Characters: Blaine, Sebastian, Santana, Sam, Kurt, Rachel, Dani, Hunter
Rating: T
Summary: 11 months after he gets back from Mexico, someone figures out Blaine's secret.
Warning: Minor Violence
11 Months Later
"Kurt, I'm not going to ask Sam's friend to put you and Rachel on the VIP list. This is Blam Saturday. Just because for once we are going somewhere the two of you want to go doesn't mean our plans change. I'm hanging up on you so I can finish getting ready. Goodnight Kurt, and I'll see you at brunch tomorrow. Yes, I love you too."
Well, he thinks he does.
Blaine was beyond frustrated with his fiancée at the moment. Actually, he had to admit that he had been beyond frustrated with Kurt on a pretty regular basis these days. He usually just gave in to avoid the drama, but tonight that wasn't going to happen.
On the 2nd Saturday of the month, Blaine and Sam go out by themselves on a bro date. Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes (when she is in town) do the same only they call it a Diva Date. Every other Saturday of the month they all go out together, which is fine, but he always looks forward to his date with Sam.
This schedule had worked well for 10 months, but tonight one of Sam's modeling friends was going to be the DJ at a hot new gay bar in the Village. He managed to get the two of them in, even though they were both underage. The moment on Wednesday that Kurt heard about this was the moment he started nagging Blaine to get him and Rachel in as well.
This was one of those times that he was glad he had moved with Sam into Mercedes's guest room.
As frustrated as he was, he decided to let it go and went back to getting ready. He had just pulled up his pants when Santana let herself into his bedroom "Care to explain to me why I just got a text from your fiancée telling me to talk to you since you are being unreasonable? Oh, by the way, you and Trouty are doing a good job getting rid of your Cronut Boy body."
"Thanks? And Kurt is whining because I won't ask Eric to get him and Rachel into the club. He knows Sam wouldn't do it so he probably texted you because he knows Eric got you and Dani in as well. I'm sure he wants you to convince me to be (air quotes) reasonable and get him and Rachel into the club." Blaine stopped when he saw that Santana was distracted "What's going on?"
"I've never seen your chain before. I mean I've seen the chain before but not the ring on the end of it. Is it made of seashells?"
Shit!
"Yes, it's seashells. I picked it up when I was in Mexico. What are you doing?"
By this time, Santana was directly in front of Blaine with his ring, still at the end of the chain, in the palm of her hand. He was about to ask her what she was doing when she let out a gasp and backed away "You married Sebastian while you were in Mexico!" she hissed as not to be heard by the others "Didn't you?"
Shit!
"How…? I mean how…?"
She pointed to her forehead and said "I keep telling you people that I am blessed with a psychic Mexican third-eye."
Blaine slapped his hand over his mouth and sat back on his bed. He knew he had heard that before!
He hadn't told anyone, not even Sam, what happened in Mexico but Santana had guessed. Or psychically saw with her third-eye or whatever. Any way it happened, it wasn't good.
Santana went out to Sam and Dani and told them that Klaine had yet another fight and that they should go ahead to the club while she talked with Blaine. Sam tried to protest, but she convinced him to go make sure that they could get in because Blaine was going to need lots and lots of alcohol. She also promised that they would be no more than 30 minutes behind them.
She walked back to bedroom and found a virtually catatonic Blaine "Start talking Anderson."
And he did. 11 months of hiding what happened with Sebastian came spilling out of his mouth, well what he remembered. When he finished, there was only one thing she could say…
"Holy Fuck!"
"Yeah, it's pretty bad."
"That's the biggest understatement of all time. What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to go to Mexico next month and get my annulment. What else am I supposed to do?"
"Blaine…"
"No, Santana. I appreciate your concern but there's nothing else for me to do. It's what Sebastian wanted or otherwise he wouldn't have gone off to Boston. Now, can we get to the club so I can drink and dance my problems away?"
Santana knew there was much more there, but for tonight she wouldn't push "Fine, the first round or tequila shots are on me."
"Not funny."
Twenty minutes later when they were coming up from the subway, Santana received a call that caused her to groan. Loudly "It's Dani. Evidently Hummel and Berry are at the club."
"What? How?" Blaine stopped at the top of the stairs and rubbed his temples as he felt a headache coming on.
