This is so sad don't read if your really happy
Apparently being gone for a long period of time without a warning or an explanation for it makes people stare. That is what her brothers told her when people stared at her as she walked thru town on her first day back. She didn't mind a lot of people started at her when she was away to.
She hadn't had a say in whether she wanted to go or not, She had been in a bad place and she was on a dark path sending her to where she had been was the right move but she still wished she never went on her dark path.
She was back home after 3 years of only meeting her family once a year and sending letters she was back. She hadn't suffered quite the opposite the academy was a nice place with nice people and they had helped her but she missed her home. The last thing they had done before she left was show her a picture of her when she arrived and a picture from earlier in the day she had been shocked and had said "what a bad hair day" to try and lighten the mood.
She was happier now she was 17 and no one would have recognized her if it wasn't for her dark fire red curly hair and her green eyes that her brothers shared with her. but when it came to them green eyes and a temper where the only thing they shared for they towered over her with one of them having black hair, sebastian and the other jonathan had almost white hair it scared her how pale it was.
Her parents had sent her to the mall with her brothers to by school things and clothes when she had asked why she couldn't order it online they had pretended to not hear and handed her the car keys. Clary bought some clothes that her brothers approved of and then two note books and a backpack when she said she was done they shook their heads and said "no we are hungry and you are feeding us" clary nodded and told them to lead the way.
They went into a diner-ish restaurant and clary slided in and they sat across from her both of their eyes glinted with questions. Clary smirked and ordered a milkshake and fries and her brother had said "the usual" and clary frowned. As the food came she picked up a fry and said "Ask away im not shy" they shared a glance and asked "how did you skip a year?" clary smirked "I have a brain i did my homework and when you can't go out or text or go on the internet math is very appealing" her brothers were not affected by her words, but still annoyed and they had been since they found out clary was in their grade.
clary took a sip of her milkshake and sebastian asked "I thought you didn't like that" clary shook her head and said "I didn't like food, now i can fully appreciate the taste of heaven" her brothers smiled and then their smiles were one of the few things that she missed when she had been away.
…
The weekend passed and monday was the day for school so clary got up, packed her things and waited for her brothers. They drove to school and as they arrived after 15 minutes clary frowned "if it's this close why are you driving" her brothers looked back at her, Clary held her hands up telling them she was giving up and then got out. They walked to the office and clary got her schedule and jon and seb frowned when she had a different one then them. The receptionist looked up and said "she has ap classes and you two don't" clary frowned "Why do i have them?" she smiled "we were sent your test scores and matched them you shouldn't have a hard time" clary said thank you and parted with her brothers to find her locker.
She unlocked the locker putting her jacket inside and decided to take her backpack with her. She closed the door and turned to walk away when someone stood in her way. Clary looked up at the tall girl with long black hair and watched as she smirked. Clary stepped to the side and the girl chuckled "I was just messing with you" Clare gave a weak smile and kept walking only to realize she didn't have an idea of where she was going. The girl smiled "I'm isabelle and you are new if im not wrong" clary smiled and asked "i'm clary and i am, would you mind telling me where im going" izzy smiled and looked at her note and said "we have the same class so if you come with me I'm just going to leave my bag and i'll walk you" Clary nodded as a response. Izzy walked up to a locker a few down from hers and opened it pulling out a notebook and pen and they were off.
They walked thru the halls and clary frowned as she saw how few people were here. "how come no one's here" izzy smiled "it's early" clary nodded and asked "Why are you here so early?" izzy smiled "it's monday why not?" clary smiled and followed her to the classroom as they stood outside she heard someone call "Iz" Clary turned to look down the hall and as soon as she saw him her mind fogged and her stomach stirred and her thoughts were 'oh shit' The blonde gay walked up to her and held out a pair of keys and said "Seb and jon said they wanted to give me a ride, can you take my car" izzy grabbed the keys and asked "will do" clary looked down at the floor and izzy said "oh right this is clary, clary this is my adoptive brother jace" clary smiled and said "nice to meet you" jace smiled at her then frowned and asked "have we met before?" clary shook her head "I don't think so i haven't been in this town for over three years?" jace nodded and asked "sorry you just look really familiar" clary nodded and said "well this is getting a bit weird so bye" jace grinned and clary rushed inside.
Clary sat thru the lesson writing down the notes, staying behind at every class to see what she missed. when lunch came around clary didn't want to eat she didn't want everyone to stare so when she sat down alone at a table she was relieved by the fact that no one looked at her.
