A/N: Hello everyone! I'm finally back with the next chapter. If you're an old reader, thank you so, so much for sticking with me all this time, and if you're new, welcome! I hope you enjoy.

I'm almost at 100 reviews, favorites, AND follows. Thank you so much for getting me this far! Should I eventually do a special chapter to celebrate? If you have any ideas, let me know in a review. Maybe a little secret-revealing chapter... Dumbledore hasn't given any real answers yet, after all.

I counted up the reviews and poll votes and one video won by a landslide- today the crew will be reacting to Harry Potter in 99 Seconds by Paint/Jon Cozart! Most of you have probably already seen it, but if you haven't, go check it out before reading. Trust me, it's a fantastic video, and it's only 99 seconds :) Thanks to everyone for voting, and to The Richmaster for your suggestions for reactions. (If you have any reaction suggestions, like something a specific character might say or a topic to discuss, feel free to leave them in a review and I'll try to include them!)

Enjoy the chapter!

The entire Great Hall was filled, once again, with a very impatient crowd of people- except for the most important person of all.

Albus Dumbledore was missing.

The usual audience had been gathered for quite some time and the situation was becoming dire. Harry observed the crowd with growing apprehension-Voldemort sat in a corner with a box of matches, his flames growing dangerously close to the Gryffindor tapestry; Hermione had gotten through a whole stack of books and was going into withdrawal; and a group of starving students were eyeing each other like wolves, seemingly considering cannibalism to quench their overwhelming hunger. Harry himself was feeling restless. He had complete faith that Dumbledore wouldn't abandon them, but where on earth was the man? They'd run out of food days ago.

At long last, right as Sirius began gnawing on his own arm against Remus's protests, a bellowing shout echoed around the room.

"Never fear, for I have brought snacks!"

And Dumbledore came gliding in on rollerblades, throwing popcorn like confetti.

A mass of people dove to the ground, trying to grab as much food as they could while the more sane of the bunch conjured bowls and caught the popcorn as it soared through the air. Everyone feasted while Dumbledore rolled to a stop in the middle of the room, setting the laptop down in its usual spot.

Voldemort threw his matches aside and stormed up to the man. "Where have you been?! I'm sick of you wasting my time, Beard-o."

"Sorry," Dumbledore hummed. "My car broke down."

"You have a car?" McGonagall asked skeptically.

"Yes, Minerva, and it happens to be a pretty sweet ride."

"You'll have to show me sometime," Sirius piped in with a grin. "You can borrow my motorcycle."

"With all due respect, professor, that still doesn't explain your long absence," Hermione said. "You're literally a year late."

"Ah. I had to make a detour, you see. I took a trip to 1920s New York to pick up some friends of mine. Allow me to introduce them." Dumbledore beckoned to the entrance, where four previously unnoticed strangers stood. "Meet Mr. Newt Scamander, author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them, as well as Ms. Porpentina-"

"-Please call me Tina-"

"-Goldstein-Scamander, Ms. Queenie Goldstein, and Mr. Jacob Kowalski."

"Ah- hello. It's good to be back at Hogwarts," Newt mumbled.

"I'll admit that I'm impressed," Queenie said, taking in the castle, "but Ilvermorny's still better."

Jacob, who'd been looking around in amazement, asked, "What... exactly are we doing here again?" Hagrid, who looked very excited to see Newt, took the responsibility of explaining everything while Dumbledore turned back to the crowd.

"In my absence, I've had a good amount of time to think about what video to show you next. I've found one that's very popular amongst the Muggles, titled 'Harry Potter in 99 Seconds.'"

"'99 Seconds'?" Voldemort exclaimed, steam practically blowing from his ears. "You kept us waiting for a whole year just to show us a ninety nine second video?!"

"It is quite a packed minute and a half," Dumbledore said, opening the laptop and pulling up the video. Everyone huddled in closer, nibbling on leftover bits of popcorn. "I think you'll rather enjoy it. So, shall we begin?"

Two identical men appeared on the screen, exactly alike with the exception of one's glasses and the clothes they wore. This immediately created some confusion.

"How is there two of the same person?" asked a young student. "Did he use time travel?"

"Or a replication potion?"

"Or, you know, they could just be twins," Fred pointed out, rolling his eyes.

There once was a boy named Harry

Destined to be a star.

His parents were killed by Voldemort,

Who gave him a lightning scar…

(Yo Harry, you a wizard.)

"Of course it's about Harry again," Ron said, grinning at his friend. "Popular enough yet, mate?"

Harry wasn't pleased; it was enough dealing with the wizarding world's obsession with him. Why was he the focus of Muggle attention, too? How did they even know all this stuff about him? He kept silent, keeping his thoughts to himself.

"Hey, tha's kind o' like my line!" Hagrid beamed at the screen. "From when I found Harry and told him abou' Hogwarts."

Harry goes to Hogwarts,

He meets Ron and Hermione,

McGonagall requires he play for Gryffindor.

Draco is a daddy's boy,

"My father will hear about this!" mimicked several people around the Slytherin, who gave a huff of annoyance.

