AN: Oh my God it's been forever and ever since I uploaded for this story, but I got come inspiration this week, and I really want to see this thing through. So I hope y'all have stuck with it and will continue to stick with it.

also a bit of a trigger warning for Kuvira thinking about her body and how thin she's gotten

Part of Kuvira was certain she had never been so uncomfortable in her life. The part of her that had not picked up Suyin's flare for dramatics insisted that such sentiments were unnecessarily ridiculous. A trial, ten years in prison, and countless hours of community service alongside people who hated her were surely much more uncomfortable than sitting for a portrait as Huan painted. Of course, in all those previous situations, she had been allowed to move, not sit as still as she could for hours. Really, she could not recall why she had agreed to this. Perhaps as a way to secure Huan's good graces (though he had not said or done anything to suggest she had not already secured them). Perhaps it was because it guaranteed her a few uninterrupted hours away from Suyin's painfully longing eyes. Baatar must have talked to her about giving Kuvira space because she had been surprisingly willing to keep her distance. However, that did not stop her from looking like the only thing she wanted in the world was to touch Kuvira at every opportunity.

"Stop scowling," Huan grumbled.

"What?"

"You're scowling again, and this piece is supposed to be a reflection of remorse."

"Sorry." She tried to relax her features, to look properly 'remorseful.'

"Better. I know this is difficult because scowling is your natural state of being."

"It is not," Kuvira said, but Huan just raised a brow. She realized that her own brows had snapped back together, and she was indeed scowling again. "Sorry. Again."

"You've been scowling a lot the past couple of weeks," he said lightly. "Ever since Korra and Aunt Lin left." He hesitated. "They didn't give you a bad report, did they?" His concern was so undeserved that Kuvira had to close her eyes and bite her lip. She had imprisoned him, betrayed his family, nearly killed his mother and brothers. And he had not once brought that up. Not since she had been there, not since she had let prison.

Huan didn't complain about her moving. He just waited.

"No. I received a very positive report from them both." The official document had arrived a week after they left. "Apparently I'm on track and 'no longer a danger to myself or others.'" She sighed. "Korra said that in six months, if I continue to improve, they can cut down on my security."

"Okay. Then why have you been acting like someone killed your turtleduck?" He paused, his own brows furrowing this time. "Are you and Mom fighting again?"

Kuvira grimaced. This was definitely not a conversation she wanted to have with Huan. How would he react if he knew Suyin was in love with her? Did he even know about his parents' arrangement? Spirits, she should have considered this earlier. He may have warmed up to her, have even forgiven her for everything done during her rebellion, but knowing his parents wanted her to be involved in their open marriage would probably be a breaking point. Too much to handle. Did she want to jeopardize all she had gained with him? With Kaori?

"No. We're not fighting."

"Because you two are barely speaking. Normally, you're inseparable."

She wondered if he was extra observant or if they were just extra obvious. She was leaning towards the latter, at least in Suyin's case. Her sad, kicked polar bear-dog eyes whenever she looked at Kuvira could not have been easily missed.

"It's nothing to worry about," she finally said. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, clearly unconvinced, but he nodded.

"Good. Because the last time you weren't speaking, she was completely insufferable. It's like, she couldn't talk to you, so she talked to everyone else about you." He rolled his eyes, exasperated, and Kuvira knew he was still ignorant of his mother's true feelings towards her. Though, during the time he referenced, she knew Suyin's feelings had been different. Love, perhaps, but not in love. But always complicated. Would that be what they always where? Complicated? Were they never destined for something simple and easy? It seemed to her that everyone else was afforded the chance to have someone without all these stumbling blocks. Korra and Asami had just about the most perfect relationship she had ever seen. And Lin and Kya may have taken a while to get together, but after that, things had fallen into place for them. But then she remembered that Korra and Asami had at one time been dating the same boy, and that Lin had gotten left for a younger woman, and that Kya had lost a first wife, and that even if things were good for them now, it hadn't always been like that.

Still. None of them had faced quite what Kuvira was facing. A husband, a family, a prison sentence, legal guardianship. A twenty-one year age difference. While her heart just told her to take the plunge, take a chance, her overwhelming analytical mind carefully weighed every option and every possible outcome. And it told her that her chances, their chances, were slim. Slim to none. Perhaps she was deluding herself into thinking all she needed was time and space and equal footing.

Huan was still waiting for her answer.

