Finally I can uptade Chapter 3, Thank you laurabella2930 for editing.
You may notice that this One Shot is diffrent from the others. The idea just wouldn't let me go so I decided to run with it. After this shot my stories go back to normal. I apologize for not posting earlier, my BETA was super busy.
With that said, Happy reading..

Sylvie Brett Diary

Hi, my name is Sylvie and this is the story of how I went from almost getting married to being madly in love with another man in a new city. Don't worry, I'll spice it up a little so you won't fall asleep while reading this.

May, 10.2015

It all started on May 10, 2015. One week before the wedding. I was supposed to get my dress from the store. It was there because of some fitting issues I would rather not get into further here. Anyway, that got canceled at the last minute so I decided to visit my fiancée Harris in his office. I bought lunch from his favorite place and took a cab.

As soon as I arrived and got out of the cab, a big raindrop hit me forcefully on the head, I looked up to the sky, the dark clouds which hung heavily over the city seemed to empty all at once. The rain poured across the city in waterfall like waves, so I ran into the high glass building.

If I looked back on it now, I'd say it was a sign, a sign that something bad was going to happen.

You all can imagine what had happend next, because it is such a cliché. I walked into his office, and what was he doing? He was screwing the intern on his desk! The same desk he screwed me a few times when he first got the job. And before he even noticed me, or the food that I had dropped by now, I walked away and never looked back.

Chicago, May 30. 2015

The first time I layed eyes on Chicago, I was in love with it. Yes, it wasn't perfect but what is? I loved the people living here, most of them friendly and nice. I loved the kids playing on the streets, the crowded restaurants and the smell that lingered in the air when I was going inside to try out something new. It all felt so new and exciting, I felt new and excited.

I found an apartment, it wasn't in the best neighborhood and an old man kept peeing on my property, but at least I had found a home for myself. At first I have to admit, it was hard, the whole mess with Harris, then the new city and now all alone in this new big home, but I somehow did it.

Two weeks after that I got hired as a paramedic at Firehouse 51. I was glad that I could keep on doing the work I had done before and was good at. They welcomed me kindly and I soon noticed that they were a family and stood up for each other. My first friend I found there was Gabriela Dawson. My new boss and partner. She welcomed me even though she had lost her partner Leslie only a week before my first shift.

Everyone was so friendly and kind it made it easier for me to forget prior events.

June, 22. 2015

"He is staring at you again." Gabby teased changing into her work clothes next to her.

Turning my head, I could see Severide turning his head away from me, but I could tell that he felt caught.

"I am not looking for anything right now!" I hissed over my locker door to Gabby and continued on getting undressed.

"Maybe it's better you stay away from him, he has a reputation." She said quietly.

"That is exactly what I was going to do anyway." I responded in the same quiet tone that she used.

I was working at '51 for a few weeks now and I was totally happy. I had found a new family here in Chicago and I felt more at home than I have ever in my life.

I can't remember the exact time, and I also can't recall who gave me the info but what I can remember is the moment I walked through the door of the meeting room I was facing Harrison. My heart tightend in my chest and the air that was supposed to leave my lungs got stuck in my throat.

"What are you doing here?" My tone was ice cold, my hands on the sides of my body turned into fists, chaneling my anger.

"I came to tell you that I love you and that I want you back."

I couldn't belive what I was hearing. The fact that he had the nerve to show up here, at my new work amisdt my new family and say what he just said left me speechless. I know I should have acted and said something or just hit him straight to the face, but I couldn't.

The sirens pulled me out of my dizzy state and I turned on my heel without even a word or any interest.

"Aren't you saying something? You don't belong here, you belong with me." The sound of his voice sometwhere in the room made me turn around again.

"Go home. And never come back."

"When you walk out that door, it's over."

I shook my head and opened the door, yes I may have done it a bit teatherically but it was clear to him that I meant it.

I remember seing Gabby's questioning face as I walked in her direction with a big smile on my face.

"What's up? Who was that guy?"

"Nobody. let's go safe some lives... "

July, 04. 2015

I felt at home, I had found a second job and was working as a chef in a gourmet restaurant. Nobody knew about it though, not even Harris knew that I was an apprentice chef after school. I gave it up quickly after graduation because of the crazy working hours and I wanted to help people. Later on I hated cooking because mostly I felt like a servant for Harris.

Here in Chicago cooking felt different, I got the job right away, I couldn't tell why they took me out of all the better options they had but I wasn't asking. I just was grateful that I had found my long lost love of cooking.

The night was crazy and I was tired from the shift I had just finished hours before. The restaurant was crowded, the kitchen was busy like every night. A group of young people just entered the restaurant, I didn't see them, but I overheard two of the waitresses gossiping about them.

