AN: this chapter is probably crap. I feel awful about it, but I kind of lost direction halfway through, I think? Anyway, I'm hoping it's not too bad. Un beta'd as usual, sorry for that, too, but I'm too impatient to wait for a beta to read through it lol oops.

there is definitely some sexual action going on here, but nothing too bad, just some groping. lots of Kuvira being down on herself, though.

Her ankle twisted under her, and she jumped back, away from the shifting earth. To her left, Lin shoved a boulder at her, and Kuvira redirected it to Suyin. The older woman was ready, and the boulder split into a dozen pieces around her. Kuvira centered herself again and flipped up the metal plates that were embedded in the ground in the practice yard. Spreading her arms wide, she sent two flying at each of her opponents. Suyin artfully sidestepped hers, and Lin closed her fists, crumpling the metal as easily as if it was paper.

"Lin!" Suyin shouted. "You're fixing those!"

"Easy," Lin called back. She flicked her wrists and the sheets flattened themselves back out. And without warning, she sent them to Kuvira, so fast that Kuvira barely had time to react. She threw up her hands, sliding across the dirt as the momentum carried her. The new of their daily sparring had travelled, and today, there was a large crowd watching them, much to Kuvira's displeasure. It was one thing for Suyin and Lin to beat her silly with no audience, but it was quite another to have the entire security force witness her humiliation. Even worse, Kaori was there, cheering her on.

She closed her arms together, snapping the plates into a shield as Suyin rained a barrage of stones over her. While she was busy, Lin slung metal cables around her ankles, pulling her down. Kuvira hit the ground hard, coughing as the air was knocked from her lungs. She lost her concentration and the metal plates fell around her.

"We win," Lin said from somewhere above her. Kuvira blinked, trying to clear her vision from the spots that were swimming before her eyes. Suyin leaned down, placing a cool hand on her face.

"Are you all right?" She sounded worried, and Kuvira tried to roll over on her side, gasping for air as her lungs shuddered and refused to inflate. "Easy, easy."

Kuvira grabbed at Suyin's sleeve, dragging herself into a sitting position. "I'm…fine." She leaned over, trying to hide her embarrassment. She could practically feel the pity and disgust from the watching guards. Many of them had seen her fight back in the day, and the ones who hadn't were more than likely familiar with stories and legends of her prowess. Stubbornly, she tried to pull herself up, shaking off Suyin's attempts to help her.

"Take it easy, Kuvira. That was a hard hit." Suyin's concern highlighted to Kuvira just how fragile everyone saw her as.

"I'm fine. I've had a lot worse." She stood, still shaky on her feet, and pushed off Suyin. "Let's go again."

"Kuvira…I don't think that's a good idea."

"I'm ready. Let's go." She glanced at the crowd, determined to save some face. Maybe she could earn their respect by not giving up. Even if she was beaten, she would show them she was no coward. No quitter. "I was just warming up." She let the bravado creep into her voice, let the swagger back into her hips. She bounced from foot to foot, shaking herself loose.

Reluctantly, Suyin back away, glancing at Lin. The older Beifong shrugged.

"If she wants a beating, who are we to stop her?" Lin cracked her knuckles and dropped into her bending form. Suyin's eyebrows tipped in concern, but she followed suit.

Kuvira decided that instead of trying to save her energy for a long fight, she would go all out, as hard as she could until her body gave out. She barely gave her opponent time to get set before she flung metal strips at each of them, aiming for their eyes. They both could 'see' through their feet, but only with a lot of effort. Just to be safe, she followed up with two more strips for each sister. Lin diverted both of them, but Suyin was distracted by her concern over Kuvira and missed the second piece of metal. It wrapped around her eyes, giving Kuvira time to knock her off balance. She slammed her foot against the ground, sending up a column under Suyin's feet, simultaneously sweeping her hands towards Lin, keeping her busy with the metal plates. She spun, barely missing the rock Lin sent her way, and called to the metal in the meteorites lining the outside of the yard.

