I am sorry this took so long. Real life has been unkind to my writing time. Please rest assured that I will not abandon this story, I love these characters and poor Natalie needs a happy ending. That being said this chapter is tough because she has her first therapy appointment and saying good bye to her mom looms.
Chapter 12
At the park Natalie played with Jamie. She is a little shy at first but it doesn't take her long to take on the big sister role. Jamie will be seven in a few months but as an only child she was a little more grown up. She and Natalie got along great. Natalie is sometimes so grown up it is hard to remember she's only nine. I was thrilled that she was acting like a normal little girl. The sweet inquisitive little girl I met in the hallway was back today. They played on the monkey bars and acted like princesses in the 'castle' tower at the top of the slide. They giggled when Edward chased them. They became lifelong friends in an instant.
Alice is everything I could ever want in a girlfriend. She's very nice. She asks a lot of questions but she doesn't come off as nosey. She genuinely wants to get to know you. It is nice to have someone besides Edward to talk to. She is very petite like me; we are actually the same size. She has shoulder length dark hair and olive skin. She is very Mediterranean looking. She has light green almost gray eyes. Edward's are similar but his are more green than gray. I would almost bet that Alice's eyes change color with her moods.
Jasper is observant. I guess that helps in his line of work. He didn't say a whole lot to me but he paid close attention to what Alice and I talked about when he wasn't chasing the girls around with Edward. Edward kind of left me to talk with Alice and Jasper while he played with the girls. He would occasionally stop and kiss my cheek or run his hand across my hip as he ran by. I caught him smiling at me a few times. We made plans for a night out with Alice and Jasper; of course we had no idea when it would actually happen.
Natalie and I had to head out around three to be able to make it to her appointment. She didn't want to leave but she didn't throw a fit. She hugged Jamie, Alice and Jasper, promising to see them again soon. Edward walked me to my car, carrying Natalie the whole way. He gave her a little pep talk as he helped her with her seatbelt.
"Everything will be fine, kiddo. Just remember the doctor can't help you understand what you won't tell her about. You can call me tonight if you want," he tells her. She nods at him and smiles.
He kisses her forehead and then stands up, shutting the door. He pulls me in for a big hug. "Call me if you need anything. I know today is going to really hard and I don't want you thinking you have to do it alone. I'll be there in a blink if you call," he says.
"I know. Thank you," I say knowing I won't call him unless I really can't cope or Natalie needs him. He has to sleep before work.
"I mean it, Bella," he scolds, reading my thoughts.
I just nod and kiss him. He is reluctant at first but relaxes and lets me have control of his mouth. Once I feel like I have lingered too long I pull back and move to get in my car. "I'll talk to you tonight. Call me on your break," I say.
"That won't be until after two in the morning. I'll just talk to you in the morning," he replies.
"It will be fine. I'll probably be up. Jasper says the apartment is nearly ready and I want to figure out our next steps."
"Okay, if you're sure," he says as he leans in the window to kiss me one last time. I nod and smile, start the car and ease out on the street.
"Bella, are we moving back to the apartment?" Natalie asks from the back seat.
"I don't know. Do you want to?"
"Not really but I don't want you to have to move again."
"Oh honey, don't you worry about that. I want you to feel safe and besides we need a bigger place now," I say hoping to reassure her.
"Yeah, I guess we do," she says smiling widely.
"I'll search for some places to go see. Maybe we can move in a week or so," I say hopefully. "So are you ready to talk to the therapist?"
"Yeah, I think so," she says nervously.
We drive the rest of the way in relative silence. She sang along with the radio with her eyes closed and head tilted back. When we pulled up outside the office, I was worried she had fallen asleep. I got out and opened her door. I didn't want to scare her if she was really asleep.
"Natalie, baby, we're here," I whispered.
"I know. I'm awake," she said with a smile. She was faking it.
"Silly girl!"
She popped the buckle open and hopped out. "Let's go!" she said.
We walk across the street and into the lobby. At the first desk we find out we have to go up to the fourth floor. We take the elevator, Natalie pushing the button, to the right floor. When the doors open we enter into the waiting room of Dr. McCarty's office. 'Perspectives' is a fitting name as there are framed prints of the "Eagle" sculpture at Olympic Sculpture Park. Each photo is taken from a different angle or distances making the sculpture look completely different. The room is painted beige with blue accents. The only other color in the room is the red from the sculpture in the photos. Natalie finds a seat while I check her in. The woman at the desk is a young woman with blonde hair pulled up into a smart ponytail. She is smiling warmly at me.
"Welcome to Perspectives, I'm Lydia."
"Hi, thank you. I am Bella Swan. Natalie Larks has an appointment at four with Dr. McCarty."
"Oh yes. I need you to fill out these forms for her," she says handing me a clipboard with a stack of paper attached. "Also, because of the nature of the case both Dr. McCarty and Dr. Weber will meet with you today."
"Oh ok, that's good, I suppose," I say, thinking that maybe then Natalie won't have to repeat her story if she ends up having to see Dr. Weber.
