Chapter 11

When my eyes opened the first thing I did was look at the time. It was only nine thirty but it felt much later. I felt rested. I then looked at the beautiful people lying next to me. Natalie was curled into Edward's chest and holding on to his t-shirt tightly. Edward was lying on his side facing the center of the bed with one hand tucked under his head where his pillow should have been. His pillow was between he and Natalie separating their bodies but Natalie had gotten as close as she could to him. His face was relaxed and peaceful. I resisted kissing both of their cheeks so as not to wake them. I slid out of the bed and grabbed my phone. I sneaked off to the bathroom to take a shower.

I took my time cleaning up and shaving. It felt so good to take all the time I wanted in the shower. When I got out I wrapped in a large towel and headed to the bedroom to change. As I was standing over my bag trying to figure out what to wear I heard a light knock on the door. I froze because I knew Natalie would have spoken to me before she knocked. It had to be Edward. I took a quick calming breath and turned around to face him. "Good morning, did you sleep well?" I asked.

"Yeah, Natalie woke up three times, but once she came to sleep with us she seemed to settle down easily," he said never taking his eyes off my face.

"I'm sorry she got up so much. Was she having nightmares or just waking up?" I asked while trying to keep the towel in a decent place. The movement of my hands brought his eyes to where they were moving.

"The first time was a pretty bad nightmare but the other two were her just being restless. I think she was afraid to fall asleep again," he spoke while perusing my body openly this time.

"Yeah, she's had some really bad ones since the incident. I'm afraid of what she is seeing in her dreams. Thanks for being here for her."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. It was nice to get to fall asleep next to you. Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

I blush. "Yeah, I did. What did I say?"

"Not much. You called out for Natalie a few times and cried a few times although I couldn't understand what you were saying. You said my name a few times too," he says with a smile while moving closer to me. I feel chill bumps rise on my skin just from knowing he is going to touch me. When he reaches me he softly runs his hands down my arms from my shoulders. My whole body responds and I shiver.

"I'm sorry, I should let you get dressed," Edward says but his actions contradict his words as he never removes his hands or moves back from me.

"Probably, but can I have a kiss first?" I boldly ask.

"You never have to ask for that."

He leans down and captures my lips with his in a strong kiss. I soon find myself leaning fully into his body and wrapping my arms around his neck. I slide my hands onto the back of his head feeling the cropped hair and pressing him further to me. He moans when I scrape his head with my short nails. That moan sets a fire in my lower abdomen. When I feel his hands on my back I realize that my towel has probably slipped down because the heat from his hands is on my bare skin. I moan and have to resist the urge to wrap my legs around his hips. I pull away from his kisses all the while keeping my body pinned to his.

"I think we better stop. My towel is nearly falling off."

"I hadn't noticed," he replies coyly while scraping my back with his fingertips. I shiver again. "I think I like that response."

"You would. Can you please pull the back of the towel up while I try not to flash you?" I ask trying to grab the front of the towel before I pull back. He slides the towel up my back and holds it in place. I think I have both sides of the towel in my hand and take a step back but when he lets go; I suddenly feel the towel slide off the left side of my body. I hear his breath catch and know that I am showing him my left boob and the rest of that side of my body. I try to catch the falling towel but by the time I react it has gathered on my right side. So now I am basically standing there with only one boob covered and I'm afraid to look to see how much of the rest of me is exposed. Edward tries to overt his eyes but I notice him taking short looks at different parts of me.

I realize that the only way to correct the towel is to turn or bend down but I just can't move. Edward walks over to the door and closes it, twisting the lock. My breath catches in my throat and I feel the heat come over me. I want so badly for him to touch me but I don't want to rush this. I try to say that but all I manage to get out is "Edward," in a whisper.

"Bella, you are so beautiful. I'm sorry for staring and I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable but may I please look at you."

