Chapter 7

One word: lucky. When I went home, Mika was out with her friends. Auntie and Uncle left a note saying that they were eating out since it was their anniversary. Thus, leaving me free to do whatever I wanted. Honestly, they would probably be happy that I'm finally doing something besides cleaning up the house and chores. And by they, I'm only referring to Auntie and Uncle. Mika, well, not so much.

But the matter at hand was a bit more complicated. I looked meekly at the Akashi residence door. Yes, it's only been an hour and a half and I'm already back. Of course I brought food, I made enough for both of us. I even went ahead to buy extra groceries to decorate his barren refrigerator.

I held the key to the keyhole for the third time but then lowered my hand once again. I couldn't invite myself in. After all, this was Akashi's house. I turned to leave, but then suddenly, the door cracked open, revealing a pair of beautiful eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a husky voice.

I looked silently at him, like a dumbfounded child. He eyed the two bags in my hands and gentlemanly took them from me.

"I was waiting," he stated with irritation.

"I…um …" I started. I didn't know how to finish so I left it at that.

I shied away and began emptying one of the bags. He watched keenly as I placed some stuff in the fridge and others in the drawer and counter. As I closed the fridge and turned around, he inched forward. I stepped backwards and he easily cornered me. Great.

"Does this mean we're good now?"

I looked up at him, disbelieving my ears. Seriousness covered his face. His heterochromatic eyes focused in on me. The distance between us was so close I could see my own reflection. My heart thumped against my chest and I stared wide-eyed at him. I bit down on my trembling lip, confused at what to say. How long have I waited for us to finally bring this up? Is now the time to finally talk about this…this…this that broke… us.

"Yuukari." His voice was barely a whisper. "Breathe."

I think I choked after that. Akashi patiently waited for me to finish. Embarrassing. But he'd seen me do much worse. And I guess I've done so many stupid things in front of him that he mostly likely expected no less from me—to choke at such a crucial moment. The moment, that even I knew he was painfully waiting much too long for.

I didn't know when we'd be able to talk again like this nor did I think we were ready. But if he was the one to bring it up, I guess it really was time. Given this long period of self-reflection, I've come to the conclusion that this whole time, I was waiting for his forgiveness. I was waiting for him to be ready to forgive me. And forgiving myself…I wouldn't bring myself to do that unless Akashi forgave me first.

I waited. I expected. I hoped. Now I got a response. And I'm scared. Really scared.

Apologize to me. Explain yourself to me. Don't show yourself in front of me again. I hate you. Disappear. Any of these would have been fine, and yet Akashi Seijūro, why do you shed such kindness to me who have wronged you so?

Cold fingers lifted my chin. His other hand combed back my hair so he could have a full view of my unreadable expression. He repeated himself.

"Are we good now?" There was a certain softness in his tone that I liked. I don't get that much from him, not even back then.

This probably meant much more to me than I thought since in a matter of seconds, tears began spilling down my cheeks. I swallowed to say something, to end the eerie silence, but failed even after clearing my throat a few times.

So he watched me. Silently, patiently, just like that one time. With no words, I felt him. I sensed his eyes watching me very carefully. Every little action and detail did not, could not, pass him.

I lowered my head, only to have him lift it back up. This time, his fingers stayed. His cold fingertips felt good against my skin.

"Is it okay?" I asked sincerely and earnestly.

He averted his eyes for a moment, but quickly directed his attention back to me. His eyes were not light, nor was it dark. They were simply the eyes he showed whenever talking specifically to me.

"If you hurt me again, I swear I…" his voice rose in anger, but he caught himself. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he calmed down a little more. His grip around my shoulders also loosened, leaving creases on my sweater.

I forced myself to look at him. It was hard, especially when I was suppressing the overwhelming urge to cry. I knew I hurt him, but to such an extent…forget about forgiving myself. I would probably do him more wrong if I ever were to forgive myself.

Despite looking so tough, being so dependable, and possessing unspoken superiority, Akashi Seijūro was just as human as the next boy. He has feelings, he feels just as much as the next person. And when I hurt him, he was only at the tender age of fourteen. Perhaps it was also because of his young age that led me to believe that his love was only a phase in his life. But love is still love. It comes and inflicts the same amount of pain, showing no mercy, to all those stepping blindly into it.

"Akashi." I tiptoed and with one hand, pulled him down to my height, causing him to crane his neck. I angled it so that I could whisper directly into his ear. I often wondered what I was going to tell him if we ever had a moment again in our lives. Fate gave me a chance. But now that the time has come, I realized, it's best to leave it as is. No words were spoken. So I simply whispered again, "Akashi."

His head remained rested over my right shoulder. I'm surprised that he didn't complain about the discomfort that our position was causing him. He simply remained still.

The last time I held him…that sounds so distant. It was long ago. We were about the same height then. Back then, we were much closer…physically and emotionally. I never dared to wonder if we could perhaps mend that which I have broken. But perhaps…

"You underestimate the love I had for you." Akashi spoke gravely.

I was immediately thrown into a state of silent panic. It was past tense. He used past tense.

Was I too naïve into thinking that I'll ever get a second chance? I let my tears fall freely. I pulled him closer and held him harder. My sobs were loud and my chest moved up and down heavily almost as if I was hyperventilating.

"Akashi…I…please…" Nothing came out the way I wanted. I was in panic. I was in such a sorry state, like a captured animal given the chance to escape, but forgetting how to run. I was paralyzed by the slight hope he gave me. Or should I say I tricked myself into believing that there was a chance to make up for my past deeds.

"You're underestimating my love again." He sounded resentful. I couldn't really discern his thoughts.

I released my embrace and looked up with confusion.

"I don't understand," I simply stated.

He nodded his head in acknowledgement of my plain idiocy, my complete inability to understand and process the situation.

"Yuukari Tooru."

I looked up at him and stood up straight. He was using his captain voice. I couldn't help responding like a little soldier.

"Do you remember what I told you back then?"

I dipped my head slightly.

"I will tell you this. Listen carefully. Some things can't be changed. Some things simply don't change. And there are some things that never did change."

His eyes told all. Even someone like me understood. I abruptly threw myself in his chest and his strong arms wrapped around me, tight—with absolutely no intention of letting go ever again.

And in my brain, there was only one thing circulating about. One question. One person.

Akashi Seijūro, how much did you love me?

A/N: My dearest readers. I have finally updated. For those who waited, I am extremely appreciative of your support. It means so much to me if my stories and ideas reach you and have brought you all the way here to Chapter 7.

I wanted to give a shoutout to all those who have reviewed. Your reviews have served to encourage me to continue to write and thus, update. I absolutely love love love your reviews. So thankful. You wouldn't be able to guess who excited i get. I wake up in hopes of getting e-mail alerts that someone has commented or liked or followed my story (and me lol). So once again, for your undying support, I thank you wholeheartedly. And I will be working hard to update soon do those who care enough to read on.

On a side note, I kind of miss naughty Akashi in this chapter, but fret not. He will be back (smirk) very soon.