"Well," she began slowly, "last time, she had every right to be upset." She supposed it should have been obvious that Suyin would talk about her, that the separation would have been hard on her, but it still felt strange to know that she had cared so much, even then. Even before….before she was in love with Kuvira.

Huan looked ready to pain again, now that he knew Suyin and Kuvira were not fighting, so she returned to her previous pose, softening her expression again. She was not pleased about being painted, as it played into that part of her that craved recognition and importance. It played into some vanity she had about her own power. Not anything about physical vanity. Clinically, she knew she was attractive. She knew people thought she was beautiful. Or had been before prison ravaged her once strong body. A few weeks of light training and solid meals could not yet undo the damage, and she still looked painfully thin and wasted away when she looked in the mirror. She could still count her ribs, still feels the knobs of her spin. Her hands still looked like long spider legs, too thin, too frail. No longer the hands of an earthbender. She no longer had the body of a powerful earthbender. Sometimes she looked at Suyin's legs, and knew that there were powerful muscles there, hidden by her loose clothing.

So she did not want her likeness captured until she felt good about herself again. And she never wanted anything to feed her pride. That would be disastrous. But Huan had insisted that she post for him. He said her face held "an immeasurable sorrow" that he just had to capture. Briefly, she wondered if that was his way of saying he understood her regret. He was not as quick as Baatar or Suyin or Kaori to spend time with her, but when he did, he always made sure she knew she was forgiven.

"Mother is pretty awful at expressing her emotions," Huan said as he painted. "She gets that from Grandma Toph. She never wants anyone to know how she's feeling if it could be seen as weakness."

Kuvira snorted, remembering Suyin's love-filled eyes and laid-bare emotions. "That's definitely not the problem here."

"Ah, I see. Too much emotions." He scrutinized her. "She missed you while you were in prison." It's the most blunt he's been about anything to her, especially her incarceration. "And I think she always wrestles with how she's supposed to feel about you. Like, for years, she was so angry that she missed you. Angry that she wanted you to come home. So she pretended that she hated you, because she thought she was supposed to. But she never hated you. She never could. And now…" He quirked his mouth in thought. "Now I think she might feel a little guilty that she's so happy to have you back. And you know how well she deals with guilt."

"She doesn't seem guilty to me," Kuvira said quietly. It had never occurred to her that Suyin may have struggled to come to terms with her feelings. But it was entirely possible that her aggressive enthusiasm was coming from those insecurities. Kuvira's first impulse was to go and ask, go and try to comfort Suyin, to hash that out and help the older woman feel at peace spiritually. When she remembered that would be a bad idea under their current arrangement, she felt immediate loss and longing. Deep down, she knew that her struggle to keep Suyin away was a losing battle. Even if Suyin kept up her end, Kuvira's own constitution would eventually fail and crumble. How strange to think that ten years earlier, no amount of love could have swayed her once a decision had been made. How weak she was now.

No. Not weak.

Not because of that, at least. Learning to value life over goals was not weak. Caring about people was not weak. She knew still that the part of her that had driven her to sacrifice every person she had ever loved for order was alive and well inside her. She knew that if it was necessary to save the Earth Emp-…Earth...Republic, she would sacrifice Suyin. She would sacrifice every single Beifong and herself and the Avatar and every person she cared about. She knew that unlike Korra (unlike Suyin), she had the ability to divorce herself from her emotions in order to make decisions for the greater good. If only she could keep that ability from being corrupted.

Looking at Huan, though, she pleaded with the spirits to never, please never, put her in that position again She no longer wanted to be cold and hard. She did not want those decisions to be up to her. She did not want her soul to turn any darker than it already was. So much, she wished she could completely purge the Great Uniter from herself, much as she had tried to purge her Empire of 'impurities.' That toxic part of her that had ruined so much for so many people. The part that still insisted she needed to keep her heart guarded, disconnected from her emotions. Become stone. Feel nothing.

And that scared her. Knowing that at any point she could go back to that.

Not the Great Uniter. No, that wasn't even an accurate description of who she had been. The Great Destroyer. That is how she would be remembered. Every good deed she had done would be forgotten in the wake of those last few months of her campaign. History would write her as a dictator, as evil. It already had. She deserved no less.

"Kuvira?" Huan was looking at her with concern. "Are you all right?"

She tried to give him a smile, but it felt forced and brittle. "Yes. Just…remembering."

