Chapter Summary:
"Once a Turk, always a Turk is not just a cute motto—it's a pledge we live by."
When one spent their days and nights chasing after rebel factions, catching spies and turncoats, carrying out assassinations and generally being the shady shield for the most powerful corporation on the planet, while at the same time trying to avoid getting killed by loathsome executives in the aforementioned company, one tended to dance dangerously over the line between heartlessness and despair. Only someone in the same position would understand; only a fellow Turk would know what it felt like to crave the reassurance that your humanity had not disappeared along with that last bullet fired, that last detonation, that last lie filtered to the right people.
—
Notes:
My take on Turk psychology has been greatly influenced by LadyNightRunner. If you can, go read her stuff, it's awesome.
About this chapter... There's no way to cite Vincent/Tseng/Cissnei/Reno/Rude/Elena as a... pairing... so that's where Vincent Valentine/The Turks came from. The chapter was running horribly long so that's why there's no explicit sex scene. That, and I don't think I needed it. But I might tackle something of the sort for parallel stories, so keep an eye open for that if you're interested in that.
This is my favourite chapter so far. Just sayin'.
—
Vincent woke up to a dull ache deep within his bones. He always felt like a behemoth had run him over after allowing Galian or Chaos to take over his body but this time it was slightly worse. He supposed it had something to do with the fact that he'd had to transform more than once in a short amount of time, stressing his body beyond the limits it was used to. At least he wasn't conscious when Chaos released Galian from its metaphysical chains—Galian always hurt more than Chaos, given that his shape was so dissimilar to Vincent's human form.
He rolled to his side and didn't bother to hold back the pained moan the motion tore from his throat. He was alone, and—
No, you're not, Chaos said. Vim and Vigour are out in the living room. Reno's been here since they brought you back from the labs, and Rude joined him about an hour ago. I expect Tseng to be here soon, too.
Vim and Vigour was the collective nickname Chaos had for Reno and Rude; when they weren't together, Chaos referred to Reno as Blaze and Rude as Shade. He called Tseng Ninja Princeling on account of his being a close relative of Godo Kisaragi, the current ruler of Wutai, and the ninja bit was self-explanatory. Cissnei was Swan because the Costan name for the bird—cisne—closely resembled her name; and Elena was Baby Turk both because she was the latest addition to the team and the youngest of them all.
Chaos actually had nicknames for a lot of the people Vincent knew, and all of them were a bit silly. The gunman was glad no one but him knew about this.
Why are they here? Vincent asked.
You don't remember, then?
That was all the incentive Vincent needed to crawl out of the sleepy fog he hadn't bothered to shake off. He sat up on the edge of his bed and tried to remember the last part of his time at the labs earlier. The last thing he remembered was going into the examination room specially designed to contain Galian, then a rising feeling of panic that was quickly followed by deep sleep. After that there was nothing until he woke up a few minutes earlier.
Well, at least we know Gast finally found the right combination of suppressants and tranquillisers to keep you unaware of what happens when he's prodding at Galian.
Chaos…
Fine, Chaos groused. Sephiroth stopped by the labs unannounced while Gast was finishing up with Galian. I lost control for a few minutes but nothing tragic happened. But, well, Sephiroth got a look good at Galian and me, and I ended up threatening him if he didn't leave.
Vincent sighed and buried his face in his hands. To borrow Reno's evocative vernacular: Fuck. My. Life.
C'mon, it's not that bad. I'm sure I scared him enough for him to leave you be for a while. Isn't that what you wanted?
I don't even know anymore.
Thankfully, Chaos chose not to answer to that. Vincent stood and went to take a shower before changing into his training sweatpants and sweatshirt. He looked through his drawers for one of the surgical strength painkillers Gast had prescribed for him when he brought up the bone and joint pain caused by his transformations but couldn't find any. With an annoyed sigh, he held his hair in a hasty ponytail and plodded into the living room.
Rude was on the phone while Reno rummaged through the kitchen humming some weird techno tune that Vincent recognised from the radio. One of the few things he found he enjoyed after rejoining society was techno music. Chaos liked to poke fun at him because of it but, truth be told, he liked it, too.
Passing Rude by silently, Vincent went into the kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge. Reno didn't notice him until he closed the door. The redhead nearly jumped a mile, hitting his head against a cupboard. Vincent couldn't help but laugh, feeling some of his tension ease away.
Laughter truly is the best medicine, Chaos intoned.
Indeed. I still want some of those pills, though.
"How do you do that, Bossman?!" Reno demanded while rubbing the back of his head. There were tears in his eyes but he looked more offended than hurt.
"I suppose it's a mixture of whatever Hojo did to me plus your sloppy training. Rude didn't notice me passing him by in the living room, either."
"No, I didn't," Rude admitted.
There was a smirk on his face as he sat down at the bar, his ever-present sunglasses gone as they were wont to be during informal Turk meetings at Vincent's place. Too much time around explosives and blazing fires had done a number on Rude's eyes and the sunglasses were a necessity more than a fashion statement. However, since Vincent was still photosensitive to a degree, the lights in his apartment were mellower than anywhere else, allowing Rude to do without his shades.