Trying to remember what it felt like to be in complete control, to have complete confidence in her abilities, Kuvira split the meteorites, hurling half at Lin and half at Suyin, the latter of whom had removed the metal over her eyes. She finally felt like she was getting the upper hand, like she was gaining some solid footing. She felt like she could maybe hold her own against-

Kuvira blinked slowly, clearing the blackness from her sight. For a moment, she was incredibly disoriented, wondering why the sky looked like the ceiling of the hospital ward, and why her head was throbbing so hard.

Groaning, she tried to sit up, but a hand pushed her back down.

"Not so fast," Kya said. "You have a mild concussion. You've been out for about a half hour."

"What happened? I was winning, and then….I'm here." She reached up to touch her head and found it wrapped in gauze. Pain flared under her fingers, and she sucked in a hissing breath.

"Lin happened," Kya said, apologetically. "Caught you right in the head with the corner of a big sheet of metal. It's lucky you weren't hurt worse. I'm going to help you sit up now. Nice and slow." She reached under Kuvira's shoulder, and helped her into a sitting position. "Now, the concussion should heal in about a week. I'm afraid there was also a rather nasty cut. I've closed the wound, but to do so without any hair getting in the way, I did have to shave some of it away."

Kuvira sighed. She wasn't vain, not really, but she liked her hair long. She always feared that having it short would make her look too masculine. "How much?"

"The cut was long. Most of the left side actually. Huan has some ideas how to make it look better once the bandages come off. Shouldn't be more than a few days." Kya picked up a mirror from the side table and handed it to Kuvira. It had been years and years since she'd had her hair so short. Back when she first went to prison and it was easier to keep. Even then, it had been just above shoulder length. Never had she shaved any of it.

It was hard to tell what it looked like under the bandage, but Kuvira already knew it would need a lot of work to look even half-way decent.

"I can't believe this," she muttered.

"It's not that bad," Kya said. "If you wanted to cut it short, it will all even out in a few months. Besides, undercuts in style among certain groups of the population."

Kuvira shook her head, closing her eyes as her vision spun. She would have to refrain from doing that for a while. "It's not the hair. I don't really care about that." She rubbed her hands over her eyes. "There was a whole group of them there. Dozens of people watching me completely fail. It was so…." Teeth clenched in frustration, she sighed, the air pushed through her teeth. "So fucking embarrassing."

Kya raised her brows at the rare profanity. "You took on two of the best metal benders in the world. Losing is nothing to be embarrassed about."

"If I had been kept on track, I should have surpassed them both by now. That's not my ego talking, Kya. That's fact. At twenty-seven, I almost beat Suyin. Would have if Toph hadn't shown up. With ten more years' experience, I should be unstoppable in a one on one fight. Or a two on one." She gave a bitter laugh. "And now…I've worked so hard. I've eaten everything I could to build muscle. I do pushups and crunches and pull-ups every day. I spar with Lin and Su, and still I'm weak. I would rather not be able to bend at all than be so…mediocre."

"You don't mean that, Kuvira." Kya's eyes were full of compassion, but Kuvira feared there was also pity there.

"I do. I mean it. I suppose it just fits with the rest of how my life has gone. No matter how hard I try, it's all going to shit anyway. I can't do anything right. I don't know why I even try." She took a deep, shuddering breath, and pressed her palms to her eyes as she began to cry. Kya attempted to put a hand to her shoulder, but Kuvira shrugged it off. "I'm so tired of….of feeling like this. I can't …protect myself. I can't fight …anymore. Everything about me is… so…fuckin delicate. Even my spirits…. damned stomach... I have nightmares and ….panic attacks and I can't even…. have sex with the woman…. I love. I don't know who…. the hell… I am anymore." She gulped in huge breaths between sobs. "I don't…know what…I'm doing. Everything….is so hard."

