A/N: Hello, everyone!
I am soooo sorry for the author's note chapter. Well, I'm here with the new chapter! So, hopefully you all get this...
I am really sorry for not updating in so long :P This story is not my first priority, so I only do it every once in a while. Sorry...
I read your reviews (thanks for all of them!) and the winner iiissss...
SNAPE'S DIARY! Confetti!
I might do Draco Puppet some other time, so look for that! Also, I take suggestions, and I already got Harry Potter Draw-My-Life. I had to look it up to see what it is, and I LOVE IT! So many good ideas for it! Maybe I'll use it as a break from Potter Puppet Pals after a couple more of those chapters...
Oh and by the way, I may change the style of how I do this a little, to make it easier. Basically, just putting their names before what they say in the videos. Let me know how it works for your reading convenience!
This story may not have the most views, but it has the most favs and follows! SO thanks! :D
I won't keep you any longer. SOooo, here is the next chapter! Enjoy :)
P.S: THIS IS NOT THE EXTENDED VERSION OF SNAPE'S DIARY.
Dumbledore was already there by the time the first person walked in the next morning. That person just happened to be-
"Good morning, Tom," Dumbledore said pleasantly.
"Dumbledore," Voldemort replied, with a curt nod. They sat on opposite sides of the room, but Dumbledore could see the Dark Lord sneaking quick glances in his direction every few moments.
"Is there something you need, Tom?"
"What? From YOU? No! No..."
A few moments of silence, and then...
"Well, actually, surprisingly, yes..." Voldemort muttered nervously and very uncharacteristically. "I was, er, wondering-"
"You are curious as to what we will be watching today," Dumbledore stated, rather than asked.
Voldemort sighed. "Well, yes..."
"Well, Tom, I am afraid that I cannot reveal that information just yet," Dumbledore told him.
"Old coot," Voldemort whispered, loudly enough for the man to hear, with a glare. Dumbledore, who had indeed heard, merely smiled pleasantly and began to hum.
Soon, everyone else came in, talking loudly. Once they had all taken seats around the computer and Voldemort had moved closer, Dumbledore said, "Excellent! Now, let us begin our third video."
Music started, and a red curtain appeared, which moved to the side to reveal a sign, which read:
The Potter Puppet Pals
"Ooh!" Voldemort said with frustration. "Not this puppet nonsense again! I did like the ending to the last one, but they really are just a load of waffle!"
Ignoring the last comment, Dumbledore answered, "Oh, we have a lot more of these to go..."
The sign that came up next mortified Snape into speechlessness and left the Marauders (yes, even Lupin and Pettigrew; some habits never leave you, even when you grow more mature or betray your best friends and join the Dark side), Harry, and some of the Weasleys rubbing their hands together in anticipation.
Snape's Diary
Puppet!Harry came running onto the screen, panting and holding a large book.
Harry: Oh my God! Look what I found!
Ron: Is that a book?
"Duh," random Hogwarts student number one said.
Hermione: I know a thing or two about books-
"Of course you do, Hermione," multiple people said at the same time, including Harry and Ron, who each patted one of her shoulders. She rolled her eyes.
-and that's a book!
Harry: It's not just any book, guys!
Ron: Is it a young-adult vampire romance novel?
Many odd strangled hissing noises came from half the room, and Cedric looked rather offended.
TEN SECONDS LATER
"Why are you in the corner, Ron?" Hermione asked, sounding rather confused. Ron's ears grew very red, and Harry snorted.
Harry: Anyway, I just happened to find this book in Snape's bedroom in a locked trunk under his bed. It's his diary!
"Why exactly were you searching through Snape's things, Harry?" Fred asked.
"And where can we find his bedroom? I'd like to know so we can sabotage it- I mean, ahem, what? I didn't say anything," George muttered nervously, glancing at Dumbledore who, oddly enough, winked at him.
"I have no clue, I didn't really say any of these things! It's just a stupid puppet!" Harry exclaimed.
Ron: Wow! Shall we read it?
Snape put his head in his hands, but it went unnoticed by most people, who were staring intently at the screen.
Harry: I have a better idea! Let's read it!
"Thanks mate," Ron growled. Harry shot him a half-apologizing, half-annoyed glance.
Hermione: Oh what a fascinating character study this will be!
"That's SO Hermione- always looking for the learning/work part of everything." Hermione then hit Ron in the head with a book that she had conjured up out of nowhere.
Harry: 'Kay, this is the first entry. 'Dear diary...'
The screen faded to show Snape sitting at a desk, writing in the diary with a quill. The diary entry was heard in Snape's voice, presumably in his thoughts. Everyone was silent, either out of dread (Snape) or anticipation (everyone else).
Snape: Today, I ate some oatmeal for my breakfast. It was flavorless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried.
Everyone looked behind them to see Snape looking as though he was about to cry, though not over his mother...
Ron: I'm hungry!
Harry: What else is new, fattie?-
Ron looked as though he was about to say something, but Harry beat him to it.
"Don't ANY of you dare comment," Harry growled, in defense of his best friend. "If any one of you agrees..."
The room remained silent. Harry gave a satisfied nod, and Ron sent him a grateful look.
-Let's get to the good stuff.
Snape: Today, I put on my raincoat and traveled to Knockturn Alley. I purchased a pair of fancy mice. When I brought them home, one devoured the other, and then died of loneliness. I felt envy.
"Well, at least they were better than SCABBERS!" The twins, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Sirius all turned to glare at Pettigrew.
James looked rather confused. "Scabbers?"
Harry: This is hilarious!