With parents as sharp as his, it was not surprising that Huan was so perceptive. Like his mother, he seemed in tune with Kuvira's shifting moods. His face said that he knew what she meant by 'remembering.'

"I've probably done all I can today. We can pick this up again tomorrow, if you'd like."

"If you don't mind."

"Same time, so that the lighting is right."

"Of course." She stood up and stretched, her neck popping where it had become stiff.

"That's disgusting." Huan's nose wrinkled.

"If you had let me move around more, I wouldn't need to do it."

"I had to get the lighting right!" he protested.

"Okay, then let's see how you did." She tried to get a look at the painting, but he turned it around too quickly, glaring.

"It's not done."

Kuvira rolled her eyes, and threw her hands up in the air. "Fine, fine."

It really was amazing that they could tease like this. Almost like it had been before. Almost like friends. Almost like family. A family she could ruin if the thing with Suyin blew up. And then what would she be to Huan? Nothing again. Was it a risk she was willing to take?

She didn't know yet.

After she left Huan, she intended to head to the practice yard to watch some of the benders practicing, but a guard intercepted her.

"Phone for you."

Kuvira frowned, worried. She could not think of any reason for someone to call her. "Avatar Korra?"

The guard shook his head. "No. Kya."

"Kya? Lin's wife, Kya?"

"I assume so. Suyin said you could take it in her office."

Kuvira followed him to the office. The matriarch was chatting on the phone when they entered, and she quickly waved the guard away.

"She's here. Yes, all right….You, too. Bye now." She handed the phone to Kuvira.

"Kya?"

"I realized it had been ages since I talked to you." Kya's voice was light and jovial as always, and Kuvira was even more confused. Kya had only ever talked to her about her mental health, and they weren't exactly friends. Their visits had never been social ones, and when she had gone to Kya and Lin's wedding, she had felt out of place in that group of people who were all clearly good friends. Like she was there as a pity case, not a real guest. She could not understand why Kya would call her just to…talk.

"Oh, um…I suppose it has." She looked to Suyin who was still standing in the room, but the older woman just raised her brows. "Is everything all right?"

"Oh, yes. Everything is grand. I wanted to run something by you."

"Um, okay."

"Well, you know with Lin retiring finally, we're not tied to Republic City anymore." As if Kya had ever been tied anywhere. She moved with the winds, and only settled down because her wife was about as easily swayed as a mountain.

"…Okay."

"And you know Lin's family is mostly in Zaofu or not too far away, so we thought we'd look for some real-estate there."

"Oh. That…great." She glanced again at Suyin, who was watching her expectantly. Like she knew where this conversation was going before Kuvira did.

"Yes. So, since we would be in the same city, I thought…we thought, maybe it could make things a little easier on you if you were under our supervision instead of Su's."

The silence stretched out, and all Kuvira could do was stare at Suyin, who had bitten her bottom lip, waiting for Kuvira's response. She had known. Perhaps she had even planned this. Which really kind of pissed Kuvira off in a way she had not been pissed off for….a long time.

"Kya," she said, voice high and strained, "can I call you back? I need to talk to Su."

"Oops. Of course. Don't give her too much hell. She's just trying to make things easier for you both."

"I uh…yeah, okay. I…need to go now."

"Sure thing, Kuvira. Hey, how about you think on this for a while. Call me back in a day or two."

"Fine."

"All right. Bye."

"Bye." Trembling, Kuvira hung up the phone and turned to Suyin.

"Are you upset?" Suyin looked as if the possibility of Kuvira being angry had not occurred to her.

"You asked them to move here?" She did not like the idea of Suyin upending people's lives for her own wants.

Suyin shook her head, taking a step forward, a step towards Kuvira. "No. It was all Lin's idea. I swear. And they're moving regardless of what you decide. She and I didn't speak for thirty years. We have a lot to make up for, and now that she's retired, there's no reason for us not to be closer. They're moving because of family, not because of…us. Lin thought, if they were going to be here anyway…if you lived with them, then you wouldn't have to worry about our power imbalance."

"You did all of this without asking me about it." She shook her head. "Behind my back." This was disturbing to her because she knows she could not do anything with Suyin if there was a break in trust.

Suyin's eyes widened. "What? No. I…I didn't want to worry you until I was sure it was a real possibility. I just wanted to secure another place for you."

"Are you trying to send me away?" Kuvira was ashamed by how small her voice sounded.

Suyin crumpled, and she forgot that they were supposed to be keeping their distance, and she reached out to cup Kuvira's face.