Kya gently laid her hand on Kuvira's blanket covered knee. "I know it's not what you want to hear, but you just haven't had enough time yet. It's just been a few months. Not even six. And you have made progress. So much progress. Maybe not as much as you would like, but frankly, Kuvira, your expectations for yourself are unrealistic. Everything you've gone through…it's not just going to disappear now that you're out. You know that."

Kuvira sniffed, running the back of her hand across her nose. "I just…want to feel strong again. And I don't know how to…to do that. Not without…without going all the way back. I don't…" She turned her eyes to the ceiling, unable to look at Kya. She did not think she would be able to take the soft, all too understanding eyes. "I've never been good at middle ground. It's…all or nothing."

"If you just keep working as hard as you right now, you're going to be fine." Kya squeezed her knee. "You are going to get stronger. And your bending will improve. Your nightmares are already less, and when is the last time you had a panic attack."

"It's been…" Kuvira thought back, frowning. "Several weeks, I suppose."

"You made the move to our place without one. And the situation with the Uniters? You handled that so well." Kya gave her a smile when Kuvira finally looked at her. "Let yourself have that progress. Don't look at how far you still want to go without acknowledging how far you've already come. Today was hard. But, Kuvira, you're not weak. You never have been."

Kuvira turned her head away, looking out the window. "Where's Su?"

"Probably still fighting with Lin."

"Fighting?"

"Oh yes. She was absolutely livid that Lin hurt you. It was quite something. The head healer threw her out of the hospital ward because she was causing too much of a scene." Kya sounded more impressed than anything else. "I assume she took their argument outside."

"That's just fantastic," Kuvira grumbled. "I keep causing fights between them."

"Now, you shouldn't flatter yourself. Lin and Su can only be civil for so long before they will find something to fight about." Kya looked at her pointedly. "They were fighting long before you were in the picture, and they're not going to stop. Ever. They'll still be fighting in the spirit world, if they end up there. That's just how they are. It's the only way they know how to interact. Toph was a great bender, but she was lacking as a parent."

"That, I can believe." Kuvira had seen some of Toph's parenting tips and techniques up close, and it was a wonder to her that Lin and Suyin had turned out as well as they had.

"Now that you're awake, they might let her back in. Do you want me to check?"

"Um…" Kuvira thought over it, wondering if she really was ready to see Suyin. She still felt so frustrated, so angry at her failed sparring abilities, and she knew that Suyin would try to convince her that she had nothing to be embarrassed about. But on the other hand, she kind of really wanted someone to sit on the bed with her and hold her. Someone who she could let down her walls with. "Yes. I'd like to see her."

"All right. I'll be back. I'm going to ask a nurse to stay with you. Now that you're conscious, you really should stay awake for a while."

"That's fine." She watched Kya go, and gave a polite greeting to the woman who replaced her. They waited quietly until Suyin stormed into the room.

"Kuvira!" She knelt next to the bed, worry etched into every line of her face. "I'm so sorry. Lin was way out of line. She never should have taken that shot at you. You could have been even more seriously hurt."

"I should have been able to stop her," Kuvira complained. "I'm so…I can't do anything I used to be able to do, and I hate it."

"I shouldn't have let us go that last round. Kuvira, I know you're frustrated, but you have to take care of yourself." Suyin took her hand between her own. "I want you to feel good about your bending again, but not if you're pushing yourself too far."

Kuvira jerked her hand away. "I can never show my face again in front of all those people. I can only imagine what they're saying about me. The Great Uniter. Couldn't even last two minutes."

"No one is saying that," Suyin insisted, but Kuvira knew she was lying.

"Very few of them like me enough to protect my feelings," she snorted. "I wish I didn't care."

"What can I do?" Suyin asked, straining to keep from touching Kuvira.

"I don't know." She looked down at her lap, her hands resting on her thighs. "I feel like…Things with you are going so well. I…I'm happy about that." She glanced at Suyin, smiling softly. "I love you, and I don't want you to think that my frustration has anything to do with us."