"From what Dani understands they were back at the loft pouting because you're a big meany and decided to make themselves feel better by trolling some of the Broadway blogs. Guess they found one devoted to the revival of Funny Girl, and with Rachel being cast as the Schnoz, let's just say the Broadway gays have voted her their queen. And when she just happened to mention that she and her friend had wanted to come to the club tonight, but couldn't get in…"
"They got them in."
"Yes, but only on the condition that she sings at least one song while she's there." Blaine gave her his best eye roll/ Are you shitting me look combination, but he knew she wasn't. Santana felt even more sorry for him if that was possible "What do you want to do? I could tell Sam that you went home."
"No, nuh uh, not happening. This is Blam Saturday. I'm going to go and have the best time of my life while at the same time keeping guys away from Sam and his perfect-for-a-blow job lips." He took her arm in his and started walking again "Let's go."
"Good! My third-eye is telling me that it's going to be an interesting night."
By the time they got there, Rachel was up on a swing singing Pumping Blood while Kurt was standing on a table next to her with his tie around his head, pretending that he could dance. Blaine was absolutely mortified, so he decided to find the bar before finding Sam. Fortunately, he was able to do both at the same time since Sam just so happened to be at the bar when he got there.
"Dude, are you ok? I can't believe Kurt had the nerve to come here on Blam Saturday."
"Really Sam? He whined for four days about coming tonight. I believe it. But you know what, I've decided that I don't give a fuck. You and I are going to have a drink, then are going to go over there by Eric and have a gay old time!"
Sam started to laugh "Gay old time! That's a good one!" Then instantaneously, Sam's demeanor changed "Blaine…"
"Blaine!" came a high-pitched screech from behind him. The second he heard it, Blaine got the bartender's attention and ordered three shots of tequila. Yes, he knew what he ordered.
"Did you see me and Rachel up there?" Kurt asked the moment he reached him.
"No Kurt, I didn't see you because you're not here. Not even you would be selfish enough to barge your way into Blam Saturday when I on more than one occasion asked you not to." Before Kurt could respond, the bartender came back with Blaine's order. He slid one over to Sam and then heard Kurt let out a huff of disgust.
"Blaine, you know I don't drink tequila."
Blaine took a glass, clinked it with Sam's and then threw it back. Then he picked up the other one and turned to Kurt "Who said it was for you?" before he drank that one as well.
"Blaine, you know you're a light wei…What the hell is that Meerkat doing here?"
Blaine froze because there was only one person on the planet Kurt called Meerkat. Sebastian. Sebastian was here? Why the hell was he here and not in Boston? And why now? They only had one more month until they could go back to Mexico to get their annulment.
He thought back, back to the rules Rosa and Abuela told them. The rules were they could not see or communicate with each other, but they didn't say anything about staring at Sebastian across a crowded nightclub. Blaine turned to face the same direction as Kurt, and there he was. Sebastian, just as beautiful as he remembered. He was smiling, laughing, leaning over to talk to some guy. Putting his hand on the guy's arm. Some random guy. Random…
"Oh, hell to the no!"
Both Sam and Kurt watched as Blaine took off toward Sebastian, but before they could follow Santana, Dani and Rachel walked up. They had all seen what went down, but only one of them was aware of what was truly happening.
She couldn't have been happier.
"Please tell me that's Sebastian Smythe" Santana already knew it was, she just wanted to see what Kurt would do.
"Yes, that is the fucking Meerkat and for some reason MY fiancée took off to talk to him. Come on Rachel!" Once Kurt and Rachel walked off, Santana nodded their direction giving Sam the clue to follow. Then she pulled out her phone and handed it to Dani "When we catch up with them start recording and don't stop, no matter what anyone says."
Since he got a jump on the others, Blaine reached his destination first. Needless to say, Sebastian and the person he was with were surprised to see him.
"Blaine?!"
A beyond shocked Sebastian practically jumped out of his seat when he realized that it was actually him. Unfortunately for Sebastian's friend, who had stood up as well, he was met with an uppercut to the jaw knocking him back down to the couch he had been sitting on.
"Stay away from my husband!" Blaine yelled at the guy before turning around to face Sebastian "I told you that you were too good for randoms!"