"Tseng is on his way, Vale. Cissnei and Elena, too."
There was an old Turk tradition of giving affectionate pet names to one's siblings in arms. Vincent was not one to let traditions die, so when he took over as Head Turk, he gathered his five companions and chose nicknames for each and allowed them to choose what they wanted to call him. These names, however, were only to be used outside of work and only with fellow Turks.
Tseng would stick to variations of Vincent's name and surname, like Vin and Val, sometimes adding -sama at the end in Wutain fashion. Vincent called him Corvus, the name of the crow constellation, not only because of his hair colour but because of the deathly sort of elegance the Wutain radiated. Following Wutain tradition from his mother's side, he sometimes added different honorifics to both Tseng's name and nickname, as well as with the other four Turks.
Reno stuck to Vince and Bossman even after hours. Unimaginative as it was, Reno was Red to Vincent, although it wasn't a reference only to his hair and the twin tattoos on his face, but his fiery spirit.
Rude favoured Vale although he would often use Boss, instead. To Vincent he was Tower, not only because of his height but because of his penchant for protecting everyone in the team.
Cissnei was a fan of Vincent's since before he returned to Shinra; after all, he was and remained the Turks' most notable marksman ever. She'd heard Veld refer to the gunman as 'deadeye' once, and she chose that nickname for their new boss. It had taken Vincent a while to settle on a pet name for her, but eventually he came up with Grimalkin. She was a lot like a cuddly cat and had a tendency to do her best to soothe and comfort others through physical contact such as hugs and hand-holding; she'd cuddle with anyone who allowed her to, as well.
Finally, Elena had a bit of an obsession with eyes and she fell in love with the colour of Vincent's, so she called him Vermeil. Since Elena was peppy and upbeat, eager to please and better herself, he called her Bushy-tail'. (Also, she was a notorious morning person, quite unlike anyone else on the team.)
Realising all five Turks were seemingly going to end up at his apartment, Vincent's eyebrows shot up in mild surprise. "A full house? Am I dying and no one told me?"
"You're obviously not, if you're already up after a full day at the labs," Rude said. "By the way, here." He reached into his jacket's pocket and handed Vincent a small bottle of the pills the gunman had been looking for. "Figured you'd want these."
The gunman took the bottle and smiled appreciatively. "You're a good man, Tower."
He uncapped the bottle and took two pills, which he drank with water from the bottle he got earlier. He then tossed the pill bottle to Reno. The redhead took one pill, cut it in half with one of Vincent's kitchen knives, and swallowed the smaller bit dry. He returned the remaining half to the bottle and tossed it back to Vincent.
"Good thing I have somethin' in my stomach already, otherwise I'd be out like a light in half an hour, yo," he said.
"I'll have to take another two before going to bed again," Vincent said with a shrug. He looked at the items Reno had put together on the counter. "Corn chowder?"
"Yep," Reno said. "Thought you'd still be asleep and was going to be a surprise for when you woke up but, well."
"Don't let me stop you."
Reno saluted and started preparing the ingredients he'd need. No one would know it by looking at his scrawny figure, but Reno was actually a pretty good cook. In fact, all Turks had at least basic cooking skills under their belts, in addition to medical training and an array of other abilities. Whenever the populace heard about the Turks, they immediately thought of the shadier aspects of their job, but there were elements of finesse and even artistry to their profession. Vincent hadn't been back for long when he noticed that those less known aspects had been neglected during his absence. He intended to correct this slight on his current subordinates so they would not incur in it when they were authorised to hire more personnel.
He finished his bottle of water and helped Reno with the vegetables. Soon Rude joined them and they fell into a comfortable silence interspersed with requests to pass this or that ingredient or implement. They accidentally knocked things off the counter but someone's reflexes always kicked in time to keep the clumsy items from falling to the floor. Reno had both Vincent and Rude try things for salt and other condiments, sometimes from spoons and sometimes from his fingers. There was no hesitation from either men to lick or suck food from the lithe man's fingers, no sexual innuendos or comments made. Just quiet murmurs of 'more salt' or 'easy on the hot sauce, Red', followed by Reno's approving hums or mischievous giggles.
Tseng arrived about half an hour into the cooking session with a few of bottles of wine, two six-packs of dark ale, four six-packs of lager, iced tea from Leviathan's Scales, a couple of cartons of cigarettes, and assorted snacks—everything they'd need to hole themselves in Vincent's apartment for several hours until one or several of them passed out on the living room floor (except for the desserts—Elena was in charge of those). It was a rare occurrence but one Vincent had never discouraged them from. Turks needed time to bond, craved the easy companionship that they could only ever truly get with their own.
"Where's everyone?" Tseng called from the hallway.
"Kitchen, yo!"
"Be there in a minute," the Wutain replied.
After leaving his haul in the living room, he went into the kitchen and smiled at his companions.
"Need an extra pair of hands?"
Vincent turned around and pushed hair out of his face with his forearm. "Not sure there's enough space for that, Tseng-san."
"Oh, but you could start hollowing out the peasant breads, yo. They're in the bar over there."
"Peasant bread?" Rude asked.
