Thank you so much for taking the time to read my fanfic. Reviews, comments, and thoughts are all appreciated.
World Notes: I set this pretty much in the default setting for Inquisition. The Warden sacrificed himself, Alistair is king, no dark ritual done.
This isn't true to canon, there are things I have changed to suit my whims. But I tried to stay true to the feel of the game itself. Cullen gets the girl a bit faster than in game time, I have no patience and could not drag things out further. I tried, I really tried, and I just couldn't. I have a particular fascination with the idea of an assassin. In history, in games, in books, in all types of media. When the idea for this popped in my head, I knew exactly who my main character was going to be. She is NOT the Inquisitor, I wanted something a little different.
Acknowledgements:
I realized, sometime around the birth of my 2nd girl, that I have been raised by awesome women. I wrote my characters with the women that have raised me, been there with me, and are helping me raise my girls in mind. There is a bit of me in Talise, Valissia and Amelia, but there is also much of the fierce, strong, independent, faithful and non-believing, patient and hot-tempered, crazy and stable, old and young women I have known. May we be strong women, may we know strong women, and may we raise them.
To the group of homeschoolers who I stumbled into about this time last year: Y'all are awesome. Thank you for the guidance, the support, the coffee and booze. Most of all, thank you for reminding me to do things for myself. I can not pour from an empty cup, and I needed y'all to remind me of that. Without the reminder to do things for myself, Moonlight on Water would be a story in my head.
To my beta readers: Thank you for putting up with my crazy ideas, for re-reading after I rewrote the story, for talking game and backstory and game history with me.
And finally, to my Cullen. It's been nearly 8 years since you gave me your last name. It's been 7 since you taught me that honor, duty, and sacrifice are larger than love. You are the best husband and father I could have wished for. I told you, each time you left, that I would see you on the other side of the war you were fighting. And here we are, on the other side. Love you.
Chapter 1: Gray Stone and Grief
Skyhold
The fortress was impressive during the day, but by night, with the dark gray stone covered in shadows, high in the inky darkness that surrounded snow-capped mountains, lit from within by countless torches and candles, it was even more so. Darkened skies did nothing to stem the stream of people coming in and out of the huge main gates, some seeking refuge, some seeking shelter, some seeking to join the Inquisition, some coming for their own reasons. Even as it was now, half torn down, time having pulled the stone walls apart, it struck a sense of awe into the heart.
Among the people coming in through the gates, stepped a mage. Red locks gleamed auburn in the faint light, a shimmering mass that is lifted into braids and twisted onto the back of her head, although strands have escaped their confines, and curl around her cheekbones, her skin rosy pink from the walk and altitude. At her side, stepping soundless, walked a young woman.
Dark hair, the color of chocolate warmed by faint traces of chestnut, hung loosely down her back, a few parts pulled back away from her face, revealing a finely boned face, high cheekbones, a delicate nose, and brilliant blue eyes, shifting from a light blue to a dark blue, surrounded by a heavy forest of sooty dark lashes. The pair of them brought more than their fair share of whispers and comments, as they made their way to the lists. The mage read the survivor lists while the dark-haired woman hung back, her eyes scanning the crowd with a practiced intensity, her chin lifting as she looked for exits, lingering on windows and doors, making note of every hallway and darkened corner.
"Talise?" A voice, familiar, cut through the crowd, and the woman turned, shaking away her study of the keep, and facing the blond- haired dwarf. Varric could not help the grin that split his face as the woman turned, and she found herself caught up in a hug, "Andraste's tits, I thought you were dead."
She managed a wobbly smile, but her attention is taken by the mage, turning to them, tugging on the sleeve of the long gray tunic Talise wears, "His name isn't on the survivors list. Talise, where is he?"
Varric blanched, reaching out a hand to curl around the mage's silken clad arm, "Valissia, you better come with me."
"Where is Jordan? We heard about some explosion at the Conclave, and then the breach opened, and then it was closed. And we got word that Haven had been overrun by some sort of demon army and then an avalanche came. I don't see him and why aren't you worried Talise?", nerves have the mage babbling, the words tumbling out past her trembling lips in a rush, as tears fill her eyes, making her storm gray gaze sparkle in the light, and spiking her dark lashes.
"Come with me. I'll take you to the Inquisitor, and his advisors. They can explain things." Varric sighs, bowing his head as he takes the woman with him into the Keep, stopping to ask for the Inquisitor, and then steering them gently in the direction of the war room. Within moments, the buzz of activity in the war room came to a stop, and as Varric spoke, and told them who was waiting outside.
Valissia, the redheaded mage came first, stepping into the firelight of the war room, and Christopher Trevelyan, Herald of Andraste, swayed for a moment, his movement drawing a look of surprise from Leiliana, who missed nothing. He was staring at one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen; gray eyes, too large for her features, dominated her face, pale skin dotted with freckles, and shining red hair, gleaming with fiery highlights in the fire and candlelight.
"This is Valissia Morrine, she was family friends with one of the soldiers at Haven…" Varric paused, looking back to the shadows, one gray shadow seemed to shift, and he beckoned to it with an open hand, "C'mere Talise, you need to hear this too."
When Varric had spoken to a shadow, the Commander of the Inquisition, Cullen Rutherford, had raised one tawny eyebrow, his amber gaze narrowing as he studied the shadow, wondering if Varric was either seeing things. There was no hint of movement from the shadowy spot Varric was looking at. A second later, one slow step by another, a woman stepped from the shadows, seeming made of the very shadows she had been hiding in. Cullen sucked in a breath, barely remembering to keep his features neutral and composed, even as he felt like someone had slammed their weight into his ribs, his amber gaze was locked on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
"Talise Montgomery", Varric introduced her to the group standing before her, pointing out the members of the group one by one, "Cassandra Pentaghast, Seeker, Leiliana, whose work is more delicate, and Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the military forces. And Christopher Trevelyan, Herald of Andraste."
