"Maaan. Ever since Josuke and his team showed up, all the really meaty cases have been taken up by either his team or Teams RWBY and JNPR."
Indeed, the Ace Junior Detectives had hit a bit of a dry spot ever since the arrival of the Frontier Huntsmen. With all the most hot cases on the market being those involved Stands Users or affiliated of the White Fang, the Junior Detective had found their turf being muscles in on by their fellow students. Teams JOJO, RWBY and JNPR had been taken down several of these folks and, slowly but surely, the relevance of The City of Vale's best Junior Detective Squad was going down the drain.
"Cheer up Neptune! We're only one big case away from reminding people why this city absolutely needs the Junior Detectives! We just gotta crack the biggest, most important case of the century and then everyone will come flooding to us, begging us to solve their problems." Sun's tail whipped around energetically with his speech as Neptune just arched an eyebrow.
"Okay, but where are we going to find a case involving someone so heinously evil that busting them would get everyone back on our sides again Sun?" Sun and Neptune slowly scratched their chins as they thought deeply about this conundrum. Before long, it had seemed that fate had granted them their opportunity. As they turned a corner, the two teenagers were thoroughly shocked by what they had seen; a dark skinned, white haired man of an above average height dressed in priestly garbs who, at that very moment, had been strangling Zwei, his hands firmly wrapped around the little corgi's throat as he shook it about.
"OH MY GOD! Sun, are you seeing this?!" Neptune asked, sounding horrified, as Sun just nodded.
"Yeah… this is totally the opportunity we've been waiting for Neptune!" With that, the two teens hi-fived the other in celebration before they slipped on their detective mustaches. With little time to spare, the two immediately barreled forward and tackled the dark skinned man to the ground, who just immediately collapsed under the weight of the two teens.
"What are you two doing!?" The man had demanded, frustrated, as Neptune and Sun just stood over him.
"We're The City of Vale's Ace Junior Detectives and we're here to put you under arrest for animal abuse Mr… uuuuhhhh, actually don't recognize you." The dark skinned man's brown eyes blinked up at the two teens as he shook his head.
"Oh, officers, you're mistaken; I'm not abusing that little dog. It's choking on a bit of food and I was helping it cough it up." Sun and Neptune just stared at the dark skinned man with deeply confused expressions, before Sun shook his head.
"You can't fool us you… obviously evil guy! You were strangling Zwei, it's as obvious as the hair on the top of your-"
HACK!
Sun and Neptune flinched as they looked back up to Zwei, their expressions dumbfounded as the little corki had managed to cough up a whole turkey all at once. Zwei, completely unperturbed, then immediately picked the turkey back up into its mouth and tried to eat it again.
"Wha?" Neptune's mouth was agape as he mumbled this, the dark skinned man having taken their confusion as an opportunity to force himself back up unto his feet.
"You see officers, I wasn't hurting that dog, I was helping it. Everything I do, I do because I want to help others." The dark skinned man gave the two junior detectives a short bow as he smiled. "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Enrico Pucci, and I'm completely and totally not evil."
Sun and Neptune just stared at Enrico Pucci with a combination of bewilderment and a little bit of shame. The two sheepishly scratched the backs of their head as they watched Enrico Pucci walk over to Zwei and pat the pup on its head.
"Well, jeez, sorry sir. It's just, when we saw what you were doing to our friend's dog we assumed the worst. We promise, the Ace Junior Detectives will never-"
ARF!
Once again Neptune and Sun were left stunned and confused as, seemingly out of nowhere, Enrico Pucci reared his leg back and kicked Zwei, punting the poor little corgi several dozen feet away as the little dog soared through the sky like a ballistic missile.
"Dude, what the fuck! That it, knew you were bad news, Neptune, book this guy for-"
"Thanks Pucci, Zwei really did need to get to his vet appointment!"
