"It's okay, you know," whispered something inside his head. He knew the voice too well and he understood that it wasn't a threat to him. It never truly was. His eyes fluttered and he found himself staring at a white copy of himself.
"You're a bastard," Ichigo commented, but there was no heat in his voice as he lay against the side of the building and stared at his mirror.
"I know. I'm a hollow, what do you expect?" he commented, and the world tipped and spun and Ichigo found himself seated in the white clad creature's lap. Shiro's head rested on Ichigo's shoulder and he sighed.
Shiro nuzzled into his neck softly. "I guess I should tell you that you are the only thing I care about, the only thing I love," he said, planting a gentle kiss against Ichigo's neck. A shiver shot through the orangette's spine at the strange, cold touch. "But the one thing I long for, I'll never have. Cruel fate, right?" he said, clutching at Ichigo's body tighter. "A hollow that longs to be loved. Ever heard the like?" he asked.
Ichigo's heart did a flip. "I guess, in a way, I love you too, I mean, in some strange way, we're the same but so much different. So, what does that mean anyway?"
Shiro sighed. "It means that you and I share a type of unrequited love that can never be satisfied, King. I'll be here, and I'll make sure you stay alive and safe. And if anyone fucks with you, I'll charge right to the surface and fuck them up six ways from Sunday. And you, well, you'll live your life, and not fucking put yourself in the position that we lose each other."
Ichigo nodded, grasping the black nailed white hands in his. "Is it wrong?"
Shiro shook his head. "No. No one else can understand what happens in here between us. But I wouldn't mind you getting laid now and then, fucking boring in here," he muttered into Ichigo's ear before he faded away and Ichigo's eyes fluttered open. Still in the fourth lay there for a long time quietly, wondering exactly what he was supposed to do now.
"Hey, you," he heard a voice nearby say. He turned his eyes toward the side to see Shūhei sitting in the chair. "You didn't wake up screaming," he said softly.
It had been a week, and a very hard week at that. Ichigo's nights were filled with terrifying flashbacks and memories, and nightmares as well. He had to have a kido used to help him sleep at first. Then, he would wake at different times during the night. Shūhei and Isshin had ended up taking shifts during the night, mostly because they were the only two that could do anything with him without him shying away from them.
"Shiro was talking to me," he said quietly, sitting up. Thankfully, the soreness and aches had faded. He was in the fourth still because of the intensity of the flashbacks he'd been having. "He wanted to tell me it was okay."
"He's not so bad," Shūhei said with a smile. "I kind of liked him."
Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, I'm not sure what he's like, a big brother or a father or a lover, but he's rather protective."
Shūhei nodded and looked at him for permission to take his hand. Ichigo swallowed and let him. Shūhei's hand was warm and soft and it felt nice. "How are you feeling today?"
Ichigo nodded. "Better, I think. I…I want to leave the fourth but I don't know where to go. I…I can't go back to the World of the Living, not yet, I just…I can't handle it."
"You could stay at Kuchiki manor, I'm sure Kuchiki-taichou and Rukia would be happy to let you stay there," Shūhei said with a smile.
Ichigo shook his head. "It reminds me of things…" he said, looking away.
"You could stay with me," Shūhei offered with a smile.
Ichigo looked at him. "I could?"
Shūhei rolled his eyes. "Yeah, of course. I've got a sofa and you can have my bed."
"Okay," he said. "Can we walk around today? I need to get out of here."
"Then come on, you want to find your shihakuso or you just want to grab a yukata from the cabinet?" he Shūhei asked, standing.
"Just a yukata, I can't even think of being a Shinigami again right now…" he said with a subtle shiver as he pulled the pale yellow yukata over his shoulders.
"You've thinned," Shūhei said, feeling the bones in his shoulders keenly. He reached up and ran a hand over his head, where his hair had grown significantly, down to his shoulders and into his eyes. "And your hair got long. You haven't wanted anyone to touch it."
Ichigo nodded and stood up, tying the sash and slipping on the tabi that sat near the end of the bed and finding a pair of geta had been left in the closet of the room. He smiled, slipping into those and thinking of Kisuke. He ran a hand through his own hair realizing that Shūhei was right. His hair had grown out if Yuzu's almost. It was just as well, if it fell in his face right now, he could avoid people's faces. But he needed to get out.
Shūhei waited at the door after telling the fourth healers that Ichigo wanted to leave and to have his shihakuso and Zangetsu sent to his quarters. Ichigo grabbed his hand tentatively as he came closer. Shūhei turned and nodded tightening his grip on him. He knew this was hard for Ichigo but it was so terribly important as well.
They headed out into the Seireitei to find it was a fine day, warm and bright. As they walked, people talked around them, some commenting on Ichigo being out of the fourth. Others, who didn't know Ichigo very well, wondered who it was Shūhei was walking with. Ichigo remained close to him, not letting more than a few inches separate them, gaining strength and comfort from the nearness. They were circling back toward Shūhei's quarters when a couple of seated officers walked by them and grabbed Ichigo's arm, stopping them both.