"And I told you that you were too good for Evil Troll Gayface!" Sebastian countered "That's not some hook-up Blaine, that's Hunter" Blaine's confusion had him add "Hunter Clarington" to his statement.
Blaine whipped back around to verify Sebastian's claim, and sure enough he had punched Hunter Clarington "Damn it Anderson! I told you I wasn't even remotely bi-curious. I was not hitting on your husband."
"Your what?!" Seemed like everyone else arrived just in time to hear Hunter's last statement.
"What the hell is going on Blaine?" Kurt screamed as Sam held him back while Rachel attempted to calm him. Dani filmed the scene like her girlfriend had requested (but yeah, like she wouldn't be doing it anyway). Meanwhile, Santana moved over to sit next to Hunter.
"How's the jaw?" she asked.
"Hurts like hell but just needs ice." He said as he motioned for a waiter.
"Good. So, is your idiot still in love with my idiot?"
"Never stopped. And yours?"
"Beginning to finally realize he has been for longer than he's currently willing to admit. We need a plan to get them out of here so they can talk."
Before Hunter could answer, Kurt started to really lose it "You're fucking delusional Smythe if you think for one second we believe you and Blaine are married. You were there for MY proposal. Blaine is MY fiancée!"
Sebastian reached down his shirt and pulled out a chain with a seashell ring on the end "Well, this ring says he's MY husband!"
Even though he pretty much had Kurt in a tight hug, Sam was able to look over and see that Blaine was in shock, eyes fixated on Sebastian's chain and ring. Hell, he wasn't much better since he was more than aware of what was on the end of his best friend's chain "Blaine, are you ok?" he asked.
Blaine didn't say a word. He just reached down his shirt and pulled out his own chain with a sea shell ring on the end.
Seeing Blaine's ring was like a giant stop sign for everyone, even Kurt. About this time the waiter showed up with the ice for Hunter's face, and he not only brought security but someone that appeared to be some sort of manager.
"Hunt, are you ok? What the fuck is going on?" the manager(?) asked but not before Santana noticed that he looked an awful lot like Hunter.
"I'm fine Cam. Oh, Santana Lopez, this is my brother Cameron Clarington. He's part owner of the club. He invited me and Sebastian here for the weekend to check it out."
"Nice to meet you Santana, but Hunter, you still haven't answered my question. What's going on between Sebastian, the guy that punched you and the dude who for some reason has a tie around his head?"
The presence of Hunter's brother, along with security, gave Santana an idea "Nice to meet you too Cameron, and we're trying to figure everything out as well. Can you do us a favor? Take the two making goo-goo eyes at each other and tie boy somewhere quiet, but separate them. That way your brother and I can talk with my other friends and make a plan."
Sebastian and Blaine each went with their security guard quietly, but Kurt did not. Cameron finally got sick of it and told him to shut up "Listen asshole, you can either go quietly with Todd here to a back room where you can calm down, or I can kick you out. I know the only reason you got in here in the first place was that you came with Rachel Berry." Kurt chose option A. Cameron then offered the use of his office where it would be quieter.
"I don't understand what's going on" Rachel said once they were there.
"Blaine and Sebastian got married during Blaine's Warble Bachelor Party in Mexico, but Sebastian left Blaine alone with an evil troll because somebody's grandma told them he had to" Sam told her.
"Hold up, Touty. You knew?" Santana asked.
"I share a room with Blaine" Sam laughed "He talks, a lot, when he has shall we say intense dreams and he has had many, many of those dreams lately. All about Sebastian."
"Kurt is going to go ballistic" Rachel groaned as she fell back into a nearby chair "What are we going to do?"
Santana turned to Hunter "Give me whatever money you've got."
"Why the hell would I do that?"
"Because I have a plan, but it requires cash. And since I'm a waitress and the shoes you are wearing cost more than I make in a month, you get to come up with the money."
"Fine" Hunter said as he pulled out his wallet "I only have $1000. Is that enough?"
"Asshole"
"Bitch"
Oh, yeah. They were totally going to be besties. Santana handed some of the money to Rachel "Go get Kurt and get him drunk. Totally and completely plastered. There's also cab money, but you can't let him go back to the loft for at least an hour. Try for two if possible."
"Got it!" Rachel sounded like she was an operative in a secret mission, but at least she was helping.