All her calm happy thoughts went out the window as her brothers joined her and all eyes were on hers. Clary narrowed her eyes at them and asked "why are you sitting here?" they smiled and sebastian said "we're sitting here so you're not alone" clary sighed but there was no crying or panicking. Clary picked up her water bottle and went to leave as they both said "nooo your staying here with us" clary sighed and sat down. Izzy set her tray down beside clary and said "guys stop torturing her on her first day" clary frowned and they said "we started torturing her on friday actually" izzy frowned and looked to clary who said "I came here on friday" she frowned yet again and clary said "and we live together as siblings do" and if eyes could pop out of one's head izzy was as close to doing it as one possibly could get.
she looked between them and asked "but how, you never said you had a sister" they both shrugged and jon said "it wasn't relevant at the time" she crossed her arms over her chest and asked "how so" they both looked to clary and she said "I haven't lived here for 3 years it's hard to explain that" izzy nodded and then 2 new people joined them clary recognized jace as one and the other looked a lot like izzy. Izzy looked at the 2 new members of the table and said "did you two know she's their sister" her voice a little too loud. multiple people turned to stare and clary sunk down in her seat and asked "why are you screaming?" she turned to clary and asked "it's a huge deal, how are you even in our grade they were born 9 months apart but i find it hard to believe you're one of their twins" Clary shook her head and said "no I'm not their twin but it's also none of your business, please back of" clary grabbed her bag and walked out of the cafeteria. the day continued on and as it ended she set of off to walk home.
she wasn't even 5 minutes down the road when her brothers pulled up beside her smiling like idiots and clary asked "it's not nice to stare" they didn't answer her they just opened the door and waited for her to get inside. She closed the door and looked over to see him smiling. She turned to look ahead and said "drive the damn car" him turned to look at her and smiled and said "you not happy with your first day back?" She didn't turn her head instead she stared out the window. Their drive was silent on clary's side whereas he kept sneaking glances at her. in the end She turned her head and caught him staring and raised her eyebrows in question as if to say 'Why the hell are staring at me' He simply shrugged with a smile and turned back.
They pulled into the drive she mumbled a 'thank you' to her brothers and rushed inside. Her first day was a fail but then again she thought it would be worse she was convinced she would cry but she felt fine. She pulled her books out and looked over the homework and frowned at the lack of it.
She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to find her brothers looking as confused as they could possibly be. Clary walked in behind them and sat down at one of the high chairs and watched as they leaned over the counter reading the instructions. after a while she asked "How's it going" They both tensed and turned their heads. Clary smiled and said "i thought you'd have them down for sure by now" Sebastian gave a fake smile and said "we know them just making sure" jonathan backed him up and clary nodded in agreement. They started making the food and as clary heard the door open sebastian's lips turned up into a smirk and clary asked "Why are smiling?" he shrugged and said "nothing, how was your first day of school?" clary smirked and asked "Why do you want to know?" "I want to know too" a voice popped in behind her but then she knew someone had been there so when jace sat down beside her she didn't jump. Clary raised her eyebrows and asked "why do you want to know if you should call mom and dad" sebastian and jonathan looked at her and she matched their looks.
jonathan said "come on don't be like that we just ask be cause we want to know" clary smiled and said "class was fine homework was fine, I'm not to keen on nosy people wanting to see my birth certificate" sebastian smiled and jace said "she's my sister don't be mean, besides she knows them and it's weird for her to find out after 2 and a half years that your good friend didn't mention a sister" clary shrugged and asked "then why are you so chill about it" he smiled and said "I'm nice" clary scoffed and said "yeah I'm sure" her brothers smiled and jonathan said "no offence to you jace but she's a hard nut to crack don't flirt with her" Clary smiled and jace said "but i'm irresistable" his voice as a five year old's. Clary turned her head to the side and said "maybe you should go take a nap then" he grinned and said "nah i'll stay and wait for food" clary turned back to her brothers and asked "so when is mom and dad usually home?" they shrugged 7 or 8 but with you back probably 5 for a while" clary nodded and asked "did anyone call?" sebastian nodded and said "doctor called and set up a time so you can go do the test and then a bunch of people looking for dad" clary nodded and said "can i go?" sebastian shook his head "your to sit and amuse us" clary sighed and said "yay me"
It's amazing how time flies over a month of people in and out and tests and doctor's visits. clary had gotten to know izzy and jace even alec and her had developed a silent friendship. Her brothers backed off on the protectiveness after a week and clary roamed the streets during the day and they stole her away on the evenings claiming they deserved time after 3 years apart.