Curious I listend while grilling a piece of pork on the big grill.

"Very hot..." One of them said fanning herself.

"The black haired or the blonde one?" The other asked giggling.

"Both."

I felt myself smiling at there conversation and shook my head.

"Table fifteen is ready!" I shouted through the kitchen and placed the three plates on the counter for the waitress to take.

Hours later my shift was over, and I can remember falling asleep that night as soon as my head hit the soft pillow.

August, 04. 2015

Exactly one month later it happend.

I got arrested. Yes me, the most honest person I know, except for my mother maybe. If I look back on it now it was the best night of my life. But then, it was the most humiliating night in my life.

I had to work late at the restaurant again, it all was going well at first but then some of the staff had the stupid idea to take a drink after the restaurant was closed at two in the morning. I was too tired to say no so a few of us ended up drinking a few to many.

The weather wasn't good either, it had started to rain the moment she stepped outside. The sight wasn't good and it was too late to take the bus home so I just drove. Yes I knew it was reckless but still it was the better option when compared to walking and getting raped or killed. When I think about it now, I would do the same again.

So, half way home I heard the sirens. I came to a halt and how else could it be, they arrested me on the spot. I must have had very bad breath, because the moment I opened the window and smiled, yes smiled, at the officer who was ducking down a little to see me better, he ordered me to get out of the car and had my hands handcuffed to the back.

All explainations I tried to give were pointless, so I found myself in a cell with very bad smelling people. I doupted that I smelled better than them but you know, just so you get an idea of what I went through.

The cell was crowded and a woman in the right corner kept throwing up. The smell of puke hit my nostrills like a bad memory and almost had me throwing up too, hadn't there been two other woman who were talking about how lucky they were they got to this police station and not the small one a few miles away from here. In my still drunk state I hit myself on the forehead. This was where Gabby's brother worked. I remembered her mentioning it a few times. I stood up, steading myself on the bars shouting "I want my phone call."

"Gabby, glad I reached you, listen..." She interupted me with a sleepy voice. "What is going on Sylvie, it's the middle of the night."

"I got arrested." I made a little pause so the message could sink in. "I'm at the police station, the one where your brother works, you think you could ask him for a favor?" I asked in the sweetest voice I could manage in my still drunk state.

"Hang tight!" Was all she said before the call ended.

Same night, but a few hours later.

"Brett, Sylvie Brett?" I heard my name being called, at first I thought it was a dream but as someone kept saying it I lifted my head up and looked around. I found a man with brown hair looking at me couriously.

"That's me, I'm Sylvie." I slowly got up walking torwards the exit of the cell.

"You have some great friends." The good looking guy said.

"The best." I looked at him while we were walking out of that hell hole, I followed him through the station but kept my focus on my feet. I still felt a little dizzy and I had to make sure not to trip over my own feet.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we were about to exit the building. Wasn't I supposed to sign something? I wasn't sure what was going on at all.

"I'm driving you home." I stopped in my tracks and looked at him, my eyes must have shown my surprise because he spoke up again. "My sister asked me to get you out and get you home safely, she said you were good people so that is what I am doing."

"You are Gabby's brother?"

"Yes, I'm Antonio."

I said nothing just got into the car next to him where he had opened the door for me. Once he was sitting in the drivers seat, his raspy voice filled the inside of the car.

"Expected something else?"

"Something less hot I guess..." It slipped past my mouth before I could stop it. I pressed my hand over my mouth to stop myself from saying more when I saw him laughing. He was laughing! Oh god, how much more embarrassed could I be on only one single day.

"Please don't tell this to anyone!"

"That you think I'm hot?" He looked over and his eyes found mine. "Never!"

"Thanks, and for the record I meant that I got arrested and that you had to drive me home." I tried to stay serious and to my belief I was, but when I heard his laugher fill the air again I had to giggle myself.

This my lovely readers was the day I met Antonio Dawson for the first time, and by that time I didn't know that many more would follow...

August, 12. 2015

Eight day's later, my Shift at '51 had just began, when Gabby came to see me in the back of the ambulance where I was busy doing a quick inventory of the meds.

"Everything ok? You're here early." Her good mood and the good weather were pulling me with them as I answered lightly "Yep, I wanted to repay you for helping me out the other week, thought I'd help you with the inventory and with cleaning up the back of the ambulance so you wouldn't have to. I still feel guilty for pulling you out of bed in the middle of the night."

Gabby smiled wildely at me as if it was the most normal thing to do.

"Anything for a friend. You'd done the same for me." She said shrugging.

"Probably not, I know nobody in this City I could pull favors from." I said shaking my head laughing.

"You have me." She said simply and added "Now get back to work and do my job for me." She turned around to leave but looked over her shoulder after the few steps she already took and winked at me. I shook my head and continued counting the bandages in the medical bag.

