Like I said in the last chapter, I was stuck with the story but I've managed to find some inspiration. The story is going to start slow but it will pick up the place in the later chapters so please be patient with the pace I set. I want it to be as realistic as possible and remember that Ha Ni is human and can't become a completely new person overnight. She still has to overcome the challenges life presents and her own habits that drove her to this point. Enjoy this chapter and I promise to post the next one in a few days.
I paused outside the front door. I quickly checked my face with my hands to make sure I had no tell tale marks of my crying earlier. I knew my eyes were most likely puffy but there wasn't much I could do about that. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door.
"Ha Ni, is that you?" Auntie called from the kitchen.
"Yeah, it's me!" I called back trying to keep my voice as even as I could. I debated escaping to my room but as I heard Auntie quickly making her way to the front door, I opted to take my time taking off my shoes.
"It's so windy out. What were you doing out by yourself? You could have gotten sick!" Auntie began before coming to a halt at the sight of me. "What's wrong Ha Ni? Did that stupid son of mine do something mean to you again? I swear that boy is so inconsiderate even I sometimes think he was adopted or got switched at birth."
"No, no, nothing like that Auntie." I tried laughing it off. "I just took a walk around the neighborhood and being the silly ol' me, I forgot to take a sweater."
Auntie looked at me skeptically.
"I'm really okay Auntie. In fact, I haven't even talked to Seung Jo all afternoon." That was a lie, but she didn't need to know that.
"Ha Ni, if my son said or did something mean to you, tell me so I can put that boy in his place."
"No Auntie, it's really true. I just think I'm coming down with a cold or something. And while I was at the park, some kids kicked sand into the air and some of it got in my eyes. That's why my eyes got all puffy."
Auntie looked like she was debating whether or not to accept the lie I told her. I gave her a big smile to show her that despite the puffy, red eyes I was actually okay.
"Ma. She already said she's fine. There's no need for you to get worked up over the baka being an idiot like usual." Eun Jo said as he walked past the entrance.
"See, even Eun Jo can see I'm fine. I'll head up to my room to change." I said as I quickly made my escape. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Eun Jo give me a strange look.
I quickly climbed the stairs and just as I reached the top, Seung Jo's bedroom door opened. Caught of guard about having to face Seung Jo so soon, I averted my gaze and dashed into my room. I quickly shut my door and leaned heavily against it. I stayed still for a moment thinking Seung Jo would come knocking at my door. He didn't. I heard his quiet footsteps head towards the staircase and slowly begin to fade away with each step he took. I sighed. Why did I expect differently. Stupid Ha Ni.
I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. I could feel the tears welling up behind my close eyelids. I tried not to let them fall. Everyone was home right now and it wouldn't do to have my eyes all red and puffy. So much for crying alone at home, I thought. I needed to be fine. I was going to go downstairs and be fine. I was going to eat dinner and be fine. I was going to have a normal conversation with the family and be fine. I was going to be fine. I opened my eyes and blinked several time to disperse the tears. No tears fell but my eyes still felt moist so I grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom.
I washed my face with soap and warm water taking care to massage my eyes. I patted my face dry and looked at myself in the mirror. With a recently washed face, I looked okay-ish. My eyes were still a bit puffy and red but besides that I looked fine. I gave myself a smile through the mirror. It came out as a grimace. I slowly exhaled and inhaled before trying again. Better.
There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Ha Ni, mother said to come down for dinner." It was Eun Jo.
"I'll be right there."
I waited until I heard him walk away. I went to get a sweater from my room to avoid Auntie's questions about why I didn't change before heading downstairs. I paused outside the dining room, took a deep breath, and did my best to appear as normal as possible.
"Ha Ni, there you are. We were starting to wonder where you were." Auntie was quick to greet me. "Come and sit so you can start eating."
I nodded before sitting down at my usual spot across the table from Seung Jo. Pa and Uncle were talking to each other and Auntie was talking to Eun Jo while she began serving dinner. Seung Jo and I remained quiet as dinner started.
"Why are you two so quiet this evening?" asked Auntie. "Did something happen? What did you do to poor Ha Ni you cold-hearted son of mine?"
Seung Jo calmly kept eating so I decided to try and steer the conversation away from the two of us.
"I'm just thinking about school, is all."
"Really? What's making you think so hard about it?"
"Well, I was just thinking about how I need to explore my options at school to try and figure out what career I want to pursue." I explained even though I had just thought up the excuse.
"Are you looking at a particular course," Auntie asked.
"No. I was thinking about exploring the other clubs the school has to offer."
"With your academic streak?" snickered Eun Jo. "You should focus on improving academically before trying to join any new extracurricular clubs."
"Eun Jo!" Auntie admonished. "You should be supporting Ha Ni instead of bringing her down."
"But it's true!" Eun Jo defended himself.
"He's right Auntie. I should focus on my academics first," I tried calming Auntie down.
"In that case, Seung Jo can help you out!" Auntie exclaimed excited. I flinched slightly. I didn't want to be pushed into Seung Jo's presence just when I had decided to truly separate myself from him.
"No, it's okay."
"Nonsense! Seung Jo is a great tutor. He helped you out during your high school exams and got you in the top 50. He can do it again!"
"I'll really be okay. The school has a tutoring program where I can get help. I know Seung Jo is busy with his own studies without having to worry about mine too." I tried to reason.
"But Seung Jo was already your tutor. He knows the best way to help. Right Seung Jo? Can't you tutor Ha Ni again?" Auntie asked a still quiet Seung Jo. Seung Jo took his time to respond.
"Ma, like Ha Ni said, I am busy with my own studies. And she already said she was going to get help from the school's tutoring center. There is no need for me to get involved."
"Right! If hyung doesn't have time to help me with my studies, there is no way he has time to help the baka out." Eun Jo quipped.
"Both of you be quiet. Can't you see this is important for Seung Jo's and Ha Ni's relationship to get going? You both make everything so difficult!" cried Auntie.
"Like it's even going anywhere." Eun Jo muttered loud enough for me to hear.
I finished my food quickly to avoid any further confrontation and excused myself from the table. Auntie still seemed upset about the whole tutoring situation but I knew that she would get over it soon. I thought about the dinner conversation. Eun Jo did have a point. I needed to improve academically before trying to add more to my plate if not I was not even going to have a degree to help me pursue any career. And like Seung Jo said, he wasn't the only tutor who could help me. The school had a whole center full of student tutors dedicated to helping others like me improve their terrible grades. Making up my mind, I decided to visit the tutoring center the next day and find myself a tutor, someone who wasn't Seung Jo and hopefully someone who could get me to focus on school instead of nonsense like unrequited love.