Chapter 8

The sound of whimpering woke me up what seemed like minutes after I fell asleep. When I open my eyes I see Natalie standing in front of me with tears pouring down her face.

"Natalie, honey, what's wrong?" I ask as I sat up and reached for her.

She climbs into my arms and starts sobbing. I figure that everything has finally hit her. I hold her for a long time and just let her cry. Eventually she falls back to sleep, so I carry her back to the bed and climb in with her. She continues to cry in her sleep and make those awful gasping sounds that you just can't help after crying so hard.

We sleep until after ten in the morning. I wake up to her bright blue eyes watching me.

"Can we talk?" she asks.

"Of course, but first I need to use the bathroom. I'll be right back," I say, hopping out of bed as quickly as I can. While in the bathroom I try to gather my wits so I can talk to her about what happened and what I'd like to do now. I try to remind myself that she may not want to live with me and that this is probably overwhelming for her.

I take a few deep breaths and head back to the bed where she is waiting. "Okay, kiddo. Let's talk."

"My mom is gone," she says flatly. I don't know what I expected her to say but that was most certainly not it. I don't even know how to respond to that statement.

"She may not be dead but she's gone. I could feel it when I held her hand and when I kissed her. She's not there anymore."

"Oh honey," is all I can say. There are no words for this.

"I don't want her to live on that machine. She would hate it. She always said that if she had to live like that, it wasn't really living. I can't leave her like that."

"I know honey, but you are just a child, they won't let you make that decision. Not yet."

"I know but no one else can make it. They won't let you," she states very clearly. I feel like I am speaking to someone in their forties instead of a child.

"I know. We will figure something out. Let's see how she does the next few days, okay."

"Yeah, okay. So Dr. Walsh asked me if I wanted to live with you for a while, I want to if that's okay with you," she says, changing the subject.

"Of course I want you to live with me. I wanted to talk to you about that anyway. I can't adopt you because your mom can't exactly sign over custody to me but I can become your guardian until her situation changes."

"I'd like that. Bella, I don't think she is going to wake up," she says.

"I don't either but you never know. She could get a miracle."

"Yeah, I guess. If she does wake up, I don't think I can go back to her. I don't like being alone."

"I don't want you to either. Maybe we can talk to a lawyer and see what options we have. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah. I feel bad but she didn't care enough about me to keep me safe so why should I care about her feelings," she says angrily. I can see that she has spent a bit of time thinking about everything.

"Honey, she cared about you. I don't agree with how she did it but she tried very hard to take care of you. She was just alone and poor so she made a lot of bad decisions where you were concerned."

"I know but you told her not to have those men in our apartment and she did it anyway. He was going to kill her and then he wanted to kill me. I think he was going to hurt me like he was hurting her."

"I know baby, and that's why I was banging on that door. I would have done anything to protect you at that moment."

"Bella, what is rape?" she asks. I feel my breath catch in my throat.

"Where did you hear that word?"

"I heard mom saying it while he was behind her. I also heard one of the doctors at the hospital ask for a rape kit. They said I had to be checked since I was asleep when the para- um ambulance guys got to me."

"I'm so sorry honey that must have been awful. Um, well rape is when a, in this case, man forces a woman to have sex even though they don't want to," I say knowing I am just opening the door for more questions.

"What is sex? Is that what happens when people kiss? Like in the movies," she asks with innocent curiosity.

"Yeah, kind of. Kissing is part of it but it's a lot more than that. I don't think you are really old enough to hear about all of this yet."

"I know that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. One of the boys at school said that he saw what sex was and it looked gross. He said that the man puts his penis inside the woman's vagina and that is sex."

"Well that's true, I guess you know all about it then," I say trying to keep my face neutral. How in the world did an eight year old boy see sex? "Enough about that for now. How would you like to go to the zoo today?"

"Oh my gosh, that would be awesome! I've never been there." She starts bouncing gently on the bed.

"That's great. I thought that maybe we could go today and if it's okay with you that maybe Officer Cullen could come with us."

"Do you like him? He's really cute!" she giggles.

"Yeah I think I do like him. He is pretty cute isn't he?"

"Yes he is. I don't care if he comes today as long as he doesn't wear his uniform. That would just be weird," she says laughing.

"Yes it would. I'll call him. Maybe we can meet for lunch and then go."

"Bella, can Charles come too?"

I really want to say no but she has bonded with my dad so I see no reason not to ask him. "I don't know but I will ask him. Why don't you go get dressed and brush your teeth while I call Charlie and Edward."

"Okay!" she says as she practically runs to the bathroom and shuts the door, only to have to come back out and get her clothes and tooth brush. I just laugh at her silliness.