All disclaimers apply
Ch 27- The Big Job- Part 1- Distractions
Mal handed Kaylee the binoculars. "Here, let me know when they're in."
Kaylee squinted through the tinted lenses and wriggled around to get more comfortable. She and the Captain had elbowed their way into the same bushes Jayne and River had been in several hours earlier.
"Ooh! I see them," she squealed suddenly.
Down below, Inara and a business casual-clad Jayne had pulled up in an expensive coup, courtesy Lt. Jay Shaw and his Independent 'repossessors'. Mal was originally going to be the inside guy, but when Jay's contact had shown up with the vehicle, the 'scientist' appropriate clothing he had brought had been too big for anyone but Jayne. Apparently the guy's cousin was also nearsighted; Jayne now sported a pair of glasses to match his borrowed ident card. Jayne glanced around and tapped his ear once before following Inara up the walkway to the front door.
"Alright, let's go," Mal told Kaylee. They wriggled backwards over the crest of the hill and stood up, quickly shucking their pale brown outerwear to reveal bright orange jumpsuits.
"Why do people always pick these ugly things as uniforms?" the Captain grumbled.
"Well I think they're comfortable, and the color is so bright and pretty!" exclaimed Kaylee.
"Well they certainly are bright," agreed Mal. They continued to skid down the backside of the hill, grabbed a couple of 'implements of destruction' as Kaylee called them, and then slipped around into the parking lot below, casually swinging their rakes here and there as they passed little islands of green in the lot. They had picked a spot to enter where there was a slight lapse in the crossover of the building's cameras. Only River had noticed it when they were spec-ing out the premises. Mal and Kaylee continued to rake and move closer to the building.
Inara confidently entered the lobby and paused, surveying her surroundings. Upon apparently just noticing the security guard's desk, she straightened up and stalked over. Jayne entered a few seconds behind her, crossing the lobby and acting for all the world as if he worked here everyday. Inara reached the front desk before Jayne reached the automatic entry kiosk.
"I'll need to speak to the property manager straightaway," she began with a smile.
The guard, a portly, middle-aged gentleman, never looked up. "So sorry, he's just left for the day." He turned the page of his newspaper and waved a hand in the direction of the door. "You can just leave the way you came."
Inara was incensed. Playing a part or not, this was no way to treat a Companion. She reared up to her full five foot, seven and one-quarter inch height.
"Do you know who I am?"
The guard sighed and made a show of putting down his paper. He sat back, crossed his arms, and gave Inara his full, albeit disgusted, attention.
Meanwhile, Jayne had made it to his first goal without being questioned. He ran the ident card through the slider, but instead of the turnstile releasing, the machine emitted a loud beep. Damn.
Inara tensed at the sound, but did not look away from the guard. "I said, I need to speak to the property manager, now."
The guard leaned slightly forward. "And I said that he's gone for the day. Can I help you with something?"
A few feet away, Jayne hesitated, then decided to go for broke. He slid the card through again and was rewarded with a comforting 'click' and the turnstile released. He went through and glanced back at Inara through his peripheral vision. She drummed her fingers on the counter, a sign to the Captain via comm that Jayne had made it through the first hurdle. The guard had never even glanced at Jayne. Huh. Who would have thought he would have passed for 'science guy'?
It was Inara's turn to lean slightly forward on the counter. She gave Mr. Portly Security Guard an up-and-down appraising look. "Well, maybe you can help me after all…"
&&&&&&&
Mal heard Inara's fingers drum through his comm. "Wash, Zo, Jayne's passed number one."
"Roger, Captain. We're moving into position now." Zoe looked to her husband. "Alright, husband, remember, anything goes south, you grab Kaylee and head back to the ship."
Wash saluted her. "Yes, Captain Wife, absolutely, gotcha, command coming in a-okay." Zoe shook her head but could not hide her smile as she started up the van the Independents had loaned them and drove towards the pickup point.
&&&&&&&
Poor Inara, Jayne thought to himself as he followed the corridors according to the directions River and Wash had worked out. Trying to distract that guy with a straight face, well, she deserved a medal for that. Ugh. He came to another locked door and slid the electronic card through again. It was supposed to be coded for the first three security levels; the last door would be the tricky one.
Another left, right, left, there. Jayne slid his card through and entered a short hallway with only three doors. He walked passed the first two and paused at the third. This was the tricky one. He took a small device out of his pocket and held it up to the box attached to the door over the knob. With his free hand he tapped the comm in his ear.
"River, I'm here."
"Reading you clear, Big Bear," she came back. Jayne sighed.
"I thought we decided against the cute secret spy nicknames?" he whined.
"You decided against them. You were overruled. Hold still."
Jayne held the device still over the doorknob and internally continued to whine against the whole spy nickname game that his girl, Kaylee, and that silly Wash had insisted upon. Just weren't professional, playin' games while doin' a serious job.
River's fingers flew over the cockpit's keyboard, reading and decoding sequences faster than David could read them. The Captain had decided that he should stay onboard and assist River with any problems that arose. At present he was standing behind her and off to one side, watching her work and trying to reconcile in his head the pretty, smart young woman he was seeing now with the deadly grace he had seen earlier.