"Just have a seat and they will be with you shortly," Lydia says with a patient smile.
I sit down and start filling out what I can on the forms. I know the basics and only have to ask Natalie a few questions. Before I'm even through the second sheet, the door to the waiting room opens and a stunning blonde is calling Natalie's name. We both rise and walk towards her. She is like the sun and we are pulled towards her. She bends to greet Natalie with a warm smile and a pat on the back. Natalie beams at her. I have to shake my head to clear my thoughts. She is just so damn beautiful. Usually when I meet women this gorgeous I feel inferior but for some reason I don't this time. It's a strange feeling. She smiles and greets me, "Miss Swan, Dr. Walsh sings your praises. I'm happy to finally meet you."
"Well thank you, but I don't see why she insists on being so complimentary. Once you meet Natalie you'll see why it's a no brainer to help her." I say knowing exactly what Dr. Walsh has said.
"If you worked in our field you'd more than understand why we praise people who step up when no one else will."
"Yes, I suppose that's true."
We follow her back to a large room filled with toys and small tables. Natalie's eyes light up and she is suddenly anxious. Her anxiety registers with Dr. McCarty and she immediately questions it.
"Natalie, is something wrong?"
"Oh no, I thought we were supposed to talk. This looks like a toy store," she says looking around slightly confused.
"We will talk but I really like to be in this room. It is just so much fun."
"Oh ok," she says as she heads to a small table covered with coloring books and a basket of crayons. "May I color in these books?"
I can tell she's nervous because she is being very quiet and overly polite. Well not overly polite but uncharacteristically formal. Dr. McCarty nods her ascent and Natalie gets comfortable at the table.
I watch her as Dr. McCarty leads me to a sofa and chair set up across the room. We both sit and she takes a notebook from the case I didn't even know she was carrying. "Miss Swan, I'd like to first speak to you and then when Angela gets done with her patient, she and I will speak to Natalie. You won't be in the room but I will set you up in the next room so you can hear and see us." She points to the mirror on the far wall.
"Ok that sounds good. First may I ask a question?" I say and she nods. "I am just beginning a relationship with Edward Cullen. Will this be a problem; he mentioned you are a friend of his."
"Oh my, you are 'the' Bella. I'm so happy to meet you. Edward has told me so much about you. He didn't mention that you would be calling me though. As long as it is not a problem for you I don't see any reason why I couldn't take Natalie on. Dr. Weber, Angela, is a very skilled and quite gifted therapist so she and I will work together if we see reason to. I like to have a backup plan. In case she needs something and I'm not available."
"Okay. She has been through so much. We have to go to the hospital today to see her mother. It appears she will likely pass away very soon."
"Have you noticed any anger from Natalie regarding her mom?"
"Yes but then she seems to feel guilty about it. She seems so grown up one minute and then she is playful and silly like a child the next. She's having nightmares too."
"I'm sure she is. The notes that Dr. Walsh gave me are pretty thorough. Natalie witnessed something that would torment most adults. Has she asked any questions about what she saw?" she asks while taking down some notes.
"Yeah she asked me, what rape was?" I tell her; just remembering that conversation makes me want to cry.
"Ok, how did you answer her?"
"I told her that rape is when someone forces someone else to have sex. Then she told me that a boy at school told her what sex is. He wasn't lying according to her story and I told her that she wasn't ready to know more than that."
I hope I wasn't wrong in that decision. What is it about sitting in front of a therapist that makes you second guess everything?
"Oh wow. Good job. How did she handle that?"
"Ha, really well, I distracted her with a trip to the zoo."
"See you were born to be a parent!" she says with a laugh. "So when did she find out her mom was dying?"
"This morning. She bawled so hard I had to pick her up. Edward came in just in time. He ended up holding her for a while. He was able to soothe her."
"She isn't afraid of him?" she says sounding a little surprised.
"Of Edward? No way! She loves him. He is so good to her too. Come to think of it, she doesn't seem to be scared or nervous around any men. At least not that I have seen."
"Oh well that's really good. Surprising, but very good news."
Just then a tall woman with long brown hair comes in the door. She is also quite beautiful in an unassuming way. I smile at her and she comes over to the couch. "Hi, Miss Swan, I am Dr. Weber."
"Please call me Bella. Both of you, I would really prefer it."
"Same here. Please call me Angela," she says, smiling widely.
"Well I don't prefer it but you are welcome to call me Rose," she says with a laugh.
"How about we talk to Natalie now?" Rose asks.
"Of course," I say, looking to see Natalie is watching us like a hawk. "I think she's ready."
I walk over to where she is coloring and squat down, "Honey, I'm going to let the doctors speak with you. I'll be just outside if you need me. Remember what Edward said and be a brave girl. They just want to help you understand what's going on."
"I know. I will," she says confidently. All my worries dissipate. She is ready to talk and she is so grown up. Too grown up!
I kiss her head and stand up. As I head out the door, Angela leads me to the adjacent room and sets up the sound system. Soon Rose's voice fills the room.
