Nick's POV
I hear the sounds of Amanda throwing up as I open my eyes, I climb out of bed and make my way over to the bathroom door, I wiggle the knob and find that the door is locked. I knock on the door waiting for a response "Amanda let me in"
"No, I'm so sick right now" she speaks through the door and I can soon here the sound of her throwing up again
"Just let me in, I have seen you throw up before" I wait and can here her walking to the door, she opens it up and then walks back over to the toilet where she leans in front of it and throws up again. I walk over and pull her hair back and rub small circles on her back
"I'm a mess, you don't want to see me like this"
"In sickness and in health remember?" she lifts up her head again and looks over at me
"That's in marriage"
"We live together and were having a baby together, I think that could apply to us" I chuckle and lean down to kiss her forehead.
"How can you still want to kiss me like this?"
"You forget that I have been through this before" I hope this hasn't struck a nerve with her, I know that Maria is a sore subject for her, she loves Zara as if she was her own daughter but sometimes I feel like it's just a constant reminder about my past with Maria and that I will always have a connection to her because of our daughter. Finding out about Gil was easier for her to take in because it was from a past relationship and I didn't even know about having a son until it was brought up in a case, it was an old flame that had died out when she came back into my life but it wasn't the same as building a marriage with someone, having a child together because we loved each other we wanted to bring new life into the world, a life we created together. While that was a long time ago and it had been so long since I had tried to save my ex-marriage and now I have my life with Amanda, and the new life we are about to bring into the world.
"What are we going to do with three kids?" I hadn't thought about adding the new baby to the equation that is now our crazy life, having the two together has had its struggles but adding a brand new baby might make things harder, I don't always have Zara and Gil but when I do it would be three kids to take care of and one would be an infant. I know that we will have some time to get used to being new parents, it will be easier for me since I won't be a first time parent but it make take some time for Amanda to adjust, I just hope that everything won't be too overwhelming for her.
"We'll figure it out" she stands up and pushes her hair back into a pony tail, she flushes the toilet and then runs the water as she puts toothpaste on her toothbrush and starts to brush her teeth. I sand up and start the shower, Amanda spits and finishes brushing her teeth and sets down the toothbrush on the sink
"I'll go get them up" she walks out of the bathroom closing the door behind her and I undress and step into the shower, I quickly wash my hair and my body and then step out of the shower, I dry off my hair and wrap a towel around my waist and step out into the bedroom and pick out a new suit to wear, I dress and then walk out into the room and find Zara sitting on the counter as Amanda puts her hair up into a pony tail, when she's done Zara hops down and Amanda hands Gil a bowl of cereal. Zara runs up to me and and smiles up showing proudly what Amanda did to her hair
"Amanda put my hair up for me"
"It looks so pretty"
"Thank you Amanda" she smiles down at Zara and it's something that is so simple yet it still warms my heart to see my daughter embracing Amanda, it wasn't easy for Zara when me and her mom got a divorce, she was always asking when I was going to come back and live with her all the time like things used to be but from the moment I introduced Amanda to her as more than just my coworker but as my girlfriend she has handled it so well, and not too long after they both formed a bond that gets stronger everyday. We soon have fed both of the kids and got them into the car and dropped them off at my moms house, I sit in the car and watch as Amanda says goodbye to my mom and jogs down the steps back into the car
"Did you tell my mom?" Amanda buckles her seat belt and I start the car and back out of the driveway
"About the baby?"
"Yeah"
"No, I wasn't exactly ready yet"
"If Zara has anything to do with it then she will know in the next five minutes" I chuckle at remembering the countless times my daughter had let things slip before and knowing something as big as this won't be an exception.
"You think she will say something"
"Not on purpose but it won't be the first time she let something slip, I just don't want to be on the other side of my mothers anger"
"You think she will be mad?"
"Mad that she found out about her grandchild from someone that wasn't me? Most definitely"
"You don't think she will be mad at me do you?"
"Of course not, your carrying her grandchild now, you couldn't do anything wrong in her eyes ever again" that earns a laugh from her and she looks over at me
"She hates Maria now though"
"She doesn't hate her, she loves Zara too much for that but you are nothing like Maria" my mother wasn't happy with all the things that Maria had done, taking away Zara from me countless times but at the end of the day Zara wouldn't be here without Maria and my mother takes that into account after all the things she had done she could never truly hate her.
"I know that" she turns away and looks out the window, I hate it when she compares herself to Maria, it makes me upset whenever she does this to herself. It has been a couple of years since me and Amanda have been together but the idea of Maria might still be in the back of her mind, it has come to me time and time before but maybe she thinks that my experience with Maria has messed me up, and I know she thinks she is messed up herself. We pull into the the parking lot of the prescient and I turn off the car and we kinda sit there for a second not saying anything, she turns to me and puts her hand on my leg
"Remember we aren't telling anyone at work"
"Yes I do remember" she leans over and gives me a quick kiss on my lips and gets out of the car , I follow her and we make our way into the prescient together and back into the world that I work so hard everyday to keep my children away from. As soon as we walk in Fin is standing at his desk as if he is ready to leave
"Good to see you back at work today partner, feeling any better?"
