The weather hadn't gotten any better. The sky looked completely white, as did almost everything else due to the fog. The air was cold and cutting, which encouraged me to walk at a fast pace to warm myself. This was what I needed to get any intrusive thoughts out of my head.
With every step I took, and with every one of my breaths, I felt how the caged energy inside of me would find a release. I was walking along the line of trees that traced the park's walkway, and every tree I saw passing by like a blurry shadow out of the corner of my eye made me feel like I was leaving a burden behind.
At some point, driven by fatigue, I slowed down. I began to catch my breath and give slower, shorter steps. Still, I approached the trees one by one, given the fact that the fog didn't let me see anything further than what was immediately in front of me.
That is why, when I saw Philip Hamilton sitting at the foot of the tree I was walking towards, I was truly taken aback.
He was already looking at me, and he was quick to get on his feet and bow.
"Miss Burr," he greeted me.
"Mr. Hamilton," I curtseyed. "I am glad to see you."
"Likewise," he replied, with little to no enthusiasm, and reasonably so. I couldn't even imagine what he was going through, but his face gave some indication of it. He had circles under his eyes. They also looked heavy, as if he hadn't gotten any sleep recently, which seemed like a very probable scenario.
The pause in our conversation was starting to become evident and awkward, but I truly didn't know what to say. Should I even say something? Should I pretend I didn't know? Should I just mutter a goodbye and continue my way?
In the end, the defeated expression with which his face was plastered was what compelled me to speak.
"I… I… am so sorry about what happened, Mr. Hamilton," I said sheepishly.
He didn't seem to know what to say, either.
"Thank you, Miss Burr."
"I… My thoughts are with all of you. I… don't really know what to say."
"That's alright. None of us do."
His head hung low this time. I compared the sight of him that was in front of me against the confident, enthusiastic Philip I had known so far. It was such a contrast.
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
He seemed to think. That surprised me, as I was expecting a polite no for an answer, one that wouldn't require that much thought. Ultimately, he replied:
"Could I join you in your walk?"
"Of course," I responded.
I was happy to help him in whatever way I could. However, as we took our first steps together, I began to worry about what we could talk about during our stroll.
That is, if he even wanted to talk. Perhaps he was expecting me not to say much?
Thankfully, Philip spoke soon enough, which put my thoughts to a halt.
"Miss Burr, do you remember how we would always run into each other at our father's offices?"
A nostalgic, sad smile drew itself across his face. I smiled back.
"Of course. Remember how our parents would leave us alone to entertain ourselves?"
"I do," he chuckled. "I remember we would compete to see who knew the most Latin."
"Or French!" We both said at the same time.
"If I'm correct," I claimed. "You usually defeated me in French. By a landslide."
"Maybe, but you were the undefeated champion in Latin, for what that's worth," he retorted.
"That seems like ages ago, how long has it been?"
"Around ten years, I believe."
There was silence, and Philip sighed. He seemed to have released some of the tension he had inside him, and I was glad my company was doing him well. If I could distract him for just a moment of the high amount of pain and confusion he was experiencing, that seemed like enough.
Philip turned his head to me and, once again, spoke:
"Thank you, Miss Burr. This helped me clear my mind a bit. It hadn't stopped ringing with thoughts since yesterday."
"Anytime."
"You know, I left my house early this morning. I couldn't stand being there another minute."
"You must be exhausted," I said, worried for him.
"I wish that was the only thing I was right now."
His eyes sunk once more. In order to pull him out of it, I found myself asking him the first question that came to the top of my mind.
"So, Mr. Hamilton, have you just been in the park the entire day?"
"More or less."
I nodded. "I guess I would have done the same," I replied.
"I left as early as I could so I could avoid running into my father," he proceeded to tell me, engrossed in his story. "Turns out that was completely unnecessary, as he didn't even come home last night. Apparently, he slept at his office."
"Which means, you haven't seen him since you found out?"
He shook his head.
"If I'm completely honest with you, I'm dreading that moment," he murmured.
"I can imagine," I paused. "Do you know when that would be?"
"Not really. I doubt he's exactly considered welcome in the house at the present time."
"Well, perhaps that means you'll have a couple of days until it happens, to prepare yourself for it."
"Perhaps," he echoed. "Especially if I continue to come here to disappear during the day."
We spent some time walking in silence, but one that wasn't filled with unsaid things. From time to time, people would pass by us and I would notice the way they looked at Philip, or how they would exchange whispers. Some of them were even people we were acquainted with, but still, they would limit themselves to a quick nod of the head at most.
I think Philip noticed this too. I could tell because his head hung lower every time we would walk past somebody.
The sun was beginning to set, and I knew it was my time to go home. Otherwise, my mother would worry.
As I began to say my goodbye, Philip interrupted me.
"Miss Burr, I would not like to abuse your kindness, so do say no if you consider I've stepped over a line. But, would it be too much to ask you to come again tomorrow? It's just that… you see, I'll probably be here all day. And I appreciated your company so much today."
My body froze, but my mind knew exactly how to answer.
"I wouldn't mind at all."
"Thank you, Miss Burr," he smiled with gratitude. "In the same tree where we met, is that alright?"
I nodded. "Sure. And please, call me Theodosia."
It was his turn to nod in affirmation. "Thank you again, Theodosia."
I smiled.
"I will see you tomorrow, Philip."