"That's how chowders are usually eaten," Vincent informed him. "You take a peasant bread, cut the top and hollow it out, and then serve the chowder inside. Edible crockery."
"That's genius," Tseng said. He grabbed a serrated knife and a cutting board and set to work after Reno showed him how thick he wanted the walls of the bread to be.
"Yeah, but most restaurants are too cheap to spring for individual bread pieces, yo," Reno lamented. "So they serve it in bowls and then hand out cheap breadsticks to go with it."
"I think this will be the first time I'll eat proper corn chowder since before I first joined the Turks," Vincent commented.
"Really?" Reno's eyes opened so wide it was comical. "Shit, man, that's a long time. I hope I don't screw it up, yo."
"No way you can, Red," Vincent said, letting the nickname slip from his mouth easily but full of meaning.
Tseng and Rude snickered at the way Reno's pale skin blushed, matching his moniker perfectly. The redhead simply mumbled something that sounded like a thank-you and focused all of his attention on the food.
Soon all that was left to do was wait for the chowder to finish cooking and preparing a simple salad. Rude took care of the salad while Vincent decided to make a cheese dip with which to eat the crumbs. He sat next to Tseng as he worked and took the opportunity to ask his second in command the reason behind their impromptu get-together.
"You gave me a bit of a scare earlier, Vin," Tseng said. "I don't know how much you remember, if anything—"
"Nothing after Chaos took over before letting Galian out for the tests."
"Well, damn," Tseng said, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. "Want me to tell you now or should we wait until everyone's here?"
Vincent didn't say anything about Tseng's assumption that he would be explaining anything to them because the Wutain was right, he would. Instead he just nodded and said it'd be best if they waited.
Cissnei and Elena arrived almost an hour later. To make up for their tardiness, even though there hadn't been an official arrival time, they turned up loaded with pastries, candies, three cartons of ice cream, and assorted chocolates, including all of Vincent's favourites.
It had come as a shock for all of them to find that their new leader had a sweet tooth—he certainly didn't look the part of a sugar-addicted fiend—but they were all quick to indulge him just like they indulged everyone in their team/family.
Tseng favoured a particular brand of red wine that was only made in the vineyards south of Mideel, making it a great deal more expensive than any other brand readily available in Midgar. Reno once forgot to order the customary bimonthly crate, meaning Tseng ran out of wine for his birthday. This resulted in Reno and Rude having to hop on a helicopter on a last-minute errand to buy the stuff directly from Mideel. Needless to say, the mistake hadn't been repeated.
Rude was partial to dark beers, so whenever someone had time to during missions, they would get him a few bottles of any and all dark brews they could find. So far, his favourite was the Black Chocobo label from Gold Saucer. Unlike Tseng, he could do with any other brand in a pinch as long as it didn't come from Junon. Cissnei had once brought him a Sister Ray from there and the hungover it caused him had been epic.
Reno chain-smoked and got cranky when he couldn't find a cancer stick to shove into his mouth, so almost every single Turk carried at least a pack of cigarettes to placate him when his supply ran out. He wasn't particularly picky about brands, but if he could choose he would prefer to smoke Ifrit's Fire, a brand that was thankfully produced in Midgar.
Cissnei ate ice cream year round, even during sub-zero temperatures, which explained why she had come up with a special container so people could bring her ice cream from Costa del Sol whenever they were sent to the oceanside town. Like Reno and Rude, she didn't mind where the ice cream came from but she claimed that Costa's was the best. Her favourite flavour was Sea Salt.
Lastly, Elena shared Vincent's passion for sweets, allowing her to bond immediately with him even if their personalities could hardly be more different. Although they couldn't agree on which brand of soft caramel was best—Elena preferred Icicle Inn's Snow Drops while Vincent had always been fond of Gongaga's Tickled Pink—both of them had a particularly weak spot for any and all kinds of chocolate. Vincent's favourite treat were fruit-filled truffles—strawberry filling was the best if you wanted him to allow for extra downtime or anything particularly shady—; Elena was addicted to caramel-filled squares of dark chocolate.
No one but Rufus Shinra and the Head of the Accounting Department knew it, but the Turks had managed to dedicate a considerable amount of their budget to afford and satisfy their quirks. They got away with it by ensuring Rufus never ran out of the rare and expensive mint liqueur he favoured and providing the Chief Accountant with more Gold Saucer cigars than he could smoke on his own. Tseng suspected he used them to bribe other executives but neither he nor Vincent—or Veld, in his time—cared enough to look into it.
Speaking of the former Head Turk, Veld would do anything to get his hands on anything Loveless-related. He had several editions of the play, plus any and all bits of merchandise he or the other Turks could find. Rumour had it that Commander Rhapsodos once took a look at Veld's collection and tried to buy it from him. Veld's negative caused a tantrum that still made everyone who witnessed it cringe.
Once everyone arrived, they decided to eat in the living room, which meant Reno and Rude made quick trips to their apartments to bring their coffee tables. In the meantime, Tseng and Vincent moved the furniture around to allow them all enough room to sit on the floor without being cramped. Once the three coffee tables were arranged in a triangular disposition, Reno and Elena poured corn chowder on six peasant breads and took them to the living room along with the salad. Tseng drank his wine, Reno and Cissnei drank the lager, Rude drank the dark beer, and Elena and Vincent drank iced tea.