Suyin did not say anything, just nodded and scooted her chair closer.

"I just…I can feel myself getting stronger, but my bending still isn't improving."

"It is improving, Kuvira," Suyin insisted. "You don't see it because you are only looking at how far you still have to go."

"What if I never get there?"

Suyin pressed her lips together, taking a moment to think about what she wanted to say. "I think…that might be a possibility you have to work on accepting. I'm not saying it's a certainty, but…there's no guarantee that you will be able to get back to where you were ten years ago."

"That's not what I want to hear."

"I know." Suyin's throat worked as she swallowed, her face full of compassion. "I hate that this is so hard for you. I wish I could make it better."

Kuvira sighed, lying back against her pillows. The room had started spinning, and she was having trouble concentrating.

"Kuvira?"

"I'm all right. Just a bit dizzy."

"Kya said to expect that, but I should get her just in case." Suyin got up, but Kuvira held out her hand.

"Please stay."

"Someone really should check on you," Suyin said, but she sat back down.

"You're checking on me right now."

"I mean a healer."

"I probably won't be able to train for a while," Kuvira said, abruptly changing the subject. "I keep hitting these roadblocks. First I can't train because I'm recovering from the Uniters' attack, and now this."

"There's not a time frame," Suyin said. "Unless you're getting ready for some pro bending tournament I don't know about."

Kuvira didn't smile. "I want to feel like myself again. But I don't, at the same time. I don't want to get back all that arrogance and callousness, but I do want to feel like I can hold my own. I want to be…good at something again. I just feel so…" She trailed off, her thoughts going fuzzy.

Suyin touched her face, bringing Kuvira's attention back to her. "You feel so what?"

Kuvira frowned, blinking. "I…don't remember what I was going to say."

"I should get Kya. See if this is normal. I'll be right back." She left, and Kuvira felt herself growing sleepy. She knew she probably shouldn't sleep until Kya gave her the okay, but her eyelids just felt so heavy, and she was so tired.

"No no," Kya's voice called, jerking Kuvira back awake. "Not yet. You haven't been cleared yet. Su, you weren't supposed to leave her alone."

"I thought just a few minutes would be fine," Suyin huffed from the other side of Kuvira's bed.

"Well, clearly, she can't come home tonight. Kuvira, you'll have to stay here. Just for observation." Kya was looking down at her, and Kuvira nodded.

"I'll stay with you," Suyin said quickly.

"You need to sleep, too," Kuvira argued. "I'll be fine with just the nurses."

"No." Suyin shook her head, face set in determination. There was no arguing with her when she was like this. "I'm staying."

"At least let Baatar take turns with you so you can get some sleep," she negotiated. "I don't think I'll be much company, anyway."

"Are you sure it's all right for Baatar to be here?" Suyin's apprehension was quite evident. "He wanted to come wait with you after someone kicked me out, but we weren't sure if that would be all right with you."

"I'm sure."

"Now that that's settled," Kya said, "I should go over some instruction for how you should take the next few weeks, Kuvira. The concussion itself will be healed in a few days, but you may experience symptoms for several weeks. Even months in some cases."

"When can I start training again?"

"When I say so." Kya gave her a stern look. "And not before. No bending until all your symptoms are gone, so we'll just have to take it one day at a time. In a week or so, you can start light exercise, but only under my supervision."

There were more stipulations, more rules she had to adhere to, but Kuvira had a hard time concentrating on everything she said. Luckily, Kya wrote it all down, and since Kuvira did live with her, she figured that not paying attention wouldn't be the end of the world.

After giving Kuvira another examination, Kya said she was cleared to sleep, but only for two hours at a time. Someone would have to stay with her and wake her up at the appropriate times. It would be a long night, and Kuvira was not looking forward to the lack of rest.

Suyin was the one who sat with her most of the night, with Baatar sleeping in another chair, but around two in the morning, Baatar was the one to wake her.

