AN: This is once again only read by my eyes, so excuse any mistakes. I'm not sure if I'm handling the pacing well, or whatever. I have to figure out how to move the plot on so that we can get to the good, angsty emotional stuff.

After an hour of wandering around her rooms, trying to figure out something to do, Kuvira decided to see if anyone else was awake. It was barely past dawn, and she knew Huan and Bataar Sr. liked to sleep in. But there were guards and workers and…well, she did not think she should get her hopes up for Suyin. Late night conversations did not always carry over into the next day. Despite what progress they may have made the night before, Kuvira knew that she and Suyin had a long was to go, and that she could not push the relationship. It would have to be a long and slow road to recovery for them. They would have to be careful. If they ran before they walked, they could end up stumbling and falling.

She had almost forgotten how large the Beifong complex was, and as she walked around, she realized just how confined she had been the last ten years. Certainly, she had been able to venture into Republic City, but always with the Avatar or Chief Beifong as escorts and always in corded off areas. She had not been allowed to roam unaccompanied, and she had not even registered how much she missed being alone. Alone without being confined to a cell, that was. She had quite enough solitary confinement to last her a lifetime.

Several guards were in the practice yard by the time she found herself there (she had not meant to come there, but her feet had decided for her). They glanced up at her approach, but then continued with their sparring. Kuvira had expected to feel a deep longing as she watched them, but she found she no longer desired the life of a Zaofu soldier. True, she missed sparring and she missed the freedom of unrestricted bending. She missed waking up early and feeling the earth and metal bend to her will. But she did not miss the lifestyle. She wanted something different now.

After she had been watching them for a while, a young woman approached her. "You're Kuvira, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I'm Hua. Suyin said you would probably be out here. She said if you wanted to practice or spar, you could as long as I'm out here."

The girl could be no older than twenty, and Kuvira almost bristled at the thought of someone so young being 'in charge' of her. But she quickly let go of that. Suyin was always cultivating young talent, and Kuvira had been in that position herself. There was no need to be offended.

"It's been a while since I sparred. I think I'll just practice my forms for now."

Hua gave her a bright smile. "Okay! I'll be out here for another hour probably. Just let me know if you change your mind about sparring."

"I will." Kuvira watched her go, wondering if she had ever possessed so much restless energy. Probably. When Hua had rejoined the other guards, Kuvira stripped off her outer tunic, leaving her in a tank top. It was a warm morning, and she knew from experience that working through her forms would cause her to grow uncomfortably hot. When she had been the Great Uniter, she had always sacrificed her comfort for the authority her uniform provided. That was no longer necessary.

Aware that the other people in the yard had stopped to watch her, Kuvira moved through her forms with a methodical patience that she had learned to rely on to keep her emotions in check. Nothing she did was particularly impressive. She no longer felt a burning need to prove herself better than everyone. She knew how good she was. And she also knew that ten years in prison without being able to bend regularly would have atrophied her abilities. All she wanted now was to regain her previous abilities. It seemed that her refusal to do anything outstanding had lost the interest of her onlookers, and they returned soon ignored her.

When Hua approached her again to say she had to report to her station, Kuvira thanked her and made to put her tunic back on.

"Wait, Kuvira." Suyin was approaching her. "If you still want to practice, I have some time to stay with you."

"Thank you. I think, though, that I am done for now." She finished tying the fastens of her shirt and bowed slightly to Suyin.

"None of that, Kuvira," Suyin said with a frown and a wave of her hand. "Anyway, lunch will be in a few hours, and I expect you to be-"

"Su!"

They both turned at the high voice to see a young girl, no older than ten, trotting towards them, Bataar Sr. trailing behind her. Suyin stiffened as first surprise, then panic, then anger flitted across her face. She intercepted the girl and stalked over to Bataar.

"I thought I told you to keep her away until later," she hissed. Kuvira had never heard her speak to Bataar in such a way.

"I tried. She got away from me. I didn't realize Kuvira would still be out here. When she saw you she… well you know how she is." He glanced at Kuvira, worried.

