It was early in the morning at Beacon Academy. All was quiet and the students wouldn't be up for a good few hours yet. The birds chirped, the morning dew glistened in the rays of the sun as that heavenly orb slowly but surely raised itself over the horizon. It was truly a peaceful time on the otherwise active and chaotic campus.

All except for the staff's lounge where a miniature battle royale had broken out between the various staff at Beacon Academy. The teachers fought and fought bitterly, fought dirty, as they tried to compete against one and other, semblances and weapons flying as each member's of Beacon's staff attempted to handicap or otherwise completely remove other members of the staff from the office.

The simple reason for this was one; a machine on the counter that slowly but surely went to work, making something that all the teachers craved and delighted in.

A Mr. Coffee.

For you see, there was one thing that the teachers at Beacon treasured above everything else in their lives; more than their own families, more than their own jobs and more than the lives of the students they had under their charge. Each and every single member of the staff would gladly sacrifice all that and more for one thing; the first cup of morning coffee.

It might seem like a trite thing, however, long had been the tradition at Beacon Academy surrounding this particular Mr. Coffee. For every staff member at Beacon knew that the first cup of coffee that was poured from this particular Mr. Coffee's brew… there was something magical about it. As if the combination of the ground that Beacon stood on, the beans that were grown and imported into this place and the very rays of the life-giving sun imbued this particular coffee maker with some kind of heavenly property.

It didn't matter if you hated coffee. It didn't matter if you despised the taste of it and couldn't stand for it. It didn't even matter if you'd never drank a cup of coffee before in your life and, therefore, had no frame of reference.

Upon drinking the first cup of coffee out of this Mr. Coffee's brew, you'd know that it was the best damn cup of coffee you'd ever drank in your entire life, and would ever drink save for further first morning cups out of this particular machine.

It was enough to make Glynda Goodwitch cry for joy, to make Doctor Oobleck stop and TAKE HIS TIME to appreciate this cup of coffee, to make Port go quiet as he silently enjoyed the magnificent taste and enough for Ozpin, Headmaster Ozpin, to actually indulge in telling people what the fuck he was thinking and what his plans actually were.

It broke people, reshaped them into more perfect versions of themselves for but a brief moment and then left, only to return the next morning. And every single member of Beacon's staff was only not prepared to kill each other for it because while the coffee was worth much to them, few found it in themselves to want to go to jail for it.

But the temptation was there.

The brawl stopped when everyone heard the signal. The small 'ding' that informed them that their treasure had arrived. Every single staff member's head snapped over to the Mr. Coffee and, all at once, they made a break for it. The race was swift, it was brutal and several people would need to go to Professor Peach's infirmary in order to have their wounds sewn up, but eventually one winner did stand out. One winner walked up to the Mr. Coffee and grinned in victory.

Ozpin took his place as primarch of Beacon, the man number one, and produced his cup.

"Apologies everyone, but it appears as though I've won this morning… and this time there were no shenanigans." The grey haired headmaster declared with a large smile as everyone else just fell into a normal, orderly line. Ozpin brought the cup to his lips and took a loving sniff of the coffee inside… a troubled expression crossed his face as he did so. Ozpin quickly took a sip of the coffee and the troubled expression turned into one of pain and misery as tears streamed down his face.

"No…. No. No! NOOOOOOOOO!" With that Ozpin destroyed the table the Mr. Coffee sat on with his cane, several teachers having immediately ran up to save the holy relic as Ozpin threw his glass against the wall. "It's happened again! That wasn't the first cup of coffee! It was a normal cup! Just like the past several weeks!"

Indeed, this had been a horrible fate that the school of Beacon had been met with for several weeks now. Starting sometime after the new semester, no matter who managed to win out first place in the coffee brawl, no one who actually walked up for the first cup of coffee actually felt the sensation or was able to cherish the taste of this Mr. Coffee's first cup of morning coffee.

"Everyone, get me another cup of coffee so that I can check Mr. Radar! It had to capture the culprit, it had to!"

This problem had been considered such a tremendous strain on Beacon's Staff that Ozpin had readily sanctioned the purchase and installation of a full Mr. Radar device right in the Teacher's Lounge so that they might somehow see this culprit coming. The large terminal with a radar dish set on top of it stood just off to the side of Mr. Coffee as Ozpin and the other teachers immediately approached it, Oobleck having poured Ozpin a fresh cup of coffee as the Headmaster of Beacon watched the screen's results with laser-like focus.