Once again, Neptune and Sun were left aghast as down the very street Enrico Pucci had kicked Ruby's dog stood Ruby Rose. Zwei, dazed and growling in light pain, just sat ill-contentedly in her arms by the nearby vet.
"I swear, he's such a stubborn little dog, hates going to the vet. Thanks for helping him get here!"
"It's no trouble of mine Miss Rose, I'm always happy to help in anyway I can."
"Ruby! You can't seriously miss what this guy just did to Zwei!" Sun screamed at the top of his lungs as Ruby's silver eyes just blinked a couple times.
"Well duh- Pucci here just helped Zwei get to the vet, even though he was being a little butt about not wanting to go! He's such a good guy." Ruby said with another grateful wave Pucci's way.
"He kicked your dog! Most people would just pick up pets they wanted to get to the vet! Plus he was strangling it earlier! Don't you think that's a little, oh, I dunno, strange for a good person to be doing?!" Neptune followed up as Ruby just shrugged.
"Yeah I saw that too; Zwei was just choking on some turkey you guys. I really don't get how you guys aren't understanding this; Pucci's totally not a bad guy at all, he says so himself!" Ruby said with a firm nod, once followed up by Pucci.
"It's true, I'm completely and totally not evil."
"See! Gosh, I swear, you boys are so distrusting, isn't that right Zwei?" One pitiful whine from the little corgi only earned him a roll of the eyes from Ruby Rose. "Ugh, not you too Zwei. What is with people and not trusting perfectly nice and not evil strangers that we just met five minutes ago? Has the world lost its ability to trust?" With that, Ruby Rose walked into the vet and Pucci turned to face Neptune and Sun who had merely flinched as he faced them.
"Well, it was nice meeting you boys. I'm off to go do perfectly innocuous things that in no way are evil and are for the benefit of all-mankind. Have a good day." With that, the dark skinned priest roamed off to somewhere else in Vale while Neptune and Sun just watched him go.
"Neptune, you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sun asked conspiratorially as he leaned in close to his partner, the blue haired of the duo just nodding along as he stroked his chin.
"Yeah… that Enrico Pucci is totally not evil." Neptune said with a satisfied smile, which quickly vanished when Sun slapped him across the back of the head.
"No you idiot! I'm thinking that Enrico Pucci is totally evil and we're the only ones who can see it!"
"What? Oh! I mean, yeah, right, totally, I was just, I was just kidding Sun. Hahahaha…" Sun's eyes narrowed at Neptune's nervous disposition before the blond monkey faunus just sighed, shook his head, and looked off into the distance where Pucci had disappeared.
"This is it Neptune, our big break. A villain only we, the Ace Junior Detectives, have noticed. An evil that only we can perceive! If we bust this guy then not only will we be famous, but we'll have done a good for the world by stopping this guy from accomplishing… uh… whatever evil plan he has going on, I'm sure."
"You really think so Sun?" Neptune asked, hope clear in his eyes, as Sun just nodded firmly.
"I do Neptune, I do." With that, Sun pumped his arm up towards the sky. "Look out world, because the Junior Detectives have locked on to their next case! We'll stop Enrico Pucci's nefarious plans if it's the last thing we do!"
"Yeah!" With that, the two Junior Detectives jumped up into the air and high-fived each other. "Nothing could possibly go wrong!"
"Enrico Pucci Resets The Universe "
"So, what's step one in the plan Sun?"
"Step one Neptune is to try to get everyone to think Pucci's evil by way of guilt by association. You see, if no one will think Pucci's obviously evil based upon his public actions, then our next best shot is to damn him by pointing out if his friends are totally and unabashedly evil." Sun pointed to his head with a grin on his face as Neptune just blinked.
"Okay, but what if Pucci doesn't have any evil friends? I mean, what then?" Neptune asked, arms crossed, as Sun just rolled his eyes.
"C'mon Neptune, everyone knows that good guys only hang out with good guys and bad guys only hang out with bad guys. Just look at all our friends and then look at who that Roman Torchwick guy hangs out with. People of different moralities don't hang out with each other." Sun said with a lackadaisical grin as Neptune just tapped his chin in thought.