"What was that about?" I heard Joe asking behind me.

I turned around to face him before I answered. "Nothing?!" Frack, that should have sounded more a fact that a question. He looked at me with one eyebrow raised but then decided to let it drop. "Tonight we're meeting up at Molly's, it's Cindy's birthday, and I was wondering if you'd wanna join as well."

"Sounds great."

"Ok then, I'll tell Hermann that you're coming too." He turned around and left. Before I could ask him what to bring for a present he was caught up in a new conversation with Otis.

When I entered the bar, it already was crowded. I walked up to the bar where Gabby already was sitting next to, oh god no, her brother. I could make out his broad shoulders under that black shirt that clung tightly to his upper body. The muscles flexed under his shirt when he lifted his arm to take a sip of his beer.

Great now I was staring like a creep. I forced myself to walk and came to a halt next to Gabby. The only thing I thought about was not to make a fool out of myself again. I made sure my eyes stayed on her while it took all my will and spoke up.

"Hey."

"Hey, look who finally arrived." She lifted a finger to order a beer for me. "You remember my brother?" She said smiling shepishly.

My eyes found his and when they linked, it was like we were the only two people in the room. 'Keep it together Brett' I told myself and tried to keep my smile easy.

"Hi, how could I forget!" Holy crap, not again..

Gabby looked at me questioningly but before she could say something I added maybe a little to quickly because Antonio was laughing silently next to his sister "I meant the arrest, getting arrested isn't something I could forget that easily."

I quickly took a sip of the beer that just had appeared in front of me and was glad when Matt walked up behind Gabby. I took a few more sips and was scanning the bar for people I knew and who possibly would give me a reason to disappear to.

I found Severide sitting at the other end of the bar, talking to a young brunette. They seemed to have fun, but what did I know, I wasn't the type to have a one night stand with, I was the boring girl with the boring life. Never ever had I had a one night stand. I always was the long term deal. Suddenly with the alcohol rushing through my veins, I thought of what it may would be like to have sex with a stranger somewhere in an alley or in an unfamiliar bed.

Quickly I got rid of my thoughts.

"Nice party." I heard Antonio say behind me.

"Really? with all you could have said, you're going with nice party?" I turned around to look at him when I noticed that Gabby and Matt had disappeared without saying a word.

"I guess I just did."

I took the empty seat next to him and put my clutch onto the counter.

"Want another one?" I pointed to his beer.

"No thanks, I have to be sober so I can drive you home again." I stilled midair. Putting the bottle back to the counter again I turned my head slowly to look at him. After a minute or maybe less, I really can't remember, of looking at each other, I finally found my voice again.

"What makes you think I need a driver?"

"Because this is already your third beer." He shrugged his shoulders and ordered a coke for himself.

"Ok, let's say I need someone to take me home, what makes you so sure I'll let you drive me home?"

"Because you think I'm hot!" He smirked and the small wrinkles around his eyes showed.

"I was drunk when I said that." I tried to defend myself.

"Drunk people alway say what they really think."

"You won't give me an out, will you?"

"Nope."

"Ok then, let me drink another one."

We sat in silence for a while, the awkward situation which had surrounded us was mostly gone. I enjoyed my new beer and at some point even got to tell my birthday wishes to Cindy. The bar was so full that I almost didn't get a chance to talk to her. After not even a minute of talking she got pulled away and I was standing in the middle of the bar alone again. I made my way back and was surprised by the fact that my seat had been taken.

I walked up behind Antonio and brushed my fingers over his left shoulder blade, I could feel him stiften but then relax into my touch as he saw who it was who had touched him. I quickly removed my hand from his body and pressed myself between the now taken seat and his bar stool.

"Can we leave?" I asked him quietly leaning in a little so he would hear me. My lip brushed his ear and I was so surprised of my action that I pulled back just as quickly and looked at him with big eyes.

His look was wild and dark for a second before he cought himself "Sure, lead the way."

I pressed my body through the crowd and stepped into the warm summer night. The night was clear but I couldn't see the stars because of the many city lights that surrounded us.

"I miss the stars." Was the last thing I said before I hopped into Antonio's car.

August, 15. 2015

The weekend had arrived rather quickly and I was looking forward to that new book I bought myself a few weeks ago because I had read somewhere that it was popular. I actually planned to start reading it a lot sooner, but with the whole chaos that still was lingering over my head like a dark cloud, I hadn't found the time yet.

I managed to clean my apartment from head to toe and was fresh out of the shower when I had the idea of starting to read. I had nothing planned anyway and that seemed like a good thing to do. Something for myself, something I knew I'd enjoy.

I put on my most confortable clothes and layed down on the couch. A hot tea next to me on my old new wooden living room table and the heavy book in my hands.