"Hey," he said, giving her a soft smile. Suyin was curled up in a very uncomfortable looking chair next to him, and Kuvira couldn't help but love her in that moment. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. But not as disoriented, I think."

"That's good." He put down the book he had been reading. "I made Su go to sleep about an hour ago."

"That must have been difficult," Kuvira said with a smile. She could imagine just how much of a protest Suyin would have put up.

"It certainly wasn't easy." He leaned forward. "Kuvira, I'm worried about you."

"Baatar, please….Su's already talked to me."

Baatar, though, looked at her with more understanding that Suyin ever had on this subject. "I know what it's like to feel weak. Like you can't do anything on your own. To look at benders and think, if only I was like that." He sighed heavily, taking her hand. "I'm always on the sideline, never able to protect my family. I know Su can take care of herself, but I feel like it all falls on her shoulders. And that's the worst feeling in the world. I can't protect them. And I'll never be able to just work up to it."

"Are you telling me to be thankful for what I have?"

"No. I think you should be, but I know it's not that simple." He gingerly brought her knuckles to his lips. Kuvira watched him, letting it happen. "I can see how hard this is for you, and I wish more than anything that I could make it easier. But I do wish you would take a step back and realize that just because you're not who you were doesn't mean that you're not as…as good. I'm not sure exactly what you're feeling, but I know that you're hurting."

"I'm just so…mixed up," Kuvira settled on. "I hate feeling like I'm just…average. Insignificant. But I also know that I have to be nothing. I can't be someone. I can't have that attention and praise. It will…I don't handle it well."

"But you still want it."

"Yes."

"Kuvira, I think it's only natural to want that sort of recognition. Especially…well, especially considering your childhood." His fingers tightened around hers. "The need to be the best, to get that attention is nothing to be ashamed of. I know it's more complicated because of what happened, but I think that wanting to work towards regaining your former bending abilities is…" He sighed, searching for words. "I understand why you want this so badly."

"Su said I should start accepting the fact that I may never get there."

"That would not be unwise."

"I just…my bending has been my defining characteristic my entire life," Kuvira said. "It's why Su gave me attention before. It's how I got on the security force, how I became a Captain. It's why I was able to even become the Great Uniter. Without it…I'm not …I'm lost."

"Oh, Kuvira." He shook his head, lips parted in what could only be described as despair. "That's not why Su gave you attention. Your bending had nothing to do with her wanting to teach you. Your talent was just a bonus, a happy surprise. She wanted you to feel like you belonged. We both did. And that was the only way we knew how. I'm so sorry that you've thought otherwise this whole time. Your value to us has nothing at all to do with your bending."

She looked away, feeling her throat close and her chest ache. "I've felt, my whole life, like I had to be perfect, otherwise…everyone always leaves me. It's always there, in the back of my mind, that I could be abandoned again just like that."

"No one expects you to be perfect, Kuvira."

"I do. I expect me to be perfect. And it doesn't matter if you say you don't expect it." She blew out a sigh through her nose. "It doesn't change the fact that I've always felt this pressure. I was never a real part of the family, I never felt like I had this place where I could always be welcomed even if I wasn't an accomplished bender. The moment I stepped out on my own, Su…"She closed her eyes. "Even if I've forgiven her for that, even if we've moved past what happened, it doesn't just erase these feelings."

"I…I don't know how to this better."

"I don't think you can," Kuvira said. "Not right now, at least. It's not something that will just change just because I want it to."

"What do you want me to do?"

Closing her eyes, she swallowed. "Just…let me have my frustration? I know…I've been told enough that I'm doing well, that I'm progressing. But sometimes I just feel like I'm in some sort of limbo. Just drifting."

"Can I…can I hold you?" Baatar was already leaning forward, and Kuvira gave him a small nod. He eased himself onto the small bed, and Kuvira gave him room. She leaned into him as his arms wrapped around her. "You are loved, Kuvira. No matter what. You are not going to be abandoned. Not again."

