Well, I heard you've got a special someone on the side, Burr.
What are you trying to hide, Burr?
Later that night, I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the previous hours. In my mind, all the images of Philip I had compiled from that day kept coming back repeatedly, one after the other.
Philip looking down, confused, ashamed, somewhat scared. Philip looking me in the eye, heartbroken, anguished, with a million questions and not a single answer. Phillip listening to me as I talked, the rays of sunlight shining on him, illuminating him.
I paced back and forth around the room as I wondered if I had said the right words to him. I absentmindedly ate my supper, or at least pretended I did, because I was not hungry at all and I had barely touched my food.
When my mother asked me if I was all right, the only thing I could say was that I felt indisposed as I looked away and fiddled with the edges of my sleeve. Unsure if my answer had convinced her, I couldn't help but wonder why I was feeling so puzzled. Why had I felt the need to lie? Was I really that terrible at lying?
Laying in my bed that night, one last image of Philip emerged into my head. Calmed, showing the hint of a smile of gratitude. Released. My stomach sunk at the realization I had contributed to that smile. I found myself well into a grin of my own, in the middle of the darkness.
All these could have been considered isolated events. What I am sure could not be attributed to chance was to have dreamed of him that night. When I woke up in the middle of the early hours of the morning with the image of him still fresh in my mind, that was when I finally had to ask myself.
What is happening to me?