"Oh hey Sun, hey Neptune." Koichi passed by at that moment, Neopolitan following close behind, as the two waved over at the Junior Detectives.
"Hey!" Neptune and Sun waved back as they walked on off.
"I guess you're right Sun, that is a good plan." Neptune said with a firm nod as he slipped on his false mustache. Sun quickly followed up with his own as he grinned cheekily at his teammate.
"Right? Now, let's tail Pucci and see what sort of nefarious evil-doers he surrounds himself with!"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes! Our nefarious plans are all coming together! Soon, all of Remnant shall shiver and quake in fear before the might of our evil schemes! The human race shall face a reckoning that not even Dio Brando could possibly bring upon them! My Queen, The Evil Salem, shall rule over this planet with an iron fist!"
Off to the side of Cinder Fall's villainous monologue, Pucci sat gathered around a card table with various other cohorts and associated as he dumped a few cards from his hand into a pile in the middle.
"That's nice Cinder, now would you kindly keep it down, the rest of us are trying to play a card game." Enrico Pucci's eyes were cast across the table at the various men who had sat at the table. "Alright boys, read them and weep." With that, Pucci dealt his hand, much to the chagrin of those gathered at the table.
One of the men, a handsome blond with thick lips and a pale complexion, eyes hidden behind a pair of thick sunglasses, groaned as he slapped his cards down on the table. "I knew I should've had an ace or two up my sleeve before coming into this. Or at the very least, I should've ensured my victory was much more secure. I have a right to be happy for once dammit."
"Hey at least you win sometimes… I just keep sinking deeper and deeper into this shit…" The man just to his right, similarly pale and his hair kept tucked under a purple knit cap, sighed as he lifted his own shades, momentarily revealing a 'U'-shaped mark under his left eye, before he put his flat face in his hands.
The last of the men at the table, a pink and black haired young man, similarly handsome to the blond, just smiled with a shrug as he placed his cards on the table and readjusted his shades. "It was a good game Pucci. I have to say, it's always a pleasure to lose to such a skilled poker player. I just hope that I've shown my own progress after all this time."
Cinder watched all of this with a disgusted look on her face as she shook her head. "You fools are playing a game of cards while there's EVIL MONOLOGUING about our EVIL PLANS to be done?! What kind of NEFARIOUS VILLAINS are you all?" Pucci and the three young men just stared back at Cinder, blank expressions similar to Pucci's own probably hidden under the shades of the three young men, as they all just dealt out a new hand.
Meanwhile, several dozen feet away, Sun and Neptune watched the display with keen, laser-like focus.
"Damn… Pucci's even more nefarious than we thought! He's brought completely innocent and kind people into his circle of friends in order to disguise how truly villainous he is!" Sun grunted in annoyance as he pounded a fist into his open palm while Neptune just raised a wary eyebrow.
"I dunno man, didn't you hear what Cinder Fall was saying? Sounded kinda suspicious if you ask me." Sun gasped in shock as he looked over at Neptune with disbelieving eyes.
"Neptune! I can't believe you! Cinder is our friend! We've known her through indirect contact with Mercury and Emerald for almost two months now! How could you cast such aspersions on her obviously and totally noble character!" Sun said with a great deal of dismay as he placed his hands on his hips, tears having pricked the corners of Neptune's eyes.
"Y-You're right Sun… I… I don't know what I was thinking… I think I've let this investigation get to my head. I've lost sight of the real evil here!" Sun nodded firmly at Neptune's declaration.
"That's right man. We have to keep a laser-like focus on Pucci. We can't let his nefarious plots make us suspect completely innocent and trustworthy individuals like Cinder Fall!"
"BEACON ACADEMY WILL FALL TO MY GLORIOUS EVIL, AND I SHALL STOMP ON ITS ASHES!"
