I skipped class the next day to check up on him, regretting some of the things I said. I didn't know how to handle the situation. When I thought about the future, I knew I was just being selfish and pushing my ideals on him, but if I don't think I can fall in love with him knowing what I did.

He could never stop being Firefly. That was his center. And I couldn't walk down the path he needed to walk down with him. I had planned - as a friend - to never tell anyone what I knew about him, to break off our relationship, and to not force what we had any further.

I had only been curious about him in the first place because of his secrets. Now that I knew what enough of them were, I felt less like a historian, writing his past down for the history books, and more like a traitor, participating in this ongoing war.

And that was the main reason I knew Chaitanya couldn't exist. As long as the war tethered Firefly to this world, Chaitanya could not be.

He wasn't at the front desk, so I let myself into the back offices, stopping when I heard a voice from inside Chaitanya's office shouting.

"You can't be around that boy anymore! He's bad for your health! Period!..." The shouting voice stopped as someone silently responded. "He cares about you?! He only cares about himself, and he's trying to change you to be what he wants, not what you want! Look at yourself!... No, Kei, you're a coward, running from what you are. Just because you couldn't help me doesn't mean you can't help her…"

The voice was drowned out by the rush of blood to my ears. The name. Kei. He couldn't be… The general? It wasn't possible. They were all benders, and they all vanished. Someone would have recognized him. He had to be another Kei.

The voice on the other side of the door got even louder. "FUCK YOU!" I heard stuff get thrown across the room. "You didn't betray the other benders to become this! You wanted peace! Do you think you've achieved that? I hate you for what you did, but at least don't make it for nothing!"

Other benders. As in, he was one.

It grew quiet for a long time, and it became clear that they either weren't going to talk anymore, end their conversation, or they were aware of me.

I didn't want to hear anymore anyway.

I ran out of the building to my car before I could be caught, waiting in my car for a good fifteen minutes, hoping that the man who was yelling would leave and I could catch a glimpse of his face. He was taking too long though, and I decided I would have to come back when I regularly did.

Until then, I wanted to learn as much as I could about General Kei. Not that he was Kei, but I had this funny feeling... It wasn't a coincidence he gave me that book.

When I returned to my dorm, I pulled out my personal copy of the story on Harsul, marking every page that mentioned the general.

After finding the first couple times he was mentioned, I was beginning to discover that it wasn't anything I didn't already know. I did a quick search online thinking it might be faster or that I might find a picture, but all I could find was that he was the least significant of all the generals. He barely did anything. He was a pure Fire Nation descendant, but there weren't any reports of him using his bending in battles. There wasn't anything.

I returned to the book. Early on, Harsul mentioned that it was strange that of every bender he had met, General Kei was the only one to wield non-bender weapons - a pistol and a katana, which was notedly welded shut.

He wasn't close to any other general, including the fire bending ones. He kept minimum contact when it came to plotting strategies. The allusions made between him and Fire Commander Katsu led me to believe that they actually quarreled frequently.

General Kei was also very much not proud and forceful like the fire bending culture. Harsul described him as being "of carefree nature, a leaf on the wind" - suggestive of airbending descent, but that was impossible. I remembered this line specifically from the first time I read the book because if there were other airbenders out there, people would know. Maybe he was a bastard child - an illicit product of a secret relationship.

I didn't have much time to look into it further. The Internet tended to agree that Kei was a firebender based on the armor he wore, and even though firebenders had the strictest culture in terms of conforming, it didn't mean that just because he was different he wasn't a firebender.

Honestly, I was finding it hard to believe that he was a bender at all.

As all this was going on, my perspective toward him made yet another 180. Assuming he was the general, my gut reaction was that he was absolutely bad.

But while the Kei in the books was a bender general, yes, going along with what Chaitanya had told me, he hadn't really participated in the war. On top of that, his was extremely crafty and clever. He had helped coordinate victories for the Republic, even if it was to help Harsul the status gain favor just so he could betray us. But his friend also had made it seem like Kei betrayed the other benders to end the war.

Maybe... Could he have been on our side? How did the military find out about the traitor?

I knew something didn't make sense when I was reading Harsul's story. The benders should have won the war the way they played us, but there was a factor that was never mentioned that completely turned the tide - post the end of the story.

Maybe... Kei could be the greatest hero for the Republic ever. The pieces didn't entirely fit, but there was a chance.

Chaitanya straightened when I approached the front desk, squaring his shoulders. I have something to say. He looked determined when he signed.

He was going to push me away after what I said, which was honestly what I deserved. I had misunderstood everything - hell, I was so confused now that I didn't know I was making the right decision. Kei could be the biggest villain to this world for all I knew.

But I knew him. Chaitanya or Kei, he was confused about doing the right thing. He was so lost, and even just the platonic love I had for him had me begging to help him.

