I'm back, everyone! Thank you to PureBlackRaven, Nedunque, Lamanth and XxMookinexX for reviewing!
A special thank you to XxMookinexX for a really amazing review! I wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed by the praise or amazed at how much you saw into the underlying message of the fic! (hugs) And your predictions of Kai's death were scarily close to the mark! (hides)
This chapter is dedicated to Nedunque, for his truly wonderful reviews. He's been the reason I learnt at least two new grammar rules, and is one of the only reviewers who can criticise my work without making me feel bad. Thank you!
Enjoy the slightly edited version of this chap, everyone!
Oh, I tackled that last time, did I? Oh ... good. Note the sarcasm there. I'm tired. But I need to get this out somehow. God, I don't know where to begin ...
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I'll say this for Kai - he was a stubborn bastard. I knew he couldn't get along without me, he knew it too, yet he held out for months.
I even started forgetting about him, in the end. Actually got on with life.I moved onto a decent shift at the hospital - night-shifts kill you slowly - which meant improved pay! If anyone ever tells you night staff get paid the same as day staff, they're lying. In fact, they're probably night staff themselves, trying to gain an ego-boost.
Extra pay equalled extra social life. Or maybe that should be a social life. I wouldn't call myself a recluse, but I'm always happy with a good book and a CD player. Still, one Tuesday I did actually turn up hungover for work. Which was ... beyond unheard of. I got stick for it all day.
Anyway, I was just reaching the unpleasant stage near the end of a hangover when all you want to do is sleep, when three letters bleeped on everyone's bleeper.
R.T.A. Road Traffic Accident.
Words that inspire fear or excitement, depending on what type of person you are. Me? I'm a coward; my shift was due to end in an hour and I felt even worse than I looked. Any surprise that I tried to stay at the back of the room?
I'm not the best nurse in the hospital, by a long, long shot, and so I was amazed to see an intern gesturing frantically to me about five minutes in. Hurrying up, I tried to concentrate on the important words, like "blood", "saline", "X-Ray", and "theatre", while trying not to stare at the man groaning in agony between us.
Half an hour later, the frantic pace slowed - there were only three casualties - and I was able to ask what had happened. I received a shrug and a curt,
"Van overturned on the M32."
Don't you just hate doctors?
My uniform was blood-splattered and crumpled, but for once, no one noticed, and I managed the next half an hour in relative peace, as all the serious cases had been wheeled away to various specialised sections of the hospital. There's nothing like talking about how the Ward Matron might be having an affair with a third-year medical student to get you through the last bed changes and phone-calls to indifferent paper-pushers of the day.
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I peeled off my crackly, foul-smelling uniform in the ladies toilets, and emerged in a tracksuit and light blue T-shirt.
"You going jogging?" a voice asked behind me. Used to stupid male coments, I answered before my brain caught up with my mouth,
"You kidding? Ever heard of comfort clo-o ... Kai?" I spun around. He surveyed me through half-closed eyes.
"Have a fun night last night, did you?" There he was again, so infuriatingly smug! Like he'd never been drunk or hungover!
"Better fun than you, I'll bet!" It was a cheap shot that I regretted as soon as it left my mouth, purely because it made me sound like a sullen kid. Kai tipped his head to one side, an acknowledgement that I had spoken rather than of what I had said. "Why are you here, anyway?" I asked at last. "What did you do now?"
Amethyst flashed in bright anger for a second, before Kai shifted his weight slightly and replied.
"My partner was in the traffic accident."
Oops. Bad Salima.
"Oh." was all I could think of to say. Very intelligent, I know. It felt like someone had just thrown a bucket of cold water over me, then punched me in the stomach. Next stupid thing I said; "Partner as in ... together?"
"Yes." He gave me a scornful look and started going towards the doors I had come out of a few minutes ago. I found my voice again just in time to call out;
"You can't see him, Kai." He turned, a look of resignation already settling onto his face. I blinked. This wasn't the Kai I knew, was it? Shouldn't he be demanding to be let in or something?
"Why?" His voice was flat.
"He's either in theatre getting pins stuck in his femur, having an MRI scan to check for damage caused by head trauma or ... " I trailed off, trying to remember the third one. I remembered, but wished I hadn't. Kai was looking at me questioningly, so eventually I sighed and continued, "Or he's in the burns clinic."
"What a choice."
"What does he look like? I was there when they all came in." I didn't tell him that one moaning, blood-covered man can look quite similar to another in rushed circumstances. Kai shrugged, his face stretching as he fought back a yawn.
"Why should you care? You made it perfectly clear you weren't going to "put up with me" anymore." Irritation prickled in my chest.
"For God's sake Kai, if it helps your pride, see it as a part of my job!"
