A/N: Hi again! First of all, thank you SO much to those who have reviewed. I really appreciate it, and I'm happy to see people are liking this story. I'm about to leave for the weekend, but I will be back with another update on Monday.
Jane gruffly pulled Lilly to her feet. She wondered if it was really the best idea to have her near AJ, but she trusted Clem and didn't argue. Lilly followed without complaint, eyes glued to the floor in sullen silence. The boisterous, opinionated survivor Clementine remembered seemed to be nowhere in sight, instead replaced by a scared—or perhaps remorseful—little girl in a grown woman's body.
"Sit there," Jane commanded, as if talking to a dog. Lilly obeyed, and Jane took the excess rope and tied it firmly to the leg of a bolted-down desk. "How the hell did you even get in here?"
"Hole in the fence," Lilly replied weakly.
"Oh, fuck. Clem, we need to patch that hole before any walkers get in. I thought I told you to check the perim—" she stopped short, glancing at her young companion. Clementine winced and looked away. She was glad her friend was still alive, but it still stung to think about. "Uh, right. Nevermind." A tense awkwardness hung in the air. Neither Jane nor Clem wanted it to be there, but neither could think of anything to do or say that would shake it.
"Yeah, uh, we should fix it," Clementine agreed, shifting nervously. "There were some boards downstairs we could use."
"Good thinking," the older woman praised. "But don't ya' think one of us should stay here with her?"
Clem looked over at Lilly, whose head was still down. She doubted she would try anything, but AJ still needed to be fed. "Yeah, maybe." She didn't want to put Jane in any danger, but she would have an easier time boarding up the hole than Clem would. "I can stay and watch her, and feed AJ. You're stronger than me, so you can probably fix the fence faster."
Jane nodded, heading towards the door. She didn't really want to feed the kid, anyways. Babies were still a... sore spot for her.
"Be careful, Jane," Clementine warned.
"I will," she agreed, offering a small smile. She hated that she had created tension between them, but it was comforting to know the girl was worried about her. Maybe that was selfish, but so was the act she had been about to commit earlier.
Once Jane had left the room, Clem turned her attention back to AJ. She carefully set him down in the box—a shitty excuse for a crib, but the best option they had—while she prepared the formula. Now thoroughly hungry, AJ whined in protest at being set down.
"Shh, just a minute, AJ. You'll get food soon, I promise."
From across the room, Lilly glanced up at Clementine. She was bent over the infant, gently cooing to him as she mixed some baby formula with water. She wondered whose kid that was, since she highly doubted he was Clementine's. Whoever his actual mom was, she assumed she was long gone since he was now in an eleven-year-old's care. Clementine could feel Lilly looking at her, but she wasn't really in the mood to talk to her ex-group member. Lilly, on the other hand, had a thousand questions racing through her mind. What had happened to the rest of the group after she'd left? Did Kenny ever find that goddamn boat? How did Clementine meet this Jane woman? Why did they seem so awkward talking to each other? How did they get to this place?
All those questions, yet one burned the deepest into her mind. She knew she should probably keep her mouth shut, but the question kept plaguing her thoughts. "Why didn't you shoot me?" she finally blurted out feebly, chancing a glance at the young girl.
Clementine's head jolted up in surprise. She wasn't expecting Lilly to talk. But that was a good question: why hadn't Clementine shot her? This woman killed her friend in cold blood, then screwed them all over by stealing the RV. She had no loyalty to her, and she didn't owe her anything. What were they going to do with her? They couldn't just kill her now, but she didn't particularly want Lilly to stay with them, either.
"I... I don't know," she finally answered, picking AJ up and beginning to feed him. It probably wasn't the answer Lilly was looking for, but it was an honest one.
Lilly nodded. Fair enough, she thought. "That your kid?" she asked tentatively after a few moments of silence.
"No, of course not," Clementine scowled, realizing what the other woman really meant by that question. "I'm eleven." Her face softened, looking down at the child in her arms. Rebecca should be here. She'll never get to see him grow up. "His mom is... gone."
Oh. That's what she figured, but it was still disconcerting to hear. She never would have showed it back with the motor inn group, but Lilly always had a bit of a soft spot for kids, especially in this shit-filled world. Children were always a symbol of innocence, and in this world filled with walkers and some truly shitty people, a child was like a breath of fresh air. For a while, anyways, until they were put through the wringer like Clementine had been.