I held a hand up. "Wait. Before you say anything, I was wrong yesterday. You can't be fighting yourself on a daily basis to determine who you are. Chaitanya, you don't need to be anyone but you. And if it's hurting you to see Suluk in trouble, it's hurting me to see you in pain. And I really mean that."

He looked dumbfounded, his mouth hanging slightly open.

He shook it off and looked down at his keyboard. What do you suggest I do then? Save her?

Did he possess the power to do that?

"Is that what would make you feel better?"

He had to think very hard about it. He took a deep breath then stood, staring through my chest. He closed his eyes and signed, I want to believe that you'll be there to support no matter what. Your voice helps me find myself.

Could I be there for him? Where was my place in this world? How could I find it alongside Chaitanya when I didn't know his place?

Maybe I couldn't know it because Chaitanya didn't. Maybe I just had to take this leap of faith... Was he a good guy or was he a bad guy? Maybe he was just neither. He was here in a library after all.

But if I would choose to put my faith into a person, it'd be someone with a kind heart and good story. And I was so sure Chaitanya was both.

I stepped around the counter and grabbed his hand. "I want to help you find yourself. I know you've had to make some hard decisions, but I hope you can rely on me to help you make them from here on out." I pulled him towards me, and I hadn't expected it, but when I brought his face so close to mine, I wanted to bring him closer. I touched our noses together and leaned into him. When he parted his lips and breathed on mine, I was reminded again of the sweet kiss I had desperately wanted to recreate.

Now I had more knowledge. What would I taste on his lips this time now that I was searching for it? The lick of flame? A cocky twist of his tongue? A show of his sexual prowess?

He saw my gaze shift over to the students studying at a table twenty feet away, and he squeezed my hand, pulling me back into his office. When we got into it, he pretended like we weren't about to snog. It wasn't in his personality to just push me up against the wall and engage in an amorous caress. Well, not in Chaitanya's personality.

I wrapped my arm around his waist as he attempted to step around his desk and pulled him towards me. I had never attempted something so forceful in my life, but I was overcome with the desire to taste him, paired with a curiosity of how much he felt for me.

When he looked back at me, I could tell he was ready and willing. I wouldn't have been able to do it if he didn't give me an embarrassed, blushing smile, but it was enough to calm my nerves about him and lean in.

I was surprised when he immediately reached around the back of my neck and started massaging it as he pushed me in closer, taking all the breath from my lungs as he kissed me more sensually than anything I could have imagined.

I loved it. I felt that he wanted to hold on to me forever, and I was enjoying it too much to want to let him go. His sweetness and his pine scent filled me.

I got the sense that my desperate inexperience was too much. He fought the sound of his own laugh, blow air through his nose as he pushed me away by my chest, smiling and shaking his head.

If he was Kei, I doubt I could even comprehend the number of people he's slept with. And I must have easily looked like a fool to him. "I'm sorry-" I started to say, but he quickly shook his head and kissed my cheek.

I need to make a call, and I need you to make sure no one will hear me. Not even you.

He was going to talk?

But he still didn't trust me enough to let me hear.

I nodded while he turned me around and pushed me out the door. Guard the door, he instructed.

I was determined to do so, but before I could turn around and pull the knob behind me, he grabbed me by my shoulder and slipped the same hand around my neck, pulling me a step back into the room and tucking his lips into my ear, whispering, "Yakone."

I might have blushed all the way to my toes. To be seduced by a single word was overwhelming, and it embarrassed him quite a bit as well. He quickly closed the door on me, leaving me stunned.

But not before a huge fat grin spread across my face. He spoke to me!

His voice was deeper than I thought it would be. For such a seemingly modest personality, I thought he'd have a gentle, modest voice. I couldn't describe exactly what it was like, hearing just one word, but it was not that. It was Kei's voice.

Chaitanya spent not even ten minutes in his office before he opened the door again. I had hoped he would try talking some more, but instead, he used sign language to ask for water.

I returned with a glass to see him rubbing his throat.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

He shook his head and took the water from me. After he took a sip and set it down beside him, he signed, No, but it feels strange. Like I've forgotten to pronounce some words.

I was curious about his usage, but I let the topic go and changed it. "Who did you speak with?"

Someone who can stand witness in her support. I can't help her more than that, and I'm asking a lot of him, but it feels good to do something.

"Why couldn't you just send an email?" I think I knew the answer before I asked.

I needed to make sure the message was received, and I couldn't leave a paper trail.

I nodded. "So you feel better now?"

Much, thank you. He met my eyes, smiling. I'll tell you whatever you want to know.

I shook my head. "Just tell me when you feel lost so we can work through it together."

He looked down at his feet shyly, but his smile grew, and I was afraid if I was around him any longer, I might have fallen completely in love with him.