"Oh no. No, no, no. Veronica, the last time we played truth or dare we almost got arrested. If Kevin's dad hadn't been the cop that showed up, you and I would still be picking up garbage on the side of the road."

"You are a spoil-sport, Betty Cooper, and it wasn't that bad."

"It was that bad, and you promised you'd never play again."

Archie watched the by-play with interest, mind running riot with imagined scenarios. "Spill, ladies. What did you do?"

Veronica glared at Betty ferociously. "Nothing worth a lifetime ban from truth or dare, that's for sure." She folded her arms and pouted. "We may have been dared to take a bubble bath in the fountain."

"You may have been?" Jughead teased. "May have doesn't end in police encounters."

"Alright, fine. We were dared to put soap in the fountain, and pretend to have a bath in it. And no, before you ask, we were not naked."

"I swear to you that I was not going to ask." Jughead crossed his heart, laughing. "What went wrong?"

"Some enterprising person snuck into the maintenance room and turned the fountain on while we were in there. Ever shake dish soap and water? The entire Convocation Mall was covered in bubbles, with us right in the middle of it." Veronica laughed at the memory. "Campus security was not impressed."

"Hang on, just one second." Jughead flipped open his sketchbook and waited, pen poised over paper. "Ok. Carry on." He held up his book in self-defense as they pelted him with popcorn. "Hey hey hey. Do you want raccoons? 'Cause that's how you get raccoons."

"Anyway. Security called the Mounties, and thank God it was Kevin's dad. He let us off with a warning and made us clean up the mess. We were lucky not to be arrested and expelled," Betty looked queasy at the very thought, "and Veronica promised that she'd never play again."

"You didn't have to promise?" Archie asked. "It kind of sounds like you both took the dare."

"We were playing in teams, and Ron accepted the dare on our behalf. I would have just taken the shot, personally" Betty winked at Veronica. "But she's a lot braver than I am."

"I was a lot drunker than you were."

"That too. Either way, you promised."

"So that's a no to truth or dare, then - " said Archie.

"Thank God" interjected Jughead.

" - how about 'never have I ever'?"

"Yes!" squealed Veronica, clapping her hands excitedly. "I haven't played that since high school!"

Betty rolled her eyes. "Ah yes, I remember that. What were your exact words? 'Never have I ever slept with my twin brother' I think? If looks could kill…"

"Oh please. Cheryl Blossom is all bark and no bite"

"She dumped a glass of red wine on your head."

"Richly deserved and well worth it."

"As long as you admit that you deserved it."

"Of course I did! Plus, she kind of proved my point in a very satisfying Hamlet's mother sort of way. I would sacrifice much nicer outfits for that kind of victory."

Jughead leaned forward in his chair, face serious and hands clasped. "You're diabolical. You know that, right?"

Veronica preened. "Why thank you, Jughead. I do, but praise is always welcome."

"I'm not sure I have the balls to get in the ring with you, to be perfectly honest," remarked Archie.

"You're relatively safe, Archiekins. I don't know any of your dirty little secrets and I can't actually read minds. If anyone, Betty should be afraid."

"Hah. Two can play at that game, V. Don't forget, I was at your sweet sixteen."

Veronicas' eyes widened comically and she raised her hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright. Truce. I'll play fair if you do."

Betty settled smugly into her chair. "You just have to know how to handle her. She's as tame as a kitten, really."

"I don't think someone behaving under threat of blackmail counts as tame, per se." Jughead pointed out.

"Meh, same result. Claws are retracted and that's all that matters."

"I'm literally right here, you guys. I can hear you."

"Aw, I'm sorry, Ronnie. Here, you can go first." Betty handed her a fresh bottle of beer and passed two more to the boys. "Everyone good? Alright, V, the floor is yours."

Veronica's eyes glittered in a vaguely sadistic way that made both Jughead and Archie devoutly thankful that she hadn't known them long enough to have any real dirt on them.

"I'll start you off easy. Never have I ever…" she blinked innocently at Betty, "flirted my way out of parking ticket."

"Oh my God that was one time," Betty grumbled and took a long sip of her beer. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Of course n…Jughead? You do surprise me," as he lifted his bottle and drank deeply.

"What?" he shrugged. "I can be charming."

Archie rolled his eyes. "Learn something new every day. I didn't even know you knew how to flirt."

"How could I not? You flirted your way through high school and I was the unfortunate witness to the whole appalling spectacle."

"Well don't mince words or anything." Archie laughed. "You should thank me, actually, if my expert example saved you from a ticket."