"Spirits, sweetheart, no. No. Absolutely not."

"Because I don't…I want to live here and have meals with the family and train with you and Kaori and…I don't want to leave."

Suyin closed her eyes briefly. "Kuvira, love, I don't want you to leave. Not after we worked so hard to bring you home. But I do want you. In a way I can't have you unless someone else is in charge of your supervision. That was your condition to try this."

"I also said I needed time!" Kuvira cried. "I need you to give me space, Su! Not keep pushing me to move at a pace that is more acceptable to you."

Suyin's hands dropped, and she looked shocked. "I…I didn't mean for it to come off that way. I just thought if you had one less thing to worry about, it might be that much easier for you to work through the rest of it. Yes, I would want things to move more quickly, but that doesn't matter. Most importantly, I want you to feel comfortable. Maybe I should have approached this differently, and for that, I'm sorry. I do want to give you space. I don't want you to end up resenting me for pushing you. I'm trying, Kuvira. I'm not…patience is not easy for me."

"I know."

"I love you, and I do just want you to be happy."

"You just think I'll be happy if I'm with you," Kuvira supplied flatly, remembering Baatar's words along those lines. She felt like she was being pushed into this, and she knew she was going to balk if Suyin did not back off.

Suyin grimaced. "I hope you would be happy with me, but I'm not trying to…force you into anything. With Lin and Kya I…We just want you to have options." She reached down and took Kuvira's hand, their bodies so very close together. Kuvira could feel Suyin's heart through the floor, feel her pulse beating out a pounding rhythm. She was clearly nervous, her hands shaking ever so slightly where they touched Kuvira."

"I'm sorry," she said again, as if she was terrified. "I'm sorry, please." Kuvira was certain she had never heard that tone from Suyin before. That desperation. And she knew in a strange way that she had power in this situation. Which, hadn't that been what she wanted. To have an equal power? But now it was unequal in the other direction. She could feel Suyin begin to wane, to bend and give, and to know she could cause that made her feel somewhat ill. And she knew they needed space now even more than before. This had to be figured out. They had to learn to communicate and trust each other, otherwise they would just destroy each other.

"I have to have space, Su." Kuvira stepped away from Suyin's distracting hands, feeling their loss like a sting. "I have to think about this, and you should, too."

"Please, Kuvira, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to upset you-"

"It's more than that," Kuvira said, hating that Suyin's pleading eyes had her resolve fracturing before it could even be solidified. With a deep breath, she tried to ground herself. "I spent this afternoon with Huan. And it was…nice. Almost normal. It was something I never thought I would have again. What happened to…to my relationships with your children if we do this? What do I lost t be with you? I have to decide if I'm willing to risk all of that. What if they find out and hate me? What if they hate you? Am I going to be destined to hide the fact that we're together?"

"They don't…" Suyin looked down at the floor, guilt evident on her face. "They don't know about the true nature of my marriage. I didn't even…" She wrapped her arms around herself, sagging. "I didn't even think about how this could all affect your relationships with them. My other lovers…they weren't ever involved with the children's lives. But you are. You're family already….Why is this so complicated? I love you and you have feelings for me. It should be enough."

"But it's not enough. Not on its own." She swallowed, because really, all of this with Suyin was harder than conquering the Earth Kingdom had ever been. Compared to this, taking province after province had been child's play. And she had been barely older than a child herself. Young and idealistic. Stupid and naïve. But not now. Any naivety had been stripped from her long ago, and she had no illusions of a perfect fairytale romance with Suyin Beifong. If anything, she thought they were more likely to be a dark tragedy, anguish that overpowered any chance of happiness before the story could even take off.

But then…perhaps she was being too pessimistic. Because Suyin closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and when she opened them again, they held steely resolve.

"You're right. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy. I've been selfish. I need to take a step back and fully consider the best way for you and for this family." She nodded, more to herself than she Kuvira. "And I will not again make any kind of decision regarding this relationship, whatever it may be, without you. I truly did not mean to go behind your back. But I realize now that I was wrong. You should have been included."

"I will…think about their offer. But, Su, I'm not sure if that's what I want." Kuvira crossed her arms over her chest, and tried to seem confident. "I love Kaori." She smiled at Suyin's surprised gasp. "I know. I never expected to, but I do. I love her, and I don't know if I want to move away from her, even if it is just somewhere else in the city. I don't want her to think that I'm leaving her."