Clary was sat down on the couch at five in the morning and nothing was right everything was just numb she couldn't find the motivation for anything and so she sat there. And that day was one of those days jace had stayed over so when he came down for breakfast he called her a hello but she didn't answer, She sat there staring into the backyard. Jace came back in and asked "hey why are you awake?" no answer "hello?" jace sat down beside her and asked "hey what's wrong?" clary didn't move she started at the same spot and jace placed a hand on her shoulder and said "Clary?" but then nothing and so he turned her face to him and asked "tell me how i can help?" clary didn't have any emotion in her words as she said "you can't help" jace frowned and want up and walked into jon's room and said "Wake up" jon sat up and asked "What?" jace looked freaked out as he said "your sister is sitting downstairs like a zombie" that seemed to do the trick as he shot out of bed and sprinted down the stairs jace right behind him.
But to jace surprise he didn't talk to her he just lifted her up and carried her upstairs into sebastian's room and set her down jace followed and asked "What's happening?" jon shook his head and said "i have to wake my parents stay with her" and then he was alone so he how Sebastian up and he moved over and clary resulted in hugging her knees so jace set down beside her and and wrapped his arms around her and but his face in the crook of her neck and said "you're scaring me" clary placed a hand over his and reached out to sebastian and sebastian asked "bad day?" clary nodded and jace sat there and asked "can i do anything?" clary shook her head and said "just stay there" sebastian got out of bed and said "you want us home?" clary shook her head "you have a test and jon does to I'll be okay" jace frowned "I'll stay with you" Clary nodded and her parents came in and her dad gave her a kiss on the head and her mom told her to go sleep in her own room. They hadn't minded jace staying with her saying that she could have anything she wanted.
That is exactly what had happened that day jace had carried her to her own room where she had crawled into bed along with jace who held her while she slept. But as her brothers came home they checked in and asked how it had been but clary slept thru the day. She woke up at a point took a shower and went back to bed.
the day after clary had been her normal sarcastic self and jace had been left confused but didn't say anything and understood that clary would tell him when she was ready and not a minute before.
Clary never brought it up neither did her brothers and he never asked so when he walked into the house and walked up to clary's room and found her laying in her bed unmoving he assumed she was asleep but as he saw the letters he picked the one with his own name and the first three words hit him hard * im not sleep * jace dropped the piece of paper and took her pulse to find there was a weak one he called the ambulance and then her brothers and then her parents.
The ambulance came and jace grabbed the letters and wrapped clary in a blanked and they were off. As they arrived he never left her side they said "we don't know if she's going to wake up, she's not in pain but we don't know what she did. you can sit with her come get me when her family arrives"
So he unfolded the letter and read on:
I'm not sleeping,
I didn't explain why i was gone for 3 years because saying you were at a mental hospital isn't something you just say over lunch, that day when you stayed with me it was a bad day I wake up and i just didn't want to live nothing brought it on it wasn't anyone's fault. When you came down I knew I wouldn't die because you would never have left me for more than 5 minutes. I want to start with a thank you because you deserve it you were a great friend i would say a second brother but i don't think i could call you a brother because i don't feel that way for you. I love you and im so happy i got to feel it, you meant everything to me and I can honestly say you are the main reason for me lasting this long, I didn't kill myself because people were mean I killed myself because im not happy anymore and im sorry i left you but i have a feeling you'll forget me and move on because you have so many things to do.
But i'll see you when you fall asleep and I will watch over you when you chase your dreams and I'll watch you smile and have fun and i don't think i need anything else. I happier now. I won't forget and i know you won't, but please don't forget to move on and live. I hope you go on that road trip with my brothers and that you take pictures on every stop and I want everything for you. So please just know that with my last breath i loved you, I loved izzy and alec and my family. I loved you all and I know you all loved me. I just couldn't stay, but i love you.
and so there he sat his hand shaking and the tears streaming down his face as he looked up at the girl in the hospital bed. He didn't know if she was going to wake up, But he didn't know what he would do if she didn't he didn't know if he could live knowing he never got to say 'I love you' to her.
AN/ did you cry? i did!. Did you like it? be sure to tell me if you want more