It had been a long trip. This was the first time she had ever been south of The Neck. Her father forced her into the stage coach with a few ladies from some other northern houses for the first two days of the journey. With enough arguing, pleading, and threatening to throw herself from the moving carriage he finally conceded. The feeling of the warm breeze in her hair, the gleam of sweat on her cheekbone from the humid air made her feel as free as a bird in flight.
On these long rides, Lyanna found herself thinking solely of her dragon. Rhaegar had his grasp around her heart and it seemed impossible to get him out of her mind. She couldn't wait for the moment to be held in his arms again, without him she felt homesick. Part of her felt stupid, like a lovesick puppy fantasizing about a married man, a prince, the heir to the seven kingdoms, whom would never truly be hers. She knew they wouldn't end up together; in a year or two she would be living in Storm's End wearing a gown embroidered with a stag draped over a swollen belly being kicked by the babe of Lord Baratheon.
These thoughts made tears come to her eyes. This part of her head that betrayed her heart was right, he'd never be hers no matter how many times she gave herself to him. Part of her regretted all she'd done with him. She told him things she had never once said aloud, not even to Fryda who was her most trusted friend. She cried in front of him, she showed him a side of herself no one else had ever seen. He saw how truly vulnerable she was, she broke down her wall for him. He saw her as scared girl, angry at people who love her.
Lyanna spent the ride to Harranhall reflecting on all the choices she'd made and her recent behaviors. She felt a bit scared and a bit stupid; she feared that once she reached Harranhall and saw Rhaegar again he would act like he didn't know her. Or worse, tell people about her and make her feel like a common whore.
At the time, Lyanna wanted nothing more than to give herself entirely to him. But now she feared that she rushed herself, like giving her maidenhood to him was just a way to get rid of it on her terms. With Rhaegar, everything was different. He listened, he understood, she didn't feel like a wild child or an outsider with him. So much of her life had been spent feeling like misfit, she didn't fit in with the other girls nor the boys. For the first time in her life, she didn't feel like a stranger looking in; Rhaegar understood her pain and she understood his. The nights they shared were magical and they were the only times she felt like she mattered, she was listened to, and she was loved.
She was sure that Rhaegar felt the same about her. The pain he was feeling she understood. He didn't want to be married, he loved his wife for bringing their children into the world but she didn't understand him, or even like him. Being with her was out of duty and there was nothing else to it. He longed for love and to be loved. He lived his life feeling empty, like the only thing that defined him was the threee headed dragon sigil on his cloak and the throne he would soon be placed in for the rest of his life. Lyanna felt sorry for him, he seemed so unhappy. The nights they'd spent together she hopeed would heal his sad heart but it was not likely. They both felt great pain, pain that brought them closer. Being together seemed to ease the pain they had been feeling their whole lives. Perhaps, Lyanna thought, he is using me, just as I am using him to fill this hole within me.
"Lyanna, are you alright?" Ned asked as he steered his gelding towards her.
"Of course, I'm fine." She said looking at him with a forced smile.
"Why were you crying?" He said softly.
"Oh," she said swallowing "this southern air seems to make my eyes water. Perhaps I'm melting." She smirked.
"I'm surprised the whole lot of us haven't turned into a puddle." Ned smiled back but he watched her with sympathetic eyes.
"Are you excited for the tourney?" She asked hoping to change the subject.
"I suppose, the feast will be nice. You should be excited, you get to see your betrothed." He looked like he was waiting to hear her curse Robert Baratheon's name.
"Yes, that will be interesting. I'm much more excited for all the food. I plan on getting fat." She laughed.
"Getting fat? Hopefully, your body will catch up with your head. Gods know your neck is suffering." Brandon chuckled while riding up from behind them. Lyanna rolled her eyes while Ned tried to hide his smile. Brandon kicked his steed forward.
"Sometimes I wish someone would cut out his tongue." She said under her breath.
"He just wants a reaction." Ned smirked. Brandon never teased Ned the way he did Lyanna or even Benjin. Lyanna never bickered with Ned like she did with Brandon, he wasn't a normal big brother. He cared about her, he worried about her, and most importantly he respected her. Mostly everyone tried to push her inside the mold of a perfect, noble lady but not Ned. He gave her sparring lessons, he'd race her on horse back, he'd help her beat up the boys that teased her.
Ned was the only one to accept Lyanna for who she was. When their mother died they stayed close. Their father was a cold, stern man and they were all eachother had. They would play in the hot springs near the castle, they would spend all day sitting in the branches of the weirwood tree telling jokes and stories, some nights they would both meet in Benjin's nursery. Ned would rock his cradle as Lyanna sang the lullabies their mother sang to them as babes.
"Thank you, big brother." She said to Ned. He looked at her strangely.
"For what?" He asked.
"For being my friend and for not being an arse." She smiled at him, he returned the smile and retreived a leather flask from his saddle pack. He gulped it down and offered it to her. She took it from him and drank, wincing after each swallow.
"Rum?" She asked in surprise while handing it back.
