A duel.

Philip got himself into a duel.

He told me he found Eacker in the theater and confronted him about what he had said. Eacker shot back by accusing him of appearing to be identical to his father. They might have just handled it outside if it wasn't because Eacker wanted to finish seeing his show.

So, of course, the only possible solution was to meet the next day at the break of dawn in Weehawken and settle it with pistols. The duel had even been formally agreed upon by their seconds.

I was feeling sick to my stomach, but I tried my best to keep myself together for him.

"Are you certain you want to do this?"

"What other choice do I have?"

"Do you even know how to duel? Have you even dueled before?"

"I haven't," he shook his head. "But before coming here, I went to see my father. He told me what to do."

I felt slightly skeptical of this. What could his father have told him that would help the situation?

"And? What did he say?"

"That I should aim my pistol towards the sky, so he would be compelled to do the same."

I felt nonplussed. I was glad he did not intend to shoot him, but also terrified, incredibly terrified, of what could happen to him. There were so many things that could go wrong. I didn't even want to allow myself to imagine them.

I absentmindedly stared at Philip, trying to make sense of what was happening. A part of me was absolutely convinced it couldn't be real. It simply couldn't.

But his voice was.

"Theo, say something."

"I don't know what to say… I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to hurt anybody."

"I won't."

Although I could tell he was trying his best not to show it, the fear that still lingered behind his eyes kept me uneasy.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little," he attempted to say nonchalantly, but the tremor in his voice betrayed him.

"Are you sure nothing else can be done?"

"I am."

"Does Mrs. Hamilton know?"

"No. She doesn't have to find out."

We still stood in front of each other, right in that spot in the middle of the woods, a thousand thoughts echoing in each of our minds.

I wish there was more I could have done. I wish there was more I could have helped him with. I hated the idea of helplessly standing around while all of this unfolded, but I certainly did not know how to do anything other than that.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" I finally said.

He looked down on me with a wistful smile.

"Would you take a walk with me?"

Of course I did. I worried about the walkway being too full with people, given the fact it was summer and the day a lovely, sunny one, so we settled for a stroll around the woods.

We didn't say much. There was not much to say, anyway.

Before I left, I begged him to be smart, and cautious, and to stay calm. I assured him everything would be all right, although I had no idea if it would. For the first time, he did not answer me with a thousand words, as he would have done in any other occasion. Instead, his eyes were the only thing that spoke. In them, I could see the fear, the dread, the anger, the sorrow, the willingness to live. All of them at once, unable to express themselves.

"Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Go ahead," he murmured.

"Can we meet tomorrow afternoon, after all is ended?"

"I'd like nothing more."

"Great," I nodded. "Philip, I will be waiting right here for you, and you better not disappoint me," I tried to say playfully, though it came more as a cry. "We will celebrate that you made it out just fine."

It was his turn to nod. His eyes became filled with tears of overwhelming fear, and mine followed suit.

I embraced him and he embraced me back. I tried to capture how it felt. I tried to somehow frame that moment in my mind. I tried with all my strength. Although all I can remember is the buzzing of my heart and the unrest and uncertainty that saturated the air around us, I've always considered it more than enough.

He held my head and said softly, only for me to hear:

"I will see you tomorrow, Theo."