I'm so so so so sorry about the late update. I've been writing around writer's block since September, and haven't had many flashes of inspiration for this little fic. But here we are, and I think it's one of the longest chapters yet.
A big thank you to Lamanth, wolf's lament, El Conejo Morado, Nedunque, Spiritual Energy, Dark Kaiser and KiraLuver93 for reviewing the last chapter!!! (hugs everyone) I can't believe this has 20 reviews!!! (delighted grin) So, many thanks for sticking with such an odd pairing, and odd way of writing it.
Enjoy this chapter!
A little bit after the whole café incident, I got a phone call from a very unexpected source.
"Hello, Salima speaking."
"Hi Salima, it's Hilary. You know, from the Bladebreakers?" I sat down heavily.
"Yeah, I know who you are… Why are you phoning me, if that doesn't sound too rude?" I demanded.
"I just thought I'd phone up and see how you were coping with Kai, that's all." She sounded uncertain, and I realised I was being unnecessarily defensive.
"Oh, okay. How did you know about Kai?"
"Kenny has a very high-tech searching system." she said with a laugh. "He found Kai's records in the hospital, and they listed you as one of the nurses in his room." I blinked.
"Yeah, sounds pretty complicated." I said at last. "So, what do you want to know about Kai?"
"How he's coping. I know what he's like." We both giggled.
"What makes you think I'd know?" Defensive again. Even now, I can only guess at why I was always so reticent on the subject of Kai.
"Just a guess, I suppose. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, I'll just go-" Her voice got faster, nervous.
"No, don't. Sorry. I'm being really rude." She laughed, clearly relieved. "I'm in pretty regular contact with him, so anything in particular you want to ask about?" There was a long pause. "Hilary?"
"The newspaper article…" she said, almost apologetically.
"Ah. That." I settled myself down on a chair. "You know, I'd give anything to know to leaked it. I could never tell Kai, though. He'd be arrested for murder." We laughed, but not for long, both recognising the grain of uncomfortable truth in that joking statement.
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The phone rang. Cursing it, I got up from my comfortable position watching the television and lifted the receiver.
"Hello, Salima speaking."
"Didyoutellthem?" I held the phone away from my ear, blinked a few times, then replaced it at my ear.
"Pardon? Kai, what is it?"
"Did - you - tell - them?" he ground out.
"Tell them what?" I repeated, bewildered.
"About my leg."
"No … " I frowned in puzzlement. "Of course not. You've always said you didn't want the world to know."
"Then explain why I'm hiding from the world's media right now. There's a fucking television camera out there, Salima!" I winced.
"Is there a back way into yours, Kai?" I listened, then groaned. Oh no, I draw the line at climbing over fences, you hear me Kai? I draw the line just there…
Ten minutes later, I dropped to the ground with a thud and brushed myself off. Looking with hatred at the fence that had torn my favourite pair of jeans, I walked quickly inside.
Kai was sitting on the kitchen table, scowling at it as though it was the reason for his present self-imprisonment.
"What did the table ever do to you?" I asked lightly. His eyes flicked to me, dark with anger and frustration.
"Give me enough time, I'm sure I could think of something." he snarled under his breath.
"Kai, calm down." I ordered.
"You're asking me to fucking calm down when there's the world and its brother out there, waiting for me?" he asked in a tone of angry disbelief.
"Why don't you just go out there and say "No comment" or something?" I snapped back.
"I'm not going out like this!" He gestured to the crutch in a savage movement.
"Well, in that case you're never going to go out at all, because in case you hadn't noticed, you self-absorbed little bastard, you're stuck like this!" I yelled. Amethyst eyes flashed blind fury and I actually took a few steps backwards.
"Don't you think I know that?" he hissed at last. Standing up with a force that knocked his chair flying, he grabbed his crutch and stormed out of the kitchen. I heard a door slam and guessed that he had gone to his bedroom. Whether to cool down or to brood, I had no idea.
I decided to sit and wait until he came out. No matter how livid he was at me right now, I refused to have him holed up in the house like some kind of recluse. All it would take was a simple "No comment".
If that didn't work, he could always threaten to sue them, after all.
Despite my own temper being more than slightly up, I quailed as he came back into the kitchen and directed a baleful glare my way.
"Are you going outside now?" My supposed demand came out as a mere, hesitant question. He didn't reply, just turned away. Moments later, I heard the door open.
"No comment. Now fuck off, the lot of you." Even from where I was sitting I could hear the buzz of eager questions and see the flashes. "Get lost!" The door slammed shut and he came back in, limping even with the crutch.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"You're shaking."
"I'm fine."
