Disclaimer: I do not own Undertale. I do however wish it a happy anniversary.

-Chapter 7: Bone cold-

To say it was cold would be an understatement. Even wrapped up warm with my scarf and hoodie, I shivered a bit. A winter-like dense alpine forest stretched before the two of us with a neatly kept, but thin path through it.

This was all still underground? I found that a little hard to believe, but given there was a rocky ceiling high above, I had to believe it. Monsters really lived among the mountain's roots, buried and forgotten by the callous and frightened humans of old. I silently cursed those humans, wherever their souls might now be, as we set forth down the path.

I packed some of the fresh snow into an empty water bottle for later. I was glad I saved them. Being able to have some water on hand at all times was a good survival tactic for myriad reasons, even in this frigid cold.

I paused a moment, noticing a glint from a bush. Brushing some leaves aside, I found myself a bit surprised. There was a camera set up in it. Much fancier than the old video camera I found in my room and now carried with me in hopes of finding parts to fix it.

A bit more examination and it was clear it was some variety of security type camera. Very well made and with a small transmitter of sorts on it. Who ever set it up probably knew we were here already and knew that we knew they knew, so no point in trying to disable it or trying to fake not noticing.

Well, instead of senseless vandalism I decided it'd be more prudent to leave a good impression. Smile and a pair of finger guns. Wink for good measure. Frisk just waved without changing their expression an inch.

Continuing down the batch, I gently kept some sparks of red magic in one hand. It was a bit dark at the moment, and it wouldn't hurt for there to be some light to help us keep going. A loud snap resounded through the woods behind us.

Was that... the thick branch we'd both passed earlier? Unease set in. Were we being followed? I picked up my pace a little, the snow crunching underfoot. Slow and deliberate ones followed behind us.

Everything came to a head at a crevice with a wood bridge spanning it. A looong way down from the looks of it. Definitely deeper than where I first fell. I'd rather not take the short way down.

Crunch, crunch, crunch. The foot steps came to a stop behind us. I felt frozen to the spot. Were we really going to be attacked less than an hour out of the ruins? Frisk gripped my hand tightly. A voice spoke from just behind us. "Human... don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

I felt an icy tingle down my spine of dreaded anticipation. The tension was like an oppressive fog. "Turn around and shake my hand." I turned slowly, a slightly shorter figure in front of me, hand extended. It was hard to make them out in the shadows just outside the torchlight of the bridge. Two small white points where their eyes would be though.

Alright Chara. Time to put a little faith in people for once. I reached out and took their hand, horror scenarios of all sorts playing through me head. What I didn't expect was for a particularly wet and rude noise to rip through the night air, resonating for a good bit before dieing down in a high pitched squeaky whine, and soundly murdering any tension in the moment.

"Heheheh... Ol' whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's ALWAYS funny." I sat there stunned entirely. I don't know what I expected, but it sure wasn't that. The person stepped into the light, proudly showing off the miniature whoopee cushion in hand.

Oh Christ. He was a walking talking anatomy lesson. "Anyways, you're a human, right?" He said, completely ignoring me, to my annoyance and addressing Frisk instead. They nodded quietly. "That's hilarious. Name's Sans. Sans the skeleton."

And sure enough, he was a skeleton alright. A bit on the stout side with a heavy fur lined hoodie, which actually reminded me a tiny bit of my own, a white tee shirt with what I guessed where ketchup stains from the looks of it, some black pants and... fluffy white dog shaped slippers?

For being a skeleton, his face was surprisingly flexible it seemed, though he seemed to always have a shit eating grin. "I'm actually supposed to be watching out for humans right now." Sans rocked back on his heels slightly. "Buuuut... y'know. I don't really feel like capturing anybody." A grin and a wink.

"Well that's mighty convenient." I mused, not quite believing him. He just shrugged before leaning forward a bit. "My brother Papyrus on the other hand. He's a human hunting FANATIC. Heheh. Hey, I think that's him over there now that I think about it. Alright. Let's just go over the bridge... don't mind the gate thingy, he made the wood bars too wide to actually stop anyone."

With that we were rather hurriedly ushered across. "Alright, short stuff, you can hide behind that conveniently shaped lamp and..." He paused, staring at me as if suddenly realizing I existed as Frisk hid behind said oddly out of place lamp. "Aha. You, quick quick. Behind the guard post. Mind the ketchup bottles."

He swiftly ushered me along, and not too gently shoved me down under the counter top of the somewhat ramshackle guard post nearby. Sure enough the ground was littered with emptied condiment bottles. The smell of ketchup was overwhelming.

Not even a moment later rapid crunching footsteps of snow approached, at swift speed. I could only assume that was Papyrus. Another skeleton? "Sup, Bro?" Sans asked in his usual laid back baritone.

A second voice responded. It for lack of a better description, sounded like Skeletor from the He-Man cartoons trying desperately to sound gallant and erudite. " You know what 'sup,' brother! It's been eight days and still haven't..." Pause for dramatic effect... "Recalibrated. Your. PUZZLES!" Papyrus all but shrieked at his brother.