"I'll remember you in my will," Jughead promised. "Who's up next, Veronica?"

Veronica arched her eyebrow at him. "You are, wild card. I didn't expect you to jump in on that round."

"Always happy to buck expectations. Let's see…never have I ever lost my shirt at a party."

Betty and Veronica clinked their bottles together and drank, giggling.

Jughead looked at Archie expectantly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"As interesting as Betty and Veronica's revelation is sure to be, I was really baiting you on that one."

Archie stared at Jughead, completely nonplussed. "Me? When did I ever lose a shirt at a party?"

"Must have been some party, Arch, if you don't even remember it," remarked Betty. "Fill us in, Juggie."

"Ladies first."

"And they say chivalry is dead. All I'm saying is this; tequila, spring break, Mexico, body shots. Take from that what you will."

"You had me at tequila," Jughead laughed. "Even that's a better story than Archie's. I can't believe you don't remember, man. The football team crashed my 16th birthday party, threw kegs around like water bottles, completely trashed the house, and most of them wound up half-naked on the lawn – Archie included."

A blush crept across Archie's face. He downed the remainder of his beer in one swallow and opened another bottle. "I remember now. That night was a complete disaster. God. I'm retroactively embarrassed." He chuckled and tossed his bottlecap at Jughead. "Trust you to store something like that away for future humiliation."

"That's what friends are for." He smirked. "Can't have you getting too full of yourself, now can we?"

Archie turned to Veronica. "Queen V, please tell me it's my turn next? I think Mr Bigshot Author needs a taste of his own medicine."

"But of course. Who am I to stand in the way of sweet revenge?"

"Little bit of a mean-girl streak there, Ron?" Jughead asked.

Veronica sighed dramatically. "I've been hanging around Kevin too long. He loves a good scandal. It's contagious."

Archie cleared his throat. "If I may?" He levelled a calculating stare at Jughead. "Never have I ever regretted a tattoo."

"I'm going to put spiders in your bed." Jughead muttered around his beer. "Big, hairy spiders."

"Oh, this is a story I have to hear. Spit it out, Jug." Veronica eyed him. "Or better yet, show us."

"Pretty sure that's not in the rules."

"I just made that one up. Betty agrees. Right, B? B? You're strangely quiet."

Betty was sitting with her hands over her face. At the sound of her name, she blushed scarlet and guiltily raised the beer bottle to her lips, avoiding eye contact with anyone, and immediately drew her legs up to hide her face.

"Oh my God, I was hoping you'd never find out." She groaned into her knees.

"What the actual f-" Veronica shrieked. "Betty! When did you get a tattoo?"

Betty dropped her head back to stare up at the tarp. "A few months ago, when I went to visit Polly."

"And you didn't tell me because…"

"Well, Veronica, as the question implied, I immediately regretted it."

"But where the hell is it? How have I never seen it?" Veronica sat poised on the edge of her seat, looking for all the world like she was going to unearth that tattoo then and there.

Jughead watched in amusement as Betty's face grew redder and redder, before finally taking pity on her. "It can't be worse than mine, Betts."

"Oh? Why, do you have a pygmy puff hidden somewhere?"

His eyes twinkled. "No, but I do have a hippogriff on my chest."

Veronica cut in. "I hate to break up the dork fest, but my head's going to explode. Betty. Details. Now."

Betty sighed in resignation. She looked at Jughead ruefully. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

"Wow. Haven't heard that line since the prom after-party. It didn't work then, either." He grinned as she glared at him. "Alright fine. But you owe me."

"I'll make you breakfast."

"Sold." He slowly stood up. "You realise, of course," he said to Archie, "that you're the one who is ultimately going to pay for this."

"I can live with that."

Jughead shook his head in disbelief. "If I'd known I'd wind up stripping for a crowd tonight, I would have just slept in the picnic area." He shrugged off his flannel shirt and pulled his tee-shirt up to rest under his arms.

Veronica let out a wolf whistle. "Damn Jones! If I'd known that was what you were hiding under there, I would have suggested strip poker."

"Classy, V." Betty eyed Jughead's admittedly impressive torso. "But where's the ink?"

Jughead turned to the side and raised his arm.

"Is that…" Betty moved closer and squinted in the dim light. "Is that a crown?"

It was. A stylized three-pointed crown, the size of a deck of cards, sat on his rib cage. A snake was twisted through it, poised to strike.

"Satisfied?" he asked, dropping his shirt and flopping back into this chair.