"Sailors are a fan of this, what do you think?" He asked, tucking it in a pocket.
"I was expecting water, or maybe ale. It was a surprise to say the least. Tastes a bit like posion" She chuckled and steered her mare around a deep puddle. Lyanna smiled, it was the first honest smile to grace her face in what seemed to be a lifetime. These past few months had seemed to be an alternate reality of sorts. Like she was living a life that wasn't hers, she felt like she was in a dream that she knew she would wake up from.
Perhaps my dragon is just a hallucination. She thought to herself, the thought almost made her chuckle. It was entirely possible; she could have fallen from her horse, hit her head and dreamt of seeing a silver haired prince.
Lyanna couldn't wait for the day to come when this trip would end and she wouldn't have so much time to think. She couldn't stop thinking about everything, Rhaegar, Robert Baratheon, her future, her father. Everything that caused her heart to race and her brow to sweat was stuck on her mind. She just wanted peace, she tried distracting herself with thoughts of the tourney or focusing on the foreign scenery around her. She even listened to father talk about all the tourneys he'd won in his youth. Nothing helped get her mind clear.
The sun was setting soon and Lyanna watched everyone set up camp for the night from her mare's back. She thought it was entertaing watching the men argue over tent placements or fire building. She sat there, alone and tired, not wanting to dismount in fear of the soreness of her legs from riding so long.
"Lyanna, there's a river past those trees. Want to go skip stones until camp is ready?" Benjin asked breathless from running across the clearing. She nodded and dismounted. Her legs trembled a little when she jumped from the mare, she kicked the dirt around her and jumped a couple times until they felt a little better. They both ran towards the trees, he liked to weave through the tents and groups of men drinking in front of budding fires, she kept up with him.
Benjin disappeared behind the line of trees, Lyanna had to duck under branches, a few got caught in her hair and pulled it from the leather strip tying it out of her face. She tied her hair back as she caught her breath. A cool breeze blew from the water's surface, the river reflected the pink sunset above them.
Benjin tossed her a smoothe, round stone that size of her palm. He started to skip the rocks across the river. One made it to the bank on the other side, he cheered when he heard the thud of the stone against the muddy bank. She bent her knees and threw the stone aiming at the river's bend. The stone skipped three times before dropping into the water.
He kept throwing the stones, some skipped only once or twice others skipped five or six times. Benjin was much better than she was, he could spend all day skipping stones and he knew how to find the perfectly shaped rock. Lyanna sat down on a patch of moss near the bank. The air started to cool and the sound of crickets were lulling her to sleep. The ground was so soft and cool here and the sound of the scenery and Benjin's stone skipping seemed to be the perfect background music.
She opened her eyes and she was standing in the clearing where she met Rhaegar, there was snow on the ground and little flurries falling around her she didn't even feel the cold. She was looking around for her dragon, he was nowhere to be found. She called his name but there was no answer. She turned around and saw the little tent they shared, there was a lantern lit inside it and she could see the yellow sillouhettes of two people kissing. She walked towards it and called Rhaegar's name.
"Rhaegar, my love? Are you here?" She called out but again no answer. After what seemed like a minute walk that lasted an eternity she reached the tent. She could see the outlines of the two people making love inside her tent, she could hear their breath. She feared to find her dragon next to another woman.
Lyanna ripped open the entrance of the tent and gasped. There was no couple, rhaegar wasn't there, but the she wolf she saw the other day was there. Laying on a their bed of furs with her front paws crossed, panting.
"Hi, girl." Lyanna let out a breath of relief. She patted her thigh and the she wolf tilted her head. Lyanna whistled and waved the wolf to come to her, the wolf didn't budge. She stepped into the tent towards the wolf and it growled deeply at her and bared its teeth. Lyanna stepped back out of the tent.
She was only a few steps outside the tent when it was suddenly engulfed in flames. She started to scream as the wolf caught on fire, it sat there peacefully as it's fur singed and its flesh burned. Lyanna cried and screamed while the tent burned with the wolf inside. The tent fell to the ground and the last of the flames went out. She kicked around the debris to find the wolf's body. Lyanna kicked a large piece of burned hide and what was underneath it made her throat close and tears fall from her eyes.
Instead of seeing the wolf's burnt carcus, she saw herself. She was laying naked on her side with her knees pulled to her chest. Her pale skin was littered with spots of black ash. Lyanna felt sick to her stomach, she leaned down and touched this replica to see if it was real. She touched the shoulder and its skin came off onto her hand. Lyanna felt she was going to be sick as she wiped the charred skin onto her dress.
"With the union of dragons and wolves, the wolf burns alive." A wise voice reflected. She turned to see an old man dressed in black, his hair was white and his skin wrinkled.
"Who are you?" She asked while trying to compose herself.
"A warning." He looked at her with sadness and pity. Before she could reply or question his cryptid response he started yelling her name.
"Lyanna! Lyanna! Lyanna."
She opened her eyes to see Benjin yanking on her arm to wake her up.