"Such a kind person!" Sun declared with a firm nod as he stroked his chin. "Alright, if we can't get people to believe Pucci's evil with his obviously evil actions and we can't get them to do it by showing off evil friends he doesn't have, then there's only one thing we can do… we gotta bust into his place with the others and find some evil plans!"
Enrico Pucci's Apartment, Later That Evening
"Ah. Nothing quite like a long day of helping people according to The Plan and not being evil. It does the soul good to service the people of Remnant in such a way. Now then, I do believe I left some tea in my cupboard…" Enrico Pucci entered his apartment in Remnant with a smile on his face, one that disappeared immediately upon having seen Teams RWBY, JOJO, JNPR and Sun and Neptune all gathered in the living space of his apartment.
"Oh, I wasn't aware that I would have company. Hello there children, would you all like some tea?"
"Cut the act Pucci, we know what you're up to now! We're all here to stop you and your villainous schemes before they can take root, right guys?!" The mustachioed Sun Wukong exclaimed with a determined jab of his finger, while the rest of the group just shrugged.
"Actually he just paid us all one hundred Lien to come here to see what the Heck he was talking about. I don't think any of us would've shown up if he hadn't." Okuyasu stated honestly, the wind having thoroughly been sucked out of Sun's sails as he said this.
"Yeah, especially because they're still going on about this stuff with you being evil Pucci! I keep telling them that you're not, but they won't believe us!" Ruby said with a slight stamp of her foot as Enrico nodded his head.
"It's true, I'm not evil."
"See! Sun, Neptune, you guys just need to learn to be more trusting." Jaune said with a firm nod as Sun just screamed slightly.
"Alright, shut up! You guys don't believe us now, but you will when you see… THIS!" From a nearby corner, Sun pulled out a rolling whiteboard with a throw cloth placed over it. With dramatic flair, Sun ripped off the cloth to reveal several sketches and sentences drawn across the whiteboard; images of members of the Joestar Family being stabbed by Pucci, Pucci standing over the defeated bodies of Team RWBY, Pucci torturing members of Team JNPR and, in an off corner, Pucci making out with Dio Brando.
Above all of this was the underlined phrase… 'Enrico Pucci's NOT Evil Plan'. Despite the heading, even members of Teams JOJO, RWBY and JNPR seemed a little distraught at the images on the board.
"Pucci… can you explain all of this?" Josuke asked, sounding betrayed, as Pucci just nodded.
"I can indeed Josuke… these are my totally not evil plans." Everyone just blinked as Pucci walked over to the board and pointed, first, to the headline. "See, NOT Evil, so therefore, it's not evil." Pucci said with a satisfied nod as Sun and Neptune just scoffed.
"Oh yeah, totally not evil, that's why you're stabbing the Joestars!" Neptune declared with a great deal of gusto, as Pucci just pointed out what the Joestars were being stabbed with. Upon closer inspection, people realized that Pucci had been stabbing the Joestars in the various marker sketches with… flowers. And that the Joestars in the pictures were smiling.
"See, I'm not stabbing them with knives, I'm stabbing them with kindness, kindness represented by pretty flowers." Pucci said with a shake of his head as the rest of the group muttered amongst themselves.
"You're still stabbing them! And what about Team RWBY?! You're standing over their defeated bodies!" Pucci again nodded as he pointed out a few things in the sketch that most people had missed… pillows.
"You're right, I had defeated Team RWBY… in the most life-or-death pillow fight of their lives. I won of course, because I'm older and more experienced in the ways of fighting with cloth sacks stuffed with bird feathers." Pucci declared with a great deal of pride. "Many a long night was spent with my master pillow fighting."
Again, everyone but Sun and Neptune started nodding understandingly.
"B-B-But… okay, but Team JNPR-"
"Tickle torture." Indeed, there were no instruments of torture at the end of drawn Pucci's hands, and from a certain perspective, it did look like Team JNPR was laughing in the sketch.