Believe it or not, I was happy to see him again. Very much so. That happiness was just tempered by tiredness and irritation and concern and annoying things like that.
Anyway, he relented without much fuss and told me the guy's basic appearance.
"Theatre." I said instantly. Black, with long dreadlocks, there was no way I could be mistaken when the other two had been white, and red and blond respectively.
"So I can't see him." I nodded. Kai's face twisted momentarily, then smoothed over. "Ok, when can I see him?" I shrugged.
"Whenever he's out." I said bluntly. "You want to go to the Waiting Room? I can show you the way."
"Ok."
He was agreeing so easily! To everything! What was wrong with him?
I was really worrying by now. He was subdued and pale, tired-looking, with bags under his eyes. I remembered from before that when he had been on his crutches for a few hours, his good leg would begin to shake slightly. Now, the shudders were up to his hands and he was finding it hard to keep his balance. Add to that his strangely docile behaviour, and, well, ok, I was worried!
Halfway there, he stopped with an almost inaudible sigh and turned to stare at me.
"What?" I said, a little defensively.
"I know you want to ask." he said softly. We stared at each in silence for a few seconds.
My mind was reeling. This was as close as Kai had ever got to openly admitting how he felt.
"What's wrong?" I asked at last, in a near whisper. Something flickered in his eyes and he made as if to open his mouth. After an agonising pause, he shook his head briskly.
"Never said I'd answer, did I?" Unexpectedly, his mouth curved upwards in a sardonic smile. I grinned back, hiding my worry about as effectively as he was hiding his pain.
"I hate you sometimes." I teased. He had started walking, but I'm sure I heard what I thought I did.
"I hate me all the time."
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The day after, I came into the hospital a little early. Just to check. I had an idea, you see.
And I was right, there they were. Kai, and his ... partner.
"You ok?" I asked as I approached. The question was deliberately open-ended. As I was wearing my uniform, the patient immediately assumed my comment was addressed to him - as I had intended. Also as I intended, Kai heard me and looked up expressionlessly.
"Not too bad, thanks." The man smiled at me. I smiled back, giving him a subtle once-over. No one looks their best in what amounts to little more than a blue sack with head and arm holes, but he didn't look too bad even then. Effeminate, I'll grant you, but handsome. Nice eyes. Gentle face. I'm not one for long black hair, though. Well ... only on one person ...
"What do you want, Sal?"
"You know her, Kai?" Kai gave him the familiar "You're an idiot" look and a clipped,
"Yes. Old acquaintance."
"What's your name?" I asked. "Since Kai's forgotten the meaning of manners." The young man laughed softly, exposing bright white teeth.
"Oh, I'm Tynan. Pleased to meet someone else who can handle the world's most famous sourpuss." I laughed, a genuine laugh prompted by the ... interesting colour Kai had gone.
"I'm Salima. Pleased to meet you too. So, Kai's your ..." I trailed off.
"Boyfriend." Tynan answered with slightly edgy tone. "That bother you?"
"No, no, not all." I must have sounded distracted, because he didn't look too convinced.
It did bother me, it bothered me a lot, but not for the reason he imagined. Maybe it was just me, but didn't "Partner" mean a longer-standing commitment than a mere "Boyfriend"? I had a bad feeling there were crossed wires here. And hadn't Tynan answered just that fraction too quickly? Meaning that he didn't want Kai to get his bit in, meaning presumably that he disagreed with Kai ...
In that moment, I felt more sorry for Kai than ever had before, or would again. Somehow, the image of him hoping for a commitment and security that couldn't be returned was more poignant even than the time I had scooped him off the floor well over a year ago.
Call it the mothering instinct. To stop myself from physically hugging him, I fell back on comfortable territory; nagging.
"Have you taken your Coreg today?" Kai shot me a humiliated glare.
"Don't you fucking dare!" he hissed viciously.
I stared at him in shock, eliciting a quizzical look from Tynan, who hadn't heard Kai.
There was something going on here, definitely. That was far too vehement a protest. But what? What the hell was wrong?
I wonder if he knew how much he had hurt me, just then.
I cast a pointed look at my watch.
"I've got to go now. Nice meeting you, Tynan!" With a brittle smile, I said goodbye and hurried away - I was about to be late for my shift, and I knew Kai could beat a clam at staying silent any day of the week.
Screw our little argument, I needed to get to the bottom of this. Whatever it was, it was leaving him in the worst state, physically and mentally, than I had ever seen him.
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Oh yes. I was smart, wasn't I? One unexpected encounter, and I was dragged back into the unpredictable, emotional minefield that was Kai's life. And yet, sometimes I wonder; what would have happened if I hadn't returned like a dog on a leash?
Ok, that's all from me! Thank you to XxMookinexX and wolf's lament for their pointers on how to improve this chap - I hope it's slightly better this time!
xIlbx