I was about twenty-six pages in, when my mobile phone started ringing on the living room table next to me. I rolled my eyes because I somehow knew who it would be, and as I looked on the screen, it told me I wasn't wrong.

"Hello." I said in my sweatest voice but internally slapped myself for picking up the call at all.

"Hi Sylvie" There was a little pause in the line before her boss continued "I know it's your free day in between shifts, but we're short staffed, could you come in? ... Only for a few hours until most of the crowd has passed through?"

"Yes of course, I can be there in thirty." I said already rolling myself of the couch.

"You're a live safer." Walter said before cutting the line.

Thirty-five minutes later I arrived at the restaurant. Walter smiled my way when he saw me coming in but the team was already to busy to exchange hello's. I got to work after changing my clothes in the locker room in the basement.

I think it was already past ten at night as the restaurant started to quiet down a little, I took a small break and went out of the kitchen to grab something to drink at the bar when I heard my name being called from a table somewhere near me.

"Yeah?" I turned around expecting it to be one of the waiters who needed me to pass something to the kitchen, but as my eyes roamed through the crowd, I noticed a table near the front door where Antonio Dawson was sitting, with I assumed, a few of his colleagues from work.

I silently waved what got me a smile. Hell was that man in good shape! I noticed where my thoughts were taking me, so I quickly turned around, grabbing my glass of coke in the process and went back to the kitchen as fast as I could go, with the glass in my hand. Yeah, I remember that moment like it was yesterday. In fact all the memories he was in, I remember like it all just happend. It is strange how fast time passes by without you even knowing.

An hour after that, Walter sent me home. I was glad, because by that time, I was so tired that I was sure I'd fall asleep right away. I was halfway through the door when Walter called me back in. I exhaled loudly, walking backwards two steps before turning around again. "What is it Walter? I'm tired, I need the sleep, my shift starts at seven tomorrow morning!"

"Someone's asking for you." He shouted through the kitchen.

"Who?" I shouted back.

"How should I know! Go see for yourself."

I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way back.

"Hi." Antonio was sitting at the bar, he was alone.

"Hi yourself." My anger and tired mind were gone in an instant at the sight of him.

"Were you about to leave?" He lifted an eyebrow and pointed to my jacket and my bag.

"Yes, you caught me at the last second actually, I was already half way through the door."

"I guess I got lucky then." The smile he had on his face, the moment he said it, looked good on him.

"You could say that..."

"Want to get a drink with me?" He offered me the seat next to him. As I didn't say anything he continued. "I pay. Though I'm sure you get free drinks because you work here."

"It's not because of that." I paused to take a deep breath. "I'm on shift tomorrow morning, starting early and this was actually my free day, until it wasn't... you know, I got called in because as you may noticed there was a lot going on today. Now the only thing I wanna do is sleep. It's not that I don't want to have a drink with you, I promise, actually I would love to but.. you know what I just said."

This, ladies and gentleman, is me, when I'm nervous and tired at the same time. I felt embarrassed, but as my eyes locked with his, all my worries disapeard and got replaced by an understanding Antonio.

"Another time then!?" He half asked, half stated as a fact with a low voice, looking at me with an intensity in his gaze that made my skin tingle.

I didn't answer, I just nodded but never broke my gaze with him.

I was about to leave, because I got scared, not of him but because I hadn't been with a man since Harris and I wasn't sure if I was ready yet to start something new, If there even was something between them, what I was not sure, or I was but wasn't ready to admitt yet,what also made me want to slap myself because I already knew that I liked Antonio very much, even though I didn't know him that well yet. I felt him grab my hand and take it into his, his thumb rubbing over the back of my hand softly.

"You looked beautiful tonight, in your white chef costume."

"Thanks, see you soon." He still held my hand in his and even though the counter was between us like a wall that kept us seperated, I could feel how my body was pulled to his. It felt like something invisible was pulling me to him. I remembered what had happend last time I fell for a man, I pulled back my hand and was already half gone when I heard him say:

"Oh Definitely."

August, 16. 2015

When I first got in this morning, I felt like a bus had rolled over me. I hadn't slept at all, last night. I was sorting out all kind of thoughts, making a mental list of pro's and con's, trying to get rid of the thought's that still seemed to hold me back. I haven't come to a conclusion yet, but at least I was further to a solution that I was, when I left the bar.

September, 02.2015

Molly's was crowded. I was sitting at the bar talking to Gabby when I felt someone standing behind me. I didn't have to guess who it was because Gabby revealed it by greating her brother.

It had been something like two weeks since the conversation we had in the restaurant. And up to this moment, I hadn't known that I had missed him.