"I understand. Of course. She would see it that way, and there would be no way of explaining to her why we're doing this."

"And then there's Huan," Kuvira reminded her. "He's going to want to know why I'm not here anymore. And he will be harder to convince than Kaori. He already understands how…close we are."

Suyin's brows snapped together. "Did he say something to you? Does he know?"

"No. Not the full extent of things. Just that…Well, he understands that your feelings about me are…intense." Kuvira was unsure herself just how much he knew, or how much he had picked up on. "I don't think it would take much for him to figure it out." She paused. "How would he react?"

"Huan?" Suyin thought on it for a moment, her fingers dancing over her lips, and Kuvira had a flash of desire that begged her to forget her reservations and just fucking kiss Suyin right there and damn the consequences. Thankfully, the impulse passes as quickly as it had come, and she was able to concentrate of Suyin's next words. "Honestly, I have no idea. I think that at the core of it, he just wants everyone to be happy after so many years of familial discourse. But I don't know if that would be….acceptable to him."

"Opal is never going to forgive me," Kuvira said quietly. "She'll hate me even more, and she'll hate you, too. It will look like a betrayal to her."

"Opal is still hurt about all of that. I think she considered you a sister even…" Suyin swallowed. "Even when I did not think of you as a daughter. Even when you were clearly not part of the family, not in that way, at least. She was never pleased about you and Jr."

"Neither were you."

"Yes, well." Suyin shifted uncomfortably. "Spirits, Kuvira, you were engaged to my son. I don't like to think about that. It makes this all seem very…"

"Seedy."

"Yes." Emphatically shaking her head, Suyin tentatively stepped back into Kuvira's personal space. "And I never want to feel that way about this. About you. Because loving you is a good thing. You and Jr. never should have been together in the first place."

Sudden annoyance flashed through Kuvira. "You don't get to say that." Her voice was startlingly harsh. "I loved him. Maybe not the way someone is supposed to love their fiancé, but you don't get to downplay that. He was there for me when you weren't. He supported me when you didn't. He helped me when you stood by and did nothing."

"Kuvira-"

"Maybe you're right, and we never should have been together, but that's not your judgement to make." She did not really know where all her anger was coming from. She had thought she had buried all of that long ago, but here it was, bubbling to the surface again. And at the worst time. "He loved me. Do you even understand how that felt for me? After years of looking at your family from the sidelines, not knowing how to really be part of it, here he came, offering me a place there. He was devoted, as devoted as his father is to you. And I craved that kind of love, Su. And what was more, he wanted to help our people as much as I did. You've never been abandoned. You don't know what it's like. But I do. I know what it's like to not know if you've found your permanent home. To wonder every day if you're going to be left again. I know what it is to need stability. I don't have the luxury of enjoying spontaneity the way you do. And I knew our people needed that. I didn't want to do it myself, but you were going to do nothing while the Earth Kingdom burned. You abandoned them, Suyin. You wouldn't help. But Baatar would. Oh, and he hates being called Jr."

By the end of her tirade, she was breathing heavily, shaking, unable to stop the words tumbling from her mouth. Suyin watched her with wide eyes, speechless. These accusations were ones she had heard before, back in their tense prison visits. But not in a while. Not in years.

Before Suyin could recover, no doubt to launch into her own vicious attack, Kuvira strode briskly to the door. "Tell Kya I'll be happy to move in with them." Kaori would survive. She had gotten over the loss of her parents. The loss of Kuvira would be nothing compared to that. Children were resilient. Didn't Kuvira know that from experience? She had survived so much before she was even a teenager. She had lost a family. And yet, Suyin Beifong was the one who could always hurt her most. More than her parents, more than Baatar Jr., more than anyone. She wondered if she was the same for Suyin. If they had such capacity to hurt each other, then perhaps no amount of …love would fix it.

She was so lost in thought that she ran into Baatar outside his office. She had not even realized that was where she was going. He caught her as she stumbled, eyes widening as he saw her face.

"Kuvira! Are you all right? What happened?"

She stared at him for a moment, her anger at Suyin spilling over to him.

"Did you know?" she asked, voice strained.

He looked confused. "Know what?"

"Su…Chief Beifong and Kya are moving here."

"I knew they were thinking about it, yes. To be closer to Su." He kept a hand on her arm as he helped her straighten up.

"Su wants me to move in with them. To transfer-" She almost said 'transfer ownership.' That's what it felt like to her, at least. "Transfer supervision to Chief Beifong. Did you know?"