It was an unspoken rule of their off-the-clock gatherings not to talk shop. True to tradition, all six of them focused on topics not related to work, like where did Reno learn to make corn chowder and would he be willing to cook for Cissnei's birthday next year. The subject of birthdays quickly became the main topic, jumping from one member to the next until it was inevitably Vincent's turn.
One of the few things Vincent had been reluctant to share with the Turks was his birthdate. He rejoined their ranks on November and no one thought of asking about his birthdate until the following year. The Turks were secretive about their personal lives, and at least half of the team was uncertain about their date of birth on account of being orphans, so it wasn't exactly strange for them to be unconcerned with their new boss's birthdate. However, Reno thought it important to celebrate Vincent's first year with the group and the matter of his birthday came up then. True to his taciturn nature, the gunman refused to answer. Reno would've insisted but Tseng stopped him. The Wutain took the redhead aside to explain to him that Vincent might not be too keen on celebrating a birthday after everything Hojo and Lucrecia had put him through, so Reno dropped the subject—for the time being.
Reno started a campaign to obtain the information he wanted. It would have taken him less than an hour to hack into the system to gain access to Vincent's original Turks records but Turk code prevented him from doing so. Instead, he did everything he could to get into Vincent's good graces—from little bribes in the form of chocolate and other sweets, to perfectly executed missions and reports delivered timely, he tried it all. He even wore his uniform properly once but Vincent ordered him to stop fooling around and just go back to his disheveled self.
In the end, Reno got his information in an entirely unplanned manner.
Vincent was forced to go on a field mission with the redheaded Turk the summer after his first year back with the Turks. They were to capture a runaway specimen from one of Hojo's old labs near Cosmo Canyon and Vincent was the best tracker of them all; that, along with Reno's speed, was sure to bring the mission to a quick and clean success. However, the specimen proved to be far too savage to capture so Vincent decided to eliminate it in order to prevent it from running amok in a populated area. In order to do so, he had to transform into Galian.
The creature was quickly dealt with but Galian hadn't been out in so long that it refused to obey Vincent's commands to stand down. Chaos was forced to intervene and, although he quickly subdued the beast, the toll on Vincent's body was too great and the gunman collapsed.
To make matters worse, some poachers that had been trying to capture the escaped specimen caught sight of Galian and Chaos and tried to attack Vincent and Reno when the gunman returned to normal. Reno had no choice but to take the three men on his own, all the while keeping himself between them and Vincent to protect the older man. He emerged victorious without killing the poachers and then carried Vincent to Cosmo Canyon so he could rest.
When he woke up the following day, Vincent was rather distressed about the troubles he caused to his companion. Reno jokingly said that all would be forgiven if Vincent just told him what his birthdate was. Surprisingly, the gunman didn't hesitate to inform him that it was the 13th of October, but he did threaten Reno with bodily harm if the information ever left their department. Reno swore not to tell anyone outside the Turks and began planning a birthday party for Vincent. It had been a lot like their current reunion, the only difference being that Veld had left his cozy house in Costa del Sol to join them and Reno hadn't cooked.
"So, Bossman," Reno drawled as he cleared the tables, "what're your plans for your birthday this year?"
Vincent was helping Elena and Cissnei distribute the snacks and sweets around the tables when Reno asked and his first reaction was to snort.
"None whatsoever," he said. He settled on the floor again with a bag of blueberry filled truffles and a glass of non-alcoholic red wine from his pantry.
"Leavin' it all up to me again, yo?"
"Sit down and let me tell you kids what's going on with my life these days. Then you'll understand why my birthday is the least of my concerns this year. It might break our rule about not talking about work, but I'm afraid it can't be helped."
He explained to them everything related to Galian's mating season and his attraction to Sephiroth. He told them of the dinner he shared with the General the night before and he did his best to convey his thoughts and feelings about the situation in a way that would make the most sense possible. He apologised about disappearing to Gast's office without telling them what was going on and he told them of the tests that were done on him and the other two. When he reached the part of the story where his memories ended, he turned to Tseng.
"Chaos tells me that you might better fill that gap, Tseng. Before you do, though, he wishes me to thank you. You remained calm and corrected Sephiroth when he referred to Galian and Chaos as a thing. He feels very grateful and proud, as do I."
Tseng shrugged. "There's no need to thank me but you're both welcome. It never crossed my mind that he'd never seen either of them before."
"Soldier clearance on my files is rather low compared to what you have access to," Vincent explained.
"I see. Well, as for what happened… I went to Gast's office to check up on you in case you needed help getting back to your apartment after the tests."
"I'm guessing you called ahead when you and possibly some of the others worried about my prolonged absence," Vincent said with a knowing smirk.
"Yes. I'm sorry if it was insolence on our part, but—"
"Corvus, don't. You know how I feel about that."