"Try now," she told Jayne. She gritted her teeth, trying to keep David's feelings shut out. She didn't need the distraction while working.
Back in the building, Jayne leaned forward toward the door lock. It was a voice recognition synchronizer, and they only had three chances to get this right before causing a total lockdown of the facility. He nervously cleared his throat.
"Ah, my name is McGroyne. Patrick McGroyne. My voice is my passport, admit me." The doorlock beeped once, then nothing.
Shit, Jayne thought. He tried again. "My name is Pat McGroyne. My voice is my passport, admit me." Still nothing. Wait, there was something, a muffled sound coming over the comm. Was that laughter?
In a non-descript van at the top of a hillock overlooking the complex, Wash had nearly slid off the seat onto the floor, laughing while water poured out of his eyes. Zoe was glaring at him from the driver's seat.
"Jayne, hold up. I think I found the glitch," Zoe called out over the comm. She leaned toward Wash and punched his arm, solidly.
"Ouch! Honeeeey, that hurt!" he whined.
"This is not funny, husband-soon-to-be-not. Jayne only has one more shot at this, then he's locked in behind multiple layers of security!"
Wash tapped his comm, not taking his eyes off his wife. "Jayne, the name you need to be using is Paul McGrady."
"You gave him the wrong name!" Mal screamed into everyone's ears.
"Ow! Captain, it's okay," Kaylee interjected. She was staring down at her rake trying not to giggle in her Captain's ear. "Jayne, it's okay, don't panic."
"Don't panic?!" Jayne whisper-yelled. "I'ma gonna get nabbed cause 'a stupid joke!"
"No, no, it really is okay," River's voice piped into his ear. "I re-rigged the system to give you five attempts instead of three." She took another deep breath, trying not to be heard laughing over the wire. Jayne was not fooled, however.
"You were in on this too?!"
"Shh, it's okay, sweetie. Try again."
Mal was not done. He was raking so hard he was digging holes into the lawn. "Great, so I'm surrounded by geniuses who think we're here to have fun. You think we can all get back to the job here?!"
Back inside, Jayne, mumbling incoherently about sick jokes and revenge, leaned forward again. "My name is Paul McGrady. My voice is my passport, admit me." He held his breath. There was a barely audible click and the small light on the lockbox turned from red to green.
He sighed heavily, turned the doorknob easily, and peeked inside the room. There was no one in the drab, unremarkable office. He glanced back down the hall to double-check that he was alone, and slipped inside the room quietly closing the door behind him. He tapped his earpiece, "I'm in," then went quiet as he looked around the office. There were half-built animal robot models, but no small black boxes, and nothing in the desk drawers either. He peered a little closer at one of the models and shuddered when he realized that it looked like some sort of evil experiment; the silver creation had a cat's head on a lizard's body. He turned to the painting on the wall.
"The old fashioned ways never die," he mumbled. He placed a hand on either side of the painting and wiggled it slightly. One side came off the wall with a quiet 'pop!' and he swung it out perpendicular from the wall. Sure enough, there was a wall safe. He grabbed the second button of his shirt front and lifted it upward.
"You reading this, Riv?"
Back on the bridge, River peered into the small console screen. "Yes, a standard tumbler sequencer?"
"Prolly." Jayne placed his ear flush to the wall safe and started spinning the dial slowly, confidently.
"How we doin' people?" Mal's voice came across as worried, tense. By now he had pretty much destroyed the work of probably several groundskeepers. Kaylee was trying not to giggle as he proceeded to dig another hole in some mulch as he awaited an answer.
"Almost there, Cap'n," Jayne quietly replied. One more slow swirl to the right, then 'click', and with a turn of the lever the safe door popped open with a small whoosh of air.
As Jayne went to pull the safe door the rest of the way open, there was a sudden beep and click behind him, and the doorknob to the office started to turn. Jayne jumped.
"Cap'n!" he whispered. "ya send some'un in to me?"
"No," Mal whispered back. "We're all out here, 'cept Inara, she's still in the lobby, I can see her from here. What's wrong?"
Shit. "Goin' silent, Cap'n." Jayne quickly shut the safe door and swung the painting back flush to the wall as the office door opened and a tall blonde woman in a black slinky dress slipped into the office. She quickly shut the door and spun around to face Jayne.
"You are Professor Doctor McGrady?"
"Ah, ah, yes. That's me. Professor. And Doctor. Oh, and McGrady too. Ah, I think ya're in the wrong place, lady." Jayne stuttered and began to take steps backwards as she smiled seductively and started to saunter up to him.
"Oh, no, Herr Doctor. I'm in exactly the right place." She stepped right up to his chest, squishing one boob right into the button camera River had placed on him earlier.
"I understand it is your birthday today, Professor Doctor? You have some friends who think very highly of you, to have hired me and found a way to sneak me in here. We will have some fun working verrrry hard in your office, no?"
Jayne was backed up against the wall by now, the woman leaning into him along the length of his body. She purred and slipped her hand southwards. Jayne squeaked, but not loud enough to miss the soft hiss in his earpiece. River.