…

"Nothing… Mr. Radar didn't pick up anything! Nothing at all! There was just us in the room next to the Mr. Coffee fighting over it! But that's impossible! The Mr. Coffee definitely had its first cup poured out of it! There's no way that Mr. Radar could've missed it! Just no way! Who is the culprit and how do they keep doing this without us noticing?!"

SLUUUUURP!

Immediately all sounds of panic and argument died down amongst the Beacon Staff as they all snapped their heads over to the corner of the room; sat there, pretty as a picture, was one Kujo Jotaro. In his left hand was a morning newspaper which he perused with some varying amount of interest while in his right was a… fresh cup of coffee. Nearly finished while everyone else was in a panic or arguing. Everyone's gazes narrowed as they looked over to Jotaro, Ozpin having coughed into his fist to get the giant of a man's attention.

"Mr. Kujo… where exactly did you get that cup of coffee?" Kujo Jotaro just stared back as Ozpin asked this, his eyes narrow and focused in on the rest of Beacon's staff as they tried to meet his gaze. Try as they might though, the sheer laser-like focus of Jotaro's gaze was slowly but surely tearing the Staff of Beacon's resolve to shred. Women blushed and looked away, muttering softly about his eyes, men slowly but surely began to swear as they feared the beatdown that his gaze implied would be theirs if they kept staring and even the most powerful and respected huntsmen and women among Beacon's Staff found themselves shrinking back from the Joestar's intense look.

"I got it from down the hall and decided to have my morning cup of coffee and paper here with the rest of you. Got a problem with that?"

Several actually. For one, Kujo Jotaro was a notably anti-social man who, very likely, would've just preferred to be alone if he did get his cup of coffee from somewhere less active. Second, no one had actually heard Jotaro walk in which shouldn't have been too difficult considering all the fights that had broken out right next to the door; someone would've been bound to see or hear him come in.

Third was the fact that this Mr. Coffee was the only one in the entire building.

…

"No problem Mr. Kujo, just thought we'd ask." Jotaro nodded in understanding as the rest of the staff at Beacon folded under the pressure of his gaze, Jotaro returning to his morning paper as he finished his cup of coffee.

Jotaro was just too scary.

Still, this did leave all of Beacon's Staff wandering…

Just how the Hell had he managed to get the first cup of coffee without any of them or Mr. Radar noticing?

Jotaro's Adventures In Stopped Time

Jotaro checked his watch as he walked on over towards the Teacher's Lounge, a slight urgency to his steps as he approached. He was cutting it close today but if he kept up this pace he'd still make it just in time. With a flourish of his white jacket Jotaro stepped right outside the Teacher's Lounge and waited patiently for his signal to go, waited patiently for his chance.

When he heard the ring of the Mr. Coffee, he knew it was his time.

"[Star Platinum: The World]!"

With only a slight bit of focus Jotaro was able to slip quickly into his realm of Stopped Time and, now with no urgency in his step, opened the door. All the teachers stared at Mr. Coffee, the various members of the staff looking greedily at the machine as the last phase of their race for the first morning cup was about to take off.

A shame that Jotaro would beat them as he had for the past several weeks.

The first time he'd used his Stand to stop time was just out of curiosity; he watched as the teachers practically tore themselves apart over this one cup of coffee and, for the first couple days, just shook his head in disbelief at their amazing lack of professionalism. However, eventually curiosity overtook Jotaro and, one day, he just decided to say 'screw it' and cheat. He certainly wasn't going to join in the brawl for a stupid cup of coffee after all.

Jotaro shook his head at his own past self's naivety. How foolish and short-sighted he'd been. Of course this cup of coffee was worth a brawl, he realized that now. But what he also realized and quite readily was that he didn't 'need' to fight for this cup of coffee. He didn't 'need' to get into a brawl to get it. No, with his Stand, Jotaro could get this cup of coffee with no effort at all…

The very fact of that made the cup of coffee taste all the better when he did finally sit down with his morning paper.

Jotaro took a long, long drink of the cup of coffee and, for a moment, it seemed as though nothing changed. Jotaro smacked his lips a couple times as he let loose a sigh of relief and relaxation, leaning back into his chair as he popped open his newspaper. Nothing about him had changed to the casual viewer… but someone who knew Jotaro on a deeply personal level immediately saw what was wrong. Immediately saw what stood out. Immediately saw what was wrong.

