the counter. That is when my breath stopped short in my throat as I caught sight of his left arm.
Putting my hand on his arm him he turned and stared at me confused.
"Jedem das Seine." I whispered to him.
Those cruel gates words will forever be embedded in my memory.
There was a pause as he took in my words, "Arbeit Macht Frei." The man softly replied.
Slowly I lifted my sleeve to show him my tattoo. He lifted up his and we put them together side by side. I wondered if this was real? Finding another survivor here, in Jupiter.
I stared into the eyes of this man I did not even know but there was already an instant connection. A connection no normal person would be able to understand.
The connection and tie of surviving Hell, in every sense of the word.