Oof. Papyrus was really laying into him it seems. "You just hang around outside your station! What are you even doing?!" Hoo boy. I got to be a fly on the wall for their sibling dispute. Joy. "Staring at this lamp. It's really cool." Sans replied. Was it possible to verbally wink? "Do you wanna look?" ... Oh son of a-

"No! I don't have time for that!" Papyrus shouted back, stomping a foot repeatedly in annoyance. Oh what the hell, Sans. Good thing Papyrus seemed far more concerned with other matters. "What if a human comes through here?! I want to be ready! I want to be the one! I must be the one! I will capture a human!"

Sans wasn't kidding about the fanaticism it seems. "Then I, the great Papyrus, will get all the things I utterly deserve! Respect... recognition... I will finally be able to join the royal guard! People will ask to be my... friend? I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning!" Woah woah woah. Royal guard? Now my interest was had.

Sans sounded like he could barely contain his laughter. "Hmm... maybe this lamp will help you. Or the guard post." Oh god damn it, Sans. "Sans! You are not helping! You lazy bones! All you do is sit and... and... BOONDOGGLE!" Wait. Was boondoggle even a word? I'd have to look that up later.

"You get lazier and lazier every day!" Papyrus shrieked. I was starting to get the feeling that yelling was just his default vocal tone by now. "Hey, take it easy. I've gotten a TON of work done today." Sans rattled off. "Sans...!" "A... Skele-TON!" An audible 'badum tsh' resounded through the air. Oh god. Bone puns. "SANS!"

"Come on, you're smiling." Huh... mom likes puns. Maybe I could spare a bit of her's. See what Sans thought of them? He seemed quite the comedian. "I am, and I hate it!" Papyrus snapped back. Papyrus gave a deep sigh. "Why does someone as great as me... have to do so much to get some recognition..."

Sans wasted no time replying. " Wow. Sounds like you're really working yourself..." Oh boy, here we go again. "Down to the bone." Badum tsh. "Ugh... I will attend to my puzzles now, thank you very much... As for your work? Put a little more... 'backbone' into it! Nyeheheheheheheheheheh!...Heh." And with that, Papyrus was off.

Well. That happened. "Ok. You two can come out now." Thank Christ, I was starting to get a bit green in the face from the cloying ketchup fumes. Stretching and popping my joints a bit, as I enjoyed the fresh cold crisp air like manna from heaven, I walked over, Frisk not far off. Poor kid seemed a bit stiff from having to stand still so long in the cold.

"Good grief, Sans... You had me going for a second there. So that's your bro, huh?" A fond look washed over his face. "Yep. Only family I got in this crazy little world. Might bust each others chops a lot but he means the world to me."

Closing his eye sockets with a sigh before opening them a gain to speak. "Say. What's your name, kid?" I rubbed my hands together a bit, eager to get back underway honestly. "It's Chara... and the kid here is Frisk. The 'scholar' to my 'knight'." Sans nodded to himself a bit. "That so, huh. Well see you around then." With that we were under way agai-

"Actually, hey... hate to bother ya but... can you do me a favor?" I whipped around, back to him. "Ya see... I was thinking. My brother's been kinda down lately. He's never actually SEEN a human before, and seeing you two might just make his day." I stared blankly at him. "Umm... but isn't he gonna try and capture us or something."

Sans chuckled to himself a bit. "Hahaha... Don't worry. Papyrus is the furthest thing from dangerous, even if he puts up a tough face sometimes. It'd really mean a lot to me." Well... I'd already went out on a limb trusting Sans twice and it'd paid off, albeit with him screwing with us a little. Why not double down, I guess?

"Sure. I guess I can give it a shot. Me and the kid have a bit of a mission though, so we probably can't stick around for too long I'm afraid. Sans gave a warm chuckle, seeming a bit brighter now. "Thanks a million, kiddo. I'll meet you both up ahead."

"Haha. Sure. Can't wait to see you again. I like your jokes a skeleTON. Hopefully you won't run BONE dry on me." Sans nearly doubled over with laughter after a moment of initial surprise. "Hahahaha... Oh man, kid. I knew I had a good feeling about you. Where'd you get that sense of humor? Really tickled my funny bone."

Ah... Toriel. I was gonna miss her already it seems. " I got it from mom. She's quite the punster herself. Hopefully she isn't too bonely. " A wink from me. "See you around, Sans." Sans wiped a teardrop from his eye, and waved. "Hahahaha... yeah. Get goin' kid. Don't wanna keep my bro waiting too long, huh?" I nodded and set off, with Frisk in tow. The kid looked back, and gave Sans a thumbs up as we went.

Soft snow fall drifted as we continued down the way. Reaching into a pocket, I pulled out my cellphone and gave Toriel a call to ward off the growing homesickness. Ring... ring... "Hey mom, how you doing? Just checking in to let you know that the kid and I are alright. You won't believe it, but we just made a friend. He likes puns almost as much as you do. A real comedian, he is." Hearing her voice filled me with determination.

MsYakumo: A spooky skeleton appears and the fandom rejoices. At least I hope they do. I know the skelebros are one of the more popular characters so I'm hoping I get them right. Alas, It saddens me that I cannot keep their fonts for this.

Things went relatively canon for this chapter, though Chara knows someone's watching them and now that someone knows they know. It seems she's gotten Sans' interest as well. I wonder how those will shake things up? Changes certainly are coming down the line. The question is just what effect the ripples will have on everything.