As Jotaro casually sat there, his usual expression was gone.

Replaced by a smile.

Kujo Jotaro, while sitting down and doing nothing but reading his morning paper, was smiling. As if he hadn't a care in the world. As if all the hardships of these past twelve years; The Stardust Crusade, being made ready to take over for his grandfather as Leader of Morioh, his initial awkward relationship with his wife and now all this business in Vale hadn't affected him in the slightest. He looked over and saw the phantom images of his friends, Kakyoin, Avdol and Iggy, figures who he normally dreaded to see or be reminded of as guilt would threaten to overtake him…

Yet here and now, he met these three with a genuine smile and a raised glass as they all, in turn, gave him thumbs up. Yes, even Iggy, the dog with no opposable thumbs, gave him a thumbs up. Jotaro thought about surprising his wife by getting her some jewelry when he went out that day for his other business, thought about finding Josuke and just giving that kid a hug to remind him that Jotaro and others considered him a Joestar even if he didn't. Thought about just telling everyone he considered close to him how much he really did care about them, even if he affected a disinterested personality almost all the time.

Eventually, the buzz of the first cup of coffee passed and Jotaro just sighed, sad to feel it leave but glad to be of his own mind again. He'd feel that buzz again tomorrow, after all. Before he got too lost in his thoughts Jotaro just raised his cup of coffee up to his lips as he glanced over at the rest of the staff.

"Time resumes."

Later That Very Same Day

Outside of Kujo Jotaro's last class for the day, the various members of Team RWBY and JNPR stood outside of the man's classroom. Blake having accidentally let slip Jotaro's skill as a good psychiatrist and counselor, the various troubled teens sought out the giant, emotionally distant man's words of wisdom.

"I really don't understand why you all are going to Jotaro. I mean, we could just go to some of the other adults who seem a little more personable, you know?" Jaune asked, his hand on his hip, as the others just blinked over at him.

"Name one other time anyone at Beacon's actually given us some good advice Jaune."

"... Okay fair enough. Big brooding guy who obviously doesn't do the whole socializing thing much it is… wow how is this guy the only teacher who's actively reached out to any of us?"

"Yeah seriously, I was sleep deprived for weeks and nobody noticed." Blake said with a slight shake of her head.

"I pretty much had to get up to Port's face for him to give me any kind of advice on my bad relationship with Ruby… and his advice was pretty much just 'Trust Ozpin'." Everyone nodded with Weiss.

"I fucking busted down a bar before initiation and I wasn't even reprimanded." Everyone nodded again, though this time towards Yang.

"I mean, Ozpin gives some good advice sometimes." Ruby interjected with a raised hand, although the young woman's excitement gave way as she glanced down to the side somewhat awkwardly. "It's just… you know, mostly clouded in vague sentences and metaphors. He never really gives much upfront advice.

"You know… that's a good question. It reminds me in a distant way of how, whether we add things to our lives or let them fall to the wayside, that we need to remember that it is life itself that is worth our protection. The things in it, what people might do with it, the changes it goes through, even if it makes it utterly unrecognizable… those things don't matter as much. What matters is life itself, in its base form. And in a way, isn't maintaining that our job? Isn't that what we, as hunters, should be here for?"

"... So you want to take your coffee black Oz? I-Is that what you're telling me?" Ironwood asked, annoyed, as Ozpin tapped his chin.

"You know, this reminds me…"

"OZPIN!"

The gang was driven out of their thoughts as the school bell rang and numerous students poured out of Jotaro's class, each eager for the end of the day and ready and willing to get the hell out of class so that they could take their advantage of free time.

"Okay, so, we did rock paper scissors for this to determine the order; I get to go first to tell him my big discovery, then Weiss gets to go to talk about her family issues-"

"It's really getting out of hand… I think my dad might actually be straight up evil."

"Yang can ask him how to kick more ass."

"You know it!"

"Blake can ask for more cigarettes."

"... I honestly don't know how I didn't see this coming."

"And Jaune can ask for… dating advice." Everyone turned to look over at Jaune who just shrugged.

