Chapter 6-The Samurai

"This is literally the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life", Dipper groaned.

"This is literally the best thing you've ever done in your life and you know it", Mabel said as she slipped a piece of paper under the door of one of the recruit's rooms. The sheets of paper were covered in bright, purple glitter, reading out an invitation for the other recruits to meet the twins at the Practice Room later.

"Where did you even get all of this paper?", Dipper asked.

*One hour earlier*

Mabel sneaked up behind the agents at their workstations and quickly took their important documents while they were looking away.

*Present*

Mabel stared at Dipper awkwardly, "Found it."

Dipper rolled his eyes as he and his sister walked down the hallways, eventually going down a floor and walking around the building.

….

"Okay, so what's up with you today?", Jake asked his friend, who was busy staring up at the ceiling, smiling like an elf.

Finn looked up, "Hmm? What do ya' mean?"

"You've been smiling ever since we left the medbay and you haven't even bandaged up those scratches, bro!"

"Okay, first of all, scratches are cool. Second of all, I've...just been happy today", the boy responded defensively.

"Ah. Okay, whatever", Jake sighed, "So, Stevie, you got anything yet?"

Steven, who was sitting on his bed in deep thought, looked up from the notepad that he was writing on, "Well, so far, Phineas and I have no idea what to do. I mean, we have our own teams! How were we able to work together with everyone else?!"

Finn thought for a minute, "Well, me and the other guys just...went with the flow, trying to survive. We didn't need to talk about planning and glop!"

"Well, the Gems always had Pearl to come up with our plans", Steven nodded.

"So, basically, we need to get ourselves a Pearl", Jake agreed.

Steven blushed, surprised by what he said when he noticed something being slid under the door. The boy picked up the sheet of paper from under the door and looked it over.

It read, "Wassup, party people! It's yo' boyz, Dippingsauce and MabelGurl! You wanna party all night and discuss the multiple ways that we can protect the grand cosmos? Come to the cafeteria tonight and lets get down to understand our own individual personalities and abilities...dawgs!"

"What the heckles?", Finn asked, looking over his friend's shoulders to read it.

"SWEET! PARTY!", Jake cheered, "Time to get turnt to the max, bros!"

"Cool! This is the perfect way to get everyone together!", Steven cheered.

"Well, I guess we got plans for tonight!", Finn smiled.

….

Mabel was busy setting up trays with snacks at the table while Dipper was scribbling notes.

"Snacks, dude? Really?", Dipper asked in confusion.

"What? I wanna make everyone feel welcome!", his sister smiled.

"Whatever", Dipper groaned, "...Dude, I've been wondering...do you think I'm...helpful?"

Mabel looked up, "What? Of course you are, bro!...You help me by making me look better by comparison!"

Dipper's eyes widened in confused shock before regaining his composure, "I mean, I don't have any powers, special gadgets, I don't even know how to fix the remote control, much less build a teleporter or whatever."

"So?", Mabel asked, "Just because you're not as powerful or as smart or as strong or as fast…"

"I get the point", Dipper rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't mean that you're useless!", Mabel said, "I mean, you're still smart and you always have a backup plan! We need you for the team!"

Dipper looked over his shoulder at his sister, smiling a little but still not reassured. He hoped she was right, otherwise…

"THERE YOU ARE!"

The twins turned to see Dexter enter the cafeteria, leaves stuck to his lab coat as he walked in dramatically, "I was wondering where you were. I checked your room but you weren't there, so I figured you'd be here."

"Did you need us, Mr...Dexter?", Dipper faltered when he saw the man standing behind him.

He was a Japanese man, somewhere in his 20s or 30s, with flat, black hair and a long ponytail hanging from the back of his head. He wore a white, slightly scratched-up robe with a gleaming, silver sword at his side, sharper than any weapon that the twins have ever seen. His pale face was covered in bruises and scratches but that wasn't the frightening part about him. The frightening part about him was his gaze. He glared at the children, not with anger or frustration, but with a look of analyzation or familiarity. It was as if he knew them or as if they reminded him of someone. It was just creepy!

"So, these are the ones that you are recruiting?", the man asked, "The twins, am I correct?"

"Yes, old friend, this is Mr. Dipper Pines and Ms. Mabel Pines", Dexter responded.

Suddenly, the doors to the cafeteria bursted open as the other recruits walked through the door. Jake and Finn pushed through and slid on the floor, wearing funny glasses, blasting air horns, and throwing confetti everywhere.

"WOOOO!", Jake yelled, "PAAAARTAYYYYY!"

"PARTY TIIIIIIME! WOOOO!", Finn yelled, accidently throwing confetti at Dexter and the man.