I didn't turn around, afraid my body would betray me. I grabbed my glass of white wine for support as I listened to the siblings talk. I could feel his body heat on my back as he stepped closer, I knew nobody had noticed except for me. My senses were on high alert when I could feel his hard front on my half exposed back, touching only softly but touching. Goosebumps errupting on my skin with every small move I felt him make while he was still talking to his sister.

Every second that passed with him behind me, my body felt cold and hot at the same time, I started shaking and hoped that nobody would notice. I shifted im my seat unconfortably when I felt his hand srtoking over my hip. The little pressure he held in his touch did things to me I can not write down at this point.

"Sylvie ... Sylvie!"

"Huh?" I looked up seing Gabby in front of me, looking at me strangely.

"Forget it! I gotta go back to work. Excuse me will ya?!" She said and was already rushing of.

I felt his hot breath on my neck, his upper body pressing further into mine as he wispered into my ear.

"Hi beautiful."

This moment, right there, I wanted to turn around and just press my lips onto his. But something told me to let it play out.

I didn't say anything, his hand still lingered on my lower back. I didn't dare to move, afraid I would break the spell that seemed to be around us. I lowered my left hand carefully so no one would notice and stroke over his thigh, very very slowly. I felt him move, pressing his body further into mine forcing me to remove my hand from his leg. His other hand moved around my waist and came to a halt on my stomach, my pulse spead up and I couldn't do anything about it. I knew that he had noticed it too because I could feel him leaning in again.

"Wanna grab a drink now?"

"Yes.." Was all I managed to say.

The moment I said it, he let go of me and stepped to the side to stand next to me. He ordered another glass of wine for me and a beer for himself. I could feel his eyes on me. "What?" I asked a little harsher than I intendet it to be. "Nothing" He answered like nothing had ever happend between us.

"So you're a chef."

"Yes, I am."

"How did you manage to get a job in the lion's cave? I heard that Walter only hires the best of the best."

"I think that means that I am one of them then." I said a big smile forming on my lips.

"I guess that has to be it then." He said now smiling as well.

"We're eating there every two weeks." There was quick pause before he continued "I have never seen you there. What I guess is because you're working in the kitchen."

"I have never seen you there either."

"I'm glad you were thirsty the other night."

"Me too." A blush spread out over my cheeks as I found his eyes watching me carefully from the side where he was still standing.

"Do you wanna know a secret?" The way he asked me that little question made my blood freeze in my veins.

"Yes."

"I was undercover when I saw you the other night." Antonio said it so quietly that nobody else had heard it.

"Wasn't it dangerous to stay behind then?"

He nodded, what answered my question.

And then, there it suddendly was, something I knew now that was more than true, as much as I hated to admitt it, I really liked this guy. He was funny in one second, intimidating and dangerous in another. I could tell that he liked me too and as much as it had scared me at the beginning, it didn't anymore, because he also made me feel save.

This was the evening it all started. Everything fell in motion like a game of Domino, where when one stone falls, all of them do.

September, 05 and 06.2015

The table in the restaurant had a beautiful set up. The white tablecloth hung down brushing my legs under the table. The two candles on the table gave the whole date a romantic touch. I still couldn't believe that I was on an actual date. The man sitting across from me wore a black suit with a lean black tie around his neck, the contrast to the white shirt he wore underneath was making him look hot as hell. The earring he wore so well blinked in the light of the candle what got him that bad boy look which he wore so well and I liked so much.

I myself wore a navy blue dress, which showed my every curve, my upper back was almost free of any cloth, the dress was just held together with three thin strappes on my upper back. I still couldn't believe I had actually agreed to this dinner.

Antonio was watching me with his brown eyes, brushing my leg with his under the table, he pulled me back to reality. I caught his gaze and smiled over at him. He tilted his head to the side and lifted up an eyebrow. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I just thought how you look like a member of the mob, sitting in that chair in that hot black suit." I smiled wildely as I witnessed his reaction.

"Hot black suit, huh?" He ripped a piece of bread apart before he continued. "You like bad boys, don't you?"

"No..."

He tilted his head to the side.

"Maybe..."

The detective showed, he knew exactly what I was thinking so there wasn't really a point by lying.

"Ok Ok, yes I do." ... "But in my defense millions of other woman do too." I tried to hide my lame defense by emtying my glass of wine. I put it back down to the table but kept holding on to it. I lifted my head, watching him watching me.

All in all, the date went really well. The night was beautiful, the streets were quiet, so was the drive back to my apartment. Antonio had picked me up earlier and was now dropping me off at my place again. To that point everything was perfect.

Until I walked up to my door!

The door was open, there was no light on in the apartment, but I could tell that something was wrong. I didn't hesitate, I turned around as quickly and soundless as was possible and ran down my driveway back to Antonio who was still there waiting for me to get home safe.

