A large pounding on my door startled me awake. I grabbed my cardigan and covered myself.
"Who is it?" Asking as I stood by the door. It was my experience that if someone was pounding on your door in the middle of the night, it was not a good thing.
"It's Eve honey." She answered.
Letting out a sigh I opened the door, "Eve, what is it?" Questioning. She was in her pajamas.
"It's Elsa, she wants all of us gathered in the main tent." Eve told me but she seemed nervous. I did not question her. I simply put my flats on and closed the door following her.
All of us made our way to the main tent. All of us confused and dressed in our night clothes. Catching eyes with Paul I tried to know what was going on.
Except he met my face with the same look of disorientation I was sure was on my face.
When we walked into the tent we stopped. Miss Elsa was tearing down her birthday banner and throwing her presents about.
She seemed wild, "You ungrateful ingrates! I rescue you from the squalor of your miserable existences, and this is how you repay me? Huh? With accusations, disgusting rumors! Now, which one of you believes that I had anything to do with the disappearance of those girls?" She screeched at us.
I hugged my arms to myself. This bad. This was bad. Very bad.
"Huh? Speak up! But you're not shy about gossiping behind my back, are you? Go ahead, say it! Say it to my face!" She yelled to all of us. My stomach turned, this was not going to end well. I just knew it.
Miss Elsa went up to Toulouse who was standing on the table, "Toulouse, have you forgotten where I found you? Huh? Shackled to that chain gang, chipping away at rocks with that pathetic baby pickax? Huh? Have you forgotten who bribed the guard to let you out? Who?!" Screeching more screeching. She pushed him and he stumbled back on the table.
I hugged myself tighter. I did not feel like I was around Miss Elsa but another screaming Nazi.
"Elsa you got it all wrong." Jimmy tried reasoning with her but it did not work.
She now moved her wrath onto Salty and Pepper, "You away in that shit-smeared orphanage! Huh? Even your sister didn't want you anymore! Your family sent you away! You'd still be lying there in that urine-soaked mattress, starving, gnawing on rats." Pepper whimpered back from her. Frightened. Miss Ethel came up and comforted them.
Miss Elsa attacked her presents once more, "Look at these. Look at these! Trinkets! Shabbily made! Confectioneries! They're all meaningless! Meaningless! Meaningless! You should be ashamed. After everything that I have done for you, huh? Everything that I have sacrificed for us."
She paused and started crying, " For our family. And I still have not won your trust." Sobbing out as her voice cracked. My throat felt dry.
Jimmy stepped forward, "Elsa, calm down, course we trust you." Calmly telling her.
"Prove it to me." She cried out.
"How? T-Tell us a way. How can we convince you?" Miss Ethel was practically pleading with her.
She spun widely around, "The wheel." My eyes popped from my head. All the air was sucked from my lungs. She could not be serious!
"Nobody leaves here until one of you is strapped in and proves to me your unadulterated trust and loyalty. I will settle for nothing less." Oh my God she was serious.
There was a silence. Everyone looked at one another.
A long moment passed. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth...
"I'll do it." Jimmy spoke. I turned to him, looking at him as if he was crazy.
"No. Me. It should be me." Paul stated and I wanted to scream but no air would come out! Before I could even process what was happening Eve was strapping Paul onto the wheel.
I was shaking. I could not keep still. I felt Jimmy come up behind me. He placed his hand on my shoulder. I let out a yelp.
"Try not to miss love." Paul tried to joke. I bit my lip. I could not cry.
"I always miss darling, that's the point." Miss Elsa smiled.
"Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the most death-defying scene. It takes but a split second for this knife to travel from my fingertips to the edge of the wheel. A split second that separates life from death." She explained as if she was performing in front of a real audience.
"Spin the wheel, Eve." My throat clamped shut. My eyes met Paul. He smiled and I tried and failed to smile. I wanted to shout something, anything to him. But I could not.
The wheel started spinning and in what seemed to be a second later Miss Elsa was throwing her first knife narrowly missing the right side of Paul's head. A sound escaped from my throat but I could not make out what it was.
Miss Elsa was talking but I could not make out what she was saying. None of it mattered. Only Paul mattered.
I was biting my lip so hard I tasted blood. My chest was heaving and it was like all the air inside me was pushing down on my lungs.
She threw her second knife in between Paul's legs. More shouts and gasps. My legs almost buckled but Jimmy held me up right.
