V

A Place to Sleep

Beth trudged into the home sometime after nine, but the Hardins were still shouting at one another. They'd probably started the quarrel two hours ago, when Mr. Hardin had come in late for dinner and Mrs. Hardin had started asking him where he'd been. It'd been the same for three years now. Funny, how joining the Reds had actually been good for Beth's home stability. The Hardins didn't really care where she'd been, so long as she didn't cause trouble at the home and babysat when they wanted to go out and "reconnect." They weren't bad guardians as far as foster parents went. But God, they were annoying.

The Hardins took no notice of her as she passed through the worn, brown living room and into the green linoleum kitchen but just kept bickering over the coffee table. There was a yellow note on the fridge in Mrs. Hardin's handwriting that said Jack from school had called again for Beth. Beth sighed and crumpled it up before throwing it in the trash. The boy wouldn't take the hint that she just wasn't interested. She didn't need that crap. Didn't need anything holding her back.

Beth grabbed a paper plate out of the cabinet and helped herself to some cold ham and green bean casserole from the fridge. She didn't bother heating it up, but wolfed it down standing, washed her fork, tossed the plate, and grabbed her water bottle, by the sink in the draining pan. She filled it up with tap water, screwed the lid on, and walked back through her shouting guardians to her room with a tired, sarcastic wave they didn't even acknowledge.

If the Hardins had been asleep at this point, Beth might have heard loud, strung-out sex going on down the hall. But since they weren't and she didn't, Beth just bet the window in Janey's room was open and she'd snuck out to see Ethan, or Joey, or whatever loser she was sleeping with this week. Theo was pumping his music anyway out of the cheap-ass stereo he'd saved for weeks to get secondhand, though, trying to drown out the noise, because shouting or sex, no one wanted to hear that. Beth envied Theo his stereo, but she saved her money for other things.

Beth's room was small and brown like the living room. Ratty, brown, plastic blinds over a tiny, dirty window. A table and chair with an ancient console on top. A small, chipped mirror that hung over it. But none of that was Beth's. Her five or six sets of clothes were hung and folded in a closet that was still too small, and the rest of her stuff was in her old, blue duffel, faded and falling apart, that she still kept in the corner by the bed even after three years, out of habit, and increasingly now because she'd need it again someday soon.

The bed was low and the mattress was bumpy, but right now, that wasn't the problem. Caitlin was on it, even though since Janey was out, she could sleep in her own room tonight. "Beth!"

Beth sighed, threw her backpack in the closet, and opened her arms obligingly for the five-year-old. The little girl hugged her with that incredible strength Beth always saw in the smallest, scared ones. Hugging tight to anything solid and good they could find in their cold, crappy world.

"Catey, what are you doing here?" Beth said. "You should be asleep. Janey's not here, is she?"

"No, she's out, but I can't sleep. Not with Theo and them. Anyway, I like it better with you," Caitlin said, cheerful in her selfishness. She had no idea how much she kicked, and she never remembered the nightmares she had about her daddy in the morning. And Beth was so, so tired.

It was exam time at school, and then she'd pulled a hack-and-heist on the Comets this afternoon, against tougher security than she'd ever tried to beat. Then Nash had come in from a job, and without Stace, he ran into a lot more trouble these days. The skycar had been badly banged up, and Beth had had to put in a few hours fixing it, too, and later, punch out Will when he'd got too handsy after the celebrating on the other side of base had been going on a while. It was a shame, too. They got on when Will was sober. He'd probably be pissy tomorrow. He hadn't been around a couple years back when Beth was still practicing fighting in the base. Beth was just the tech chick to him, and he had a bit of an ego. It'd probably be a couple weeks before they could be friends again. Well, friendly. Stace and Lukas were still her only real friends in the Reds. Everyone else was too damn sold on the whole thing, and therefore too dangerous.

Still, Beth hugged Caitlin back to her and stroked her hair. "Alright," she said. "You can stay. Try to sleep now, okay? I'm going to be up a while."

"I'll try," Caitlin promised. All she'd needed was the permission. Already in her nightshirt, she snuggled down immediately into the threadbare sheets and the wool comforter, somehow managing to hog most of the tiny bed with her tiny self, and clutching her stuffed rabbit to her, the last gift from her mother before the neighbors had called the social worker about her father.

Beth went over to the closet and changed into the old, soft T-shirt she slept in. She smelled her clothes, decided they were still okay, and hung them back up in the closet. Then she knelt down and opened her backpack. She ignored the datapad where she kept all her homework. What with exams, most of it wasn't due until halfway through next week, anyway. Instead, Beth looked over the three tablet novels she'd checked out from the library. She decided Ships in Space: The Basics of Three-Dimensional Military Strategy sounded more appealing tonight than Humanity United: A Short History of the Alliance or Not Alone: A Traveler's Guide to Alien Culture. She'd had it with people today, and cold, impersonal physics sounded beautiful.

Outside in the living room, Mrs. Hardin had finally stopped yelling and started crying, and now Mr. Hardin would be all soft reassurances. Beth still hadn't decided whether all Mr. Hardin's reassurances were honest or not, whether Mrs. Hardin actually had a reason to be suspicious and angry. Honestly, she didn't care. Anyway, it was quieter now. Theo had turned off his music too. Behind Beth, Caitlin's breathing was slowing.

She stood with the book and moved to the bed. She resituated Caitlin, and Caitlin made a small groan of protest, then snuggled up to Beth.

"Read it to me?" she asked. Her voice was heavy with sleep.

"It's not a story, Caitlin," Beth warned. "It's another one of those that won't make any sense."

"Don't care. Like to hear you. Please?"

Beth softened. "Alright." She activated the book, and the screen lit up. Beth took a drink from the bottle she'd placed beside her bed and began to read.

A/N: Sometimes publishing these seems like shouting sonnets into empty space. But if you're out there, if you're reading and enjoying, this is for you. And at least keeping to the schedule gives my week structure.

LMSharp