Suyin sighed, her shoulders sagging. "Doesn't matter now. Kuvira, this is Kaori." The girl beamed up at Kuvira, who was waiting for an explanation as to why the child had apparently been kept away from her.

"Hi, Kuvira!"

"Hello." She stared hard at Suyin, knowing in her gut that she would not like what she was about to hear.

"Kuvira," Suyin began slowly, in a tone that suggested she really, really, really, hoped that Kuvira would not become upset. "Kaori is our ward. Her parents died a couple of years ago, and we took her in."

Kuvira's entire body seized up as she stared at Suyin. "Oh."

"Kuvira-"

"I'm fine. It's fine." She took a jerking step back, away from the outstretched hand Suyin tried to place on her arm.

"Kuvira, please, it's not like it was with you." Suyin winced as Kuvira flinched, the words cutting her more surely than any blade.

"I see. Yes. No, of course. That's fine." She swallowed and gave Kaori a small bow. "Nice to meet you Kaori. I have to go." Ignoring Suyin's calls, Kuvira darted away, not quite running, but lengthening her stride to take her away from the unexpected pain.

"Kuvira, come back! Wait!" Suyin doggedly followed. "Kuvira!"

"It's fine," Kuvira called over her shoulder.

"Kuvira, please wait." Suyin began jogging to catch up, coming up beside Kuvira. "Please, Kuvira. It's different with her."

"No, I understand. It's fine. I know I was difficult. She's clearly not as angry. Easier to love."

"Spirits, Kuvira." Suyin's hand found her shoulder and spun her around so that they were facing each other. "We took her in because no one else could or would. I wasn't trying to replace you. I could never replace you. And yes, I've learned from the mistakes we made with you. I'm trying to be better for her and not fail her the way I failed you. But Kuvira, it was never hard to love you." Suyin reached out to touch Kuvira's face, but the younger woman jerked back her head, putting a hand up between them.

"Please don't. Don't patronize me." Kuvira took a deep breath, fighting for her control. It was so much harder these days. Used to, she had such a lock on it, such control over her features, her actions. But now, the nervous energy of her youth was returned to her.

"I thought we talked about this last night," Suyin said. "You're family to me. I love you."

Kuvira let out a barking laugh that startled them both. "Did you love me when you tried to kill me in my sleep?"

Suyin's face hardened. "I already apologized for that. I think we were even when you tried to kill me and my entire family with your spirit weapon."

"Right. Of course." She turned away, but could not bring herself to leave. Hesitantly, Suyin reached out to touch her again, laying a hand on her shoulder.

"Please look at me."

Reluctantly, Kuvira obeyed. Suyin's face had softened again. Her eyes searched Kuvira's, and she let her hand slide down to take Kuvira's own.

"I do love you. I've made mistakes. I haven't shown it as I should. There is so much to overcome between us. But I love you. I always have. I can love you and still love Kaori. It's a different kind of love, and I'm not limited to a certain number of people."

"I wasn't…ready."

"I know. You weren't supposed to meet her like that. I wanted to prepare you. That's why she wasn't at dinner last night. I thought it would be too much too soon." Suyin sighed. "She's been so excited to meet you. She's a bender, and she's wants to show you what she can do."

Kuvira had a flash of a young Opal trying so hard to make earth move the way her brothers did. She remembered consoling the girl, assuring her that bending wasn't everything, that she was just as awesome as her brothers. She remembered Wing and Wei excitedly fighting over who would get to show her their new trick first. She remembered being on the fringe. Almost a family member, but not quiet. Someone who was only half included. A friend, maybe more, but not a sibling. She did not know if she could do that again.

Suyin must have followed her train of thought because she squeezed Kuvira's hand where it still rested between her own. "If that's too much for you, I can make excuses. I've already explained to her that you may prefer to be alone. That you're not used to being around children."

"I will think about it," Kuvira finally said.

"All right." Suyin pulled back, giving Kuvira her space. "I noticed you didn't bring much with you from Republic City."