"She'll be fine. She is pretty strong and it seems that she is very grown up for a child her age. I think we will actually get to hear a lot from her today. That's rare for us. Most kids just sit and let us talk the first few sessions."
"Oh well that's good to know. She's definitely ready to talk. She has so many conflicting emotions going on right now." I take my seat and watch as Rose starts coloring the page next to Natalie's current work of art. As Angela enters the room I hear Rose begin her introductions and start asking Natalie questions to get her talking. However, Natalie doesn't really need any kind of leading and jumps right in with her first statement.
"My mom is going to die. Probably very soon; Did Bella tell you that?"
Rose doesn't miss a beat. "Yep, she sure did. She also said that you were very upset when you found out."
Natalie nods and a tear falls on the paper. She doesn't wipe it off; instead she moves the book away from her. "I feel bad because she didn't have to get hurt. She didn't have to let him come over. She could have told him no, but she didn't. It's like she didn't care that it wasn't safe. Bella made her promise that she wouldn't have the men over when I was there, she said she wouldn't do that," she cries, tears pouring from her eyes.
"Sometimes adults make bad decisions. Do you think she didn't care?" Angela asks.
"No, I think she was scared." Natalie answers. I am floored; where did that come from.
"Scared? Why would you think that?" Rose asks.
"She was always worried about money. Always. Like we weren't rich or anything but we had everything we needed. She just always said it wasn't enough. We always had food. Well, almost always but I always had something to eat. We had clothes and water and a place to live. If I got sick, I went to the doctor. If I needed shoes or something for school, she would get it. I didn't see her very much but I always knew she was coming home."
"Let's talk about that for a second," Angela says, halting Natalie's one sided conversation. "Did you know where you mom was when she was gone for a long time?" She is referencing the days spent in jail.
"No but when she got back she was better. She always looked so tired except for after she was gone for a few days. She would need a bath but she wasn't tired anymore. She didn't take very good care of herself," she says sadly.
"How so?" Rose probes.
"Well, she didn't eat very much and she didn't get much sleep. Once Bella came though, she did better. She was still very tired but she ate a lot more."
"That's good. Bella helped a lot didn't she?" Angela asks.
"Oh gosh, yes! She bought me lots of snacks and let me play at her apartment. Mom asked her to let me spend the night and I got to stay with her almost every night. It was so much fun."
"Natalie, I'm happy Bella was there for you. Now I have to ask some questions that might be kind of hard to answer but I want you to be honest," Rosalie says.
Natalie nods and looks at her hands.
"Before Bella came, did your mom ever hit you?"
Natalie nods again. "Yes, she didn't do it a lot, only when I went out of the apartment while she was gone or if I didn't clean up my messes."
"Where did she hit you? Was it like a spanking on the bottom?" Angela asks.
"Most of the time she would spank me but if I was really bad she would slap my face. It hurt more when she did that."
"Were there ever any times when she hit you somewhere else?"
"Yes, one time she grabbed my arm," she points to her upper arm, "and dragged me to my room. Then she started hitting me all over. I cried and asked her to stop but she just kept yelling and hitting me. I had to miss school the next day because my arms and legs were bruised pretty bad."
"Oh honey, I'm sorry that happened. Why did she do that?" Rosalie asks.
"I left the apartment to go play outside and was still outside when she got home. I usually got back inside before she got home but she came home early that time. She was mad when I opened the door to the apartment. I knew I was in trouble but it was so much worse than ever before," Natalie says, starting to cry again.
"Okay well, I just want you to know that you didn't do anything to deserve that. No one deserves to be hit like that. Do you understand me, honey?" Rosalie says, with sadness in her voice.
"I know. I think she was mad about something else before she got mad at me too. Are we done now?"
"Yeah, we are. Can you come back next week to see us again?" Angela asks.
"Yeah, but I'll have to talk to Bella about it," she says sounding grown up again.
"Ok great! I'll tell Bella to make an appointment before you leave. It was great talking to you today. I'm really happy you came to see us!" Rosalie says as she stands up.
Angela and Natalie follow her to the door. I meet them in the hallway.
"Bella! Can I come back next week?" Natalie says a little too loudly as she runs to me. She wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me tightly.
"Of course, Honey. We'll make an appointment on the way out," I say. We head to the desk and make an appointment for the following Thursday. I smile at Natalie as I grab the appointment card.
Natalie smiles widely and then suddenly tears streak down her cheeks. "We have to go to hospital now, don't we?" she asks.
I nod and feel the tears well in my eyes. "Let's go eat something first." I hug her to my side and we turn to leave.
We eat a small meal at a local fast food place in relative silence. The weight of what's coming holding Natalie down. I want to tell her she doesn't have to go but I feel like if she doesn't say good bye she will regret it. I just want to keep her from hurting so much.
After she has finished the last French fry on her tray she looks down, takes a deep breath and lifts her blue eyes to my face. "I'm ready now," is all she says.