The two warriors lost their smiles once they saw the redheaded agent glaring down at him, barely containing his rage. The white-clothed man merely grunted, brushing the confetti off of his robe.

"...Howdy!", Finn awkwardly greeted the man.

"Salutations", the man bowed.

Dexter sighed angrily, "Everyone, this is Jack, your new mentor and trainer."

"Whoa! Cool sword, dude!", Marco grinned, trying to touch it. The samurai, upon noticing the young boy, quickly pulled the weapon away.

"I would recommend that you don't touch that", Jack formally warned in a quiet, stern voice.

"Yes, sir!", Marco squeaked.

"So, mentor, huh?", Phineas asked, "What are you here to 'mentor' us on?"

"Jack here is a samurai from another universe. He has spent years in his world fighting demons and monsters and training with the greatest warriors known to man. I brought him here to help you train for this mission."

Dipper quickly looked up,"Sweet! This is perfect!" This guy fought demons and monsters just like Dipper did! Maybe he could teach him their weak points or how to wield a sword!

The samurai looked around and viewed the children, eagerly looking up at him. He thought to himself for a minute before speaking.

"Alright, then", Jack said, "Everyone to the training room."

Their smiles faded quickly.

"Oh, uh, right now?", Mabel asked, "Um, we were kind of planning to have a little R & R, right now. Try to figure out strategies first and then go right into practice."

"Really?", Dexter asked suspiciously, "Because it looked like your plan was just to party."

"What?! What gave you that idea?", Mabel giggled, before quickly kicking away the confetti on the floor and snatching the party glasses off of Jake and Finn.

"Look, we need to focus all of our efforts on this mission. Forget about distractions and concentrate on being able to fight whatever comes at you", Dexter ordered, "Now, let us get started!"

The scientist walked off to the Practice Room, the recruits groaning and following him. Jack was the last one out, watching as the kids quietly left.

….

"Okay, so, what are we supposed to be doing here now?", Dipper asked, "Anymore killer blades or fields of fire?"

The group stood in the empty Practice Room, all of them facing Jack, whose back was turned towards them.

"This is not that kind of challenge", the samurai muttered, turning to the group, "The simple goal of today is to reach the other side of the room."

Finn blinked, "Wait, that's it? Cool beans! We could do that!"

The boy quickly sprinted towards the other side of the wall when, in what felt like only a second, the stranger quickly picked up Finn and smashed him right into the ground.

"Not cool beans", Finn grunted.

"Don't worry, Finn! I'm coming right to you!", Jake yelled. He began to run over to his friend, quickly growing in size. The samurai slowly walked over and quickly ducked down, using his elbow to knock the animal down. As the dog crashed to the ground, the other recruits looked in shock and fear.

Marco's eyes widened, "...Well, ladies first!" He quickly pushed Star forward, who quickly ran at the man, Marco quickly following her.

"NARWHAL BLAST!", Star screamed, when a small portal opened in front of her wand, large, blue narwhals appearing out of nowhere and flying straight at the samurai.

Jack raised his eyes in surprise but quickly regained his composure, turning the narwhals into pixie dust in a single swipe of his sword.

Star's eyes widened, "WHAT THE FLIP-FLOP?!"

As Marco jumped onto Jack to attack him, Jack swiftly dodged, grabbed Marco's hood as he flew through the air, and threw the young boy straight at the princess. The two crashed and fell to the ground as the others quickly tried to rush Jack.

Steven tossed his shield at the samurai while at the same time, Phineas and Ferb set their guns to freeze and fired at Jack. Jack merely jumped into the air and kicked the shield, watching as it crashed into the brothers' guns, causing them to overload and blow up, freezing the brothers and the gem in a giant block of ice.

Jack analyzed the recruits stuck in the ice as he heard the sound of tip-toeing behind him. Without even looking, he threw his katana behind him, hearing it slide into the wall.

He turned to see the katana snag Dipper and Mabel's clothing, the twins hanging in the air being held up by the sword.

"...mommy", Dipper squeaked.

The samurai slowly walked over and quietly removed his sword from the wall, causing the twins to crash to the ground.

Dipper grunted, "Thank you...Also, screw you."

Jack smirked, "Now, what do you think you have done wrong?"

The recruits slowly got up, still in pain. Jake shapeshifted his hand into a giant ice-pick and, with one swift chop, broke the ice block imprisoning Phineas, Ferb, and Steven, the three falling to the ground.

Steven shivered, "Um, we got our butts kicked?"

"Well, that too", Jack smirked, slowly walking off.

"...Wait, aren't you gonna tell us what we did wrong?!", Dipper shouted out as Jack left the room. The boy yelled, "HEY! WHERE ARE YOU-?! AAARGH!"