"They don't exactly allow you to keep a lot of personal possessions in prison.

"Of course. What I was getting at was that I called my tailor to have clothes made for you."

"Su, that's not-"

"It is. You need workout clothes if you're going to be practicing bending. And you can't just have two outfits, or whatever it is you brought. You're so much like Lin that way." Suyin huffed at the thought of her sister. It made the hurt and anxiety that Kaori had caused to soothe away in Kuvira. Instead, affection bubbled inside her. Affection for this complicated woman before her, who she still cared for despite all they had been through. "It's no trouble. She's coming by this afternoon. I…well I noticed that you've lost weight, so I didn't have the right measurements or I wouldn't bother you with it."

Kuvira absolutely hated that the changes to her body were so apparent. She had lost muscle mass, but also some of the softness around her hips, fat from her breasts. She felt thin and stretched out, bony where she should have been strong. She had never been terribly vain, but she did wish that she still had her pre-prison figure. She wished she still looked strong.

"I wasn't afforded the quality food that I was accustomed to here," Kuvira said softly, trying to make light. Suyin's brows furrowed, though, and she did not smile.

"Well. You will not have to worry about that anymore. You can eat what you want and train when you want. Well, so long as there's supervision. I've put aside time in the mornings. I know you'd rather not be under one of my guards."

"It honestly wouldn't be a problem."

"Either way, once you get back into shape, none of them would be a challenging enough sparring partner."

"And you would be?" Kuvira did grin here, easily slipping back into the teasing and taunting that had always accompanied their sparring sessions.

Suyin smirked. "You know I am."

"Then I will make sure to train hard to prove you wrong."

"Excellent. Now, I have to go…make sure that Kaori isn't upset." Suyin's smile fell as she looked behind her to where Bataar and the girl still stood on the practice yard. "She can be very sensitive."

Swallowing the lingering pain, Kuvira bit her lip. "I could…talk with her. Assure her that everything is all right?"

"I don't want to ask you do to that."

"I'm volunteering."

"If you're certain. That would probably be best." Suyin led the way, and Kuvira could see the worry etched in Kaori's face, her bright amber eyes showing her Fire Nation heritage. The girl stepped up to meet them.

"I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I didn't mean to upset you."

Kuvira shook her head. "You didn't. I was just…surprised to meet you, that's all." She knew she should say more to put the child at ease, but she did not have the words or the energy. Luckily, Suyin covered for her.

"You know we talked about this. Kuvira hasn't been around a lot of people for a while. She just needs to get used to it again."

"Okay." Kaori offered Kuvira a smile, which the other woman tried to return without looking too awkward. "Su, can I practice bending with you and Kuvira tomorrow?"

With a slight panicked look, Suyin glanced at Kuvira. "I don't know if-"

"It's fine with me," Kuvira interrupted, giving Kaori a small nod.

"Then, I suppose you can. Now, it will be very early. Kuvira likes to get up with the sun."

Kaori made a face, wrinkling her nose, but she resolutely said, "I can do it."

"All right. Don't complain in the morning when you're still sleepy, though." Suyin gave her a wink, and Kuvira felt it like a punch to the stomach. She wondered if that would ever stop. If she would ever be able to fully let go of her jealousy. She did not want to be Suyin's daughter, but she desperately craved the closeness that Kaori was provided. She wanted to be that important to Suyin, to be someone who was freely given smiles and winks. But Suyin had said she loved her. That was a start. "Now, I do believe you have lessons to do." Suyin raised a brow at Kaori, who groaned dramatically. "Off you go, young lady. Go, and I will see you at lunch."

"Will Kuvira be there?"

"Yes. You can talk to her later." Suyin tweaked her nose, then gave her a soft shove towards the compound. "I expect you to work hard."

"I will." She gave Kuvira a wave. "I'll see you at lunch!" And she skipped away. Bataar waited for a moment.

"I'm sorry about that," he said to both of them. "I know that wasn't how you wanted that to happen."