"Yeah I am, thank you Fin"
"Did Amaro take good care of you?" he has known about our relationship since the very beginning basically and yet he is still looking out for her, the relationship they have is very close and one that can only be understood by being someones partner for years like they have, I have the same thing with Olivia. While Fin's big brother act can sometimes get on both of our nerves I am really glad to know that there is someone else looking out for her.
"He did Fin, you don't have to worry about that" I know Amanda isn't ready to tell people yet but I know that if she was going to cave and tell someone it would be Fin.
"Ready to go?"
"Go we just got here?"
"Sargent wants us to go and check up with the vic and make sure her story hasn't changed overnight, Barba is going to have a hard enough time with a she said he said case that Liv just wants to make sure his job isn't harder if she is being inconsistent"
"Okay, lets go then" she turns to me and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, I try and ignore the sarcastic eye role that Fin gives us, Amanda goes over to Fin and I watch as they leave. I spend the next few hours working with Liv on piecing together the night before and also waiting for Amanda to come back, I feel like she will be strong enough to not say anything but another part of me that knows her and Fin's relationship makes me think she might tell him about the baby. Either way I am fine with it, I would love to share our joy with all of our closes friends but I know how Amanda can be about her personal life and family, she has had many problems with her family and like me came from a pretty dysfunctional one, I'm sure she saw some of the same things I did growing up and it has left her guarded, it was here among friends when she really let us in, it was me that helped her open up more. Me and Liv are going over the vics story for what seems like the hundredth time when my phone starts to ring, I pull it out and look down at the contact to see its my mom calling
"Do you need to take that?"
"It's my mom, it could be something about the kids"
"Go ahead take it" she smiles at me and I walk out of her office and into an empty room, since becoming a parent herself she really understands the day to day occurrences that comes with having children. When I am alone I click the phone to answer the call and prepare myself for the worst, a million different scenarios about situations Gil and Zara could have gotten themselves into pop into my mind as I answer my phone
"Hi mom"
"Nicolas Amaro how could you not tell me?" she sounds angry and is using my full name, those two things together are never a good sign.
"Tell you what? Is everything okay with the kids?"
"Of course everything is okay with them, but how could you not tell me that Amanda is pregnant?" I was right, Zara probably said something, she lasted longer than I thought she would though.
"Mom I'm sorry, we just found out yesterday and we haven't told anyone else yet"
"How come I had to hear about this from Zara?"
"We weren't even going to tell them yet either, they overheard us talking though"
"Have you started planing yet? How far along is she?"
"I don't have time to talk right now, I am very busy at work okay? We can talk later" I say a quick goodbye and hang up the phone, she reacted exactly how I thought she would and is probably going to have told my whole family by the time we go to pick the kids up tonight. I walk back out into Liv's office and find her still going over her notes and the pictures of the vic that were taken at the hospital yesterday, it shows the bruises she received after from the looks of it a very violent rape.
"Everything okay with the kids?"
"Yeah they are fine, it was just my mom being my mom" soon after the phone call with my mother Amanda and Fin walk into the prescient and I walk over to her "Can I talk to you real quick?" she looks over and Fin
"It's okay, I will just go update Liv on where we are with the investigation" she follows me and we make our way back into the room where I just got done talking with my mom
"What is it?"
"My mom found out"
"Zara told her didn't she?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry, I know you didn't want to tell anyone yet but I thought I should warn you considering she wants to talk all about it when we pick the kids up tonight"
"That's okay, she was going to find out eventually" she is surprisingly calm about this, I expected her to be a little upset by this, overwhelmed even, and yet shes not. "Besides I told Fin" she looks down and I burst into laughter "What?"
"I knew it"
"You knew nothing"
"I knew you would cave, I know this is a surprise but admit it you are excited and want to tell all our friends"
"Of course I am" she playfully hits me "I'm having a baby with you, what isn't there to be excited about" she kisses me and when she pulls away I smile at her
"I love you"
"I love you too"
"Can we tell Olivia now?"
"Sure, since everyone else knows" I laugh again and follow her out of the room
"I'm just glad you aren't upset or anything that by the end of the day most of my family will probably know about this"
"You didn't say anything about that"
"You know how my mom is" we walk back into Liv's office and find her and Fin in conversation, they stop when we walk into the room
"Fin was just telling me the information you got today"
"Before we continue on the case me and Nick wanted to tell you something"
"Okay go ahead" Amanda takes my hand into hers a squeezes it
"I'm pregnant" Fin smiles as if he is hearing it for the first time and Olivia smiles and stands up to come and hug both of us
"Congratulations you guys, I'm so happy for you"
"Thank you"
"When's the wedding?" Fin says it in a joking tone but it makes me wonder if this means were going to get married now, Amanda didn't want to before because she liked the way things were but now that things are changing why stop there? Why not make it that more official?
"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that we need to get married, besides having a shotgun wedding screams that I'm knocked up"
"But that is what happened" Fin laughs at his own joke and Amanda rolls her eyes at him, she tries to act like she is offended but even she cracks a smile.
"While I am so happy for you guys we really need to get back to this case, criminals never rest" she walks out of the room and we all follow behind her, we are back to our job of helping the victims and doing as best as we can to keep New York a little safer for everyone. Telling everyone closest to us have made everything start to set in and feel a little more real.