I don't answer. I just stand there clutching the towel like a lifeline. I know he won't push me. I know he won't ask me to do something I'm not ready for. Once what I know in my heart catches up with my brain, I simply drop the towel to the floor. I want to close my eyes and wait for what's next but I can't stop watching his face. I notice movement and my eyes drift to his hands he is stuffing in his pockets. I smile, knowing he is trying to be good.

"Sorry, if I don't put them in my pocket I won't be able to keep from touching you."

"I figured that," I barely get out as I pull the towel from my hair.

"You are lovely. I hope you know that. Your skin is flawless. Do you work out or are you naturally this toned?"

Now that he's pointing things out I start to get self-conscious. "I work out. Well I used to, before I moved to Seattle."

"Well your abs are amazing and you must be a runner because your legs are as well."

"Thanks."

He continues to look at me some more and moves closer a step at a time. My heart is beating out of my chest by the time he is about a foot from me. I move to cover myself but he grabs my hands. "Please don't. You're gorgeous." He wraps his and my arms around my back and my body is flush with his.

"Thank you," I breathe. I tip my head back and look fully into his eyes. They are smoldering. The green is somehow darker and there are gold flecks that look like they are dancing in them. I am mesmerized by them, to the point that I don't even notice him moving us. When I finally realize I'm no longer standing in the center of the room, I have been pressed against the wall and his lips are on mine. He wastes no time parting my mouth and exploring me with his tongue. I am a moaning puddle of goo. He still has my hands trapped in his behind my back. I squeeze his fingers and he lets go. As soon as his hands are free they are everywhere. He seems to be trying to memorize my body with his touch. I take the opportunity to pull away from his kisses and he immediately attacks my neck. I have never felt so wanted; so needed. I begin pulling his shirt up and off. I can't see his body but I can feel it; every ridge and ripple of his abs. His back is so solid and I'd bet that the muscles are perfectly defined. I can feel his hardness pressed against my belly. I want to rub against him but there is a tiny, rational part of my brain still functioning that keeps me from doing it.

My mouth is taken over again and I can feel the beads of sweat on his forehead against mine. I can smell the arousal in the room. I know that if he were to reach between us he'd find me a wet, needy mess. He is a perfect gentleman though and his hands never really push those unspoken boundaries. He grazes my nipples and feels the weight of my breasts in his hands but never more than barely touches them.

"Edward. We have to stop," I whisper between kisses.

"I know," he replies although he only just slows down.

"Edward, we really need to stop. Natalie should be waking up any time."

He stops kissing my neck and rests his head on my shoulder. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to stop right now."

I just chuckle and say, "Oh I have a pretty good idea," while pressing myself against the bulge in his jeans.

"I suppose you do, I'm sorry," he says still trying to catch his breath.

"Don't be sorry. I quite enjoyed myself. I'm glad I have that effect on you."

He straightens up and steps away picking my towel up off the floor and handing it to me. "I really don't want to rush into anything but I just couldn't seem to help myself. You are a vixen, young lady." While I fix the towel I watch him put his t-shirt back on. His body is so sculpted. All the ridges I was feeling earlier I can now see stretch and contract as his shirt falls over them. I have to remind myself that we are having a conversation.

"No, I'm not. I was merely trying to get dressed when you took advantage of me."

I try to act indignant but fail miserably. "The only reason you are getting away with that is because you didn't know I was awake when you got out of the shower."

"Whatever!" I laugh at him. "I have to get dressed," I say and he turns to leave. "You might as well stay, you've seen all there is to see at this point."

He stops, turns around and with a crooked grin he says, "Well almost all."

I blush again. I cannot win with this guy. I wrap the towel all the way around myself and set about finding clothes.

I find a pair of pink cotton boy shorts and a white bra. I slip the panties on under the towel much to Edward's chagrin. So to make up for the tease I drop the towel and put the bra on very slowly. He just shakes his head at me. "Evil, you are."

"Okay Yoda. Dressed I must get," I say laughing. I pick up a pair of skinny jeans and a baby doll style tank top. "What are we doing today? I need to call the therapist and the hospital but I'd like to keep Natalie busy again. That strategy seems to be working well."