Suyin shook her head. "It's fine now. I'm sorry I snapped at you." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before following Kaori. Kuvira looked away from their affection, not liking the hot jealousy that flared in her. She had never wanted affection so acutely. Not like this. Not to the point where it affected her ability to control her emotions. "Kuvira? Are you all right?"

"Yes. Fine."

Suyin did not look like she believed that at all, but she let it slide. "I have a few meetings this morning. You're welcome to accompany me, or you can entertain yourself." Kuvira had accompanied Suyin to many meetings in the past as Captain of her guard. Her immediate reaction was to agree, to go with Suyin, to stay by her side. It would have been so easy to fall back into that dynamic. But Kuvira thought of all the socialization she would be doing that day. The meals with the family, dealing with the tailor. She knew that it would drain her. It would take her a long time to become accustomed to being around people regularly again.

"I think that I will explore the library this morning instead. Thank, though, for the offer."

"I suppose going back to old times was too much to hope for," Suyin said with a sad smile.

"Things are different now."

"Yes. We'll find a place for you."

First, though, Kuvira had to figure out what she wanted. What she wanted to do with her life. Ha. Almost forty, and just now thinking about what she wanted to do when she grew up. It had always been 'lead Zaofu after Suyin.' Then it had been 'unite and lead the Earth Kingdom.' Then it was just 'survive.' And finally, she had settled on 'repent and rebuild.' Now…well, now she did not know what she wanted. She knew she wanted to do good. She had always wanted to do good. But since she had been working with Korra, she finally knew how to go about it in a productive way that did not hurt other people. She just did not know how to translate that into things she could do at Zaofu.

She felt so lost.

"Actually," she said, an idea forming. "Is there any maintenance work that needs to be done? Anything that needs to be fixed or cleaned? It doesn't matter how large or how small."

Suyin seemed surprised by her request, but her brows knitted together in thought. "We're remodeling Bataar's office. It's slow going because of other projects in the city. It's been put on the back burner."

"I could do that. It would give me something productive to do."

"All right. Let me show you…Ah. Well, you know where it is. I can walk you there, if you'd like." Suyin saw her hesitation. "To get past anyone in the hall who might give you a hard time."

"Okay." She followed Suyin into the nearest building. No one bothered her while she was with Suyin. She received plenty of curious looks, but no one seemed brave enough to approach them. Kuvira wondered if Suyin had prepared them. Then she shook her head. Of course Suyin had prepared them. Suyin would have taken every precaution to make Kuvira's return to Zaofu as smooth and uneventful as possible. Despite their personal issues, Suyin had always fostered an environment of forgiveness and second chances in Zaofu. Kuvira knew it was different with her. She had personally wronged the citizens of Zaofu, but then again, she had once been one of them. It was a complicated situation that required…delicacy.

"Bataar has wanted a change for a while," Suyin was saying as they walked. "His office has looked the same since before you…well, since before you were Captain." She looked resolutely forward, glancing over the possible sticky conversation about the last time Kuvira was in Zaofu. "He has the plans in there still, so you should be able to follow them."

"Is he all right with me coming in here and doing this?"

"It's fine," Suyin said with a careless wave of her hand. "If it makes you feel better, I'll mention it to him so he's no surprised."

Kuvira nodded. She had never been as close to Bataar Sr. He tended to stay wrapped up in his work. Suyin had always been the Beifong she was closest to. Closer than she was to Bataar Jr. She knew that. She had always known that. While she had been prepared to marry Jr., she had never been willing to share the most vulnerable parts of herself with him. Of course, she had never wanted to share her vulnerabilities with anyone, not even Suyin. But somehow, Suyin knew them anyway. It wasn't that Suyin was exceptionally perceptive. She could be, but she also tended to wear blinders to certain realities. Something that had always irritated Kuvira. No, Suyin's perceptions were always singularly accurate when it came to Kuvira. No matter the times Kuvira had tried to keep herself from Suyin, keep her emotions and motivations and desires from being apparent, Suyin had usually known.