Ichigo tensed, his hand spastically clutching at Shūhei's as the dark haired fukutaichou turned with a frown.
"Since when did the traitor's fukutaichou find a girlfriend?" one of the, a tall, muscular man with steel grey eyes quipped while he clutched Ichigo's bicep in a grasp that on a normal soul or human would have been tight. The other stood behind him, a shorter man with blonde hair and his arms crossed over his chest and smirked at them.
"Seems traitors have more fun, huh, fuku-taichou?" the second asked.
Shūhei had dealt with this so many times, some of those that didn't believe he didn't know what Tōsen had planned. However, it was pushing things when they were dragging Ichigo into the issue. He didn't catch the slight straightening of Ichigo's spine at the other man's words, or the flash of gold in his eyes. The grip on his hand was steel-like, so he stepped beside Ichigo and yanked the taller Shinigami's hand off Ichigo's arm.
"Stop bothering us, I'm sure you have better things to do. Or should I report you to your taichou again?" Shūhei said softly.
"Like it matters. You walk around like some big shot, and now you want to walk around parading a pretty piece of meat in front of the lions?" he said with a roll of his eyes and reached out to grab Ichigo's chin to pull his face up. "And you don't expect us to pounce?"
As soon as Ichigo's brown eyes locked onto the steel gray of the man that was about five or six inches taller than he was and twice as wide, Shūhei dropped his other hand. He'd felt the tingle of power shoot through his body at that moment. That was new, he thought to himself. Ichigo didn't even have Zangetsu.
The taller one stared at him, his hand clutched under Ichigo's chin and eyes flickering across his face. The blonde snickered. "Ha, you can't even find a girl, you go and get yourself a pretty boy instead! What is he, some little whore from the Rukongai? Not like you, of all people, would ever find someone to fuck that wasn't paid."
Ichigo's eyes shifted to the blonde's yellowish eyes and a very inhuman growl rose to his lips. Shūhei was glad he stepped back because less than five seconds later, both the seated officers from the fifth were flat of their backs on the ground, the tall one with Ichigo's black clawed hand at his throat, and the other in a similar situation beside him while Ichigo knelt between them.
"I will tear your throats out if you ever say a word to Shūhei again," he said, mask forming over his face and his voice distorting. "I don't need my Zanpakutō to destroy you both."
Shūhei was having a hard time not laughing because a crowd had started to gather around the commotion. Then there was a screech and a pink haired creature came sailing through the air and landed on Ichigo's back yelling in happiness.
"Ichi-chan! Ken-chan and I felt your reiatsu rise for the first time in forever! Are you fighting? Want to fight Ken-chan again? Do you? After you beat these two up, can you? Go Ichi-chan, beat them up good!" she giggled, smiling broadly as she stared down into the shocked faces of the two fifth officers who were no longer being held down with Ichigo's clawed hands but unable to move.
"Yachiru!" Ichigo squawked and held on to her as he stood up. He reached up and then set her on the ground between the two men he'd downed. He reached up and dismissed the mask and wobbled on his feet a bit.
"Ichigo!" Shūhei commented, reaching up and catching Ichigo as he tottered. "You aren't ready to exert yourself so much yet, for soul's sake," he said.
Ichigo leaned back into him and looked up to see Kenpachi had come up by then. He grimaced but held back the full body shudder that threatened to overtake him. Kenpachi, not someone that would hurt him, it was Kenpachi. He just wanted to beat the shit out of him. That Ichigo could handle.
"Sorry, Shu, I just…I couldn't stand for them to say those things to you," he said with a sigh, passing out flat into him.
Shūhei gasped and stumbled at the increase in weight. "Dammit," he muttered, repositioning him and picking him up easily. He saw Yachiru was standing there hopping up and down and clapping.
"Yay, Ichi-chan is getting better! Yay, Ichi-chan can fight again!" she sang as she began to run circles around the two Shinigami who were sitting up and staring at the scene now. "Yay, Ichi-chan kicked your butt and he's not better yet. Yay, Ichi-chan!"
"When's he gonna be up for another fight with me?" Kenpachi asked Shūhei.
Shūhei shook his head. "I'm not sure, he couldn't handle using the mask yet. And he hasn't even touched Zangetsu since Hueco Mundo."
"What the hell is he?" the tall one said, standing up and staring at Shūhei. "Why the hell does he have a hollow mask?"
Yachiru ran in front of him and looked up. The man stepped back away from the tiny tyrant of a fukutaichou. "That's Ichi-chan. He's the Shinigami substitute, and he's Ken-chan's friend!" She glanced over at Shūhei. "And now he's Shuu-chan's boyfriend too! So, you better just be careful!" she said with a nod of her pink head.
Shūhei opened his mouth to argue but he knew better than to argue with Yachiru. That didn't go over too well. What Yachiru said usually went. Kenpachi turned and frowned at Shūhei.