She must have fallen asleep that way, and when she woke again, Baatar was still on the bed with her. He had changed position so that he was stretched out beside her, and arm around her shoulders still. He was back to reading his book, and Kuvira did not want to disturb him. Her body, though, protested.

"Baatar?" she said, voice raspy from sleep.

"Oh, you're awake." He looked down at her with a smile. "You still have a half hour before I was going to wake you."

"I um…" She flushed. "I need to use the restroom."

His eyes widened. "Oh! Well, I assume you can go…um on your own? Or, I can wake Su? Or a nurse!"

"I can make it," Kuvira said, amused. "Just help me up."

She did go back to sleep after relieving her bladder, and Baatar reclaimed his chair. This pattern continued throughout the night, and into the next day. Slowly, Kuvira felt able to stay awake for longer, with some additional healing from Kya. She was released and put on mostly bedrest at home. Which lasted an agonizing week. Kya stayed home with her mostly, but when she did need to go out, Suyin took her place. And Suyin came over almost every day just to spend time with her. Lin apologized for causing all of this, and Kuvira had to swallow her bitterness, admitting that she should have known her own limits. It hurt to say, and she was still committed to pushing herself as hard as she could. Just maybe not so hard that she got hurt along the way.

Huan helped her with her hair. They decided to cut a few inches off the remaining locks. He carefully cleaned up the shaved area, leaving her with an undercut much likes his own. She was not sure how she felt about it, but there was not really much to do. It would take months for it to grow out to an acceptable length. Suyin, however, told her she looked amazing. And she said it with big, wide eyes that made Kuvira believe her.

The second week, Kya let her start doing some light exercises, and Suyin still come over to visit, even though Kuvira was allowed to spend a couple of hours at the Beifong compound every day to visit Kaori. The entire household was gearing up for Huan's upcoming wedding, and Kuvira wanted to be well enough to help with the preparations. Huan had been kind to her, and his fiancé was a really lovely man. She was honored that they had asked her to be a part of their big day. Of course, there was the issue of Jr. but Huan promised her it would be taken care of.

The third week after her concussion, Kuvira was sitting in her room, reading a book on combining bending forms that Avatar Aang had written when Kya knocked on the door.

"Su is here to see you."

"Oh, of course, come in!" She was somewhat confused, because earlier, Suyin hadn't mentioned coming over, and she hoped nothing was wrong. Kya opened the door, and Suyin slipped in.

"I'll just leave you two alone," Kya said with a mischievous wink that had Kuvira blushing.

"What's going on, Su?"

"Nothing," Suyin said, and her voice was earnest. "I just…missed you."

"You saw me just three hours ago."

"I'm used to spending all day with you. Not a couple of hours." Suyin sat on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. A lot better. Almost no symptoms anymore. I am good to go on training in a week, she said. Just to be safe." She leaned forward, and Suyin met her half way, kissing her gently. "I've been so bored. I'm ready to get back to work."

"I have a few projects lined up for you when you're ready." Suyin scooted over the bed so that she was pressed up next to Kuvira. She circled an arm around Kuvira's waist, pulling them flush together, dipping her head to kiss Kuvira's neck.

"Kya's here," Kuvira reminded her, letting her eyes close.

"Kya is downstairs talking to the doorman," Suyin said, nibbling at Kuvira's skin. "I felt her leave."

Kuvira turned her head to capture Suyin's lips again. Three weeks of limited activity had really given her a lot of pent up energy, and she felt herself shifting so that she was straddling Suyin on the bed, angling her head down to kiss the older woman. Suyin's hands settled on her hips, one trailing down to grab her ass. She groaned, her chest arching into Suyin.