"Right. Well, I was at the office when Galian went out of control according to Gast. I rushed in and Sephiroth followed, even though Gast didn't want him to. It took Chaos some minutes to sort things out and, in that time, Galian lunged at Sephiroth. Chaos managed to regain control of your body then and forced Sephiroth out of the room. Gast and I got you dressed and I called Reno and Rude to help me get you here while Gast sorted out the injured orderlies. He said he'd prioritise your test results and that he would know something within forty-eight hours. He also asked me to make sure you didn't go back to work right away and said he'd square things with Rufus and Lazard regarding the summit given that you can't be near Sephiroth without Galian going ballistic."
"I suppose I'm on extended and indefinite medical leave."
"Yes. Also, Gast had Sephiroth move back in with his family so you wouldn't run into each other in the building by accident."
Vincent nodded as he munched on a truffle, strawberry-filled this time.
Having Sephiroth living with his family made things a bit easier but it wasn't by any means an ideal solution. Sephiroth's work was mostly confined to Shinra HQ as was Vincent's. Sure, he'd have to stay in his room for who knew how long but he'd have to come out eventually. He couldn't hide behind a medical leave for long, either, not without attracting Heidegger and Scarlet's attention.
"We'll take care of everything so that Gya-ha-ha and Kya-ha-ha can't touch us, Vermeil."
"Rufus is sure to have our backs, too, Vince."
"Professor Faremis will find a way to stabilise Galian's impulses, Vale. We just need to be patient."
"Even if he can't, we'll find a way around all of this, Deadeye."
"So stop looking so worried, Vin-sama. We've got you covered."
As do I, Chaos chimed in. Chin up, Host.
Vincent couldn't help but smile.
A few minutes passed in silence until Reno deemed it necessary to address the Adamantoise in the room.
"So, Galian's got the hots for Sephiroth? What's that all about, Vince?"
Rude and Cissnei burst out laughing while Tseng sighed and shook his head and Elena threw popcorn at the redhead.
"Why are you always so crass, Ren?"
Reno caught the popcorn in his mouth and swallowed before answering. "How'd you put it then, Bumblebee?"
"I wouldn't put it any way."
"Oh, c'mon! You can't tell me you're not at least a little bit curious, yo."
"You're such a flibbertigibbet, Red," Rude said.
"A what?" Reno spluttered. "How old are ya? A hundred, yo?"
"At least," Vincent cut in. "That was old before I joined the Turks."
"Hey!" Rude protested.
That got everyone laughing and gave Vincent time to figure out how to answer Reno's question.
I suppose this is as good a time as any to let you know I think I have a pretty good idea of what's going on now, Chaos said.
And?
Vincent went really quiet all of a sudden. When the others noticed, they looked at their boss and saw his eyes flicker from red to gold a few times. They knew from experience that this meant Vincent was having a conversation with Chaos so they stopped teasing each other and waited for him to speak.
Tseng was the first to break the silence when Vincent's eyes settled back to warm crimson.
"What did Chaos say, Vincent-sama?"
"Galian is reacting to Jenova. Chaos doesn't know how or why, but that's what's happening."
"Well, fuck," Reno said.
"That about sums it up," Cissnei added.
"And to think I was going to follow Chaos's advice and try to become friends with Sephiroth," Vincent mused with a scornful smile.
"It could still work, Vincent," Elena said.
Vincent shook his head slowly. "I don't know about that, Lena. I've a feeling things aren't as simple as placating Galian's instincts. They never are when Hojo and his sick mind are involved."
"It's too bad you can't even talk on the phone, yo. I mean, Sephiroth must think you really don't like 'im or somethin'."
"I tried to make it clear that's not the case, but…" He frowned. "Do you think he might think so anyway?"
"Perhaps," Rude said. "He's the only person at Shinra that counts that you haven't directly approached, for work or otherwise. Genesis, Kunsel, Cloud, and even Angeal have helped us."
"But he's sent him a birthday present the last couple of years," Elena said.
"Not really," Vincent corrected.
The blonde Turk blinked in confusion. "What do you mean? I wrapped that book on ancient swords two years ago and the incense kit last year."
"And I delivered them both times," Tseng added.
"But none of you checked the cards. I signed them for the entire department."
A five-voice chorus erupted to question why the gunman had done that.
"I…" He sighed heavily. "I was a little afraid he wouldn't appreciate receiving a present from me."
None of his colleagues could really fault him for that so everyone went quiet for a moment.
"You know you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but…" Tseng started cautiously.
"How do you feel about Sephiroth, yo?"
"And we don't mean about his biological parents and what they did to both of you," Cissnei added.
"We know it's hard, but if you can forget about that, even for a moment, and focus just on Sephiroth…" Elena continued.
"You know we won't judge, Vale."
Gaia, these children can read you like a book.
Ignoring Chaos's commentary, Vincent closed his eyes and mulled the question over. If he was honest with himself, he had never thought of Sephiroth as anything other than Lucrecia's hapless son, and he rarely thought of himself as anything other than a failed watchdog. He had failed the Turks and Shinra but, more importantly, he had failed Sephiroth. His entire existence while being locked up in the coffin had revolved around his feelings of inadequacy.