The four that remained discussed and then approved Santana's plan. Sam and Dani went to take care of a few things before Kurt could get back to the loft. Santana and Hunter exchanged phone numbers and agreed to a place for Blaine and Sebastian to meet in the morning. Now they just had to get their two idiots to agree.
Blaine woke up the next morning and had to take a minute to remember where he was. He wasn't hungover, it's just that the night before had been an emotional rollercoaster. He was pretty sure that his engagement to Kurt was over, but the thing that surprised him was how "not sad" he was. Sure, there was a lot of drama he would still have to get through. However, this time he was sure he could let go if he had to. He actually chuckled when he thought of how the Evil Troll Gayface's spell had been broken.
When he got up and went out into the living room, he found Santana as well as Dani. "Good morning" he told them "What's going on?"
"Ok, so when you went all ga-ga over your hubby and your fiancée pretty much lost his mind. We thought it was best to bring you here because Evil Troll Gayface doesn't know where Dani lives."
Blaine ran both of his hands through his hair and groaned. Loudly "Please don't call Kurt that."
"So not happening. I'm retiring Lady Hummel for it. Now, last night Trouty and Dani went to the loft to rescue any shit you had there before, don't give me that look…fine, Kurt could go all Purple Piano on it."
"Purple Piano?" Dani asked.
"Long story" the two former New Directions members said in unison, but Blaine knew exactly what she meant.
"Thank you, I never would have thought of that. I suppose I need to go back to the brownstone and see what's going on." Although he really didn't want to, but had no choice especially knowing that Mercedes was due back tomorrow which probably meant he would soon be homeless.
"Oh, no you're not" Dani said with a big smile on her face "You and Sam are moving in here with me."
"Excuse me?" Before either girl could answer Blaine, there was a knock at the door. It was Hunter…and Sebastian "Seriously, what's going on Santana?"
"Dani and I plus my new bestie here are going to the brownstone. We're going to pack both of you up and bring everything back here at least until the dust settles."
Hunter took over from there "While we're gone, you two are going to talk, and we mean really talk. It was obvious to all of us last night that even though you hadn't seen each other in 11 months, there's still something between the two of you. You guys owe yourselves this."
"Be honest and take this seriously!" Santana added "We'll be back in about two hours." she told them before she closed the door
Sebastian sat in the chair across from Blaine, but it was evident between the two that neither knew where to begin. Blaine decided to be the brave one "When did you start wearing your ring on a chain?"
"I'm not sure. Around the end of September, maybe. I had just had my first date at Harvard and it was a fucking disaster. When I got home I saw the ring in this little bowl I had on my dresser. I found the chain and put it on. Have worn it ever since."
Blaine shook his head and tried not to smile "Was it September 30th?"
"Yeah, it was the night before the first home football game so there were signs with the date everywhere. Yes, September 30th. Why?"
"Because I put mine on the day I moved into the brownstone after Kurt and I agreed that we shouldn't live together right away. It was September 30th."
It was Sebastian's turn to shake his head, but he did smile. That had been too big of a coincidence to ignore "I have a question for you, Blaine. However, I'm not quite sure how to say it."
"Just say it Sebastian. Our friends basically ordered us to clear the air."
"When we were at the club and you pulled out your ring, you looked like you remembered something. What was it?"
Shit! Why did I tell him to just say it? "I remembered that Abuela spoke perfect English."
"Me too! That sneaky little voodoo priestess."
"Santería" Blaine corrected.
"I know." The mood in the room changed as they both realized what they had inadvertently admitted.
"I remembered everything Sebastian."
"I did too."
Flashback: Night of Blaine's Bachelor Party in Mexico, after all the other guys went back to the house
6 shots of tequila, angst
I'm sooooooooo sorry I broke your eye Blainey
You didn't break my eye, Sebby. It only itches sometimes. Then I put some magic drops in it and all gone!
I didn't break your eye?
I just said you didn't, Sebby.
No, but I broke my heart when I hurt you.
8 shots of tequila, crying
I love you so much Blainey. I've loved you since I first saw you. Actually, I've loved you since I first saw your ass. But I love all of you now.
I love you too, Sebby, so, so much. But, I can't leave Kurt. It's like he has some spell on me that I can't break.
Is it because he's a troll? No! He's an evil troll because he makes it so you love him even though he's not good enough for you! Stupid Gayface!