Talise nodded at each one, her bright gaze lifting from one person to another, and despite all that was going on, despite the heaviness in the room, she wobbled for a brief second when her cerulean gaze collided with the Commander's warm amber one. One slender hand, gloved in dark gray, reached out for Valissia in an unconscious gesture, and when the Mage curled her fingers back around Talise's in support, she squeezed hard.
"They've come for news of Talise's brother, Jordan", Varric paused, looking at the floor, studying his boots as he heaved a sigh.
Christopher beckoned to a young guard nearby, "Send in some extra chairs, please, and some refreshments."
"Oh Maker… what has happened?" Valissia sniffled then, unable to keep her tears at bay any longer, and they left silvery tracks on her freckled cheeks, the emerald silk she wears turning dark as her tears fall onto her robes.
Gently, the Herald led both women through the events that surrounded the fall of Haven, asking questions of them as he spoke. Though Cullen studied both women, he found his gaze going back to Talise more and more often, the mage cried openly, sniffling back tears; but the rogue, wrapped in leather leggings of deep black, a brace of throwing knives tied around her one slim thigh, never said a word.
"So… he is dead then. Haven was taken over by some monster, and the Herald triggered an avalanche", the glass of water she held trembled slightly in her grip as Valissia spoke
Christopher nodded, taking the glass from her and setting it on the war table, before it would crash to the ground, "I am so sorry. He fought bravely. They all did."
Valissa lifted tear-filled eyes to the spot where Talise had been, but she was gone, a faint breeze blowing in her place, the young woman had disappeared into the shadows. Unable to take anymore, the mage's stormy gaze rolled up behind her lashes, and she fainted, falling forward and sliding to the ground.
It took several minutes to get Valissia up to a room, resting and asleep after a healer gave her a tonic, her red hair spread out on the pillow behind her head, downy lashes nearly brushing the tops of her smooth cheeks. In the ensuing chaos, Talise had simply vanished with a skill that was startling. Varric searched with Cullen, telling the Commander of Talise; she was Jordan's sister, she had traveled with him, when Jordan took the post of Captain of the Royal Guard to King Alistair she had frequently gone to Denerim, and that at some point in time they had run across their childhood friend, the mage sleeping upstairs. The story stopped with the explosion at the Conclave, neither the woman resting upstairs nor the one missing, had been there. Varric had feared for them both, but there had been no time to look for them or even send out letters.
"And that is all there it to tell", coming to a stop in a hallway, Varric looked up, into the rafters, "She likes high places and the shadows."
"She's is a rogue then?" Cullen tilted his head up, raking a hand through his golden blonde hair as he did so.
"Yeah, she's one of us." Varric turned a corner, coming into the courtyard where the chapel stood, and peeked into the doorway, leaning back out and motioning to the Commander, "She's in there. You're better at this part than I am."
Cullen stopped, the sound from his boots echoing even as his feet stayed were they were, his brow furrowed, "What… which part?"
"You know, the whole believing thing." Varric cast one last look at Talise, and sighed, then stepped away to let Cullen past him.
Cullen somehow found himself in the chapel, and he stared at the young woman in front of him. A long gray cloak, so dark it nearly appeared black until candlelight struck it, stretched out behind her, flowing over the steps, and he moved it gently to one side before sinking to his knees beside her.
"I can't get the words out", her head was buried her hands, her small frame bent over the steps, sparkling tears dotted the stone floor, reflecting the candlelight. Long dark hair cascaded over her face, hiding her from Cullen's view as he looked at her.
"Sometimes it happens to me too. Sometimes it feels like no one answers prayers", with a deliberate slowness, giving her plenty of time to pull away, he reached out with one gloved hand, curling it around both of hers. Her hands were slender, small, he held them both easily in one hand, and they trembled as he wrapped his gloved fingers around hers.
"My whole world has been blown apart", a ragged breath escaped her, and she choked back another sob, the tiny sound echoing in the chapel.
Something unfurled in his heart, and Cullen squeezed her hands with his one hand, "The dawn always comes. It will come again."
"I can't say the words." A soft whimper escaped her, as she dropped her forehead onto the back of his hand, where he held hers, shivers wracking her form as the tears finally came.
"I will then", he leaned closer to her, the dark circles showing around his tired eyes as they closed, and bowed his head. The words came to him, as he prayed he shifted his grip on her, her shoulders were shaking so hard she rocked back and forth as he slid an arm around them, pulling her to his side, "Though all before me is shadow. Yet shall the Maker be my guide…."
It was well past midnight when he stopped, the stone in front of them spotted with her tears, the small form at his side calm now, her tears finally gone. Gently he tugged her from her spot on the stairs, wincing as his joints protested with his movements, a grimace twisting his features when a lance of pain arced through him. With each step the pain lessened, and at the doors he nodded towards the dwarven rogue, who waited for them, wordlessly Varric took Talise's hand, and led her towards the room where Valissia rested.
Cullen watched them go, his heart aching more fiercely than it had in ages. All the death and destruction he had seen, all the war, and one woman's tears had brought him to his knees. He wanted to go after them, to take her back from Varric; to take her from Skyhold and keep her somewhere safe, his heart clenched with the notion. He stood in the doorway of the chapel, golden candlelight shining in his hair, his eyes glowing amber in the night, until long after Talise had disappeared around a corner.