Lunch and dinner passed with little real excitement. We talked about the upcoming term and his parents asked about Muggle life. After dinner Sirius excused himself saying he needed to send a letter. James didn't say anything as he left, just grabbed my hand and led me back to the library quietly.
"So how am I supposed to get home?" I asked as we returned to the couch.
"I figured when you were ready to go, we could floo over to The Leaky and take the night bus back." James answered as we climbed the stairs back to the second floor of the room. "Did you want to go now?"
"I guess I should go soon. I guess we shouldn't have climbed all those stairs just to go back down." I sighed.
"Before we go say our goodnights I wanted to- I don't know, have you up here for a few more minutes." James said softly as I stepped closer to him.
"I'm glad we're finally getting to know one another." I said as I took his hand.
"I really like being your friend Lily." He said as his thumb ran slowly over my hand.
"You called me Lily." I pointed out.
"I do that sometimes. Just like sometimes you call me James. I like when you call me James." He said as his free hand began to twirl a bit of my hair.
"What triggers you to call me Lily? I call you Potter when you're being obnoxious or a git, what makes you decide to call me Lily?" I asked softly.
"I don't think you want to know." He said sadly, his eyes not meeting mine as I watched his Adam's apple twitch in his throat.
"I always want you to be honest with me James. No matter what." I said as my free hand touched his chin softly.
He nodded slowly and swallowed again before opening his mouth.
"I call you Lily when you make my heart flutter. I used to think loving you was because you were pretty and different, the only one who was unimpressed by me." He put my hand on his heart. "Now when I hear you laugh or see you smile at me, especially when you call me James, my heart gets a bit of a kickstart. You touch me so freely now; you don't mind us being close; every day I spend knowing you I want to know you more."
I wrapped both of my arms around his neck pulling him into a tight hug. I felt his arms tighten around me.
"I'm sorry James." I whispered softly in his ear.
"For what? Lils, what do you have to be sorry for?" He asked.
"I feel like I might be leading you on." I whimpered.
"Hey now, don't cry. Please don't cry. I know you're not interested in me, and you also know that I am interested in you. Would I like it if you someday changed your mind? Of course. But I don't think that you're using me for your ego or any nonsense like that. I know that whatever we're doing, trying to be friends, is hard. And it's okay for it to be hard, we flirt sometimes and make each other blush and pick and tease each other; some things are more in the danger zone than others but it's okay." He said sadly.
"You're such a good person." I whispered into his chest.
"You say that, but I don't feel like a good person when I want to kiss you when I know I shouldn't." He said with a sad chuckle.
"You can. Just this once." I said as I looked up to him.
"Just this once." He whispered softly as his nose brushed past mine. He put my hand back on his heart and pressed his lips to mine softly.
It wasn't at all what I read about, no fireworks or feeling like I was hit by lightning. I melted into his touch as his lips melded to mine, I knew right then that it wouldn't be just this once…it couldn't be. I felt safe in his arms as his lips parted and nipped at my bottom lip. I pressed my fingers deeper into his chest as I tangled my free hand in his messy hair, opening my mouth for him. He pulled me closer, kissing me deeper and deeper until I thought we would both fall into one another.
"I got carried away, I'm so sorry." He whispered as he pulled away.
"No, no. It's okay, really. I asked you to." I said as I laced my fingers through his. "We are fine James. I'm not mad that you just gave me the best snog I've ever had. It's getting late, we should go say goodnight."
After all our goodbyes were said we flooed over to The Leaky Cauldron before standing out to wait for the night bus.
"So, best snog you ever had?" he grinned.
"Oh, shut up." I said as I felt my face heat up. "I was wondering if you would like to come over for Christmas?" I asked as I shuffled my feet nervously.
"Sound an awful lot like a couple-y thing to do." James smiled.
"Yeah well, I don't know about all that just yet. But I do know that I want to spend time with you if that's okay." I said as he laced his hand in mine as the bus pulled up.
"You said just yet." He said as we sat down.
I shrugged my shoulders and watched him out of the corner of my eye.
"Yes. I'll be there. Any excuse to see you again. How should I dress?" He asked as he bumped my knee with his.
"However. We'll have breakfast at nine, we exchange gifts before noon, we'll have a light lunch and spend the afternoon sitting around the fire; Tuney will probably play the piano. My parents are having dinner with my godparents; some up to do thing I bailed out of; Tuney said she wanted to have dinner with her boyfriend. I figured I could make something, and we could watch muggle Christmas movies." I explained the agenda my sister told me about.
"It would be just us?" he asked nervously.
"It doesn't have to be. Sirius is welcome to come too." I offered.
"Pads actually decided to spend Christmas with one of his uncles. I thought he was kidding at first." He answered.
"I guess it would be then." I muttered. "You don't have to stay all day."
"I've never seen muggle Christmas films." He said as he put his hand on mine. "You'll have to show me your favorites."
"Is there anything particular you'd like for dinner?" I asked. With that simple touch, we were no longer awkward.
"Anything, so long as we have hot chocolate with the movies." He said after a moment, helping me off the bus in front of my house.
"I'll even make us dessert." I said as he walked me to the door.
"I want to kiss you again all of a sudden." He mumbled.
"One is all you were promised Potter." I said as I nudged him playfully.
"Can't blame a guy for trying. I'll see you in a few days." He smirked.
"Let me know when you get home please. I'd worry about you otherwise." I said as I stepped closer to the door.
"I'll write to you." He said as he finally let my hand go.
"I'll be waiting." I said softly before walking into my house.
I walked up the stairs lightly watched him from my window. He waved to me as he got onto the bus and shot off back to his own home.
I sat on my bed with my notebook on my lap as I opened a muggle book.
A few minutes after I got comfortable, I noticed the notebook change from a slate grey to a deep crimson and opened it to the first page. James' writing was instantly warming.
I would hate for you to worry, so I made sure to get home in one piece. -James
Git. Keep at it and I won't put marshmallows in your hot chocolate. -Lily
Whatever shall I do without Evans hand picking marshmallows for my hot chocolate. -James
You're on thin ice Potter. Maybe I'll send all your treats to Sirius instead. -Evans
Oi. What did I ever do to you woman? -James.
Besides snog you senseless in my library. -Potter
I smiled at that; I could imagine him smirking as he wrote the last line.
Don't smirk at me Potter or I won't ever let you do it again. -Evans
How did you know I was smirking? More importantly, are you implying that I had a chance to kiss you again? -James
Goodnight James. I'll see you in a few days. -Lily
Goodnight Lily. – James
By the way it's have not had. -Lily