"Well, here we are." Suyin's voice wrenched her out of her thoughts. They were standing outside of Bataar's office. The door was open and clear plastic was hanging over holes in the walls, building materials scattered around the room. It was a mess. Suyin strode over to the desk, which had been pushed into the middle of the room along with the rest of the furniture, and picked up two rolls of plans. She opened them and spread them out, waving Kuvira over to look at them. "This wall needs to be opened up. He's expanding into the next room. Normally, I'd have two or three people working on this to make sure the structure stays sound, but I know your skills. You can handle this on your own. Don't take it all at once. Go little by little. There's no rush."

Kuvira studied the plans. She had seen enough of Bataar Jr.'s work to know what all the lines and symbols and keys meant. She knew where weight bearing loads were marked, and she could read how Bataar Sr. intended the changes to be made. "I can do this."

"Good. Don't get too involved. Kaori is expecting you at lunch." Suyin sighed softly, growing serious. "I really am sorry that you had to meet her that way."

"You never mentioned her before." There had been letters over the last few years. A couple of in person visits when Suyin had come to Republic City. They had talked. And Kuvira thought that Kaori was important enough to have been mentioned at some point in all that. If she truly was to be treated as Suyin's child. If the situation truly was different than it had been with Kuvira.

"I didn't know how," Suyin admitted. "Every time I thought of doing it…It always seemed like it would be a slap in the face for you. Bragging or…or showing her off. I don't know. I never found the right way. It didn't feel right to say it in a letter. Cowardly." Kuvira distinctly remembered calling Suyin a coward long ago. Something she knew wasn't true, but at the time she had thought so. "Telling you in person felt like…like I was gloating. You were in prison and my life was continuing with no consequences for the mistakes I had made. People in the United Republic saw me as a hero. The people in the Earth states were too busy trying to function independently to see me as anything. I was able to go back to my life. I didn't…it took so long for me to even come see you, and then it took so long for me to stop throwing accusations at you every chance I got. I didn't want to send us backwards."

"Probably wise." Kuvira swallowed, hating how emotional she had been since arriving in Zaofu. She had known it would be hard, that her cool exterior would not be able to stay unwavering. "I can't say how I would have reacted." She could feel how badly Suyin wanted to reach out to her. Her body language was transparent, her hand clenched tight at her side to keep it still. Kuvira appreciated that she refrained. Though she was growing more comfortable with Suyin, though they seemed to be moving forward, she knew she was not ready for those casual displays of affection, those offhanded touched that Suyin was so fond of. Suyin knew, too. She knew that Kuvira had never been one to accept physical contact readily. Outside of sparring, at least.

It had been different before. Thirteen years earlier, when Kuvira was in her twenties, when she was dancing with Suyin, when she was not as hard and jaded. In those days, she had more easily accepted Suyin's affection. It had been easy. And now…now she wanted it, but couldn't accept it. She wanted Suyin to touch her, but she knew it would destroy her carefully cultivated control. Perhaps when she was more…settled. Perhaps then, she could accept that affection. When she was certain it would not be snatched away again.

"I wasn't…trying to hide her," Suyin continued. "I just wanted to tread lightly. Anyway." She glanced at the clock on the desk. "I do have a meeting to get to."

"Of course. I'll be fine here."

"I'll see you at lunch." Suyin gave her a nod then left her alone in the office.

Once she was alone, Kuvira surveyed the room. Beneath all the plastic, it was the same office she had known thirteen years before when she had still been Suyin's Captain. And that was to say, boring. Bataar Sr. and Suyin had such excellent taste, that it always baffled Kuvira to see Bataar Sr.'s office. It was nice, it was functional, it had pleasing colors. But it did not fit with the cutting edge architecture the rest of Zaofu showed. And now it was nearly fifteen years out of date, behind the times. She supposed there had been more important things to worry about in that time. Spreading the wealth, sharing technology with the other Earth states.

Of course, a boring décor to match Bataar Sr.'s boring personality.