"Hey I'm running out of options for good advice here! You tell me who else I could ask at this point?!" Everyone stopped to think about it before shrugging in agreement. Yeah, even if Jotaro seemed like the worst possible option to ask for advice on this stuff, he really was Jaune's only remaining one anyway. So all of them waited patiently for Jotaro to come out… only to blanch when he never did. Everyone leaned over to peek inside the classroom, only to find it completely barren, with no sign of Jotaro.

"Huh, he must've went back into his office to work." Everyone nodded as Ruby turned back toward the group. "We can't interrupt him while he's working, so let's talk to him later." Everyone nodded in agreement as they all walked off.

"So what was the important thing you wanted to tell Jotaro anyway, Ruby?"

"Well I think Cinder might be evil."

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"I know, I know. I just figured I'd ask Jotaro what he thought. But you guys are probably right, it'd probably be better to not bug him with this."

A Few Seconds Earlier

The second that Jotaro heard the bell ring, the absolute nanosecond that Jotaro heard the end of class, he stopped time. The experienced huntsman immediately gathered up his things and made a break for the door; he had important business today that he wasn't going to fall through on. As he passed through his classroom's threshold, he saw the gathered friends of Josuke, for the most part, standing outside of his door. Presumably waiting for him.

"Yare yare daze. I really don't have time for this right now. I have to get moving. Maybe next time." With that Jotaro continued to rush out of the building. Today was too important and he'd already had to put this off for weeks at a time several times now. He wasn't going to fall through again. Today he was actually going to see this through. Today, he'd actually get this done. He had to.

He needed to.

The City of Vale, Merchant District

Jotaro's eyes peered into the window of the shop as he gazed long and hard at the treasure he sought. It had been weeks and weeks nearly months, of hard effort but finally, FINALLY, it seemed as though his hard work was about to pay off. They'd run out over and over and over again and week after week he'd return, hoping beyond hope that he'd make it this time so that he could grab one before they ran out again.

And now here he stood, looking at one of the very treasures he sought, sitting pretty as a picture on a display rack.

A stuffed dolphin.

His daughter asked for a fucking dolphin and, Brothers will it or not, Jotaro was going to enable the shit out of an interest in the ocean. Sure, he might've wished that she was a bit more interested in starfish, his personal favorite sea creature, but he'd take dolphins.

With a firm nod Jotaro walked into the toy store… not noticing how the stuffed dolphin on the display rack was taken off by the shop owner. Thus it came as a surprise to Jotaro when he saw some random kid getting one of the very stuffed toys he sought after. With clenched teeth Jotaro walked up to the store owner and, slamming his Lien card on the table, quickly got his attention.

"I'd like to buy one of those stuffed dolphins please. I'm in a hurry." The shop owner seemed completely and utterly intimidated by Jotaro, if his sudden clamminess and nervous disposition was any indication. The man swallowed a lump in his throat that formed as he slowly pointed over to the kid he had just sold the dolphin on the display rack to.

"I-I'm afraid that was our last one sir. If you want to buy one, you can come in next week when we'll be restocked."

The rim of Jotaro's hat cast shadows over his eyes as he picked up the Lien card and tucked it into his jacket pocket… yes. Yes he could come back next week. Like he had for all the previous weeks. Jolyne could wait a little bit longer. After all, it was just a doll… of a dolphin. That his daughter wanted. Another week wouldn't hurt…

…

"Oi, kid." The boy who had just bought the doll stopped, looking to be a couple years older than Jolyne, as Jotaro walked over to him, a serious expression on his face. "Listen, I've been trying to buy one of those for my daughter for the past several weeks now but… well, my hours being what they are, I never arrive before they're sold out. I'll give you what you paid for and extra if you let me have that doll."

The kid looked up at Jotaro with a discerning eye as he narrowed his gaze, a slightly gap-toothed expression on his face as he tilted his head to the side.

"Look mister, buzz off. I bought this with my allowance and i've been waiting for weeks for it too. I really don't give a rat's ass whether some stupid girl wants this. It's mine and you're not gonna get it."

"First off, watch your Goddamn mouth kid." Jotaro fired back, the irony of the situation lost on him as he looked down at him. "Secondly, JoJo-"

"JoJo? Is that your kid's name? Man that sounds stupid! Why would you call her something so ridiculous? You trying to get her bullied?" Jotaro ground his teeth together as the kid leaned forward, his stupid grin stretching across his face as he looked up to Jotaro. "Well I'll tell you what; JoJo can go ahead and suck eggs! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

And with that, time was frozen.

