Nick's POV
"Do you want to know the sex?" I look to Amanda, we already had this conversation what feels like a million times, I want to know and she isn't sure yet. I fount out as soon as possible when Maria was pregnant with Zara and I tried to tell Amanda how much easier it made things, we would know what kinds of cloths to buy and what color to paint the baby's room but she still was against it. I think it's because she is afraid it will be a girl, she has said countless times how she is convinced that crazy runs through her family, and it's girls that have it worst. I also think that she is afraid it will be a girl and make bad decisions, Amanda has been through a lot and we see on a daily basis how easily woman get taken advantage of, there is a part of Amanda that worries our child will somehow be a victim, like she was once. The doctor looks from Amanda and I looking for an answer.
"We aren't sure yet"
"That is totally normal, especially with first time mothers. Why don't I write it down and put it in an envelope, that way you can open it any time you are ready" Amanda looks revealed, this gives her the option to put this aside for as long as she wants.
"Thank you"
"I will be right back" He smiles and then leaves the room. Amanda is pulling her shirt back down over her large belly and is siting up.
"See, the doctor thinks it's normal that I don't want to know"
"I never said it wasn't normal, I just think it will make things so much easier to know in advanced"
"Well I just want a little more time that's all"
"Babe, I know that, but just think about it okay?"
"I will"
"Besides, if we know the sex then we can actually give it a name rather than just calling it baby Amaro"
"You know I hate it when Fin dose that"
"Well then maybe we should just find out so then it can be baby girl Amaro or baby boy Amaro" This earns a little smile from her. The doctor walks back in the the envelope and more sonogram pictures in hand.
"Thank you doctor"
"You two have a nice day" We both walk out together and get into the car, Amanda is quiet. I am about to ask her what's wrong when my phone buzzes, it is sitting in the cup holder and Amanda looks down at it.
"Who is it?"
"Your mom"
"What dose it say?"
"It says 'Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?' Wow, it's like she could sense it"
"Text her back 'Not yet'" She texts my mom back and sets the phone back into the cup holder, she gets quite again. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm just thinking"
"Thinking about what?"
"Possible names for the baby"
"Really, I already thought of a couple myself"
"What are they?"
"For a boy I was thinking Alejandro or Mateo, and for a girl I liked Isabella or Camilla" Amanda starts laughing "What?"
"They are so Latin"
"Exactly, my mom would love to have a grandchild with a Latin name"
"What about Zara? That isn't very Latin, besides this baby has a white mom" She laughs
"Maria choose Zara's name, and Alejandro can be called Alex for short, and Isabella could be called Bella"
"I could get on board for Alex, and as much as I hate it the only name I have been able to think of is for a girl"
"Let's hear it"
"I liked the name Jessie"
"Jessie?" I can't contain my laughter, it just pours out of me.
"What's wrong with Jessie?"
"It's just so southern, and Amanda I love you but I absolutely hate that name"
"There is no hope for Jessie?"
"No chance whatsoever"
"See, and you wonder why I am hoping for a boy" I pull up to the prescient and park the car, I look over to the envelope and Amanda follows my eyes. She picks it up and holds it close "And this is coming with me, just to make sure you don't get any ideas about sneaking a peek"
"Fine" We both get out of the car and walk back into the building and get into the elevator. We walk out of the elevator and of course are greeted by everyone, all desperate to know if it's a boy or a girl.
"So what is it? What is baby Amaro"
"Fin, you know I hate it when you do that"
"Just tell me so then I can stop referring to it as baby Amaro"
"We didn't find out"
"Why not?"
"Amanda didn't want to know yet, the doctor wrote it down and put it in an envelope that Amanda is currently holding hostage"
"I'm not holding it hostage, I'm just making sure none of you nosy boys take a look"
"You really don't want to know? My sister knew as soon as she could when she was pregnant with my niece" Carisi pipes in.
"Watch it Carisi, you are the only one who hasn't gotten on my nerves today"
"What did I do?" Fin pretends to look more offended than he actually is.
"Don't dawn to much on it Fin, it's just hormones" Liv pokes her head out of her office and we all take our attention to her.
"Rollins your back, good. I need you and Fin to go and ask around the park to see if there were any witnesses"
"Is this about the rape in the park?"
"Yeah"
"Okay, right on it. But would it be okay if I took Carisi?"
