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Ch. 16- Optical Illusions

Jayne walked into the mess the next morning rubbing his stomach and making a beeline for the stove. He hadn't realized that smooching made a man so hungry. He scooped a big pile of protein mush oatmeal into a bowl and turned to go sit down at the table. The mouthful he had been scooping up fell back into the bowl with a squishy plop.

There, sitting closely next to each other at the mess table, was his girl and David. Together. Sitting. Eating breakfast. Together. And there was giggling, too. What the hell?!

River could feel the anger and hurt surge off of Jayne. She sighed; obviously the Captain hadn't talked to him like he said he would. She had to diffuse this quickly.

"Good morning, Jayne," she smiled sunnily at him. Jayne just stared at her in shock. David had been so involved in showing River something on his laptop that he hadn't noticed Jayne enter until just then. He looked up at the large mercenary and gulped. He tried to inconspicuously slide away from River. He did like her, but that little knife viewing the previous day had him decide to watch his hide and maybe try for a different girl. One who was not on this ship. Preferably far away from this ship.

David wasn't stupid. He had realized shortly after meeting everyone that there was the beginning of a close relationship between the genius and the boat's mercenary. But she was pretty and smart, and she had smiled at him. He hadn't had a lot of girls do that, historically speaking. So maybe he had gotten a little bit cocky and thought that the uneducated Rim-worlder wasn't good enough for her.

So he had given it a go. She had seemed to be excited to spend time with him at first, in turns eagerly chatting with and then grilling him on his knowledge. He had thought he had a shot. Until last night.

He had waited until everyone was settled in for the evening, then snuck through the hall to the bay to check on his 'cargo'. As he was about to turn the corner through the doorway he heard voices. And giggling. Female and male giggling. Huh.

David peered around the corner and froze. There, in the corner of the bay, sitting on top of one of his crates, was Jayne, River in his lap. They were alternately whispering, giggling, and sucking face. And by the little moans she made while they were kissing, it appeared she wasn't exactly adverse to the situation.

After realizing what he was seeing he turned around and went back to his room, disappointed. He really did like her, but he knew he couldn't exactly fight Jayne for her, and why bother as it appeared that he already had her. Well, it was better this way, he reasoned, they lived together on the same ship, and he was just passing through. Better for her to have someone who was going to be there for her instead of always on the run.

And then, this morning, his world had turned on its head again. He had gone to the mess early to grab some breakfast and then retreat back to his room alone. River was already in there, waiting with two bowls in her hand.

"Hungry?" she said, her bright smile nearly blinding him.

"Huh?" was the best he could manage.

She had taken over the conversation, ushering him to the table, placing one of the bowls in front of him and sitting down right next to him. He had been utterly confused. He knew he had not been hallucinating last night, he absolutely had seen her with Jayne.

And now there was a large, angry, armed man in front of him, looking like he was going to rip David's arms off and use them for boomerang practice. David looked to River, then to Jayne, then to the table. He tried to surreptitiously slide away from her, but she kept sliding back towards him. He closed his eyes and swallowed.

River saw David close his eyes in fear and took that moment to signal Jayne. Her eyebrows rose up and she wiggled her fingers, I'm working.

Jayne's eyebrows rose even higher in response. He looked at David, who looked like he was trying to self-combust, and then back to River. He shook his head once, sadly, then grunted and stomped out. River sighed.

David opened one eye. "I'm alive?"

River giggled and slid closer to him. "Of course, silly. Now what were you saying about the inverse coding of asymmetric cryptographic algorithms?"

&&&&&&&

Mal heard his hired gun stomping toward the bridge long before he saw him. He had taken the early shift so he could catch the burly merc before breakfast, but he must have dozed off and missed him, if one could judge these things by the decibel level of the stomping.

"Dammit, Mal, what the hell were you thinking! She's not a bloody whore!" Jayne exploded onto the bridge. "And I'll be dammed if she's gonna be treated like one. I'ma puttin' a stop to this l'il charade right now!" He made as if to turn and stomp back out. Mal put a hand on his arm.

Jayne stopped and glared at him. "If'n ya wanted to know if ya could trust her, ya should'a asked me," he growled. "I'd trust her with my life, and I'm the one she's took out twice now. Did'ya think I'd lie to ya about how she's doin'?"

Mal paused, realizing where Jayne was coming from. River hadn't broken her promise to not tell- but Jayne had guessed what her job was, a job without him for the first time.

"Jayne, I'm not testing her. I trust her too. This is a legitimate assignment- I need to know what's going on around here. There's more to this Cosmo guy than we know, and I need answers as to why those feds tagged us and are tailing right now."

This stopped Jayne in his tracks. "We're bein' tracked?"

"Yeah. And we can't go acting like we know, when we don't know."

"Huh?"

"We can't rip off the tag or they'll suspect us of knowing what's going on and we don't know anything right now."

"Well, hell, I could'a tol ya that." Jayne ran a hand over his face. "I still don't like the idea of ya usin' Riv to seduce the l'il puke. Can't I just go beat it out of him?"

"I'm not asking her to do any such thing, Jayne. What do you take me for, a pimp? Look, the little 'puke' obviously has a crush on her, and if she can get him to talk, so much the easier-peasier. I can't have you beating on him when we don't even know who he really is. I'm fairly sure that if he even entertained the thought of acting inappropriately with her that she can twist him into submission."

Jayne grimaced at that oh-so-personal memory. Strong wrists on that girl fer sure. "All right fer now, but I'ma gonna keep an eye on them two," he stated fiercely.

Mal nodded. "Wouldn't expect anything less my friend." He smiled at the bigger man, noting that Jayne was really keeping his temper in check these days, no doubt that was River's influence.

&&&&&&&

Zoe entered the mess to grab an afternoon snack for her husband who was currently attached to the bridge chair and an intense game of 'herbivores versus carnivores'. The carnivores usually won, but the herbivores were doing a better than average job of hiding this afternoon. She paused at the sight before her.

At the mess table was one very quiet mercenary stripping and polishing gun parts- alone. For the past year he and River had been doing that task together, but right now she was nowhere to be seen. And then Zoe heard the low giggling and murmuring.

She stepped further into the room until she could see into the common area and stopped, shocked. There was River, curled up on the couch next to David, his computer stretched between their two laps. And here was Jayne, quietly watching them in his peripheral vision from the mess.

Zoe was most definitely confused. She had been sure that River and Jayne had finally had the same talk that had made her and Wash a couple forever. But here they were, apart again. And the stranger piece was that Jayne wasn't in the middle of dissecting David.

She looked up to see Mal standing in the opposite doorway staring at her. When he caught her eye he slowly shook his head. She was not to interfere. She glanced at the silent mercenary one more time before grabbing the snack bag and heading out.

Jayne had not been able to even acknowledge Zoe's presence. He was afraid that if he met her eyes, she would see the shiny glint in the tough man's eyes. He knew this was supposed to be just another job, but it tore him up that River should be spending time with someone other than him. Someone who, Jayne had to admit again to himself, was probably better for her in the long run.