One more. Please, please please let this be over soon.
She threw her third knife.
All I heard was Paul gasping in pain. He had been stabbed in the side.
"Paul!" I screamed running over to the wheel.
Eve stopped the wheel and we frantically went to undo his restraints.
"Oh no!" Miss Elsa cried, "Oh my God! What have I done!"
Jimmy, Eve and I carried him down and gently placed him on the ground. There was blood soaking through his shirt. All of us huddled around him. Miss Elsa was crying.
"Eve no!" Jimmy and I shouted at the same time but it was too late. She pulled the knife from Paul's side eliciting a strong flow of blood from the wound.
"Oh God!" Panting I pressed my hand to the wound to try and minimize the blood flow.
"We need a doctor!" Miss Ethel shouted, "Call a doctor."
"I'll see to it." Miss Elsa cried, "Take him to the caravan."
Slowly Eve and Jimmy carried Paul into his caravan and laid him down onto his bed. Instantly I was at his side.
"Eve I need clean water. Jimmy can you go into my trailer and get my first aid kit. It is on the top shelf of my wardrobe. Miss Ethel can you hand me something clean." Barking orders every which way as I set to work.
Miss Ethel handed me towel and I turned to her, "Find me all the clean linens you have. Anything will do." Turning back to Paul as I soaked up his blood.
I waited till they all had left to go about their tasks before I broke.
The tears flooded my eyes, "Paul, my sweet Paul you have to hold on." Choking out.
He was so pale. His eyes closed shut.
"No, Paul, no. You have to keep your eyes open. Keep them open." Pressing him.
His eyes slowly opened taking every breath I had with them.
"Good, just keep them open for me." Soothing him.
Jimmy appeared with my first aid kit, "How is he?" Questioning in worry.
Wiping my hands I opened the kit and pulled out the sterilizing alcohol, "Not good. I need to clean the area or he will get an infection." I unscrewed the bottle, "Where is Miss Ethel?"
"Right here." She had a bundle of almost anything in her arms. I grabbed a clean linen cloth pouring the alcohol over it. Eve entered with the clean water in a bowl.
"Thank you all so much but right now he needs air. Could you all please wait outside, but stay nearby in case he needs something." Telling all three of them. A struggle crossed their faces. They did not want to leave their fallen comrade. But Jimmy was the first to move and Eve and Miss Ethel followed.
Turning back to Paul I noticed his forehead was drenched in sweat. Grabbing a rag from the pile I dipped it in the water Eve had left and draped it over his head.
His hand stirred, motioning me to sit down.
"What? What is it?" Frantically asking him.
"Kiss me." He breathed out.
Grabbing his face I kissed him with everything I had.
Breaking away I wiped the tears from my face, "You will be alright. I promise. I will not, I cannot lose anyone else I love." Crying in determination.
"You love me?" Paul asked in a weak smile.
All I could do was look at him, "Of course I love you, you idiot." Laughing through my tears. His smile became wider until he winced in pain bringing me back to the job I had to do.
Grabbing the scissors from my kit I cut open Paul's shirt peeling it away from him. I gasped taking in the tattoos on his chest. They were more intricate than the ones covering his arms.
They were beautiful.
In spite of everything I still managed to blush at the sight of the man I loved shirtless before me.
I grasped the sterilized linen in my hands, "This is going to sting." Warning him. I went to work trying to ignore his gasps of pain and moaning. I tried to focus and channel everything my aunt had taught me.
Once clean, I inspected the wound. The bleeding had slowed but he was still deathly pale. Where the hell was the doctor! If his wound did not get closed soon then he might risk bleeding out again.
"I'll be right back." Whispering to him, giving a kiss to his forehead.
Stepping outside the caravan I was met by everyone.
"How is he?" Suzy asked me.
"He is stable for now but if we do not close the wound soon he could risk bleeding out." Explaining to all of them. An air of dread covered everyone.
"Where is the doctor?" Frustratingly asking them.
Jimmy shook is head, "We have no idea. We thought Elsa called him."
"Paul cannot hold on much longer if we do not doing anything." I paused.
I knew what had to happen. I had seen it done before.
Closing my eyes I heard Miss Ethel say, "What are we gunna do?"
Taking a deep breath I felt my chest expand and collapse. I opened my eyes, "I will need a sort of fishing line, tackling or something. Jimmy in my trailer on my table is my sewing kit, bring it to me." Speaking in clarity.