Now, Jotaro was of two minds. On the one hand, he could definitely wait another week. He had money and these dolls couldn't be so popular that they'd keep getting sold out forever. He'd eventually grab one and be able to send it home to Jolyne. She might be sad that it was taking so long, but when she'd finally get one she'd be ecstatic. There was no point in causing trouble here… not even over a little shithead kid who said that his daughter could suck eggs.

There was no problem with acting like an adult and just letting this go…

Oooooooooooooor...

Jotaro reared a fist back and punched the kid square in the face, his nose exploding in a shower of blood that splattered somewhat on the dolphin doll before eventually freezing in Stopped Time. Jotaro may not have had Aura, but neither did this kid, so his punches still put in work.

"I fucking hate kids…" Jotaro muttered to himself as he grabbed the floating dolphin and immediately made a break for it. He really didn't want to stick around for when time would resume.

And, after a while, time did resume.

"WAAAAAAAAH! MOM!"

"OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED?!"

The Frontier, Morioh, A Week Later

"MOM! MOM! MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM, MOMMOMMOMMMOMMOM! DAD SENT BACK A PACKAGE! COME ON, WE NEED TO OPEN IT!"

"JoJo, calm down, there's no need to rush. The package isn't going to sprout wings and fly off." Sienna Kujo sighed somewhat exhaustingly as she smiled at her little girl, leaning down to pick the package out of Jolyne's hands and setting it on a table. Coming some strands of her reddish-brown hair behind her ear, Sienna quickly summoned forth her Stand and had the manifestation of her soul cut the package open. Upon opening it, Jolyne and Sienna peeked inside and, without even a moment's hesitation, Jolyne practically tore little stuffed doll inside the box out.

"OH MY GOOOOOD!" In a pantomime of her great grandfather Jolyne squealed in excitement. "Dad did it! He got the dolphin!" Sienna smiled as she reached into the box, pulling out a letter that detailed the lengths that Jotaro had went to get the doll. At first, Sienna smiled softly at what had to been a nightmare of weekly trips out into a humongous city but, as she read the letter, her eyes started to go a bit wide as her smile became slightly forced.

"Hey mom? What are these little splotches on the doll? Why do they smell all metally?"

'Oh my God… Jotaro… you didn't. You didn't actually… of course you did.' While Sienna was distracted, Jolyne quickly snuck up and tugged the paper out of her mother's hands and quickly set to reading it.

"Jolyne no!"

"Dear Family… spent weeks trying to get this… bratty kid… punched him in the face so hard during Stopped Time that his nose bled on the doll. Sorry. Signed, Jotaro." Jolyne's voice died out towards the end of it as she stared with a slightly deadened expression at the doll, realizing what those splotches that had splashed across it had been.

"JoJo… it's okay. We can get it cleaned up. It'll be good as new. Please, don't think-"

"MY DAD IS THE COOLEST IN THE UNIVERSE!" Sienna actually stumbled back slightly as Jolyne cried out, shaking the doll in her arms. "HE BEAT UP SOMEONE TO GET ME THIS! I'M GONNA TELL MY FRIENDS!"

'Oh… oh Jotaro… you are just the worst influence.'

So remember kids; life is a lot easier to win if you have a bullshit Stand Power or some kind of other advantage. If you don't have that, well then you might as well not even bother trying.

What? What do you mean that's bad for the kids to hear?

Fin

So yeah, I was getting tired of just calling Mrs. Kujo 'Jolyne's mom' or Mrs. Kujo that entire time so I finally just sat down and tried to figure out what to name her. She's Italian-American in canon JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and the general consensus seems to be that she's got reddish-brown hair, so yeah, Sienna. Terribly creative? No, but it really doesn't have to be considering how little she's actually in the series.

Also originally there were going to be more feels but A. I really don't want any of these shorts to start going over 5,000 words, these are meant to be a break for me after all and, B., I feel like feels would disrupt the overall tone we'd set up.

Also, this wasn't the full extent of ideas I had for Jotaro fucking about with Stopped Time, but I couldn't quite stitch the others into a semblance of a story… yet. So hey, maybe sometime down the road we'll get "Jotaro's Adventures In Stopped Time 2: Electric Boogaloo".

So yeah, see you guys on the 13th for the next full update to RBA.