"Yeah, sure" She points at Carisi
"You are coming with me" He gets out of his chair and starts to follow her, she stops at her desk and grabs the envelope "This is coming with me, so you two don't get any ideas" she directs this at both of us.
"Is she really this weird about this?"
"It's just her way of trying not to worry so much"
"What do you think it is?"
"Well honestly from how worried she has been about it being a girl I could see it being a girl"
"Maybe all that crazy is coming from the baby" I let myself laugh while Amanda isn't around, knowing she would kill me if she knew I laughed.
"Did you find out when it was your son?"
"No, we waited until he was born but I always kind of hand a feeling about it"
"I just hope she won't make me wait until it's the baby's due date" I sit down at my desk and try to focus on my work but my mind keeps filling with the possibilities of what could be written in that envelope.
I sit at my desk and wait for Amanda to return, the only negative to living with someone you work with is that you drive home with them, meaning when they are late you are also late getting home. I can hear Amanda's bickering from the elevator, poor Carisi. They both walk over to their desks and start to collect their things, that envelope is still clutched in her hand. Carisi says goodbye and leaves, I walk over to Amanda and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "What happened?"
"Nothing" I decide not to push it any further and let us walk out to our car in silence, it isn't until we get into the car when she starts sighing as if she is ready to burst with what she is holding in. I am looking at the road ahead when I ask her
"What is wrong?"
"Just something a woman at the park said to me"
"What?"
"We were asking people around the park if the saw anything when one of the woman I was asking questions said the way I was carrying made it definite that it was a girl"
"Oh"
"Yeah, she thinks just because she has her own kids that she knows, and when she asked me if I knew already she kind of apologized as if she had opened up this envelope and read me what it said, there is still a chance it could be a boy"
"I know, it's a 50/50 chance"
"It was just annoying and now I want to open this more than anything, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day"
"Why don't we open it then when we get home"
"Really?"
"Yeah, and I'll even start on painting the baby's room in celebration" She smiles at me. As I pull into the driveway I can feel the anticipation weighting down on me, I am about to find out if I'm having a boy or a girl. We walk into the house and into the bedroom, she sets the envelope down on the bed and we look back and forth between each other, trying to decide who is going to open it. "Do you want to open it?" I ask her, I mean she is the mother after all, she is carrying the baby.
"No, yo do it. I'm too nervous"
"Okay" I pick up the envelope and she holds her breath. I swear it is so quite we could hear the sound of the glue being torn from the paper. I finish opening and then pull the piece of paper out of it, the paper if folded in half and I unfold it to reveal what we are having.
"What is it?"
"It's a girl" Her face looks like she might cry, suddenly I feel really guilty about pushing her so much about this, now she isn't happy. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed so hard" I wrap my arms around her and wait for a response from her, any response at all.
"No it's okay, I'm glad we opened it"
"Are you okay?" I pull away from the embrace and see that she is crying.
"Yeah, I'm not upset"
"Then why are you crying?"
"I'm happy, I'm actually really happy about this. We are going to have a daughter" I kiss her and then pull her in for another hug.
"I don't want you to worry okay? She is half me so she can't possibly get all of your family's crazy"
"I hope not"
"I mean did Zara get any of Maria's crazy?"
"Thankfully no, I have to call her in the morning and tell her that it is confirmed that she is having a baby sister" I take her hand and lead her out of the room.
"Come on"
"Where are we going?"
"I told you, we are going to start to paint the room tonight"
"Really? Because I distinctly remember you saying that you would do it" She puts emphasis on the 'you' "And I'm tired"
"Okay, we can go to bed after we get it started, come on it will be fun. I just want to do one thing together"
"Fine" I lead her into the spare room that will now belong to our daughter, the walls are simply white and everything is cleared out, the only thing that remains is two cans of paint that sit alongside the wall. One is pink and the other is blue. We walk over to the pink one and I open it, Amanda grabs a roller and together we dip it in the pink paint.
"Ready?"
"Ready" Together we hold onto the handle and roll the first bit of paint onto the wall, the splash of color ignites the room from a dull empty room to the future that our daughter will have in this room. With that first roll of paint starts the first memory that this room will have, and soon many more will be created as our daughter grows up here.
Authors note-Quick thing for anyone who knows Amanda's baby was born and named on the show and the name was Jessie so I just thought I would add that in there, I just wanted to clear that up for anyone who might have though Jessie was just a random name.