Everyone paused taking in my requests.
"You...you don't mean to tell me..." Eve trailed.
"You can't stitch up Paul with fishing wire!" Jimmy hollered.
"What choice do we have!" Shouting back, "If we do not do anything soon he will die. I have seen stitching done before." Pausing, "It is just like sewing." Lying on the last part. I hoped it was like sewing.
"None." Jimmy solemnly answered back as he ran to get my sewing supplies.
"Somebody get me the strongest liquor you have. We will need to sedate him." Talking to anyone. They all scattered to find their secret stashes.
Stepping back inside I sat down beside Paul, taking his hand, "Do you trust me?" Asking him.
"With my life." He replied in pure certainty.
"I am going to need to stitch up the wound and it will hurt. I am sorry." Tears pricking my eyes.
"Do what you need to do love. I trust you." Paul smiled as best as he could.
Pressing my forehead to his I prayed with all my strength to my papa and mama for guidance and confidence. I cannot believe I was going to do this.
Paul had drunken the strongest whiskey Suzy could find. I sterilized one of my sewing needles and the fishing wire.
I was trying to hide my shaking so badly. I really contemplated taking a few sips of that whiskey but I advised against it. I needed a clear head.
"Hey." Jimmy spoke. I turned to face him, "If anyone has this, it's you." He told me. He was staying in the room in case Paul need to be...restrained.
I gulped oh God I was completely insane, "Paul I am going to begin now." Squeaking out.
He murmured a drunken yes and smiled.
Taking the needle in my hand I had to will my hands to stop shaking so I could thread the needle.
I stared at Paul.
One minute passed, then two. Three.
I put the needle down. Jimmy was about to speak but I stopped him.
Bending my head I pressed my hands together in prayer, "Gerbiamas teta Morta, prašome žiūrėti per žmogų myliu. Apsaugoti jį ir laikyti jį išsaugoti . Duok man jėgų."
Without a second thought or tremor in my hand I picked up the needle and stuck it through Paul's skin. He made an audible moan but it was not too horrible. I kept going. Pushing out the noises of Paul and his pain. I only focused on the needle's motions. Going in and out, in and out.
It took almost and hour. I did not think it should have been that long but I was painstakingly thorough not missing any detail. I did not want Paul to have a nasty scar.
I knew what it was like to be stuck with something forever on your body that you absolutely loathed.
When it was done I stared at Paul. He was asleep. I was not sure when he had passed out.
Jimmy came over and hugged my shoulders, "You did so great." He whispered and kissed my head. I do not know why but for some reason I burst into tears after he did this. Jimmy did not do anything except hold me tight until I was finished crying. I hugged him hard letting all of my pain out.
"I am sorry." Hiccuping as I pulled away from him.
"We've all had a rough night." Was all he said.
I do not know how long Paul was asleep but I stayed next to him the whole time. Eve, Jimmy, Miss Ethel even Meep tried to relieve me but I was not moving. I was rooted to the chair beside him.
The whole time all I did was watch him. I did not fall asleep. I did not let my mind wander to dark places. I just simply watched the man I love sleep.
If it was not obvious before that we were together it was now. The thought made me laugh.
"Madalina?" Paul stirred.
"Yes Paul." Sprinting from the chair to his side.
He opened his beautiful eyes for me.
"How are you feeling?" Replacing the cloth on his head.
"I'm alright love. Just sore." He smiled. I grabbed a glass of water and held it to his lips. He drank, thankfully.
I put the glass down and stared out his window. The night was still strong and full.
"What is it love?" He asked me.
What an absurd question to be asking me! I was supposed to be asking him if he was okay. I did not get stabbed by a knife, he did!
"You could have died tonight." I was so sick and tired of crying but yet I started crying again!
"Madalina." Paul soothed, "I'm going to be fine. Thanks to you."
"There is something I need to tell you." Whispering.
He waited but the words would not come out.
"Just take your time sweetheart." Paul rubbed my arm.
I pulled my arms away from him. I knew he was confused and hurt. I would have to do this quickly.
My hand would not stop shaking, and I did not think I would be able to stop it.
Slowly I pulled up the left sleeve of my cardigan.
"I have not told you everything about me." Whispering to him.
My Auschwitz tattoo was the only thing in the room we focused on.
Barely hearing myself, "Do you know what a concentration camp is?"