"Miss me already?" He joked, my face seemed to have given me away because his smile faded as fast as it had appeard.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone's in my apartment. Or was... The door is open and I mean open open, not just not locked." Antonio's gaze showed that he was concerned, he instantly changed from charming date to hard police Detective. I watched him grab his gun from under his seat.

"Get into the car and lock the door."

"No, I'm gonna come with you."

"Get. in. the. car." He said harshly. "It's to dangerous for you to come with me." He made a small pause, nodding into the direction of my apartment building he said. "Maybe someone is still in there. You're staying in my car and lock the door. Call Seregant Platt, she's gonna notify the team."

"Be careful." I whispered and brushed my lips over his cheek.

That was frustrating, sitting in the car all by myself waiting for something horrible to happen. If something even was going to happen, maybe I overreacted, maybe my memory wasn't as accurate as I thought and I forgot to close the door, or I closed it but didn't notice that it wasn't closed shut when I turned the key.

I felt the tiredness in my bones as I leaned into the seat, trying to massage my shoulders but never leaving the apartment out of my sight. Antonio was in there, maybe even in harms way, because I again pulled drama my why. I checked the clock on my phone which told me that it was already past midnight. There wasn't one cloud in the sky and the moon shone down giving the empty street some extra lights.

God, how long was he gone by now? To long... I had a bad feeling about this whole situation. I opened the door and stepped out of the car, Quietly I crossed the street and made my way inside. It was still dark inside. I stopped to listen for any sound but there wasn't any. Not one small tone. I opened the door a little more so I could sneak inside.

I followed the corridor which took me further into my home, checking the living room before I made my way up the stairs. I walked slowly and it felt like long minutes passing before I reached the top. I carefully continued sneaking around my own house. So far Antonio was nowhere to be found and the police hadn't arrived yet either.

Where the hell was he? He had to be somewhere in here, nobody had left, I was sure because I would have seen it otherwise. Instinctivly I walked to the biggest room in the house, my bedroom. The door was closed, what was strange, because I remember leaving it open. I carefully pressed down the golden doorhandle and glimpesed inside.

My heart stopped...

There inside he stood, with the back to the door, with no movement but tense. What the hell was he doing?

"Antonio?" I wispered carefully.

He turned around slowly but stayed on the spot, it just seemed that he tried to hide something from me. "What are you hiding?" I asked suspiciously and took a step back. Suddendly I wasn't so sure what was going on, and my feelings seemed to run wild what wasn't helping me at all.

I didn't know if he noticed my defensive posture or if he just changed his mind but all of a sudden he stepped to the side and my eyes found what his broad torso was hiding.

There in the dark of the room with only the light of the moon shining through my bedroom window I had a good view of what was lying on top of my once lime green sheets.

There in a puddle of blood I was looking into the eyes of dead pig's head. I stumbled back. Antonio got hold of my arm, steading me as much as was needed at the moment. I can't remember how much time had passed or how I managed to prefent myself from a panic attack the only thing I can remember clear as day is feeling Antonio's warm hand holding mine.

"It's gonna be ok.. It's gonna be ok. I am here." The words were drifiting through my veins like a prayer. Slowly but shaky I found my voice again.

"What is happening?" I looked around making sure nothing else was out of the ordinary, and there wasn't.

"There also is a message. The knife it was stuck or was plugged into the pig's eye." He said not leaving me out of his sight.

"What?" The moment he said it, I felt my stomach content coming up. "What did it say? And what did you do with it?" My eyes found his. He swifted his posture that he was now facing me. His strong arms took a hold of my body. Before he said anything I knew it had to be bad, because his face gave him away.

"Are you sure you want to know? It's not pretty?"

"Show me."

Antonio walked back to the bed, took what looked like a tissue out of his coat and lifted up a small piece of paper sprinkled with some blood. He walked over to me holding it up so I was able to read it without having to touch it.

YOU'RE A DIRTY SLUT! I SEE YOU, YOU SHOULD HAVE COME WITH ME WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE! NOW I'M COMING FOR YOU!

I covered my mouth with my hand so the scream which was about to leave my body wouldn't! After that, everything was kind of a blur. I didn't know what to think of that or even to understand what was happening to me.

I woke up in an unfamiliar bed, the scent that surrounded me, reminded me that I was in Antonio's bed. It was soft and confortable. Not as big as my own but big enough.

My bed...

Covered in blood.

I turned around but stayed in the warm of the bed, trying to forget what had happend and why it was happening when suddendly, out of nowhere a name popped up in front of my inner eye. Harris...