"You don't look it." He looked at me, a flat, dead look that somehow scared me more than all his fiery glares so far. "I'll just … go then, shall I?"
Hilary let out a low whistle.
"Sounds like him." she said at last. "Stubborn to a fault." I made a noise to the affirmative. "What about you? How are you coping?" My heart rate sped up.
"Why are you phoning, Hilary?" I demanded again, knowing I was being defensive and not giving a damn. A long pause ensued. "Hilary!"
"I know how … intense he is." she said at last, in a voice that was nearly a whisper. "I know how he drags people into his life."
There must have been silence for a good five minutes.
"He does." My acknowledgment was no more than a faint murmur. "Yeah … I guess he does."
"Salima … if I tell you something, will you tell me whether it's the same for you?" Stupidly, my mind in a fog, I nodded.
"Y-yes. Sorry. Ok."
"Ok." Anyone listening to us would probably have been in hysterics. We were two edgy girls, dancing round a topic that could burn us both. And oh, did we sound odd. Suddenly, in a rush, "I liked him." She giggled nervously. "Did you? Do you?"
"No. Not like that." Calmly, I hung up.
What the hell had just happened? I shook my head violently. Never mind. I had to get to work.
Two months later, and I was glaring at Kai yet again as I cleaned up a fresh load of blisters on his crutch-wielding hand.
"If you'd just use a wheelchair-"
"I won't, so stop nagging."
"I'm not nagging, Kai, I'm really worried for you! Could you please-"
"You're nagging." He cut me off with a look that felt as though he had slapped me. "I don't appreciate being told what to do."
"Fine." I replied quietly. Cold all over, as I always was after he rejected my help, I stood up. "Have you taken your Coreg?"
"What's it to you?"
"Nothing, I already know the answer."
"How?"
"You're tired, you've got a headache and you can't stand up too quickly or you get dizzy."
"I haven't. And even if I had, this would prove what?" I stared at him.
"Kai, you do know that all these things are side-effects of the Coreg, don't you?" Briefly, I felt like laughing as I saw the flicker of relief light in his eyes. Briefly.
"Yes. So if you know so much, why are you standing here annoying me?" he demanded, his jaw tight.
Something snapped inside me. Before I even caught up with the red-hot blaze of fury racing through me, my hand had drawn back and I had slapped him with every inch of force I could muster.
As red bloomed on his white cheek, he simply closed and opened his eyes, a little slower than a blink. He looked at me, a faintly questioning look..
"You really are stupid!" I snapped. Anger boiled inside me, an uncomfortable, churning feeling. "You're losing the ability to walk more and more every time you try, your blood pressure's through the roof, and you keep expecting me to deal with it!"
Kai flinched. I carried on regardless.
"Everywhere I go, everything I do, I always have to be aware of you, you and your idiotic ego that refuses to let you admit that something's wrong! So instead of doing something about it, you order me to come in, to do this, do that, help you up, make you take your medication - you order me around, Kai Hiwatari, because you know I won't fight back, and you use me to make you do all the things you know you should be doing but can't get the guts to do! Oh no, because that would mean admitting to yourself that your blood pressure is dangerously high, that you haven't eaten properly in months - that you can't walk!" I screamed the last bit at him. "Well now I'm fighting back! It's been a year, Kai, and I'm not going to put up with it anymore! I'm telling you the truth! And if you don't face up that truth, you're going to be in a lot of trouble, very soon!"
He stared at me. I stared back, trembling, my face burning. He shrugged slowly, dejectedly.
"Maybe. Now get out." Fire flashed in his eyes, a fire that had been missing for what felt like a very long time. Fighting back tears of anger, and shame, and god only knew what else, I turned and hurried out.
Bad temper all round. I hated him, he hated me, we hated what we were doing to ourselves and each other. And it was all him, him and that stupid stubbornness.
Just thinking about it makes me want to hit something. Or cry. Or both. Something like that. OK, I'd better go before I do something I'll regret.
Hehehe, arguments are fun. This is reminding me of The past is the past, in that I'm writing arguments AND doing medical research! Great fun.
That does it, I'm officially an idiot. I nearly forgot to mention what Coreg is!!
Ok, it's an alpha-beta blocker, which is a combination of two types of blood pressure medication. It works by relaxing the blood vessels, which decreases the blood pressure. If I use any other medical terms and forget to explain them, feel free to ask in the reviews wtf I'm on about.
I'm going to try and wrap this fic up in the next few chaps. But we shall see. The one and only thing fixed in my head is how Kai will die, so I could go in any number of directions before reaching it. Wish me luck, and please review!
Til next time, ttfn!