Baatar's mouth dropped open slightly. "I…no. I didn't know they were…Su mentioned it could be a possibility, but she said she was going to talk to you before anything happened. That she was just checking out if it was possible before worrying you about it."

Kuvira bit her lip, thinking back on the conversation, and she wilted. "She did ask. Spirits, she said she just wanted me to have options, and I jumped down her throat." Groaning, she leaned forward, resting her head against Baatar's chest without thinking. "I just flipped out on her, and oh, Spirits, Baatar. I said some horrible things. She was just trying to make things easier, and I just…" Her words trailed off, and she felt the strength leave her. "I don't know why I'm so upset. I don't know why I got so angry. I feel so…so mixed up. I don't even…I don't know who I am anymore. I keep saying or doing things that don't feel like me. She was just trying to help."

"Kuvira," he said, his voice low and soothing. "You've been through a lot of changed in the last couple of months. Good changes, yes. But changes all the same. And now with the added stress of…well, of Su…It's a lot to deal with, and it's only natural for you to have this turmoil." He carefully wrapped his arms around her. "I don't want you to worry about this anymore. I'll tell Su to drop it for now. You've had too many changes lately. You need stability. Everything else will fall into place later."

"I already told her I would move in with Kya and Chief Beifong." She lifted a hand to cover her face. "I kind of yelled it at her then stormed out."

"It will be all right. She'll understand you spoke rashly." Kuvira felt him curl over her, and his lips pressed against her hair. They both froze for a moment before he pulled back, dropping his arms from around her. "I'm sorry. That was…I didn't think-"

"It's…It's fine," Kuvira assured him. And it was. It felt right and natural. Safe. She always felt so safe with him. He was calm and steady where Suyin was a whirlwind of passion. They were a balance, and Kuvira wondered if maybe she needed them both. Maybe the problem was that she was trying to deal with Suyin alone. Maybe that couldn't work. They were too similar, too intense. And Baatar was a calming force for them both. There was not a spark of desire for him like there was for Suyin. No visions of kissing him. But she knew she was slowly building a relationship with him. What kind of relationship, she was not yet sure.

"Su loves you very much," Baatar told her, letting his hand rest on her neck. "But she's not the only one who cares for you and wants you to be happy. I do, too. If you want it, I can back you up and make her understand what you need."

"I just…I just need her to stop for now. The thing with Kya and Chief Beifong…that's fine, now that I've thought about it. I do appreciate her trying to give me options. I mean, I was the one to say it had to happen before I would even consider trying this." Kuvira laid her hand over his. "But now, I need things to slow down. I'm not ready to take the next step. I need to…to…"

"You need to feel secure first."

"Yes. I just…Like you said, I've had too many changes recently."

"I will support whatever you decide."

"Kuvira?" Suyin stood down the hall, apprehension radiating off her. "I was looking for you. I thought you might have gone to your room, but you weren't there."

"I wasn't really thinking about where I was going."

"I see." She looked between Kuvira and Baatar. "Kuvira, I'm sorry that…that you've been holding on to all that resentment and that I didn't realize it. I wish I'd known. We could have talked about it."

Tentatively, Kuvira reached out her hand for Suyin to take. "I didn't even know I was still feeling that. I didn't mean to say those things to you. You just…you caught me off guard. I suppose I was feeling insecure."

"Su," Baatar cut in, "I think it would be best if there were no more changes for Kuvira for a while."

"She's already said she wants to go."

"I…only said that because I was upset," Kuvira muttered. "I don't want to go. Not yet, at least."

"No one is going to make you go anywhere if you don't want to." Suyin squeezed her hand. "I never meant for you to feel like that was happening."

"I know."

"I just want this to work."

"I do, too. I just need it to be slower."

Suyin pulled Kuvira to her, holding her close. "I can do that. I will do that. I love you, and I'm just…trying my best."

Baatar came to lay a hand on each of their shoulder. "We're all trying our best. This is a hard situation, but we can get through this. Together."

Kuvira hoped desperately that he was right. She did not want to think about what losing Suyin would do to her. As slow as she said she wanted to go, her heart was already a million miles ahead of her. It did not understand logic or self-preservation or age differences or husband. It just knew what it wanted. And it wanted Suyin Beifong. More than it had ever wanted anything.

Kuvira just prayed that it would not end up destroying her in the process.