Some of his self-loathing had disappeared upon taking the job of Head Turk—being amongst the few people he could count as family gave his life a renewed sense of purpose. Knowing that Sephiroth was alive and had grown up to be as normal as the experiments performed on him allowed should have eased the rest of his burdens but it hadn't. The guilt was still there, the sense that he had failed the young man and he would never be able to make it up to him.
But if he did as the Turks asked him to, if he ignored the guilt and the sense of failure and just concentrated on Sephiroth and what the man awakened in him…
"He's… breathtaking. I saw him training by himself once. I felt like crying... It's not just that he's physically attractive, which he is—the man is gorgeous. But there's also this… thing about him, a sort of captivating presence that has little to do with his appearance or his voice. He's a leader, yes, and he has a strong will, strong enough to have overcome his biological handicaps and to keep Jenova at bay. That alone is impressive, but…"
He sighed and buried his face in his hands. He had never been any good at voicing his feelings appropriately and he hadn't gotten better at it over time. He felt that he was only making a fool of himself by trying.
Cissnei climbed over Reno to get to Vincent's side and rubbed the gunman's left arm soothingly. Elena was already next to Vincent and she held on to his right arm, resting her head on his shoulder. Reno and Rude dragged the tables away while Tseng sat on the couch behind Vincent and massaged his shoulders. Rude squeezed himself between Vincent and the couch, allowing enough room for Tseng to continue his massage while the taller man stroked Vincent's hair. Finally, Reno nestled himself between Vincent's legs, taking the gunman's arms and wrapping them around his waist while he rested his head against the other man's chest.
Vincent half-sighed and half-laughed, ruffling Reno's fiery red hair before kissing the lithe Turk's forehead. He then kissed Cissnei and Elena on the cheek before grabbing Rude and Tseng's hands and kissing their knuckles. He allowed himself a few minutes to relish the sense of security and comfort the five people around him provided while trying to get his feelings and thoughts in order.
"I want him to be safe," he said after a stretch. "I feel I owe him that much, to be sure he's safe and happy. There's a part of me that wishes nothing more than to actually be at his side to make sure he never has to suffer again at anyone's hands, but…"
He looked at his hands on Reno's lap and flexed them a few times. There were traces of chocolate and fruit juice in them, the contrast between the rich colours of his favourite treats and his alabaster skin stark. Although invisible, he could always see all the blood his hands had spilled, whether directly, through the barrel of a gun, or at Galian and Chaos's hands. His fellow Turks would probably see the same in their own hands as well as in the hands of their partners. He had no delusions that Sephiroth's hands were clean, not when he was Shinra's prized General, but the quantity and quality of the blood on each of their hands was much too different.
Reno ran his bony fingers along Vincent's palms, tracing their folds and scars slowly. Vincent sighed softly at the soft and intimate contact, realising absently that only these five people surrounding him had ever touched him with such confidence and familiarity; not even his previous Turk partners had been this attached and devoted to each other. He idly wondered if he would ever allow anyone else such closeness.
"I think I know what you're thinking, Vince," Reno said, "and you shouldn't."
Rude rested his chin on Vincent's shoulder and sneaked a long arm around Vincent and Reno, pressing the redhead closer to Vincent and the gunman closer to him. When he spoke, Vincent could feel the other man's breath tickling his neck.
"If having your hands clean of blood is a prerequisite to allow yourself to know someone better, we would all be hermits, Vale."
Elena curled up next to Vincent, squeezing his arm and tangling her right leg with the gunman's. Reno giggled as he poked at the blonde's thigh and got a slap to the wrist from the gunman for his trouble. The redhead pouted while Elena stuck her tongue out at him before addressing Vincent.
"You said you were afraid Sephiroth wouldn't appreciate a present from you, but he wants to be friends with you. Last night he pretty much told you that he doesn't care about what happened between you and his biological parents. If he's willing to put all that aside and give you a chance, shouldn't you try to do the same?"
"And don't even start with all that nonsense about how you failed him and how you can't protect anyone," Cissnei said. She was leaning against Vincent in a position that nearly mirrored Elena's on the other side. "You protect us every single day from Heidegger and Scarlet, not to mention from all the dangers outside Shinra."
Tseng caressed the back of Vincent's neck, applying pressure to the tense muscle beneath his fingertips.
"Sephiroth has a hard time understanding his own feelings," the Wutain said, "so he's always very careful about approaching other people. If he's decided that he wants to get to know you better it means he's weighed all the pros and cons and found that you are worth the effort." A small smile made its way to his lips and even into his voice. "If he'd asked any of us, we would've vouched for you ten times over."
Vincent took a deep breath and relaxed against Rude.
"I told him a part of me thinks and even wishes he could've been my son. And it's true, I spent a lot of time dwelling on what-ifs. What if I'd met Lucrecia sooner, what if she hadn't met my father and didn't feel so responsible for his death that she could barely stand my attentions. What if I had killed Hojo when I had the chance. What if I could have been there for Sephiroth while he was growing up."
"You're here now, Vale. You can be here for him now."
"He wants you to, yo."
"That just brings a brand new cluster of what-ifs, all far more daunting than the old ones."
"Like what?" Cissnei asked.
"What if he's reacting to whatever's happening to me. What if his is just a fleeting fancy and by the time he realises it I'm too invested."