"Well I was thinking about meeting Alice and Jasper at the park. They have a daughter that is six. Maybe it would be good for Natalie to play with her."

"Aww, why didn't you mention before that you were an uncle? That sound perfect," I say.

"I don't know. It didn't really come up. Jamie is a little spitfire like her mom but she looks just like Jasper. I don't get to spend much time with her because of work but she is a fun little kid."

I slip the jeans on as gracefully as one can slip on a pair of skinny jeans. The top takes a little adjustment to get just right but quite quickly I am done and sliding into a pair of ballet flats. My hair is a mess I'm sure. I find a mirror to peek into and sure enough my hair looks like a rat's nest. "Look at this mess!"

"I like it. It sort of has that freshly fucked look about it."

"Um yeah, do you know how hard it will be to brush out now?" I complain.

"Are you complaining? Because I can learn to keep my hands to myself if that would help."

"Oh dear lord, no, I'm definitely not complaining. You are welcome to do that anytime you want."

He just smiles and kisses my nose. "Let's go check on our girl."

Hearing him call Natalie 'our girl' warmed me from the inside out.

I grab a hairbrush from the bathroom and follow him into the sitting room. Natalie is in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal.

"Good morning!" she says with a mouth full of Captain Crunch.

"Good morning baby. You didn't have to make yourself something to eat. I would have done it," I say running the brush through my crazy hair.

"It's okay. I'm used to doing it. You guys were busy so I decided to go ahead and eat."

I blushed and so did Edward. "Well, Miss Natalie, would you like to go to the park today and meet some of my family?"

"Oh my, gosh, yes."

"Ok then go get dressed and we will leave in a little while," I say.

She drinks the milk from her bowl and hops down, hugging us both on her way out of the room.

I clean up her mess. If she didn't leave a puddle of milk and cereal on the counter I'd forget she's only nine. Edward tells me he's going to run home and get cleaned up. "I'll be back within an hour." He kisses me and heads out. I take the opportunity to call Dr. McCarty's office.

"Perspectives, this is Lydia. May I help you?" a chipper voice says on the phone.

"Hi. I was referred to Dr. McCarty from Dr. Walsh. I need to make an appointment for my, dau, um foster daughter," I say clumsily. I hadn't given much thought to what I would call Natalie.

"Of course, what is your name?"

"Bella Swan. My daughter's name is Natalie Larks."

"Ok. How soon did you need to have her seen?"

"As soon as possible, she's been through a pretty traumatic experience in the last three days."

"Ok, how about this afternoon? Would four o'clock work for you?"

"Oh wow, yes definitely. We'll take it," I say happily surprised.

She schedules the appointment and takes Natalie's information. Once I have directions to the office we hang up.

Now I have to call the hospital and check on Heidi. I am dreading this conversation. I spend a few minutes trying to get to the ICU nurses station. Once I am finally connected, a sweet nurse named Lauren gives me some information and tells me that Dr. Cullen wants to speak to me.

Turns out that Heidi is progressively getting worse, she's not stabilizing. I am trying to wrap my head around how to tell Natalie when Dr. Cullen picks up the phone.

"Miss Swan, thank you for calling. I'm afraid I have some very bad news," he says.

"Yes Lauren was saying Heidi had a very rough night."

"Rough may be a bit of an understatement. She coded three times last night. We did some new tests today and found that she has some extensive organ damage. Some from the beating and some from disease; it appears she has hepatitis C. It's unclear if she even knew about it. She has very little in the way of medical history."

"Oh my. How bad is it?"

"Well her liver is basically not working at all and her kidneys are failing. Her heart is, for lack of a better definition, exhausted. Her right lung is bruised. Honestly it's as if she was beaten from the inside out."

"What do you recommend we do?"

