A/N: A special thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter.

Midnight Shadows Starlight - The first person who reviewed. Thanks. Here have some chocolate chip cookies. I'm not sure about crawling under the blanket though.

crazygirl18 - Yea, your right. Here, have a cookie too.

lysabelle - Here you go, the first chapter. (:

littledoggy - I don't know how soon is soon. But, I updated ne.

glenda23 - It's the amazing Persona.

dbzgtfan2004 - Yeah, Natsume and Mikan 4ever.

natsumeluvr - Persona is always cool ne.

Disclaimer - I honestly DO NOT own Gakuen Alice. So please, DO NOT waste your precious rabbits to hire a lawyer.

True Smile

Chapter 1

Three years ago...

The melting snow on the palm of my hand is comforting. Quietly, the cold wintry wind blowing through my hair.

I love it, this cold feeling and the snow that covered everything. A thick white blanket covering all there is to be covered. It is a beautiful sight, the vacant look feels familiar to me. Maybe because that is what I feel right now.

Empty, so empty. Even in the emptiness, the snow is sparkling with its own inner beauty. I want to keep the unmeasured sparkle forever. Of course, that is impossible. Just like myself, I can no longer keep up this charade, this insecurity I feel is too much.

I have been through a lot of things in my life -- getting into this academy, fighting for recognition among my peers, the Natsume kidnapping incident and so..so.. much more. Why now?

Why is it that my composure, my cheerful image is cracking now? When I truly need it, like my own life. I cannot afford to let people see my insecurity. I cannot break now.

Walking through the northern woods has always calmed my mind. Bringing forth the solemn person within me. The fresh air, the breeze and the soft calming sound of nature.

Even Natsume's favourite spot is somewhat beautiful in this wintry night. Sitting here calms me, perhaps it calms Natsume too.

That is probably why I dubbed this place as Natsume's spot. Funny how I always run into him in this spot -- under the enchanting sakura tree.

Nobody usually occupy this spot. Maybe because Natsume is always here. People do tend to fear him.

Argh... What is wrong with me!? Natsume! Natsume! Natsume! Why him? Why? Why can't he accept me? No matter how much I try, I still can't reach him. Nothing I do for him affects him.

Not when I try to sooth his anger, treat him MY Howalon, saved him from that Reo guy and not even when I cared so much for him.

How pathetic can I be? Really pathetic then. Hotaru too is indifferent to me. Especially nowadays, everyone is acting different. Yuu is too busy, same goes for Nonoko and Anna, heck even Ruka is hard to talk to these days.

I guess growing up can really change a person. I am different too. Heck, even I notice that I am more solemn, more fake then ever. Then again, I have been faking it since I was a child.

As a child, I always envy every children that runs around the playground with their parents watching near by, some even have siblings to play with. I always feel like an outcast.

Even with Ji-chan around, I feel lonely. I guess I am thankful I have Ji-chan around, but still, even when I have him I still feel lonely. Why I am I so selfish!?

Ever since I can remember, Ji-chan has always been there. He calms me when thunder and lighting frightens me, stay up with me when sleep eludes me, cheer me up when I am sad and of course, always beside me to chase the loneliness away.

Back then, I have him right by my side, but now, because of my on selfishness he is alone. I am alone. I guess that is the price I have to pay for my selfishness.

The price.

Loneliness.

"Ohayou minna-san", I greeted everyone as I entered the class. Iinchou as always, the first and only person who greeted me back with a cheerful good morning.

I spotted Hotaru and as usual tried to hug her with my morning greeting, only to get the baka gun greeting in return. Honestly, I don't know why I even bother to hug her, when I know I'm going to get hit by that baka gun of hers.

Then again, I have to keep up with this pretense of mine. There is a bit of commotion at the door, this could only mean one thing. The famous duo has arrived.

"Ohayou Ruka-pyon, Natsume-kun"

"Ohayou Mikan", a soft greeting from Ruka-pyon.

Natsume only grunted. That guy cannot be bothered to be at least kind to me. He is rude and it makes me feel like throttling him at that very moment.

It cannot be help, no matter what I do, no matter how many sermon I give him, that guy will never change. He won't even budge. Heck, the only people he is remotely kind to is probably Ruka-pyon, adorable little You-chan and his kawaii little sister Aoi-chan.

I can count them only with one hand. He keeps people out of his life and doesn't allow anyone near him that much. At first, I didn't understand why, but the more I see him, the more I understand.

Even it is only for a bit.

He is like me in some ways. I like people in my life so I can keep the loneliness at bay, while he stays far away from people to keep from being haunted by loneliness when said people are gone.

