Chapter 3

The rest of the summer had been an almost unbearable flurry of meeting, greeting and planning. Most of this was for Bellatrix and Rodolphus' wedding which was hurtling at them like a rouge Bludger but Druella had made sure Narcissa had not been forgotten about. None of it felt right to Narcissa. This wasn't what was supposed to happen to a girl of her age. Bellatrix, like her mother and grandmother, had been seventeen when engaged and eighteen when married. Narcissa concluded this odd timing was due to Andromeda's less than fond farewell. It wouldn't have surprised her if Lucius was meant for her older sister before plans had to be drastically changed to fit the reviewed family tree.

It turned out she was quite excited to get back to Hogwarts when the time finally came. She walked ahead of her parents as they accompanied her to the station with every intention of running; though of course it would be improper to actually do so. Narcissa tugged her trunk along over the bumps in the path and eventually through the barrier onto the platform that she was so glad to see. It was strange not arriving with either of her two sisters. Bellatrix, of course, had graduated now but her other sister should be here by her side. It only felt like a great loss when Narcissa thought of it in ways like that. She would have to take care of herself now; she had no older sibling to do it for her.

The blonde turned back to her parents to give them a dutiful kiss goodbye and didn't stop for niceties before boarding the train. The realisation that she didn't have anyone to sit with hadn't come to her until she began scouring down the carriages for an empty compartment. When Bellatrix had been with her there had been no trouble in entering a carriage and demanding the people already sitting there to leave and find somewhere else. Bellatrix had that sort of domineering power – Narcissa did not.

On reaching the end of the train and concluding her search for somewhere uninhabited was unsuccessful, Narcissa could feel tears press at the back of her throat. She swallowed and attempted to contain herself. She could feel her temple begin to pulse and in her mind she cursed herself. She had cried so much in secret this summer that she was beginning to find the impulse difficult to control. She blinked several times to force the droplets back but turned sharply when she heard someone utter her name behind her; Lucius.

He had stuck his head out of a compartment door not far from her with his ever growing hair beginning to flop to the side, "Sit with us," he offered, although his tone was almost like a demand. Narcissa raised her chin and pursed her lips in a picture not unlike her mother, "Come on," he encouraged her before re-entering the area.

Cissy exhaled before inhaling deeply to draw herself to her full height and adapt to her mother's ice queen stature before taking herself and her belongings into Lucius' carriage. She placed her trunk by the compartment door and took a seat next to it; at least a space between herself and Lucius who was sat by the window.

Narcissa cast her glance over the three boys sitting opposite. She recognised them all but only one by name; her cousin Regulus. He was younger but it seemed Lucius had thought having him in the compartment would put Narcissa more at ease.

"Do I smell badly, Cissa? Come on, you can sit next to me," he talked to her as if she was a child.

"You need a haircut," she shot back at him with venom to match the quick wit of her oldest sister. The two boys she didn't know sniggered and jested at Lucius as his cheeks burned red. He had not deserved that, Cissy thought. That had been unfair. She glanced to him with a sort of sorry expression to redeem herself. He looked away, obviously embarrassed, and so Narcissa took it upon herself to shift up a seat to sit next to him. Her body language didn't shift in the slightest though – she remained her head high and posture remarkably held.

Lucius showed her a slight smile which she returned through nothing else but pity for the boy's embarrassment. He cleared his throat and gestured to the boys next to Regulus, "This is Avery and Mulciber. Friends of mine," he introduced them. Narcissa, as taught, nodded and greeted them formally. She needed no introduction. Narcissa nodded her head in the direction of her cousin who returned her cold hello. The train came to life at that moment.

The train journey was tedious to say the least. Narcissa spent most of it sitting pretty while Lucius bragged of his high life, his usual arrogant self, to his friends and her. She didn't like the way he acted. Not at all. It was bad enough he was a pompous pretty-boy but an arrogant show off too? Each time Cissa caught sight of the ring on her finger her stomach would turn and her pale skin would flush an unhealthy grey. She wanted nothing more than to curl up on her own and cry herself into an unending sleep.

"Cissy?" the forceful call brought her out of her fantasy and back to the carriage. Apparently Lucius had been trying to get her attention for some time.

"Hm?"

"Anything from the trolley, dear?" the frail old voice from the door spoke directly to her as she glanced round to see the stacked, delicious looking trolley next to the rosy cheeked lady.

Narcissa took a breath to speak but she didn't quite know what she wanted to answer. She couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten apart from the apple she'd picked from garden yesterday morning. She'd done well to avoid meals with the excuse of packing and missed breakfast due to sleeping in. However, Narcissa had no desire whatsoever to eat anything. The thought of eating one of those sugary treats from the sweet old lady made her want to vomit; as though she was stacked full already.

"Oh, no… no thank you," she answered finally, feeling all eyes on her.

The lady nodded and pushed the trolley on down the carriage calling, "Anything from the trolley? Sweets, treats and snacks for young witches and wizards… Anything at all from the trolley? Pumpkin pasties, yes…"

Narcissa listened to her voice in a sort of glazed trance as it became fainter. Narcissa crossed her arms in front of her stomach and kept her lips tightly closed as the boys around her chatted loudly and munched on their purchases.

She remained like this until the end of the Great feast to mark the start of the new Hogwarts year. She barely uttered a word the entire night. She descended the stairs to the Slytherin dormitories ignoring the pointing and murmuring whenever she and Lucius turned a corner together and became somewhat immune to the snippets of conversations she heard about their engagement. This year was sure to be just splendid…

Narcissa didn't say goodnight to Lucius as she parted from his side. She found her bed without really knowing how she got there and, thinking of how her sisters would no longer be sharing the dorm with her, Narcissa fell asleep alone, empty and tearful once again.