Hermione: Oh look Harry, I see your name!
Ron: Ooh, you're good at reading, Hermio-
"Stop flirting, Ron!" George said with a smirk.
Harry: WHAT?!
Snape: Today, that Potter boy showed me his middle finger.
A muggleborn shouted, "Ooh, scandalous!"
When I attempted to punish him with detention, he shoved me into a wall screaming, 'Bother, BOTHER!' over and over.
Snape winced. Ron smirked. McGonagall frowned. Voldemort actually found himself enjoying this.
Later, he and his orange friend-
"Being ginger is COOL!"
-repeated the violent act until I lost consciousness. Tonight, I prayed for the first time in twenty years. I prayed for the end.
Snape finally found his voice. "If any one of you ever tries that, I will make sure that you are expelled!"
"What if you've already left Hogwarts?" James whispered to Sirius with a grin.
Harry: I remember that, Ron! Give me five!
Ron: You already took my money, Harry!
Harry and Ron face-palmed, and Hermione and Ginny tried but failed to hold back their giggles.
Harry" Ugh, never mind...
Snape: I lost a button on my cloak today. Minerva pointed it out in front of the entire faculty. Oh, cruel attention.
Button, oh button, oh where hath thou fled?
Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric and thread?
Did thee roll off my bosom and cease to exist?
How I wish I could follow thee into the mist...
"Wow, Snivellus, what a depressing back-story," Sirius said with a grin.
Ron: What is a bosom, Harry?
Harry: Umm...
Hermione: Yeah, tell him, Harry!
Harry: Oh, look, another page!
Snape: Today while in the bathtub-
Harry, Ron, and Hermione: Eew!
Snape: -I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I was riding a thestral through a thunderstorm. Every thunderclap resolved into their voices. 'Bother, BOTHER!' Suddenly, it became music. I was at the Yule Ball with Lily Evans.
Lily looked over at Snape curiously, but he avoided her gaze.
I asked her to dance. She asked me to die.
James sent his wife a proud look, earning him a punch in the shoulder by said woman. No one heard Snape stifle a sob.
Would that I could, Lily. Would that I could.
Harry: My mum was awesome!
Snape: When I awoke, my skin was prune-like from the tepid bath water, and I was late for golf with Lucius Malfoy.
Ron: Ooh, I like prunes!
Then, a naked Dumbledore (PUPPET!) popped up next to them.
Dumbledore: Did somebody say 'prunes'?
Ron: I said prunes! How did he know?
Dumbledore: What are you monkeys up to, studying for class?
Harry: No, we're invading Professor Snape's privacy by reading his personal diary we stole from his room.
"Way to be blunt, Harry," Fred 'praised'.
"Yeah, honesty is the best policy!" George added (sarcastically).
Dumbledore: But... you don't have any prunes, do you?
"You're not even in trouble?" James and Sirius exclaimed, sending bewildered, yet proud looks at their son/godson.
"That must be a new record or something!" Sirius added.
Harry: I'm afraid not.
Dumbledore: I'm very disappointed in you, Harry.
"Oh, so NOW he's in trouble! Because he doesn't have any prunes!"
Puppet!Dumbledore walked away, and Puppet!Harry turned his attention back to the diary.
Harry: Okay, back to the stinky book!
Snape: Today, the orange one accidentally drank one of my more expensive elixirs. He promptly vomited a glittering rainbow of foul waste.
"Oh yes, very lovely, Ronald," Ginny said, wrinkling her nose.
The classroom erupted with applause, triggering my migraine. I aborted the class and was left to clean the boy's sick. Halfway through, Argus Filch showed up and bragged about his many affairs with Hogsmeade barmaids. Then, he told me I smelled of broccoli and left without wishing me a happy birthday. I thought of my father. I cried...
Harry: This got boring. Let's write a new entry!
Ron: That's a really fun idea!
Hermione: Here's one of the quills I carry with me at all times!
Harry: Okay... I am Snape. I'm so sad because I poop my pants all the time. I don't have any friends because I stink like broccoli and poop. I teach potions to Harry Potter, and it's really boring because he's so cool, and it makes me have depression. Okay, I think I'll go cry now because- er, but not before I poop my pants. 'Cau- bye.
"That was real mature of you, Harry," Hermione commented sarcastically, trying to block out the sounds of the twins, Ron, Harry, James, Sirius, and even Lupin laughing hysterically. Snape was simply scowling at them all.
Ron: Ha ha! Can I try?
Harry: Be my guest!
Ron: I... ammm... Sss...
Hermione: Okay Ron, that was a good try.
Then, Puppet!Snape walked in.
"Oooh yes!" James cheered. "I can't wait to see his reaction!"
Snape: Ugh, someone knocked me unconscious and ransacked my room. Wait a minute, that book! What are you doing?!
Harry: Snape! Ron stole your diary!
Snape: WHAT?! You didn't read it, did you?
Harry: Oh, he read it alright. He read it all!
Snape: This is unacceptable!
Ron: I liked the story about the button, Snape.
Snape: You- you did?
Ron: It made me sad, thinking about that little button, lost and alone.
"Cute, Ron."
"Shut up!"
I hope you find your button, Snape.
Snape: So do I, orange one. So do I...
Ron: I like buttons!
The video ended, and they turned to Dumbledore.
"Yes?" he asked.
They all shrugged, and stood up and left, until Snape, Voldemort, and Dumbledore were alone.
"I'm sorry, Severus," Dumbeldore said kindly. "It was necessary."
Voldemort smirked. "Yeah, sorry about your button, Snape!"
Snape thought of his grandparents. He cried...