"Spirits," she moaned as she broke away to take a breath. As her head tilted back, Suyin kissed down her neck, biting and sucking as she went. It felt so good, and Kuvira vaguely thought about how they should stop. How Kya would be coming back soon, how their first time definitely did not need to be under these circumstances, how she really wasn't physically up to this yet. She forgot all that, though, when Suyin's hands ran up her stomach, under her shirt to cup her breasts. She gasped, her hips jerking in unexpected pleasure. "Great Sozin."

"Oh, spirits," Suyin breathed, looking at Kuvira's chest in wonderment. "You're so beautiful."

"It feels so good, Su," Kuvira said, a hand twining in Suyin's hair. She understood now why people liked having their breasts touched. She never wanted it to stop, and she whined when Suyin's hands disappeared. Confused, she looked down at the older woman to see Suyin with her eyes closed, head tilted away. "Su?"

"That's…enough."

"What?"

"I'm not going to push for more when you're not ready." Suyin opened her eyes and kissed Kuvira. "I love you, and I want to take you so badly. You're so incredibly beautiful. But this is not how this needs to happen. If we did anything else, we would both regret it later."

Kuvira leaned her head forward to rest on Suyin's shoulder. "Thank you."

"In…about a month, Baatar is going out of town to visit Wing and Wei."

"Su…"

"I know that it's maybe not the most romantic way to do this, but…if you're ready at the time, we would have privacy." Suyin gently straightened Kuvira's shirt, her fingers gently running over the skin one last time. "You don't need to give me an answer right now. You have a month to decide. And I don't want you to feel pressured about this. He's going no matter what you decide. It's just… an opportunity. And there will be other opportunities if you want to pass that one up."

"I don't know."

"I know. I really didn't come here to do this," Suyin said. "I was going to bring this up later, but it just seemed like the time. I…I know this probably does sound like I'm pushing for you to say yes, but I swear I'm not. I just don't ever want you to stress about this happening. I just know that you would feel less awkward about it if you knew Baatar was away."

"You're not wrong about that," she admitted. She was still hyper aware of her inner thighs resting on Suyin, and she carefully swung off the older woman to sit next to her on the bed. "I suppose I'll have to see how I'm feeling at the time."

"That's all I ask. I just want to know where your feelings are. And if you're not ready, then you're not ready." Suyin kissed her temple.

"Do you…um want to stay for dinner?"

"I would, but Kaori is expecting me home. I'm taking her to that water tribe place again." She rolled her eyes. "I wish Kya had never told her about it. She can't get enough."

Kuvira bit her lip to keep from laughing. "She won't stop talking about it. She keeps asking when I can go with her." Her smile dropped. "I suppose that won't be for a long time."

"We'll see. Your six month evaluation isn't that far away. I think Korra has been working hard to prove that you deserve a more lenient probation." Suyin wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Soon, you'll have more freedom. And things will be easier."

"I love you," Kuvira whispered, and Suyin kissed her again. She still felt riled up, her body desperately wanting to release all the energy and arousal it had built up. Part of her just wanted to have sex right there in her room, with Kya downstairs, consequences be damned. She knew, though, that the emotional repercussions of that would send her spiraling backwards. No matter how good Suyin's hands on her breasts had felt. "I want to be ready to have sex with you. I want it so badly. But you're right. I'm not ready. Not yet. And I appreciate that you're being so…sensitive about this."

"I would love to take you right now, but I would hate myself. I would be…" Suyin shook her head. "Anyone who pushes their partner when they know they're not ready is a horrible person. Even if it's hard, it's just the bare minimum of what I should do."

Kuvira knew she was right, but she couldn't help feeling thankful anyway. Thankful that she had never felt any judgement from Suyin over her lack of experience. Thankful that Suyin respected her choices and needs. Thankful that the person she loved was actually worth her time and effort. She knew that these were things that should be a given in a relationship, but she had heard enough talk over her life to know that this wasn't always the case. Even so, she still worried about their sexual relationship. She knew Suyin had greater needs than she did, and she just hoped that they could find a balance that worked for both of them.