It had to be him. I mean who else could it be? It would make sense, he came into the Firehouse out of nowhere and wanted me to go back with him. He was the one bringing forward the ultimatum, I only laughed at. That must have made him angrier than I thought. But this angry? Leaving a dead pig head on my bed angry? And what did he mean by ' I see you' ? Did that mean that he was watching me the whole time? If so, then me going on a date with another man triggered something.

I could not figure out if Harris was the type of guy who'd be capable of doing something like this. It wasn't at all how I remembered him. But on the contrary, who do we really know?

"Good morning." Antonio greeted me as I came out of the room folloing the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

"Morning." I took the 'Best Dad in the world' cup he handed me and took a sip of the hot liquor.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Not that good, but thanks for letting me stay here for the night."

"Anytime." He turned with the back to me and I could see his tense muscles shifting under his blue shirt. I quickly put my cup onto the counter and hopped up sitting next to it. My legs dangled back and forth a little while I took another sip of coffee.

I watched him cooking breakfast, I knew we had to talk about what was lingering so heavy in the room but for now I just couldn't. I was glad he didn't push on the subject. Maybe with something warm in my stomach, conversation would be easier.

My finger stroke over his shoulder blade before my brain could even catch with what just happend. I felt him tense under my touch but I let my hand remain. A few seconds later, I felt his body leaning in to my touch. He stepped back a little, and I opened my legs so he could stand in between. He was still not facing me, and neither one of us spoke. I started to caress his shoulders, putting light pressure into my touch as I massaged his shoulders. I let my hand wander down all the way to his lower back, feeling his hard muscles under my care.

The smell of something burning broke the spell and Antonio left my embrace and with two quick steps was back to the stove, he saved the food from getting burned even more, if that was even possible I have to add here.

"I wasn't that hungry anyway." I smiled at him and found him smiling back at me shaking his head in disbelief.

"What? I'm not lying." I said drinking the rest of my coffee.

"I didn't say you did." He said stepping between my legs again.

His brown eyes found mine. He switched his gaze between my eyes and my lips. The pressure of his rough hands on both sides on my hips made my skin tingle with anticipation of what was about to happen. I bit on my lip, I could see his eyes darken as I felt his rough hand on my cheek. The moment his full lips touched mine for the first time, I will never forget. It felt soft but demanding, sweet, yet so spicy. His tounge darted over my lips softly as if I needed any cue, I parted my lips. As his tounge found mine he pulled my body closer into his, kissing me a little more fircefully. I moaned into the kiss as I could feel the fingers on my cheek moving down over my chin, to my neck down to my collar bone.

He let go of me all of a sudden because his phone was ringing loudly from next to me on the counter. He looked at me apologetic and picked it up.

"Dawson!" He barked into the phone.

"What you got?" He made his way out of the kitchen and I followed quietly.

"And in the neighborhood?"

"Ok, keep looking." He said panting up and down the living room. I found myself a seat on the couch as I tried to listen what was said on the other side of the call but so far I heard nothing,

"No, she stays with me." ... "Yes. No need for protetion." I watched the scene carefully as I noticed what he just had said.

"I am going home today." I said louder than I'd intended it to be. Antonio stopped in his tracks and his head shot up. "I call you back." He said harsh and cut the call.

"What?" He asked as if he hadn't heard me before. "You're not going anywhere. It's to dangerous!"

"I'm going home today, I'm serious and I wasn't asking you for permission." I said pissed at the whole situation.

"Unbelievable!" He shouted and threw his arms up in the air and left the room without another glance in my direction.

'Great' now I've pissed of the only friend I have in this whole mess! 'Friend'.. Shit I have to call Gabby. I got up from the couch and got my phone from out of my coat where it still was.

September, 17.2015

Still nothing. No news, no new threats not even a suspicious message. Just nothing. It felt like nothing even had happend. The only diffrence now what that I wasn't living alone anymore. When I refused to stay at his place and I already thought I had gotten my way, he walked me in to my apartment and since then never left me out of his sight.

September, 19. 2015

I knew that something was diffrent the moment he stepped into the bathroom behind me. His upper body was bare from any clothes and I couldn't do anything but stare. He caught me watching in the mirror. I blushed and looked away fast.

"Did they catch him?" I asked finding him in the mirror.

"Yes. They did. Voight just called me."

Air I didn't know I was holding left my lungs. All the angst and worry left my body, and for the first time since the incident, I found myself relax. I leaned back until I felt his warm body on mine. His hands rubbed up and down my arms "It's over. You are safe now."

Kissing him was my only response. He got hold of my chin and held onto it while roughly pressing his lips to mine.

"Now I have you all to myself." He said between kisses. I turned my body around so I was now facing him.

"I have to go home today." He whispered into my ear right before kissing my neck all the way down to my collar bone.

"Not right now though, right?"

I felt his smile on my skin as he shook his head all the while kissing my skin.