What if you grow to love him not as your hypothetical son but as your lover. And what if he doesn't feel the same. Can you live with a broken heart?
"… I don't know."
"What's that?"
Vincent blinked and looked questioningly into Rude's eyes.
"You went quiet for a moment and then all you said was 'I don't know'."
"Oh. Sorry. I was answering to something Chaos said. I must've been distracted and answered out loud."
"What did he say, then?"
Vincent sighed, nuzzling Rude's neck and taking in the other man's scent, a mixture of cordite and ozone that wouldn't leave the other Turk's skin no matter how much he tried to get rid of it.
"He voiced my greatest fears. What if I end up falling in love with Sephiroth and he doesn't feel the same about me. I don't know meant I don't know if I could stand it. Opening up to someone like that only to be rejected yet again… It could potentially end me. When Lucrecia turned me down the only reason I didn't crumble down was Sephiroth." A deep sigh interrupted his train of thought. "I would still have all of you, I know, but I think that, the part of me capable of falling in love with another would wither and die.
"There is, of course, a more crucial issue here. A part of me doesn't want to fall in love with him."
"Why's that?"
Vincent went very still and very quiet. Before anyone else could say anything, Tseng stood up and walked around the snug pile of bodies. He nudged Reno with his foot and the redhead scooted over to Elena's side, pulling her back to his chest and holding on to her as a child to a teddy bear. Cissnei moved to the couch after Rude did the same and sat on his lap. This left Vincent on the floor with his legs spread in a V and Tseng knelt in that space, his knees barely touching Vincent's thighs.
The Wutain looked into his leader's crimson eyes and knew what the problem was. He reached forward, wrapping his arms around Vincent's shoulders and pulling him into a loose embrace, allowing the older man to decide how much contact he wanted, how much comfort.
"You can't taint someone by just loving them. Not when all you've ever wanted is for that person to be happy. Not when you sacrificed everything to try to protect him. When Cloud found you, you could've refused to come back to Midgar but you didn't. You came back to make sure he was safe, that he'd grown up to be a good man."
"But I failed him," Vincent protested. He wrapped his arms around Tseng, his fingers clutching desperately at the Wutain's shirt as he buried his face in the other man's neck. "My infatuation with his mother blinded me to what she was trying to do with herself and him. I hesitated and was unable to kill the bastard that wrecked my body and played god with his life before he could harm us. He says he doesn't care but how can he not? How can he even stand to be in the same building as I, let alone want to be friends? And knowing all of that, here I am, entertaining the idea of falling in love with him and wondering if he could ever feel the same about me! What kind of monster have I become?"
"You are not a monster, itoshii. Don't you ever let any of us hear you say that again."
A four-voice chorus agreed with Tseng, Reno adding a few threats for good measure.
"As for the rest… I can't tell you what Sephiroth's thinking or feeling so I can't give you any guarantees. But if you do end up falling in love with him, it will be all you. Hojo, Galian, Chaos… none of them will have anything to do with it. It will be Vincent Valentine's heart and nothing else. And whether or not Sephiroth falls in love with you, it will be all him and just him—not Jenova or anything else Hojo and Lucrecia did to him.
"You're a good man, Vincent. All five of us know just how lucky anyone would be to have you as their lover. If Sephiroth doesn't want that then it'll be his loss. And whatever happens between you two, we'll be here. You're our family, Vincent, and all we want is for you to be happy."
The other four gathered around Vincent and Tseng, wrapping their arms around them and kissing Vincent's face, neck, and arms.
"We'll be with you every step of the way, Vermeil."
"Stop thinking you're not good enough to be around him, yo."
"Give him a chance and let things progress naturally," Rude said.
"Don't give up without a fight," Cissnei added.
"I can be your personal messenger while we wait for Gast to figure out a way to control Galian's impulses," Tseng offered. "Just take it slow and don't let your past get in the way. Sephiroth obviously isn't."
Once again, Vincent couldn't hold back the smile that curved his lips. It didn't last long, though, as it was interrupted by a yawn. Looking at the clock on the wall, he realised it was past one in the morning.
"You're all staying here," he said.
"Vincent-sama—"
"I may be on medical leave, Corvus, but I'm still the boss of all of you. If you think you're leaving me alone after all that's going on, you better get a psych eval from Gast."
"Oooh, domineering Vincent is such a turn-on," Reno purred, nuzzling Vincent's neck.
"Don't tempt me, Red."
Reno grinned and planted a kiss on Vincent's jawline, catching some skin between his lips and running the tip of his tongue over it. The deep rumble this earned him encouraged him to give the same treatment to the dark-haired man's neck. Soon he could feel Vincent's hands on his hips, and he didn't need to open his eyes to know Elena and Cissnei were attacking Vincent from each side while Rude put his lips to good use on their boss's ears. He also felt Tseng getting up to make sure the door was locked before returning to the pile of bodies to try to get a piece of Vincent.