"Honestly if she had not suffered such horrific spine and brain injuries, I'd say do whatever it took to get her better. However, her brain function is nearly non-existent. The spinal cord injuries are not something she'll overcome. There's very little hope for her even if she recovers from all the rest of her problems it is extremely likely she will never wake up," he says and then pauses for a moment before finishing, "I would recommend turning off the machines and letting her go."

"We can't make that decision for her though."

"I know but I can. She is not going to make it through multiple attempts to restart her heart. I don't look for her to survive for more than a few more days at most."

"Dr. Cullen, what exactly are you saying?"

"I can't pull the plug, so to speak, but I know from experience that her heart is not going to hold out much longer and the strain on her kidneys is not helping. She needs dialysis, which you cannot authorize. So we will keep her on the ventilator and keep her sedated but if she codes again and we can't bring her back, she will be gone. Like I said, she may have a few days at most."

"Ok. I guess I'll talk to Natalie about coming to see her and find out about what arrangements we need to make. Thank you so much for being so up front with me."

"Of course. Miss Swan, I'll be happy to help with anything I can," he offers.

"Dr. Cullen, please call me Bella."

"I mean it Bella, my wife and I would like to help as much as possible. You've won the heart of our son and what you are doing for Miss Larks and her daughter is remarkable."

"Thank you. Your son is a great man and I love Natalie so it's not so remarkable. I actually feel pretty fortunate to have her and Edward right now."

He gives me Esme Cullen's phone number and tells me to call her if I need help planning the funeral or anything else. He said to be careful because she is dying to meet me.

Natalie emerged from the bedroom about half way through my conversation with Dr. Cullen and tried to look like she wasn't paying attention to my conversation by watching cartoons. I knew it was a farce when I saw the tears on her cheeks.

"Baby, how much of that conversation did you hear?" I ask, wiping the tears away.

"All of your side. I could hear you in the bedroom. I also heard you make the appointment with the thera, ther-pist," she says stumbling over the word therapist.

"Yes, you have an appointment at four today."

"So my mom's not gonna be ok is she," she says like she knew already.

"No baby. She's not. Dr. Cullen says she probably won't make it more than a few more days. I'm so sorry honey," I say.

"Okay, I kinda had a feeling. Can we go see her tomorrow, or maybe tonight after the doctor? I want to say good-bye," she says as a tear streaks down her pale cheek.

"Of course sweetie," I cry. I pull her into me for a strong hug, letting her cry. She sobs for her mother or for herself, I don't know. I know she is too young to have to deal with all of this and I hate the man who did this. I hate Heidi for doing this to her. I hate that no one was there for Heidi all her life. I hate that this sweet baby is bawling right now. We stand in the kitchen crying and holding each other when there is a knock at the door. I struggle to pick Natalie up and carry her the ten feet to the door. I let Edward in and he immediately moves to take her from my arms. She may be tiny for her age but she's not a whole lot shorter than I am so I happily let him take her. She wraps herself around him and cries softly. He pats her head and strokes her hair. I continue to cry, the sweetness in front of me only adding to the emotion. He motions to me with one arm while holding Natalie with the other. He wraps his arm around me and sooths us both. When Natalie has finally gotten it all out she looks up at him and smiles.

"Can we go now?" she asks.

"Of course, honey. Go wash your face and we'll head to the park," Edward answers.

She hops down and runs off. He pulls me to him and hugs me tightly. "Bad news?" he asks.

"Yeah, your dad said that Heidi probably won't make it more than a few days. We are going to see her tonight. Natalie has an appointment with Dr. McCarty today at four."

"Oh wow. That's terrible. Good thing you got her in quickly. She obviously needs to let it out."

I wash my face in the kitchen sink then when Natalie emerges from the bathroom I head in to put on a bit of make-up. My face is puffy and my eyes are red from crying so I still look terrible. When I come back out Natalie is bouncing in place.

"Ready to go?" Edward asks.

"Yep," I answer.

"Finally!" Natalie jokingly grumbles.

I just smile at her, seeing her joke around is so nice.