"Really? You and Ichigo?" he said. "How'd his father take that news," he said thoughtfully.
"Better than you might expect, Zaraki-taichou," came a voice behind them and Isshin came walking up with Rukia and Renji.
"Kurosaki-sama!" Shūhei said with a bow though with his arms full he couldn't do much of it.
He came over and tipped Ichigo's head up a bit. "What happened here?" he asked.
Yachiru came up and tugged on Isshin's captain's haori. He looked own. "Isshi-chan!" she said with a grin. "Ichi-chan got in a fight with them because they were mean to him and Shuu-chan but it wore him out so he's taking a nap. He's not up to fighting with Ken-chan yet," she said with a pout.
Isshin ruffled her pink hair. "I'd think not, Yachiru. He's got to get his full reiatsu back yet, but I felt it rise, and was hoping he wasn't in trouble."
"Who are you?" the blonde one had stood up, wiping blood from his nose and stared at the unknown captain. These particular Shinigami hadn't known him during his time in Soul Society.
Isshin smiled. "I was the taichou of the tenth until I went to live in the World of the Living. Ichigo is my son. I am Isshin Shiba."
The two Shinigami had gone several shades paler. Everyone ignored them and Isshin turned to Shūhei. "Unohana-taichou said he wanted to stay with you. His Zanpakutō and shihakuso has been sent to your quarters. I'll return to the world of the living and bring some of his other things so he might have them. Do you need anything else of me? I must return before the girls really start to worry."
Shūhei shook his head. "Uh, no, Kurosaki…er Shiba…er…"
"Isshin is fine, Shūhei," he said with a wry smile.
Shūhei nodded. "Isshin-san," he said kindly.
Isshin turned to leave, waving. "Or, you know, pop works too…" he said as he left, leaving Shūhei with a slightly red face.
-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-
Several hours later, Shūhei was in his small kitchen when Ichigo emerged sleepily from the small bedroom rubbing his eyes. He smiled and looked up.
"There you are, sleepy head. You've been asleep all afternoon. You really overtaxed yourself," he said, pouring some noodles out onto two plates as Ichigo sat down on the barstool.
"Sorry," he said with a smile. "I got a little…out of control."
Shūhei handed him over the chopsticks and took the other seat. "No, you left them with an encounter to remember. Between my 'girlfriend' knocking them on their asses, and Yachiru-fukutaichou and Zaraki-taichou treating you like a long-lost relative, I doubt they'll ever say another word to either of us. I'll remember not to call you a girl," he said softly with a smile at Ichigo.
Ichigo blew the steam off his noodles. "That? No, that didn't bother me, really," he said with a shrug.
Shūhei blinked. "What? So, why'd you go all masked man on them?"
Ichigo looked up at Shūhei and shrugged. "They said you would have to pay for someone to love you, and that you were a traitor. I wasn't going to let them get away with that."
He went back to his noodles leaving Shūhei somewhat breathless. That whole thing wasn't just a reaction to being touched? Or being upset they'd thought he was a girl? It was because they'd said things about Shūhei? He swallowed nervously and then finished his own food. He was about to get up when Ichigo turned and grabbed him by the wrist. Shūhei turned back to him and saw that he was trembling.
"What's wrong?" he asked, gasping and putting his hands on his shoulders. "Are you okay?"
Ichigo nodded. "You…you think…I'm with you?"
Shūhei smirked. "Considering Yachiru is going around telling everyone that you're my boyfriend, we have no choice now," he said. "You know you can't argue with her."
Ichigo smiled shyly, looking down at the floor, a light dusting of pink rising to his cheeks. Shūhei reached up and put a hand against his cheek. "You're blushing."
Ichigo tried to look away. "I just…never thought anyone would want me after…after…" his words caught and this time Shūhei didn't hesitate, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Ichigo's.
Ichigo's breath caught and he opened his mouth unconsciously, letting Shūhei take the opportunity to slide his tongue into the space and against Ichigo's tongue. Shūhei found his hands twirling into Ichigo's hair, stroking and petting the soft orange strands as they slid through is fingers. Oh, three worlds, he had wondered about how soft his hair would be. The kiss became more fevered and Ichigo's hands gripped onto Shūhei's hips, bringing his body closer and closer to him as he tried to touch every part of him at once. After an eternity of lips, teeth, tongue and breath, they pulled apart, foreheads resting on each other and panted into each other's faces.
"Ichi-love, please tell me you want this as much as I do," Shūhei said, moving to nuzzle his nose into Ichigo's neck.
"Shuu, yes, I do, show me what it is to have someone love me," he practically moaned into the touches.
Shūhei smiled and pulled back, looking into Ichigo's blown eyes. "Shh, let's not rush, Ichi, okay? I don't want to hurt you. Let's just…let's go to bed and maybe, if you want, we can touch a little in the night…"
Ichigo nodded, knowing he wasn't ready yet for something so drastic. But being held and kissing and touching…he desperately wanted that, desperately needed that…