"Extremely," quipped Veronica cheerily.

"Oh yay," he deadpanned. "It's been ages since I was really sexually objectified. Your turn, Betty, and it had better be as bad as you say."

"I didn't say it was bad. I said I regretted it." She chewed her lip. "I swear to God if you guys laugh I'm going to put chili flakes in your pancakes." She reached under her shirt and unhooked her bra. "Chili flakes and onion powder." She turned her back to them and raised her shirt, holding her it firmly in place over her chest.

Veronica was on her feet in a second, leaning in to examine the drawing. "I can't believe you didn't show me this. That is so hot!"

"What is it?" Archie asked, trying to see around Veronica. She moved to the side so he and Jughead could see the little mechanic pin-up girl sitting between Betty's shoulder blades, covered in engine grease and holding a wrench in her manicured hands.

"Everyone get their fill?" Betty asked. "Hook me up, please, V."

Veronica deftly righted Betty's bra and patted her shirt back into place.

"So, what's the story? It's a cute tattoo, and it suits you. Why the regret?" Archie asked, finishing his own drink and stealing Jughead's.

"You think it suits me?" Betty gaped at him.

"Well sure," Jughead said, throwing a piece of popcorn into the air and catching it in his mouth. "It's a pretty blonde mechanic, defying expectations and shattering stereotypes."

Betty stared at him, thoughtful. "I guess I didn't really see it that way. I got it in a moment of fury, purely because I knew it would annoy my mom in every way. She doesn't like tattoos, she doesn't like that I prefer engines and grease to board meetings and cocktails, and she really, really doesn't like any reference to sexuality."

"So you regret it because she doesn't like it?" Archie asked.

"No, she doesn't know about it. I regret it because it proves that I let her get to me."

"Don't let her ruin it for you. Consider it your battle standard. Wear it with pride," Veronica said.

"My battle standard," she said skeptically.

"Uh huh. In the great war against the giant stick up Alice Cooper's butt, make that your rebel's emblem. If she's on your case, you just give her that incredibly annoying smile that says 'I know something you don't know' and ignore her."

Betty laughed. "That would piss her off more than anything. I guess you're right. It is me, and to hell with what she thinks."

"That's the spirit." Archie clapped her on the back. "Also, off topic: your mom's name is Alice Cooper?"

Betty's face lit up in a wicked grin. "And she fucking hates that."

…

Two hours and half a case of beer later, the rain had finally stopped and Betty was assembling s'mores ingredients in foil wrap and melting them on the grill.

"I have never seen s'mores made like that before," Jughead said, watching the process with interest. "It seems almost sacrilegious."

"A little bit, but the fireplace is full of water so this will have to do for now," Betty answered as she carefully flipped the little silver packets.

Jughead reached over grabbed a marshmallow out of the bag, stuffing it in his mouth before Betty could react.

"Hey!" She smacked his hand and wagged her finger at him. "You're going to spoil your dinner."

"I already had dinner, Mom." He grinned at her like a four-year-old and stole another marshmallow, darting away as she aimed her tongs at him.

"You're as bad as my brother. Honestly, where do you put it all?"

"It's a gift."

"Sounds expensive."

"That too, but a guy's gotta eat." His voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "So hey, I'm taking bets."

"Oh? On what?"

"How long it takes Archie to realize he's head over heels for Veronica."

Betty looked over to where the two of them were examining Veronica's fridge; she explaining the various components and he staring at her, dumbfounded but trying to nod in all the right places.

"He has no idea what she's talking about, does he?"

"Not a clue. Archie's a smart guy, but he has no technical know-how."

"What makes you think he's into her? I thought he was terrified of her."

"What is fear but love that's lost its way?"

"That's not how that quote goes."

"I know." Jughead shrugged. "I've known Archie for something like 18 years. Every time he's really liked a girl, I knew before he did. He has tells. Terrible at poker."

"Well I approve. Ron's single right now and she could do worse. She has done worse. You guys don't have a secret playbook, recording all your conquests, do you?"

"Really? People do that?" He looked genuinely horrified. "No, he's nothing like that. Archie dates around quite a bit but he's not an asshole. He's still friends with most of his ex-girlfriends."

Betty nodded slowly. "That's always a good indication. Ok, what are your odds?"

"Three to five that he figures it out as soon as she takes those rollers out of her hair. He's a sucker for a dramatic transformation."

"I don't think those are real odds."

"Probably not. I don't understand gambling at all."

Betty laughed. 'Neither do I, but I like your style. You're on."