October, 25.2015

For one month now, I can't call myself a single anymore. One month of happiness with my new love. One month without dark clouds hanging over my head. I felt like a new person, living in a bouble of happiness.

I was still lying in bed with Antonio behind me, as I watched the big grey clouds passing by. Why did I not close the curtains again? Daylight had woken me up, I could only imagine how cold it was outside as I snuggled deeper into Antonios body. He pulled me closer to him in his sleep. I was happy.

At work everything was going great too. I had found a great friend in Gabby and Cruz. And now that X-mas was near I was happy to have friends I call family.

The second my alarm clock got off, I opened my eyes, I wondered why Antonio wasn't in bed with me when I remembered him telling me that he had to go to work today. That reminded me that I had to get ready myself. Today I was working at the Restaurant again for the last time this month. I was more than glad about that, having two jobs wasn't always as easy as one meant.

My early assumption was correct. It was freezing cold outside. I pulled my coat closer around me on my way to my car. I had parked it down the street near Antonio's. Antonio... by the thought of him and the night we spent together a goofy smiled formed on my lips and dissapeard again as I looked at my car.

Windows were smashed in, tires were stabbed and on the side was written in big red letters 'BITCH'. I turned around to see if anybody was here with me but couldn't see anyone. I pulled out the phone out of my purse and dialed Antonio's number.

"Hey Babe, did you sleep well?"

"Antonio." I said firm "It's happening again!"

I could hear him breath in a breath of air. "What happened? where are you?"

I explained everything to him and only fifteen minutes later the whole street was filled with cops. I watched Antonio from afar as he shouted at his collegues. I could tell that he was worried, because I was too. It was as if my bubble, the bubble I felt save in, had now burst open and reality had struck again. I was hoping that he would take care of the situation, my body felt numb, I felt air leaving my lungs, I was watching them run around but all I could really see was my car. My destroyed car. It all became a blurr when the world around me suddendly went dark.

October, 27.2015

The hospital food was catastrophic and the bed wasn't confortable at all. It felt cold and empty. I opened my eyes and found a fast asleep Antonio sitting in a chair next to me. His head on the edge of my bed. His hand held mine. I smiled, for the first time in days. After I fainted, Antonio brought me to the hospital, because I had hit my head hard. I had a light concussion and Dr. Choi wanted me to stay at least another night. I was all about going home but I got outnumbered by the docter and Antonio.

My head was still pounding when I woke up again. But this time there was no Antonio next to me. The chair was empty. I closed my eyes using the time to myself to rest some more. I was bored to death anyway.

I woke up because I thought I heard something. My eyes shot open, the room was dark, the sun must have gone down a while ago because it was quiet in the room and in the hallway. I was reaching for the light switch but couldn't reach. I ignored the the pain that shot through my head as I tried to get out of bed to get some water. I managed to sit up when I that I was sitting on something hard. The emergency button, great!

My toes reached the cold grey floor of my hospital room, I tip toed to the table where the water was standing on and filled a glass up. I drank it in one long sip.

It was already to late when I noticed it. Big sweaty hands were grabbing me, trying to choke me from behind, I tried to scream but I couldn't make a sound. I tryied to get away with all of my body but I couldn't move. I felt my lungs burning. Stars formed behind my eyes I tried to grab behind me with all the strengh I had left. I knew I was going to lose consciousness soon.

Was I dead?

What had happend?

Where was I?

All these questions, and no answer to it.

"Sylvie."

"Sylvie!"

I tried to open my eyes. I couldn't.

"Sylvie!"

I wanted to move but couldn't.

The voices I heard died away. I wanted to lift my hand to say that I was hearing but my body wouldn't obey me. Maybe I was dying, maybe I already was dead. Maybe this was all just a bad dream.

Everything went black.

Ok, yes I'm telling you that was not the finest moment in my life. But the moment I woke up again, and found Antonio's brown eyes, my life was normal again. I hadn't died, it was close and my body still hurt and protested whenever I tried to move, but that all didn't matter to me. I was safe again, Antonio had made sure of that, and I knew nobody was going to hurt me ever again.

It turned out that Severide had tried to kill me that night. Yes I know right? Who would have thought?! I was shocked too when Antonio told me. Aperantly he was jealous I didn't even noticed his interest in me, and after he overheard my conversation with Harris they must have talked because they started working together after that.

Antonio told me everything after blathered in his ears for days because I wanted to know everything that went down.

"You know that I love you right?"

"I know, and I love you too." He said stepping to the bed.

"Move in with me?" He asked shyly and tried to hide a smile.

"We'll see." I teased but had to smile myself.

Yes, that is the end of my first few months in a new city. One would think I would move again after all I went through, but despite all the horrible that happened, I felt at home. More than I ever felt before.

End