Kuvira sighed. That was untrue. Bataar was kind, and that was not the same thing as boring. He was soft and caring in all the ways that Suyin (and Kuvira herself) were sharp and hard. Just because he did not have ruthlessness inside him did not mean he was boring. Or that he wasn't brave. She had worked hard for a long time to combat her natural tendency towards judgment and disdain. It was unfair and did nothing but create a toxic headspace for her.

Or so Korra and Kya said. Waterbenders could be so irritatingly right in matters of health, both physical and mental.

After she felt confident in her understanding of Bataar Sr.'s plans, Kuvira removed all of the plastic covers from the wall that needed to be removed. She carefully folded them into neat piles with crisp corners. She had given up on much of her need for order, but some things still remained. A healthier amount. Not everything had to be controlled. But that did not mean she had to succumb to chaos.

Takin a deep breath, Kuvira dropped into a traditional earthbending stance. As the Great Uniter, she had used metalbending first and foremost, which did not require the same sort of discipline. It was a more fluid style of bending. But for this, she would need to rely on basics. Closing her eyes to get a better feel, Kuvira jabbed up with her closed fists, satisfied as a hole opened at the base of the wall. She could have easily taken down the entire thing, but that would have caused instability. Slowly, she widened the hole, mindful of the growing pile of rubble she left in her wake.

"Excuse me! What do you think-Oh. Kuvira, it's you." Bataar stood in the doorway, clutching an armful of papers and scrolls. Kuvira straightened, her hands held in front of her to show she was not about to do anything hostile. A habit she had picked up over the years in prison. His eyes fell to her hands, and he frowned. "What are you doing in here?" He studied the hole she was making, brows furrowed.

"Su told me you wouldn't mind if I completed this." Her hands were still outstretched, and Bataar took a step towards her, angling his head down to indicate her posture.

"I trust you," was all he said, and Kuvira nodded, letting her hands drop. "You want to finish my office?"

"I want to keep busy. Su said she would tell you."

"Ah. Well…I haven't seen Su in a while. She must have gotten sidetracked. Anyway, I certainly won't stop you. I just needed to get something from my desk." He juggled his load, shifting a few scrolls. Kuvira finally decided to offer her help, and closed into his personal space to take a few scrolls from him. "Thank you." He gave her a small smile. "I keep thinking that I've gotten everything out of here that I need, but then I keep forgetting things." He bent over the desk, pulling out drawers until her let out a triumphant exclamation. "Ah ha! Here it is." He held up what looked to Kuvira to be a very ordinary ruler, and she could not keep the confusion from her face.

"What is it?"

"This is a ruler."

"Oh." Well. Somehow she had expected a different answer. "I can see that."

"It also happens to be my favorite ruler because it has three different forms of measurement on it, see?" He held it up so that she could lean over and inspect it. "Our standard measurements, of course, metric measurements, and my favorite. Ancient Earth Kingdom measurements. Based on a previous Avatar's finger width. I needed this one because last week, I decided to write all my measurements that way." He grinned. "In hindsight, I should have seen what a headache that would cause."

Kuvira just nodded, unsure what to say. She was awkward under the best social circumstances, and this was hardly an ideal interaction. But Bataar did not seemed perturbed. He actually seemed even more dedicated than Suyin to making Kuvira feel welcome.

"I can take those back now," he said, pointing to the scrolls in her arms. She carefully transferred them back to him. "I know Su has probably already said this, but I am sorry about this morning."

"It's fine."

"I know it's not." His shoulders sagged just a bit. "I know that we messed up with you. With how we handled everything. We're trying to do better with Kaori."

"I know." It came out more irritated than Kuvira had intended. She took a deep breath. "I've already spoken with Su about it."

"Of course. We don't have to talk about it. I will leave you to it, then. Let me know if you have questions or need anything." He gave her another small, lopsided smile before retreating back into the hall.

For a long while after he was gone, Kuvira stood still, staring after him.

No, Bataar Sr. wasn't boring at all.