Lilly opened her mouth as if to speak again, but Clementine cut her off. "Look, I'm not really in the mood to talk right now. I have a baby to feed."
"Right," the other woman mumbled, returning her gaze to the floor. "Sorry."
Clementine hadn't meant to snap, but she didn't have the energy to apologize. Why should she apologize, anyways?
A few minutes later, Jane returned. A blood-covered hammer was in her hand, and a bit of fresh blood was spattered on her jacket. "Are you okay?" the girl asked, looking at Jane with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered, wiping the hammer off on her shirt. "Just a couple walkers. Thanks," she added softly, appreciating her companion's concern.
"Sure," Clementine replied with a slight smile.
"Hey, uh, I think we should... talk," Jane suggested, motioning at Lilly.
"Yeah," she agreed quietly, glancing at her former group member.
Jane quietly opened the door and they both stepped outside, AJ still in Clem's arms.
"What do you want to do with her, Clem?" she asked quietly once the door was closed.
"I don't know," she answered honestly, giving the same answer she had to Lilly.
"How do you even know her? And who's this Carley person you said she killed?"
"She was part of my old group," Clem explained, shifting AJ to her other arm. "The one I told you about with Lee and the RV. She thought this boy, Ben, was stealing supplies from us, and Carley defended him, and Lilly just... got mad and shot Carley, right on the side of the road. Then Lee let her back on the RV, but a few days later, she stole it and drove off while the rest of us were trying to figure out how to start a train."
"Goddamn," Jane muttered, running a hand through her hair. Silence ensued for a few moments. "Clem, we need to figure out what to do with her. Do you really trust her enough to keep her with us?"
Clementine thought it over. At one point, Lilly was someone she might have called a friend. She was always nice to her and seemed concerned about her safety. But after she shot Carley and stole the RV... Well, she wasn't sure anymore.
"I don't know. I did at one point, but I guess... I'm not really sure."
Jane sighed. "I know this is probably hard, but we can't just hold her hostage forever."
"I know."
Clementine fell silent, and Jane could practically see the gears turning in her head.
"What are you thinking about?" she questioned.
"I... I just keep thinking about Lee," she admitted, the image of Lee pinning Lilly to the RV ingrained in her mind. But the next image was of Lee letting go, and allowing her to get back on the RV instead of leaving her to die on the side of the road. "He could've left her after she killed Carley. Everyone else wanted to... to just leave her behind and drive off without her. Even I kind of wanted to leave her. But Lee didn't. He was pissed at her, but he still let her back on. Her... her dad died when we all got locked in a meat locker at this dairy farm filled with cannibals." Clem shivered at the memory, and Jane just raised her eyebrow with a questioning look on her face. A story for another time, she supposed. "She kind of... lost it after that, I guess."
"Oh. I see." Losing people could do that to you—make you go kind of crazy for a while. Jane had lost herself for a bit after Jaime's death, though not in the same way Lilly apparently had. After she'd left Jaime on the top of that building... Well, that was the point where she decided that she would never get attached to anyone ever again. She was better off alone. People, attachments... They just slowed her down, like stones tied to her ankles. They'd get her killed.
"Why don't we just... sleep on it," Jane suggested after a few moments of silence. The poor girl had been through enough today. There was nothing to be gained from pressuring her into making a decision.
Relieved at the option, the young girl nodded, suddenly realizing how tired she was. It wasn't even that late—the sun wasn't yet fully down in the sky—but it had been a hell of a day. "Yeah, that sounds good."
They re-entered the room and Clementine set AJ down in his makeshift crib. Lilly had shifted slightly to lean against the desk she was bound to. She glanced up at the opening of the door, then quickly looked down again.
Jane sat down on the blanket and coat that passed for a bed while Clementine gently tucked AJ in. "Night, goofball," she whispered, though AJ was already asleep. She then returned to where Jane sat, adjusting her own coat underneath her.
Clementine was about to roll over on her side to sleep when Jane quietly murmured, "Hey, Clem?"
"Yeah?" she responded, looking over at her friend.
"Thanks for, you know... Today. I really... it means a lot," she said, a genuine smile on her face.
Clementine returned the smile. "You're welcome. Goodnight, Jane."
"'Night, Clem."
A/N: There we go, another chapter down. Please let me know what you thought in a review, I'd really appreciate the feedback! Also, I will be going out of town this weekend so I probably won't get a chance to update. I'll get back to it Monday for sure!