"And you making out with Dio Brando!?" The entire room went silent at this as everyone just stared at Enrico Pucci, waiting for an answer.
"... Well he was hot." Pucci said with absolutely no hesitation…
"... Yeah, he was, I'll give him that." Yang said with a firm nod as everyone motioned to agree with her and Pucci, much to Sun's and Neptune's displeasure.
"GUYS! These plans are totally evil! Just because he barely disguised them as something else doesn't make them not evil!"
"He's right… the heading does though. NOT Evil, remember?" Pucci asked again as Teams RWBY, JNPR and JOJO agreed.
"Yeah! Jeez, you guys got us all worked up for nothing. Again! Come on Pucci, let's treat you to some ice cream to make up for these jerks and their judgemental ways." Weiss declared firmly as the three teams and Pucci exited his apartment, having left Neptune and Sun alone.
"... AAAAAH!" Sun beat his head against a nearby wall out of frustration as he vented his anger, while Neptune seemed just about ready to tear his luscious blue hair out by the roots as the two practically convulsed with anger.
"I can't believe this! We had him! We had him right there and they just believed him! Again!" Neptune shook his head as he said this while Sun immediately turned on his heels to face his friend.
"Mark my words Neptune and mark them well; no matter how long it takes, no matter how many times we have to try, we'll convince everyone that Pucci's actually evil. If it takes us forever, we'll convince everyone that he's evil! Shake on it?" Sun extended his hand out to Neptune, who just firmly grasped his team leader's hand and shook it.
"Yeah! We'll get Pucci eventually!
Years Later
A group of valiant warriors stared on in horror.
A bright light had shone from the window that had hanging from it one Enrico Pucci, C-Moon floating just behind him.
In a matter of moments, the world they had known fell away and all they could see around them was the deep vacuum of space. Despite this, they all had managed to stand tall and proud, despite the lack of solid ground beneath their feet.
When the light had cleared, Enrico Pucci floated before them, a veritable angel in all his glow and luster. To his side a glorious, white and black Stand with the appearance of the upper-half of a man stapled onto the front half of a horse. Stand and Stand Master zipped across this existence at break-neck speeds, ones that even Ruby Rose knew she could not match.
"You foolish monkeys thought you could stand up to a lion… now, witness how truly useless your efforts are!" Enrico Pucci's eyes shone with the blaring light of a star as he stared down at his collected enemies. "I stand before you with the collected efforts of Lord Dio's plan for this sinful world; [Made in Heaven]! With this Stand, I shall finally reset the universe and perfect it! Every human being will know their purpose in their own bones and never want for direction in their lives again, the Grimm shall be but a distant memory as this newly empowered mankind pushes them back and, most importantly of all, Lord Dio's mortal enemies, the Joestar Family, shall be scoured from the very fabric of time and space itself!
"Lord Dio could not have lived to see himself become the God of this new world… but I, Enrico Pucci, shall serve in his place! I shall see to it that Dio's ideals, his [Heaven], shall bear fruit for all life on the world! His vision shall become reality and all those who shall live in his glorious new world shall bear witness to his glory and benevolence!"
All stared on in horror as Enrico Pucci's megalomania, made exponentially worse by his fusion with Dio Brando's bone and the subsumption of some of the vile, evil monster's personality, lay bare before them. Few could understand the depths of the evil now plain to see before them…
"WE TOLD YOU!"
Except for Sun Wukong and Neptune Vasilias, who stood at the back of the group, false mustaches still very much in place.
"All these years we've said 'Enrico Pucci is totally evil you guys, don't trust him' and you never believed us! Well, look at what's happened! We had every opportunity to stop him before this point and you guys did nothing! I think Neptune and I are owed an apology!"
Everyone just stared at Neptune and Sun for a moment, the collected gang of hunters, gangsters and people of various stripes of life just coughing into their fists awkwardly as they did so before, finally, Ruby Rose stepped forward.