I guess to him, better never to have then to have and to lose. His attitudes rather give that impression on me. I never asked him about it though, I know it's personal for him.

I for one am not going to tell others that I'm a depressed, lonely and fake of a person. Not even when I'm bribed with fifty boxes of Howalon. That says a lot doesn't it.

"Hey no star.", that Sumire is really annoying me now.

"I'm a two stars already, you baka!"

"Oh, but you're the first no star. So it makes no different even now."

"Of course it does. Two stars make a different."

"Whatever. NO STAR."

Sumire and her posse just laughed. They still bully me even when I am already a two stars. They still see me as a troublemaker and a mischief. Somehow, I feel this is the academy's fault.

After a few months here at the academy, I began to feel like someone is keeping an eye on me. Monitoring my movements and it makes me feel uncomfortable. To this day, everything that I do wrong is somehow look as a rebel against the academy.

When the class is in cahoots too, they pointed me as the person responsible for the whole mess. I began to think that I'm an evil person in my past life to have such a bad karma.

That is when I began to realize that when the teachers are talking they keep referring me to that person. Who is that person? Narumi-sensei also talks about that person but doesn't really explain the truth about that person at all.

I feel infuriated with this kind of thing. I am myself and that person is that person. Can't they see that and plus for awhile I have been waiting for Narumi-sensei to tell the truth. But still, he has said nothing and has done nothing at all.

My trust for him has wavered since then. My trust for people for that matter is diminished day by day. I love my friends, I do, but do they even care about me. Will they accept me when they learn about the girl behind the cheerful mask?

Will the recognize me for who I am?

I have had enough. This is enough. Now, I am running away from them. Those name callings, hurtful words, uncaring-ness and indifference. NO MORE.

Baka. Moron.

"Hotaru how could you?"

Stupid polka-dotted panty girl. Idiot.

"Natsume you hentai jerk!"

No star. No star. Clumsy no star.

"Permy and her posse too. I hate them."

Lousy student and such a troublemaker.

"Jinno-sensei you're just like them."

Those mocking and insults, I hate it. Just because I smile after that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It hurts a lot. No more. I can't stand it.

So I cried. I cried so much it hurts my lungs.

It weakens me.

As I cry alone in this thick northern woods.

Despair and helplessness. Agony and loneliness. Hurt and betrayal. All of these feelings are crushing me. Scaring me deeply and breaking me, leaving only the shell of what I am.

A lonely and miserable child. A fragile child that is left in the cold. A snow child.

It is getting late and dark too. I guess it is time for me to go back. Just as I expected, nobody came to look for me. Can't really say I'm disappointed cause I know it won't happen. All of them are just too busy with something.

Funny, I could always find time for them but they can't even spare a minute for me. No matter, I am okay now, I can put this façade back on.

As I was walking back to the academy, movements in the trees stopped me.

"Who's there?"

"You can relax Sakura-san. I won't harm you."

"Persona!"

"Yes, I seem to have seen such an interesting moment of you, Sakura-san. Perhaps you are not what I have expected. You have something more in you."

"What do you want, Persona?"

"I have a proposition for you. One that you would see as a way out for your little problem."

"What problem?"

"To exercise the emotions of your hidden self of course. It is not healthy to keep it bottle up is it, Sakura-san? You see, I have been monitoring you for awhile. I think you will make a remarkable protégé for me."

"Why me? What makes you think I will agree to this proposition of yours? You have nothing for me."

"You can cover your real emotions rather amazingly. It will help in certain missions I assure you. Your alice is already useful for me. I can train you too, it will cause no problem for me."

"So, there is still nothing in it for me."

"If you do take up my offer, your Natsume-kun will do minimal missions. That will certainly prolong his life, isn't that right, Sakura-san?"

He will minimize Natsume's mission. That is a good thing. Should I do it? Even if Natsume-kun is a jerk and a hentai, he is still someone I care about. He has already done too much missions for his age and his life span must have decreased too.

Minimizing his missions could help and if I become better, he probably can stop doing missions too. Persona is already reaching his hand out for me. Should I accept it?

"I can help you, Sakura-san."

"Very well."

I accepted his hand. This hand, it may help me and it even may destroy me. For now though, it will be my way to release my pent up emotions.

Present day...

"Well done. Mission accomplished, Yukiko."

"Hn."

"I'm sure you vented out your frustrations already."

"Hn."

"You may go now. I think there are no missions for awhile."

"Whatever, Persona."

- Tsuzuku -

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