Quirrell becomes unemployed,

The Sorcerer's Stone is destroyed by Dumbledore.

"Of course it was," Voldemort muttered under his breath. "I drank unicorn blood and possessed Quirrel for a whole year just to get it, and of course Dumbledore destroyed it. Quirrel was useless anyway. Although... he did perform pretty well in those duets..."

"What?"

"Nothing... you didn't hear anything..."

Ron breaks his wand,

Now Ginny's gone,

And Harry's in mortal danger.

Tom Riddle hides his snake inside

His ginormous secret chamber.

"That reminds me- is young-me here?" Voldemort asked, ignoring the snickers provoked by those last lines and peering around. "That would be-"

"Yes, I'm here," diary Tom Riddle stepped forward with a sigh. "I'm not technically young you, I'm a part of your soul."

"How are you even here? I killed you," Harry said.

"We've already established that somehow the dead were brought back to watch these," Hermione pointed out. "But this is different- you're just a part of Voldemort."

"Just let the author do what she wants, won't you?" Voldemort stepped closer to Tom, looking him over with a critical eye. "Hmm... Not bad. I'm not feeling as much regret over my past decisions as I expected."

"I'm certainly regretting your future decisions." Tom raised an eyebrow. "Defeated by a toddler? And you damaged yourself so much that you've lost everything puberty did right for us."

Voldemort shut up abruptly, glaring at Tom. "Just keep playing the video, Dumbledore."

Harry blows up Aunt Marge

James ruffled his son's hair, a proud grin on his face.

The dementors come and take charge.

Lupin is a wolf,

The rat's a man,

And now the prisoner is at large.

They use time travel so they can

Save the prisoner of Azkaban,

Who just so happens to be Harry's Godfather-

I don't really get it either.

"These verses are all about my different years at Hogwarts, but how do the Muggles know all of this?" Harry asked. "How do they know that Wormtail could turn from a rat to a man, and that werewolves are real?"

"It wasn't even known in the wizarding world that you and Hermione saved Sirius using time travel," Lupin pointed out.

"He did say that it was confusing," Sirius said. "Which means they don't know everything. All they need to know is that Pettigrew was the real criminal-" He glared at his former friend. "-And that I happen to be an excellent godfather, thank you very much."

"Sure, Padfoot," James grinned, though his expression was tinted with sadness at what had become of his friends after his and Lily's deaths.

Harry gets put in the

Triwizard Tournament

"I still can't believe you allowed my fourteen year old sun to do something so dangerous," Lily snapped at Dumbledore. "If I'd been alive..."

"I know," Dumbledore said, appearing very tired suddenly. "I sincerely apologize, Lily. We didn't have much of a choice, the rules were clear-"

"If marrying this idiot taught me anything," Lily interrupted, "It's that some rules were made to be broken."

With dragons and mermaids-

Oh no!

Edward Cullen gets slayed!

He's back.

"Who's Edward Cullen, and what about Cedric?" One of the older Hufflepuffs asked. Cedric, who apparently knew something no one else did, blushed furiously.

"See, even the Muggles knew Voldemort was back, and you wouldn't even acknowledge it," Harry said to Fudge.

Harry, Harry, it's getting scary-

Voldemort's back,

Now you're a revolutionary, Harry.

Dumbledore, Dumbledore, why is he ignoring your

Constant attempts to contact him?

He is forced to leave the school,

Umbridge arrives,

Draco's a tool.

The crowd broke out into boo's, and a few people conjured tomatoes to throw at Umbridge, led by Fred and George.

Kids break into the Ministry,

Sirius Black is dead as can be.

No one quite knew what to say to that. At least not until...

"Are you serious?" George gasped.

Sirius grinned wickedly. "Dead Sirius."

Split your soul,

Seven parts of a whole-

They're horcruxes,

It's Dumbledore's end…

"You can't blame me for that one!" Voldemort shouted triumphantly at his counterpart. "You were planning that since you first heard about horcruxes. That's why I look like this now."

"Shut up."

"What's a horcrux?" asked one of many puzzled students. "We've never learned about them..."

"It would be best not to meddle in that topic," Dumbledore said, growing stern. "Lest you end up like Tom, here. The older one."

There once was a boy named Harry

Who constantly conquered death.

But in one final duel between good and bad,

He may take his final breath…

The video came to a close with a rather confusing P-A-I-N-T, subscribe!, and Dumbledore addressed the group once again."I apologize once again for the long wait while I recruited our new guests, and I hope that short and sweet song helped you all get used to this after such a long break. Any questions?"

"Yeah, we're still bloody confused about how the Muggles know all of this, professor," Ron said, and the crowd nodded in agreement.

"All will be explained in due time," Dumbledore said with an infuriating wink. "And I understand that the Muggle attention has made some of you, especially Harry, uncomfortable. Remember the point of these meetings- to open your eyes as to what sort of unwanted attention the wizarding world receives when Muggles are made aware of our existence. Now, I must go retrieve my car from repair. I hope to see you all here next time."

And, with a final bow, Dumbledore rollerbladed out of the room, leaving them all just as confused as when he'd arrived.

Perhaps it was time that the group found answers on their own.