"Guys… you were right. You kept telling us this entire time and we didn't believe you. We're sorry."
"Yeah." Jaune stepped up next, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "We should've trusted our friends rather than continually believe the words of a stranger. We really needed to trust you guys more."
"Indeed. We probably should've seen this coming but, well, I guess we were just blind." Josuke remarked as he kicked a bit of the space beneath his foot. "Do you think you guys can-"
"By the way I'm still totally and completely not evil!"
"GAAAAH!" With that, everyone but Neptune and Sun groaned as they shook their heads.
"Jeez, we should've known. Man, you guys really nearly got us this time." Josuke remarked dryly as Neptune and Sun stared on in completely and utter disbelief.
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah. You guys have just so pointlessly hated on Pucci for so long for no reason… you know, I think it's time we sat down and had a serious talk with you two. About an ugly little word called 'prejudice'." Ruby Rose wagged her finger at the two who just stared in deadly disbelief at her.
"... Excuse me? The fuck was that?" Sun Wukong, the Monkey Faunus, asked Ruby Rose while Neptune just shook his head.
"Oh fuck me, this joke's going exactly where I think it's going, isn't it?" Neptune palmed his face into his hands as Ruby nodded.
"You heard me Sun. It hasn't clicked with me why you'd hate Enrico Pucci even after all this time, but now I get it. The only reason you could hate a totally not evil guy like him is because he's-"
"Here it fucking comes…" Neptune shook his head in disbelief while Sun's jaw dropped in preparation for what Ruby was about to say.
"-a Priest!" Ruby pointed an accusatory finger at Sun and Neptune, who both went from dismay to completely and total confusion as they blinked disbelievingly at Ruby Rose.
"Oh… well, no. But, you know what, thanks Ruby for being tasteful about this. This joke could've really gone straight to the gutter, and I'm glad that you were above that sort of crass-"
"And cause he's black."
"YANG!" Ruby cried out indignantly at her sister who just shrugged.
"What? Everyone was thinking it!" Everyone glared at Yang as she said this, all the while Pucci finished up his preparations for resetting the universe.
"By the way, before I do this, I have a confession to make." At this, everyone turned to face Enrico Pucci, Sun and Neptune with hopeful expressions on their face as Enrico Pucci stared down at all of them. "I'm not actually black."
"... Wait, what?"
With that last bit of utter disbelief, Enrico Pucci managed to completely and totally reset the universe in the blink of an eye.
So remember kids; you judge the shit out of those books and their covers. Especially if they're obviously evil. Otherwise, a gay priest will reset the universe and it'll all be your fault.
Fin
Meanwhile, In The SBR Chibi Universe
"Listen, Johnny, I've been thinking…"
"What is it Gyro?"
"It's just… whatever faults Valentine has as a man, his goals aren't exactly selfish. Yes, he wants to empower the United States to the exclusion of all other countries, but he's not doing it for his own personal enrichment. He's doing it for the people of a country he feels like he needs to serve. Compared to us… I don't know. We don't exactly have selfless aims in this race Johnny, nor do we have a goal that's as grand as Valentine's.
"I'm just wondering… perhaps… just maybe… we're the ones who're evil."
"... Honestly Gyro, I couldn't give less of a shit. I just want to be able to walk again."
"..."
"..."
"... You know what, you make a valid and convincing argument Johnny Joestar! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sing a song about pizza mozzarella!"
"Please don't."
So remember kids, don't give a shit about what anyone else wants or what their goals might be and think only of your own goal and those of your close circle of friends. Especially if they're an evil gay priest or especially especially if Jesus tells you it's okay!
A/N: Nothing much to say here, just had two different ending morals in mind that I wanted to use so I did. For those of you who are experiencing the Alert problem like the rest of us, Beacon is Unbreakable did update five days ago with a new chapter. See you all in five days with the next chapter of Beacon is Unbreakable! Hope you all did swell on your exams!