Yeah, stupid Evil Troll Gayface!
Still 8 shots of tequila, no longer crying, Sebastian left and came back
Here, I bought you this ringy thingy from the lady selling ringy thingys outside
It's a seashell ringy thingy. It is the most beautifulest ringy thingy eeevvveeerrr. You should have one too, then it would be like we were married. OW! We should get married. Tonight.
Yeah, let's get married. It won't count since we're in Mexico. I mean it will count in Mexico. I mean if you marry Evil Troll Gayface in New York, you will be married to him there. BUT, when you come to Mexico, you won't be married to him because you will be married to me. Because in Mexico you love me!
End of flashback
"I was kind of surprised that it was actually you that called him Evil Troll Gayface first" Sebastian said to break the silence.
"I know. Santana will be so proud."
"Blaine, did you remember anything else?"
"Oh, yeah. Like I said, I remembered everything."
Flashback: Back at house, after wedding and a shared bottle of champagne
I could have done it Blainey
I know Sebby, my big strong man. But if you dropped me when you tried to carry me over the threshold you could break my ass then how would we have married sex?
We're going to have married SEX! Woo Hoo! Blainey, you have the bestest ass EVER. Have I told you that?
Yes, Mr. Sebby Anderson-Smythe, you have. A Lot, a lot, a lot.
Wait, why am I Anderson-Smythe? Shouldn't it be Smythe-Anderson?
No Sebby, A comes before S. Remember, we told Rosa
(snickering) How about when we have married SEX, the person who COMES last is the one who's name comes first
(breaks out sobbing) That's not fair!
Blainey what's wrong?
(still sobbing) I've only had sex with you know and he's kinda small, and then I had sex with cheat on Kurt guy and he was done in like 10 seconds. Oh my god! Sebby, I've only had bad sex and you're like the king of sex, so when I have married sex with you, I'll be 10 seconds guy (sobs harder)
We can make it best 2 out of 3
(sobbing stopped) Ok
20 minutes later
Blainey are you a vampire?
No, your neck is yummy. I have to bite it
10 minutes after that
See, I told you you wouldn't be a 10 second guy
But I came first
That's why we have to have married SEX again. 2 out of 3, remember?
Ok, time for married sex again
Woo Hoo!
20 minutes after that
(singing) My universe will never be the same, I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came
Blainey, you're so funny
30 minutes after that
I thought (pant) you said that you (pant) had only had (pant) bad sex
I have
No way, because Blainey, (pant) that thingy you did with your tongue (deep breath) BEST TONGUE SEX EVER!
Sebby, just because I'd only had bad sex, doesn't mean that I didn't watch good porn. Now, I'm tired and my ass hurts and I'm going to sleep.
Will you still be here in the morning?
Of course, I want to wake up with my husband on our first day of married in only Mexico
And then we can have more married SEX?
And then we can have more married sex
Woo Hoo! I love you Blainey Anderson-Smythe
I love you too Sebby Anderson-Smythe
End of Flashback
"Blaine, did you remember..?"
"The tongue thingy, thing?" Sebastian nodded, but Blaine didn't have to ask. He knew what Sebastian really wanted to know "Yes, I remembered it, because like I said I had seen it watching porn. But Sebby, I only ever did it with you."
"Good" Sebastian said with a cross between a smile and his trademarked smirk. Yes, Blaine had to have had sex with Kurt in the last 11 months, and that killed him, but that one move of Blaine's belonged only to him. It helped.
"And never, ever call me Sebby again."
After they were done talking, they called their parents. Blaine's parents were so happy that Blaine thought his engagement was over that they offered to pay Dani's rent in full for the next six months so the guys could stay there. Sebastian's dad was surprisingly cool about what happened, especially when Blaine said he would sign a post-nup. They all agreed that the boys should go back to what they had been doing for at least the time being. While Sebastian's father thought Abuela's explanations of annulments were a bunch of bullshit, he didn't really know that much about Mexican law and would have to bring in one of the partners at his law firm. He also thought, if necessary, he could make Mexican officials see that a chance meeting in a New York City night club did not break the rule of not seeing each other for a year.
Note:
The Purple Piano reference is from Season 3, Episode 1
I don't know how Hunter knew Santana's full name, he just did