It wouldn't be the first time the six of them ended in a 'love-in', as Vincent once called their meetings-turned-orgies. The first time had been nearly two years ago during the celebration of Vincent's first year with the Turks. Reno and the other four were used to sleeping with each other to relieve tension or just to have fun, and all of them found their new leader attractive. They had refrained from making any advances before because they knew Vincent was still going through some biological adjustments after being in a coffin for thirty years and they didn't want to push him into anything he wasn't ready for. However, when Reno made his move and kissed Vincent full on the lips, he found himself caught between the couch and the gunman's deceptively strong body. From then on, everything was a blur until he woke up the next afternoon, naked and pressed between Vincent and Rude with Tseng, Cissnei, and Elena close by, all of them naked, too.
It was another Turks thing that no one outside the team would understand. But when one spent their days and nights chasing after rebel factions, catching spies and turncoats, carrying out assassinations and generally being the shady shield for the most powerful corporation on the planet, while at the same time trying to avoid getting killed by loathsome executives in the aforementioned company, one tended to dance dangerously over the line between heartlessness and despair. Only someone in the same position would understand; only a fellow Turk would know what it felt like to crave the reassurance that your humanity had not disappeared along with that last bullet fired, that last detonation, that last lie filtered to the right people.
In Vincent's case, he gave himself to the other Turks to remind himself that, in spite of the changes forced upon his body, in spite of Galian's rampaging hormones and the uncertainty that harbouring Chaos gave rise to, he was still basically human. That he could feel something other than pain, that he could give something other than misery.
He was dimly aware of the fact that Chaos disconnected from him, taking Galian's still sleeping presence with him. The gunman smiled around Elena's neck, thankful that the Weapon was allowing him this moment of privacy with his Turks. He didn't have much time to dwell on it, however, as he was soon too busy keeping track of whose hands were pulling his sweatshirt off and whose lips were attached to his ears, neck, mouth, and chest.
"Bedroom," he managed to breath in between someone's acidic kisses—Tseng's, more likely than not.
"Aye," came the five-voice chorus.
Noon came and Vincent woke up with Reno latched on to his right side, fiery-red locks tickling the gunman's nose. Elena was clinging to his left side, safely tucked under his arm. Vincent himself was half-laying on Rude, his head resting on the man's chest while his legs were over Tseng's waist. Cissnei was cuddled up to Tseng, one of her feet hooked around one of Vincent's legs. One of Rude's arms was draped over Vincent's chest, strong fingers curled up around his hip.
There was no way Vincent could get up without disturbing most, if not all, of his partners, so he decided to stay put a little longer. Someone else had different plans, however, as his home phone started ringing almost as soon as he closed his eyes again.
"'ma murder whoever's on the fucking line, yo."
Vincent chuckled and disentangled himself from the protesting bodies before throwing on his robe and padding over to his studio to take the call.
"Director Valentine speaking."
"Good afternoon, Vincent. How are you feeling?"
"Professor. I'm much better, thank you. Tseng told me about what happened in the exam room—my apologies."
"Glad to hear so. And don't worry about that—the orderlies are fine and it wasn't your fault. I should've told Toru to call Sephiroth and tell him not to stop by the office but I didn't think it was necessary."
Vincent sat on his swivel chair and closed his eyes. He really didn't want to talk about Sephiroth, not after the pleasant night he'd just had, but he really couldn't tell that to Gast. Instead, he slightly changed topics.
"All right, then. Tseng also said you expected to have results in forty-eight hours. Have you made any progress?"
"I have, yes. It's the only reason I'm at the office on a Sunday, really."
Vincent frowned and took a sideways glance at his wall calendar. It was, indeed, Sunday. That meant he could probably coax the others into staying with him for a few more hours. He really didn't feel like being alone at the time.
"I see. Given that it's a Sunday, can this wait until tomorrow?"
"I'm afraid not, Vincent. I'm sure this is not what you wanted to hear, but Hojo and Jenova are involved in what's happening to you."
Vincent sighed and brought a hand to his eyes.
"So Chaos wasn't far off, after all."
"What do you mean?"
"Last night Chaos told me that he was fairly certain that Galian's targeting Jenova, not Sephiroth. He doesn't know how or why, though."
"I see. Well, I think I may provide at least a partial explanation to those two questions."
"I'm sorry to ask this, but do you think you could come over to my apartment in, say, two hours to talk about this? I want the Turks to know."
"Certainly. It will give me some time to do a bit more research into one of my hypotheses."
"Thank you, Professor. See you soon."
He disconnected the call and set down the receiver gently. After sitting in near darkness for about five minutes, he stood up and went into the kitchen to make coffee and set the kettle to boil to make tea. Then he went into his bedroom to find all five of his subordinates asleep, cuddling together. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he stood against the doorframe and took a moment to take in the sight.
You should take a picture.
No need. Morning, by the way. I take it you listened to Gast's call?
Yep. He sounded excited, didn't he?
Yes. It's never a good sign, an excited scientist with our tissue samples.
Nope.
With a soft sigh, Vincent walked towards his bed and shook Elena awake first.
"Morn'n, Vince," she said after a luxurious stretch.
"Noon, Bushy-tail. Wake everyone up and then come help me make lunch, okay?"
"'Kay."
Leaving the other four to the mercy of Elena's relentless energy, Vincent took a quick shower. He had a feeling it would be a long day.