Marco helped his friend up, "Great, two butt-kickings in one day. Still believe in that whole 'everything will work out' thing, redhead?"

Phineas brushed off the pieces of ice clinging to his body, "...Starting to rethink that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a brother to defrost." The boy quickly lifted up the frozen body of his step brother and walked out of the room.

"You know, I was expecting a day of partying and junk, not all of this ninja blarf!", Finn argued.

"Look, we're sorry for having to cancel the whole thing", Mabel apologized, "Buuut, you can still get snacks at the cafeteria!" The girl flashed her brightest smile as the warrior grunted, walking off in anger, his dog following him.

Mabel smiled, "Jerk." She began to follow them with Dipper right behind.

"Well, I'm gonna need a new pair of pants, how 'bout you?", Dipper nervously asked his sister.

"Dude, how did that guy take us down just like that?! He was all 'Ka-pow! I am the master now! Wa-pow!' It was insane!", Mabel joked.

"Do you think he can help us fight? I mean, he seems less like a grand hero and more like a creepy brooder."

"He seems cool to me!", Mabel chuckled, "He's like if Grunkle Ford was a ninja!"

"Dude, I think Ford is already a ninja", Dipper sarcastically pointed out.

….

The samurai set up his room, placing his sword besides his bed and slowly lying down. His room was small, located right next to Dexter's lab, with only a single window and small desk. It was very empty compared to the others' rooms but it was fine for him. He was about to fall asleep when he heard the door to his room open.

"So, you really are here", Kim said, "Didn't think Dexter would actually bring you for this."

Jack slowly rose up, bowing down to the agent, "Miss Possible. It is an honor to see you once more."

"Same, Jackie", Kim smiled, "How've you been?"

Jack grunted, "I've been better. It has been a while, has it not?"

"A few years now", she smiled, "So, Dex brought you here to help with the new meat?"

Jack frowned, "Yes, your recruits...Are you sure that they are up for this task?"

"Look, I know that they seem young and a bit odd, but they're good kids and they do know how to fight", she assured.

"Just not together", Jack concluded.

Kim looked away, "..Yes, but I believe that they can work together with the proper guidance."

"I cannot assure you that I can train them", Jack admitted, "I do not have much experience with training others and Dexter's methods have been questionable."

Kim giggled, "Okay, look, take my advice. Don't take Dexter's advice."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Dexter….He doesn't really understand how this works. He's a man of science and logic first and a man last. He doesn't understand that something like this takes time. You do. I know we have a deadline here and the fate of the universe and all, but...could you be a little patient with them?"

The samurai considered this. Taking time with others was what wasted years of his life. Taking time was what prevented him from defeating...him head-on. But it was taking time that made him who he was and saved his life.

"I will try. But I can not make any promises."

"Thank you", Kim smiled, "Well, see you tomorrow." She quickly walked out the door as Jack lay on his bed. He smiled a little when suddenly…

"AAAAHHHH!"

Villages toppled down by armies of millions.

"HE'S COMING! HE'S COMING!"

Blood, agony, fire.

"YOU HAVE FAILED! HELP US!"

Jack quickly snapped out of the vision, sweat beading down his forehead. He sighed. Simply another...panic. He slowly turned over and fell asleep, hoping that these things would just end.

….

*In another Earth*

The mad genius walked down his hallway, grinning with malice. The deep purple hues of his home reflected off of his face as he stopped at a small iron door. Pressing a few buttons, he unlocked it and walked right in.

He stopped once he saw the men behind the bars.

"Enjoying your stay?', he giggled.

No response.

'Oh, right, the gags. Forgot", the villain realized, "Well, no matter. What truly matters is that my satellite has been fixed and my message has been sent out. True, it may take some time for it to reach but once my people see it, they shall bask in my genius and arrive, millions of soldiers and warships following right behind them!"

He crouched to the ground, "My supply is running low on knowledge, so now...I think I shall need a replacement. Which one of you would like to volunteer?"

"MMMFFF!MMMFFF!", the hostages shouted, their screams muffled.

"Too bad!", he laughed, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go torture a guy."

The psychopath snickered menacingly as he left the room, leaving the two men in their cell.

Leaving Stan to wonder why the heck he came along with Ford on this one.

Yep, Stan and Ford are now hostages for the bad guy! This should end well!

So, Samurai Jack is now the team's mentor. C.L.U.B. has history with him which we'll see later in the story. Since Samurai Jack is coming back soon for season five, I figured it would make sense that at this point in time, he's beginning to lose hope in his mission and is suffering from PTSD.

Hope you guys like it and please review!